I saw the devil enter your body
I watched you glow brightly
the way you smiled was frightening

you took your chances
kept on dancing

I can't find my way
you go to heaven and come back

I'm crazy
you're high
something or someone on your mind

I watch the devil leave
you look so weak

you can't reach heaven without the time

terrified

you let the devil inside
the walls are loud
the floors are shaking

I've seen the devil
he's the sparkle in your eyes

my lies haunt me
every day
inside my head

I've lost my sanity
I can't face the truth

if anyone finds the truth

all I think about is
all the tears
all the blood
all the sadness
all the regret
all the lying

how can you trust me
how can I trust myself

another day
I swallow my tears
all I want to do is scream

set me free
what must I do
to erase all my mistakes
I don't want to remember all my regrets

what must I do
I want to start over
every time I lie
I can feel the truth behind me

dear me
tell about your sad dream
why did you wake up so gloomy

it's a
sunny
windy
day

with so many plans ahead

take a deep breath before you leave bed

dear me
you can't remember your dreams
live a happy reality please

take a deep breath and sleep

is it halloween soon
I miss november

the first time I saw those yellow walls
I knew trouble was in the waking

I shut myself down
december was hot

I melted down
I watched the blood on my arms

then I found her again
crying in front of me
I didn't let a single tear fall

I felt so strong
now all I see
is a weak child

they just wanted a hug

I can't wait for the leaves to fall
I'll wear my red coat

my first winter

I'm so tired
so are you

let's talk soon

I kept the scissors behind my back

you hurt me till the very end

I stopped growing in 2017

what does it matter now

I carry 40k words on my back
heavy and light

so much darkness
in different shades

I'm in a grey space

you thought I'd go back
so did I

you're the reason I cried so many nights
that's fine
I still love you so much

feels so good to be mature
even if I hear you speak with anger

one day
I'll tell you
(I know I won't)

you're in the dark

you should move out
I forget you like the toxic people
around you
everything is rotten

I'm out
I'm out
I remind myself
I can't be trapped with you anymore

you're still so big in my weak heart

I hope you don't hate me
it's okay of you do

I hate you too

don't imagine
I'll change the temperature units

I'm stuck in celsius now

you drive in miles
I don't know

all the little differences
I want to cry
I'm too tired to

I'm trying for me
not for nobody

at least I'm trying

sleeping early
I let her go
learning
I said I love you
goodnight

don't think
I won't change
I will

I'm slowly
trying

I still frown
but I smile behind my mask

I can see so clearly
I might cry tomorrow morning

I'm just happy
and so sad

recovering
bits of healing
in my breakfast

I'll go into your room
it's darker
there's too much sun in mine

I've never been excited for the next months to come

don't say
what I miss so far

everyone is changing
everything is dying

the world is in pain
I'll recover and heal
I'll wait to love it back to health

everyone is growing
everything is the same

he will stay in farenheit
I don't mind

that old pink folder
have long have you kept it
under my nose

all the trauma
came to me in waves
harder it crashed against me

pushing me back
into those dark memories
how long will I keep forgetting

pretending it's normal

was it normal to never ask me
if I was okay

no one said nothing

and neither did I

no se qué decir
ya me voy para siempre

rotos
me siento mejor

ahora aprende vivir sin mí
rotos estamos mejor

quiero hablarte
decirte mucho mas
pero las palabras no sale de mí

no tengo nada
no regresó hoy

porque rotos
estamos mejor

si me quieres
aprende
y deja me ir


I can't lie
I miss you so much

I miss the bittersweetness

I miss it all

you're such a child
you act like you know it all

years ago
you didn't understand my pain

I'm finally out of that dark time
a dark paradise

I've found myself again
I'm ready to begin

don't want to wait behind you

so tired
everyone is in suffering

how can I grow
with all this sadness around me

over the phone
I forget all the damage
you've caused

some days I want to cry
why am I going through this

it's all my fault
it's all your fault

don't call me
I don't want to talk about nonsense

where did you go
have I done something wrong
will we distance ourselves further away

I miss you
don't pretend you don't think of me

we never connect the way you imagined

where did I go
I can't find myself

looking out the window
will it rain
is there a way
I can get myself back into my body

wandering
I don't think I can find my way back

it hurts
everyday

not being able to say
the words you deserve to hear

I repeat them in my head
it's pointless
you're not a mind reader

who did this to me
did I break myself

I'm filled with love
but I can't say
I love you

how beautiful
this city welcomed me

I don't believe I'm here
I hope I wake up soon

I'm scared
I'll return to my home
filled with pain


where am I now
I've awakened

I know you resent me
it feels too good
this distance
it's what I always wanted

trouble waking up
my dream of living in the city
is waiting for me in a reality I know

fields of green

clouds don't follow me

some days I'm so happy

I leave my body

I find myself back through the night
trees so high

I wonder if they hate me

sometimes

I wonder if when I learn to love
I'll have no one to love anymore

us three
so full of life

I want to hug them close
and keep us frozen in time

I feel so free

I left my body

I'll find myself tomorrow

some nights I call the wind
she runs into my arms

I've lost all the stars
when I let you go
it wasn't enough

our sweet goodbye
thinking back
I want to cry

sometimes I'll cry with the rain
she doesn't dream of me
never saw my pain

wondering
will she miss me now

I will give her the sky
endless
and she will find me

you're so obsessive
with yourself

you should know
you don't owe anyone anything

you just love the attention
you bathe in your lovers blood

I don't want to talk to you again
you know too much about me I'm scared

you're reckless behavior
you're dangerous
you intentions are the devils thoughts

I try and keep my distance
your fire is contagious
I can't keep it away

I know what you want to hear
you're so predictable
you're so shallow
I can see right through you

what's it to you
if you lose me again

I lost you once
but this time
I'm not losing a friend

I don't know who you are
so much
you've changed

I wish I hadn't left

who have you become

yes I need help
why do the cuts on this plastic plate remind me of the ones on my arm

I don't want to fall again
I'm not promising

there's no ending
if something scratches off the scab

distancing myself away from sharp objects
in the back of my mind

I know where the scissors are kept

you ignore the signs every year
how much longer
before I **** myself

your reckless behavior
put yourself in danger

once in while you should sit down
don't look down on me

you're just fooling around
I can't stop you
so I watch you drown

the rush gets you hot and bothered
I don't know you anymore

keep changing in front of my eyes
I feel so left behind

all the emotions

flowing away

I'm sad

yes

I'm mindful

I'm mad

yes

I'm aware

all the lies

dissolving

I've been punishing myself

all this pain

it has no answer

I only wished for rainy days

I covered myself with a blanket of darkness

the angels

my grace

I can hug the sunlight

I can live

I dream of tomorrows

slowly

my soul will come

I will find it

in a daydream

you must love the control
you must love the lies
you must love the mind games

brainwash me
brainwash me

my life is a dream

everything I know
unfolding
a lie slips out

tell me again
your twisted fairytale
sounds so real

your magic
doesn't work on me

I love you
for trying

all my life
I fed off your tragedies

your shadow
your reflection
I broke the mirror
and cut myself with the broken pieces

it's not your fault

you must love
you must love it

staring off into another plane

somewhere this place doesn't exist

a state of mind
take me higher
to another level

this world feels like a cage

humans step all over me

smaller and smaller I walk

this isn't my home

mapping the sky to find
where I'll be reborn

locked inside this body
I'm contained

I don't use my brain

these veins are weak
I can't function

tell me why

close minded
a shut third eye

crush me down

I'm lost

I don't know where I belong

out of this world

so comfortable
inside this kind darkness

I know there's more colors
more brighter

I can't see

I can't wake up to

I give myself away
again

you take me for granted

I love you so much
I'm blinded

does it matter what happens now

I feel so guilty about before

you can feed off of me

even if no one ever listens to me

I will always hear everything

who will ever

I keep my
nails short
my hair short

my clothes long
my eyebrows long

I see no wrong
I'm so comfortable

why must I change for you
why are you so uncomfortable

everyday I see a rainbow
sneaking into my day
I wish they knew the end

a little harder
I cry

I talk a little louder everytime

I move softly
I'm still so clumsy

I catch myself from falling

when I was a child
all I ever wondered was
do my mom and dad love me?

does she love me
even if she treats me this way?

does he love me
even if he doesn't care for me?

I'm so depressing
if I'm ever alone again
I don't want to become darkness

I'm so desperate
I stay with you instead
confused if your sadness
matches with my loneliness

we are always the toxic pair
one starts to rot while the other stays there

you turn the lights off
you turn them on
feeling dizzy

if you say the truth in that tone
I'll feel like I don't belong

I'm not sorry
I'm just mad

I don't want to be dependent
but
you're all I have

I wish you understood
we're not good for eachother

a little funny
you don't love me anymore

if I could go back
would we be closer
would you have come closer

don't worry
I feel so blue
without you

best friends
something is wrong with you

I'm waiting on you
something is wrong

I feel so lost in your darkness
how can I love you this way

where's the light switch
am I supposed to fix everything alone

this isn't a friendship
I'm in love with you
you don't treat me like
a friend
you don't love me like a lover

ignore me
hope you feel better

a little funny
how I pretend to be over it
I'm worried crazy

are you okay
I'll love you
even if you push me further away

I'm a foolish boomerang

I'm feeling crazy
I miss you
where have you been

dear my friend
I think I'm feeling some way
I think I'm avoiding it
I swallow the feelings down

but
the butterflies I keep coughing up
they keep coming out

I don't feel safe
dear my friend
I hate you
this is all my fault
why do I love you so much
when did I love you this much

where are you now
are you okay
tell me is there anything you can say
I feel worse when you don't

I just want to sleep
I want to dream of you in my arms

dear my friend
this is my fault
don't ever come back

can you call me

by what I want

are you going to hate me now

do I have to live like a zombie

can't I be the real me

what will you do with me

can't I be myself

maybe I'm too scared

too afraid

I'll lose you after this

I sleep selfishly

looking forward to the day I take off this mask

turn your cheek
you're beautiful
I'm so jealous
you're so radiant

I'm not your soulmate

how can I believe

if I've lost my soul

don't wait up on me

I'll never learn to love and care

how can I believe it

a delicate soul

all I feel is a void

I can't see it

there's no one for me

if I am no one
for someone

I miss the cold rain
falling down my shoulder

walking in the dark
gives me a powerful feeling

I can do anything
even if I'm slow and a weakling

I know someone follows me around
since I was a little child

no harm comes my way
I'm thankful and angry

I can't walk down a dangerous path
I'm never frightened

the faster I swing
faster
I go

you can't find your brain
eating down all your lost words

I'm older
hold on tighter

I'm so behind
you're right next to me now

so afraid to run away
I'll lose my breath

I've fallen
hidden away

I won't remember your name
I'll stop talking

you don't have to think about it

dreaming of heads
I saw yours on my shoulder

why can't I be warm

haunting me
you're still in my brain

did you ever look at me this way

can't go back
I can't go back
just to see you one last time

show up at the wrong time

reminded

you're not the one
but I want you to be

all my wasted thoughts
all my unspoken words

where do they go
can anyone hear me

how far can I go
where does the blood go

if I changed

am I still the same

who was I
I don't remember the beginning

all I dream of
are endings

what a beautiful sky
a painful sunset

i want to see your face
how can i hold you in my arms

it's true
it's all true

I want to rip off my skin
I want to take out all the bones from my body

this is what i've become
why so surprised
why so surprised

beautiful ocean waves
I daydream of somedays

the bells are loud today

this world feels like hell
humanity doesn't give me hope

I'm obsessed with the pain
how can I pretend
it's flowing inside my veins
7 years
lucky me
I'm the darkness
these wounds won't heal
I keep cutting them open again and again
I'm in love with the pain
drowning in my biggest fears
I'm past saving
I'll destroy myself now
I'm obsessed with the broken pieces

set me free

you know I have no tomorrow

stuck in a loop
I don't change anymore

set me free

I'm a disappointment
don't look

I know it's all my fault

set me free

I will fall

splattered all over the floor

set me free

drowning in a bathtub

set me free

I'll be waiting in the darkness

can you turn the lights off
again
again

control
my biggest illusion

no
no
I like the hurt myself
it will burn


will you hate me
let me know

it's all my fault
I know
I know

I won't tell anyone of my failures

I'm sorry
I was waiting for you to save me

I'm still waiting

it's too late
forgive me

4 missed calls

how much longer can I go on

it's all my fault

guilty

I won't take the blame

I'm scared I'll lose you again

do you want to see the mask I wear everyday

I'm sorry

I don't know what's wrong with me

for you I'd try again

the truth is

I always fail

hey friend
sorry I lie to your face

how do I tell the truth

that's all I do
that's all I do

lie
lie

all I do

telling lies
to your face

all I do
all I do

you don't know it

I'm trying to hate you
it's not going so well
I end up hating myself

have you forgiven me ?
I'm still so sorry
sorry I don't apologize
I feel guilty every night

Ignore me
leave me all alone
I don't deserve you anymore

I want to cry some more
who have I become

I miss you
I loved and I love you

so much time apart
I don't understand
everything I do sounds wrong

I hate myself a little more everyday
how can you speak to me again

I wish I didn't try and fix broken things
all of my emotions are bleeding into the heat

everything falls around me

don't forget to smile

the scars never fade away

covering up I stay sane

who am I

what makes me happy

I have no personality

I can't be sentimental

I want to disappear

just hope you'll miss me

**** your head
before it's too late

it consumes you
your skin absorbs the darkness

keep it far away
don't turn the lights off

I've already lost
don't lose yourself

all this green
colors flashing

I'm so hungry
I don't know how to eat

I've lost all my life
I don't know to exist

so sick of it
aren't you sick of this

we feel the sams
drowning
hold my hand
we'll go down together

losing our breath
I wonder how it'll ever get better than this

you have a pretty face
you wouldn't understand my pain

over my head
over my head
over my head

over my head
over my head
over my head

over my head
over my head
over my head
over my head
over my


is it too late
to save me

that's all I wish for
please reach out
I'll hold on tight

why does everyone slip away

I had a dream
it won't come true

my heart broke
so much it hurts

I'll wait here
death will save me first
I'll hold on tight
don't let go

hold me back
ripping off my skin

look away
the scars aren't fading away

I've lost my head
changing names

this isn't me
who are they

I can't remember who I was
was I ever someone
someone I can't remember
can I ever exist again

pushed into the deep end
I've been holding my breath

lost my way
looking back
you don't want to see inside my head

not one person
too many people

all this noise
where's my voice

a beautiful dream
now I'm a nightmare

saving me
isn't it a bit too late

I've been living six feet underground
you buried me
did you believe this coffin
was comfortable

buried alive
you left me here to rot
why are you digging up my grave

it's too late
don't make me change
I have so much dirt inside my lungs

don't come
don't save me now
I like this darkness

don't play the hero
don't forget you were the bystander

the backstabber
wants to treat my wound

guilt crawls up your head
maybe I've been haunting you

don't save me
remember you left me here to die