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Jan 2020 · 172
memories of her
eileen Jan 2020
I want to open your body
find your emotions
don't let me speak
I want to close your mouth shut
you move so slow
I want to replace your bones

all of my memories with you
don't hug me to sleep anymore

I'm so unhappy
I wonder
did you ever make me happy

was I in love
or lonely
Jan 2020 · 120
somewhere else
eileen Jan 2020
I wasn't looking for you
where is the rain

falling
d own
    dow n
        d own

safe and sound

I was looking for the rain

come into my room
a cloud on the ceiling

what are you feeling

don't call

I'm falling

dow n
   do wn
Jan 2020 · 50
2020
eileen Jan 2020
does the fire ever feel like home
warm
with a soft brush to the bone

standing far away
eyes
I wait for the flames to rise

die down
couldn't be found
dancing around

clock hits zero
I can be okay
tomorrow
I make no promises

the fire is my home
I burn
I am burning
left to ashes

I will rise again
Dec 2019 · 208
too late too soon
eileen Dec 2019
ɪ'ᴍ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ɢᴏɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀɢᴀɪɴ

ᴛᴇᴍᴘᴏʀᴀʀʏ

ʟᴀꜱᴛ ʀᴀɪɴʏ ᴅᴀʏꜱ ᴏꜰ ᴍᴀʏ
ᴍᴇꜱꜱʏ ʙᴇᴅ
ꜱʟᴇᴇᴘʏ ᴇʏᴇꜱ
ɪ ꜰᴇʟʟ ᴄᴏᴍꜰᴏʀᴛᴀʙʟᴇ ɪɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴇᴍʙʀᴀᴄᴇ

ᴅɪᴅɴ'ᴛ ʟᴀꜱᴛ ʟᴏɴɢ
ɪ ʟᴇꜰᴛ
ɪ ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ ꜱᴛᴀʏ
ᴡᴏɴᴅᴇʀ ɪꜰ ɪ ᴅɪᴅ
ᴄʟᴏꜱᴇʀ ᴀɴᴅ ᴄʟᴏꜱᴇʀ

ɪ ᴡɪꜱʜ ɪ ʜᴇʟᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄʟᴏꜱᴇʀ

ꜰᴀʀ ᴀᴡᴀʏ

ɪ'ᴍ ᴇʀᴀꜱɪɴɢ ᴏᴜʀ ᴍᴇᴍᴏʀɪᴇꜱ

sǝıɹoɯǝɯ ɹno ɓuısɐɹǝ ɯ,I

ʎɐʍɐ ɹɐɟ
Dec 2019 · 513
tails
eileen Dec 2019
all my mistakes
catch up to me

none have helped

pushing me further down
underwater

breathing loud

I hear the sounds

far away

distant

if I swim down

I'll find the perfect place
Dec 2019 · 100
rodent
eileen Dec 2019
trap me inside your words
your manipulation worked

happiness is green
you see it in paper
receiving
it only deceives

let me go
you know well
there's no one here

let me go
I want nothing that is yours
don't take what's mine

you lie
lie
lie

drink up
its poison
we will be fine

I swallow all the hate I have

I'm your little rat
hiding in the dark

scared to leave
waiting to starve
I'll never get far
Dec 2019 · 93
winter solstice
eileen Dec 2019
back to the time
you were mine

we're in the winter snow
I melt away
you don't know

we're like a winter rose
frail
weak
still grows

we fell away like the winter moon
hiding behind the cotton clouds
I was nowhere to be found

we can try to change
I'll always be the same

I'll come to you like winter snow
I see you grow as a winter rose
Dec 2019 · 153
let me in
eileen Dec 2019
I don't deserve good things

don't go into a hurricane for me

I'm not worth saving

even if our love rots me inside

it's all I have

I will stay by your side until you **** me

I will stay until I go insane

you made me weak

I was a good person

now decomposing from the inside

everything is the same

where is the hope

I only see the conflict

let me in

I locked myself inside

it's better this way
Dec 2019 · 264
let me out
eileen Dec 2019
line's I can't erase
sleep on it
tomorrow is your day

I know what you're up to
I have to disappoint you
there's a way for me to move on

If it wasn't so hard to love you
we could cross this plane
I tried holding you close

let me in
all I needed was you
take the key

don't lock me inside
I won't be sorry if you leave
I won't be sorry when I go

you'll never have my heart
until you let me go
Dec 2019 · 246
roses in the winter
eileen Dec 2019
she tells me her secrets
I tell her mine

she wants me
she wants me

I'm not who she thinks I am

someone else
can love her better

wishing stars
afraid of heights

she's the perfect dream
I don't want to wake up now

I want her
but not like this
Dec 2019 · 175
God's Play
eileen Dec 2019
in the eyes of God
I'm transparent
I've lied
twist and turn
he knows
in his eyes I will suffer
more and more
let me burn
I won't fall to my knees
in his eyes
he wants me to beg
he holds my shadow
haunting me
things fall in my sleep
in the eyes of god
I'll break into pieces
calling for mercy
everything I'm not
I am in the eyes of god
Dec 2019 · 239
forever sixteen
eileen Dec 2019
she's 16
says there's something in the rain
tumbling down into the drain
I find her hidden dreams

she's sixteen
there's something in the way she says
feel the wind
calling out my name
I found her in the winter snow

she's sixteen
dead flowers are her favorite
she was only visiting

sweet child
don't speak
hideaway
death is in everything
Dec 2019 · 193
when will I die?
eileen Dec 2019
quiet down
hideaway
no one likes to talk about death
10w
Dec 2019 · 143
ineffable
eileen Dec 2019
look around the sounds
then I decompose I grow
come into my world

it's good and evil
we know everything is death  
it's us we're stardust

celestial bodies
everything is life and death
I know how you feel
haiku
Dec 2019 · 142
slow dance
eileen Dec 2019
you don't put a label

can't we dance
like everyone else

can't I hold your hand
without thinking it would be wrong

should I stay
or should I stay away

do you want me to close the door
or step inside

you don't put a label
I'm losing my mind

am I wrong
do I have it upside down
are you thinking something else

I hate feeling in-between
you don't pull me closer
I hope we don't grow further apart than this
Dec 2019 · 163
you have a lot to learn
eileen Dec 2019
you're like the moon I'll never wake up to

you hesitate
come inside my dreams
I can't wait forever boy

I'll be leaving soon
tell me you like me too

if you're playing around
quit with all the games

I'm trying to give you my brain
come into my dreams

you'll be relieved
I always find you

I can't wait forever boy

I'm the sun you'll never sleep to
Dec 2019 · 402
1166
eileen Dec 2019
eat my words
let them tear you apart

sleep with my words
haunting you into a nightmare

I will wake you up

nothing but me
there's no one but me
Dec 2019 · 246
you're in my tomorrow's
eileen Dec 2019
I was flustered at the way you stared at me

you don't go away
not in my dreams

you stand so close
you can't even see

put my favorite song
dedicated to me

you had so many chances
you never proved anything

I took the words out of your mouth
guess you'll never know what I expected

my expectations are low for you
you dug yourself a hole

I will always come back
even if you don't

so many opportunities
it doesn't go through me

cross my heart
hope it breaks

I want all the love I have for you to go away
Dec 2019 · 213
wishing on a scar
eileen Dec 2019
I was hoping
it'd stay

don't fade away
can I do it again
Dec 2019 · 139
taking care
eileen Dec 2019
when it's cold
I hope you're keeping warm

when it rains
I hope you catch a raindrop

if it's dark
reach towards the light you can find

when you miss me
I hope the feeling fades away

I won't see you again
Dec 2019 · 218
december wind
eileen Dec 2019
can I tell you
llıʍ I

all the good
ɓuoɹʍ os ǝɹ,noʎ

you try
ǝıl sʎɐʍlɐ noʎ

I can go on
ɓuol ɹoɟ ʇou

we're so close
uıɐɓɐ sǝʌlǝsɹno ɓuıɔuɐʇsıp
Dec 2019 · 534
the gravity of a lie
eileen Dec 2019
I've seen sides of you
I wish I could erase

can I tell you
it's hard to love you

I wish I could forget
all the bad things you do

behind closed doors
after everyone is gone

I see everyone take off their mask
I still keep mine on

I'm terrified
I know too much

kings
slowly rot into monsters

queens perfume themselves with
secrets and defeat

their lies are heavy
I watch them fall through the earth
Dec 2019 · 352
moon dreams
eileen Dec 2019
I'm waiting for someone to listen
I don't think no one is

feels empty not having anyone on your side

I live in my daydreams
where someone does

I will find the right words
not having someone who understands is torture

days
I wait for nights
to hug the moon close
I feel warmer inside moonlight
Dec 2019 · 388
the joker
eileen Dec 2019
I crawl into my head
you make the ugliest comments
there goes my self-esteem

you pull on my strings
left leg
twist my arms
you make me fall over and over again

are you better than me
I'm a puppet

tell me everything
I don't want to hear

I'll walk backwards

you're controlling

I'm fighting off
pulling on these strings

there goes my last bit of sanity
spiraling down into the darkness

you can pull my limbs apart
you can pick at my skin

doesn't change
your transparency

it's all your fault
Dec 2019 · 283
_ _ _ _ _ _ I love you
eileen Dec 2019
is that the truth

when times are rough
I pull you up

I comfort you
out of sympathy

I can't feel anything for you

you pushed me down
you always get my hopes high

lie to me
that's all you ever do for me

you're that bad influence
the hidden poison

I'll never know
if it's the truth
Dec 2019 · 130
unforgiving
eileen Dec 2019
there are things I can't forgive myself for

I carry the shame

sleep
wake up
I want to throw up my mistakes

If I were a different person
I wouldn't let this happen

I won't forgive myself

that's how I choose to live
eileen Dec 2019
I am honored
to hear all your deepest secrets

I'm sorry
I don't want to hear you at all anymore

your secrets cut through my skin
I wonder if I'll ever tell you mine
Dec 2019 · 346
ʍouʞ I llɐ
eileen Dec 2019
your love is a poison
||||||||
all I know is you
10w
Dec 2019 · 219
make all mistakes
eileen Dec 2019
It's the only way

looking somewhere else
I can't ever see ahead

I'm addicted to medicine
so much can harm me

there's nothing left to lose
I lost everything I found

I made a mistake
losing my mind

you were my star
you burned me off

I can't see a thing
you were my star

orbiting around me
I will never be free

so much medicine
will heal me
Dec 2019 · 213
friend of mine
eileen Dec 2019
sʜᴇ ʜᴜʀᴛs ᴍᴇ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ sᴍᴀʟʟᴇsᴛ ᴡᴀʏs
ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜᴇ sʜᴏʀᴛᴇsᴛ ᴡᴏʀᴅs
sʜᴇ ᴄᴜᴛs ᴍᴇ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴀ ᴘᴀᴘᴇʀᴄᴜᴛ
ɪ ᴄᴏʟʟᴇᴄᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ʙʟᴏᴏᴅ
sʜᴇ ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ sᴇᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴀᴍᴀɢᴇ
sᴏ ᴍᴀɴʏ ᴛɪᴍᴇs sʜᴇ ᴅᴇsᴛʀᴏʏᴇᴅ ᴍᴇ

ᴡɪʟʟ ɪ ʜᴀᴛᴇ ʏᴏᴜ fᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇsᴛ ᴏf ᴍʏ ʟɪfᴇ

ᴄᴀɴ ɪ ʟᴇᴀʀɴ ᴛᴏ fᴏʀɢɪᴠᴇ
ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ ɪ ᴇᴠᴇʀ ʟᴇᴛ ɢᴏ

ɪ'ᴅ fᴏʀɢᴇᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ᴍᴏᴠᴇ ᴏɴ

ʏᴏᴜ ᴛɪᴇᴅ ʏᴏᴜʀsᴇʟf ᴀʀᴏᴜɴᴅ ᴍᴇ
ᴄᴜᴛᴛɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ᴏff ᴀɢᴀɪɴ
ᴄᴜᴛᴛɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ᴏᴜᴛ

ᴀʟʟ ɪ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ɪs ɪ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ɪᴛ ᴡʜᴇɴ ɪ ʜᴜʀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛᴏᴏ
ʇı ǝʌol I sı ʍouʞ I llɐ
Dec 2019 · 197
I hate boys
eileen Dec 2019
I once liked a boy
he killed me
bore me to death
Dec 2019 · 129
doesn't feel like december
eileen Dec 2019
I hate December

I hate that I miss you more than I miss myself

I'd rather lose myself again
than be away from you

I hate this December
winter where are you
the warmest nights feel empty without you

It hurts to miss you alone
It hurts more to miss you close
Dec 2019 · 257
coldest moon
eileen Dec 2019
come alive

this is our last life

you meet me halfway

standing at the end

I count all my steps

I forget where I'm walking to

who did I talk to

was I with you yesterday

did you come to me

where did I go

I lose my head

left in the past

I'm staring behind me

time melts around me

I don't where I'll go

leaving dead

this must be my first life
Dec 2019 · 114
green waves
eileen Dec 2019
there is a girl
who combs her hair
with grace

I've never seen her hurt anyone
but herself

she liked painting
now she likes sleeping

I thought the girl was shallow
the girl is an ocean
whenever I touch her I can't reach the end

I've heard her cry
I hear her sing

she loves everyone
but herself

I know that girl
I miss her sometimes
Nov 2019 · 219
(٥↼_↼)
eileen Nov 2019
I slept to the sound of your voice

I dreamed I said hello
hoping dreams come true
Nov 2019 · 307
the last crown
eileen Nov 2019
out and about
sometimes the people we love the most
hurt us until we're left broken

off and high
feelings blue
I look for places that accept my head
I'm in between two cultures
I can't speak with two tongues

we all have the same colored blood
we all breathe through our lungs
someone sits upon a throne thinking they deserve it more than me

someday
I will find the courage to say hello
if not in a dream first
Nov 2019 · 187
a million gifts
eileen Nov 2019
so materialistic
I wish you'd find other ways to love me
Nov 2019 · 518
stealing obsession
eileen Nov 2019
you stole something of mine
I want it back

I want it back
I want it back
I want it back
I want it back
I want it back
I want it back
I want it back
I want it back
I want it back
I want it back
I want it back
I want it back
I want it back
I want it back
I want it back
I want it back
I want it back
I want it back

can you give it back
do I have to take it

where did you hide it
I'll look around

I want it back
I want it back
I want it back
I want it back
I want it back
I want it back
I want it back
I want it back
I want it back

why do you take things
they're not yours
not yours

I want it back
I want it back
I want it back
I want it back
I want it back

it's not yours

I'm too nice for this
Nov 2019 · 252
hey poetry
eileen Nov 2019
hey poetry
why do you follow me

obsessed with me
you take control

poetic dreams

I write everything I see

sometimes I see a lie

the truth is blind

hey poetry

why
are you so close to me

stop following me

let me breathe
find a moment to speak
Nov 2019 · 223
falling balloons
eileen Nov 2019
come and find me

you never look for me

why are you hiding

you make me heartless

these feelings bother me

come and see me

she's not looking

it's so right

feels wrong
Nov 2019 · 324
eres lo azul
eileen Nov 2019
tú con la camisa azul

aunque te extraño no te quiero ver

estoy triste
tengo que dejarte
crecer

cierro mis ojos
no te quiero ver

duele pensar en ti
Nov 2019 · 284
you once called me mary
eileen Nov 2019
easily
you break me
and I fall
easily
I became everything you wanted
until I was not

I am the mother of God
I will plant nightmares in your reflections
I showed you all there is it to love, now I must take it all away
eileen Nov 2019
I embrace all your
s i n s
will you do the s̲a̲m̲e̲
10w
Nov 2019 · 123
I love boys
eileen Nov 2019
boys are so easy
take it or leave it kinda thing
he says she's pretty so she'll fall to her knees
but she craves the taste of power
she hates her ribs
Adam was a liar
she was looking for power
boys are easy
sensitive beings
they fall easily
submit
they all submit to their greatest desires
fall of man
savor it
sin
Nov 2019 · 99
His lost cigarette
eileen Nov 2019
cigarettes and beer
is that how you smell

you're dating a girl
looks so much like me

unfortunately
I'm prettier
so it seems

If i stare at your cigarette long enough
will it go up in flames

if I stare at you long enough
will you know what I'm thinking

walking away
turning away
looking away

I'm far away from you in so many ways

I don't like the chase
I don't like the run

I'll sit here
watch you with somebody else
Nov 2019 · 196
find the exit sign soon
eileen Nov 2019
you love me in my dreams

I knew it wasn't true

you stood tall
I won't forget

I didn't trust you in my dream

I try to escape
the feelings of the seeing you again

your name echos in my dreams
it's been four years

you still exist in my dreams
Nov 2019 · 91
lets meet again
eileen Nov 2019
I miss you
on my happiest days
Nov 2019 · 423
ungrateful wretch
eileen Nov 2019
The perfect Christian knight
drinks all night
he lies to his wife

The perfect knight
drinks around noon
sleeps all afternoon

I know his daughter
his daughter doesn't know him
I know the real him

funny
so

I can ruin his life
with the snap of my fingers

the perfect Christian knight
he won't run far
I'm high off


he stole the crown
I'll cut off his head
if he thinks he can have it all again
Nov 2019 · 97
walking around you
eileen Nov 2019
you
sleep early

waiting for the morning
to see you leave

can't hear your footsteps
from here

I want to bring you near

waiting for you to notice me
is it your vision
can you not see
well

I guess not everyone knows dark the well

counting the shadows
counting the sounds
picking apart all the ways I can show myself

you're gone
I don't know what time you leave
can I have a head start

can I be your alarm

what if you look back for a minute
see that there's someone close by waiting

I sleep in the day
sleep is not my friend

you know things
I don't speak of

even if it's just for a moment
a piece of your voice
a flash of your face
will help me daydream of you all day
Nov 2019 · 485
rodillas
eileen Nov 2019
mujer
mujer
como me ves
te quiero aqui
en tus ojos
vamos
al pasado
estabas conmigo
recgonize me
outside
find me in all of your reflections
eres todo lo que quiero
mujer
mirame
eres una flor
te veo en todos mi reflejos
immortal
en las estrellas
y el sol
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