my lies run far

fitting in

cheating

what will my brain say

I avoid the truth

can't be honest

but I hate liars

like myself

don't leave me alone

even if I begged you so

trying so hard to let go

I'll hold on tighter

don't leave me alone

even if I said so

I'm desperately screaming inside my head

no I'm not okay

the voices say I'm a burden

so I shut my mouth and forget I'm broken

I can feel it

every inch of my skin

I'm sorry I can't say it

please just leave me alone

our love is a joke

for you
I can be a fool

blinded
I can't hear it

you're full of tricks
I'm entertained

I'm convinced the sky is green
if you tell me

I'm a little off
loving you is surreal

I don't have a face
because I am your reflection

I want to create a perfect memory

I'm a fake

don't look too closely

I want to go back to a time that doesn't exist

it's all in my head

back then

I'd hug

now I'm afraid of touch

lately

forgetting

about my surroundings

remembering past faces

old places

where am I running to

I lost my breath a long time ago

you don't want to remember

let the thought haunt you now

you will remember

I'll remind you

you're so wrong

we don't deserve good

you're the biggest fool

stop your childish behavior

everyone is hurting around you

are you this selfish

remember

nothing satisfies you

I'll help you remember the truth

the memories burn you

I lay in bed breathless
touched
you're a burning star

my tears taste like aspirin
I love all my bad friends
we fall through the floor every night

I think she hasn't ate in a week
he's indecisive he's on fire
I can't keep up they're so high

a bottle a night
smile for the money
passed fifteen red lights
nothing can stop me

haven't blinked in ten minutes
can't feel my hands
hold them down

spin
spinning down

crazy what you'd do for a friend

sometimes I want to throw up
but nothing ever comes up

I get this horrible feeling
I can't change or make it go away

I hate myself for all my mistakes
the decisions I've made

it hurts to know
it hurts to tell

maybe I'm your worst friend

maybe
I don't deserve you

I forgot your birthday
don't know your mom's name
haven't seen you in ages
we talk in simple sentences

I know
I'm your worst friend

if you leave
I deserved it

you're too nice
I'd never take advantage
maybe I hold on because you're all I have

you're my best friend
you deserve better

I love you
you don't take it seriously

why can't we say I love you anymore

do you not trust me
that's on me

I know
I come and go

I'm begging please trust me when I say
I won't hurt you

hurts me more when you don't

why can't I say I love you
felt so wrong the first time I did
felt like it went to waste

you came along
we haven't met in so long
still the same too nice you can't runaway

do you not consider me
even as a friend

beautiful stranger
fall into my arms
I beg you please
believe me

you're the greatest gift
thankful
how could I ever repay you

bathing in our blood
you took the best of me

family lies

untie our blood

hard to believe

the people you looked up to

are lying

burning off my roots

they will collect the ashes

I don't feel safe here

accepting

they point fingers

I am wrong

they are right

every time I comeback

nothing has changed

they look the same

I misplaced my trust

they laugh when I fall

I brainwash myself with the good memories

we can't go back to the time

pulling out the knives

they cut me deeper and leave me bleeding

let me bleed out

I don't want the blood of hypocrites

not many can touch my heart

even when it's open

everything I touch
breaks

a loop hole

walk home

I ate a flower
it's growing inside me

everything I love
hates me

I'm not good for anyone

I'm not good to myself

repeatedly

I ruin everything

her eyes are made of starlight
I watch them glow

soft

soft

soft

light

she holds a galaxy in her veins
I'm falling into ****** wrists

her tears blind me
I make a wish

couldn't be more thankful
so much I can't tell you

let me trace the moon
and the stars

I'd always fall short
nothing amounts to all the love

are you listening
are you listening

I miss you
even when I hate you

I miss you
even if we don't talk anymore

I miss you

can't stop my brain
all day
have our memories on replay

I miss you
sometimes it hurts to

feels like you're on the other side of the moon
digging deeper
tearing myself apart
I've made a mess of myself
look around
no one is home
I caught a curse
I cannot give away
come close the door
standing in the dark
I'm begging you
let it go
let me go
I never reach the other side
crying inside
I'm feeling better the next day
I stay sinking
I learned how to hold my breath
looking around
silence
I know
there's no one looking out for me anymore

too soon
filled with fear
she became a creator

humanoid
how could they ever feel joy

she's created them with a beauty
if they can touch if they can cry are they like us

now flesh feels unreal
if they can bleed red if a wound hurts and causes pain

do their eyes see
how beautiful a rose grows in the cold

does their nose
know the smell of home

heartless android

do they know
do they think
do they feel
do they know

not everyone lives days

I had a vision

I'm bigger than my body

my soul ran across the universe

some homes have a moonless sky

I've tasted stardust

I watched a sun die on my nose

I fell into a black hole

lost can't find my way home

I dream of it

a place

where fire doesn't burn

water floats

there are more colors to the rainbow

I miss sleeping underwater

when the time comes

I'll go with gratitude

goodbye to this planet

reborn inside a different galaxy

I know you miss me

no messages exchanged for months

I did wrong

I know you care

I made myself believe

you moved on

it's the truth

easily I knew

we don't see each other anymore

communication

I'm impatient

I'm all alone

you wait

you've moved on

I forgot everything we were

I forget of what it was like before

if you let me remember

I'll miss you again

eager
to peel off my skin

if I could change my voice
I'd be louder

if I could see
smaller

impatient

I'm falling asleep
after waking up

good morning
it's 4 am

I want to rip my nails off
welcome the pain

this isn't my day
tomorrow is the same

the darkness overflows in my head

I've loved the night sky my whole life

I hug the moon to sleep

it's time I open a window

tomorrow I will kiss the sun good morning

let the light inside

every time I'm torn apart

I will grow closer to the sun

sad to say
but
some of my poems
aren't poems

we're all looking for a space to fit in

a space where I can let go of my words
hoping someone will catch them

a space
where we silently judge
in the end
stay silent
no one cares for your opinions

if I say something simple
it's not special

I wish we weren't so serious
don't look deep into a puddle

sorry to say
but some of your poems
aren't poems

there are infinite days
now I miss the sky
now I miss the wind

upstairs
I let my shadow walk ahead of me

I miss the night sky
days I wished for clear skies wide eyes

a room without a window
feels like I'm wearing chains

is it raining
what's this feeling
I turn off all sounds
quiet down
I can slowly hear it now

if I walkout
I can hear the stars say
where did you go
we are here for you

it's 10 am
how did I start
I wonder
scratching my legs
rushing towards the nail clippers
it gets better
heartbeat too fast
might pass out
I took a call and collapsed
afraid of the other side
good thing they can't look into my eyes
falling to the floor
hitting down the walls
my heart is out of control
I haven't touched my brain
it's only Tuesday
why can't I live peacefully
chaotic mornings
where's my oxygen
I'm only scared
this is the beginning
let it be the last

I miss you
here and now

you can't find me
I make no sounds

if you want my eyes
I'll take them out

keep on hiding
I feel like crying

I regret everything I do
I pushed you back
don't pull away

if I say something
I said the opposite

everything dies
between you and me

I can't reach your universe

\ he likes a beautiful rose
all my roots are dying \

you're talking to girls miles away
I'm here right in front of your face

I lose my head every night
you're not the one
why do I try

all the bad things about you
I forget

I've lost all my sanity
you're acid rain
I can't tell the difference

I can't let my guard down
you might break my heart right now

I wish you would wish for me
I can read the stars

I can hear them tell me
you don't want me

I've never seen an angel dressed in red

walking ahead
my sight has not returned

you burned my tongue
I breathe through the smoke

I've never seen a million faces inside one
you spoke carefully

running far
you found my name

I'm thinking of ways
to see you again

it's times like these
I wish I was faceless

I am done
loving you so much

I'm afraid
to see you again

I'd fall into your trap
stuck like a rat

running from your voice
I wait for you to catch up

happiness doesn't come often

empty

this is the part where I feel sad

more and more

better than nothing

better than feeling numb

better than waiting for satisfaction

now I don't how to stop it

more and more

If I can't have you
If I can't love you

well then

I'll hate you

let me slowly forget
let me slowly erase

all of my hopes and dreams
I thought maybe the stars would align
the universe would be on my side
the impossible stays silent

I can't love you
I can't have you

it's easier to hate you

somedays
I need all the lights on
everytime I do wrong
+ + +
rest well
turn off the lights
I did my best

me sigues en mis sueños

me tocas el corazon

I'm okay

te quiero

si no me quieres

está bien

te veo en mis sueños

no dejas mi corazón

even the lowest stars
will reach my eyes

yes
I have found you
now
I must lose you

you
.
   .
     .
can you love me
because I can't love myself

how do I validate my feelings
I know everyone is feeling the same

everyone is going through it
we fall and get back up

even then
it's hard to say hello

we bare it until we explode
automatic happy machines

come back
I'm losing myself
I forgot what makes me smile

let me feel artificial love
swallow the sunlight
I had a dream
I can't remember

we're the same
we're so disconnected

all I know is pain

I've been told there is more

they say I can get better

they say
try my best

no signs of change

I hurt
I hurt
it hurts

they say everything will be okay

they say

everything feels better now

they say
they say
they say
they say

I'm afraid

I sabotage my own happiness

there's a time to love alone
water falling down
silently

I want to open your body
find your emotions
don't let me speak
I want to close your mouth shut
you move so slow
I want to replace your bones

all of my memories with you
don't hug me to sleep anymore

I'm so unhappy
I wonder
did you ever make me happy

was I in love
or lonely

I wasn't looking for you
where is the rain

falling
d own
    dow n
        d own

safe and sound

I was looking for the rain

come into my room
a cloud on the ceiling

what are you feeling

don't call

I'm falling

dow n
   do wn

does the fire ever feel like home
warm
with a soft brush to the bone

standing far away
eyes
I wait for the flames to rise

die down
couldn't be found
dancing around

clock hits zero
I can be okay
tomorrow
I make no promises

the fire is my home
I burn
I am burning
left to ashes

I will rise again