Mom woke me up this morning, asking me what's wrong. I turned away and she started sobbing. Not because of work, financial issues, stress or anything. But because she saw my fresh scars as I was sleeping.

I want someone to walk into my life and save me from drowning. Because honestly I don't know how to swim.

When they bring you to therapies, you know what that means?
They think you're crazy.

I see a kite flying, up high in the sky. I'm laying on my mom's lap, she's stroking my hair. She's crying. I'm confused. The sky is getting brighter. It was so dark before this. The next thing I know, I'm covered with a white sheet.

Your smile is the only thing I have to feel alive. You're funny, caring, amazing and perfect in my eyes. Oh god how I wish you were mine.

If you're lucky enough, shut up, look around, and appreciate.

Those words were the worst thing I've heard in a very long time. I guess hurting is better than feeling nothing.

They said I'm crazy, they saw blood all over me. Metallic and thick. I wanted to run, but they wont let me. Then, I feel someone constraining me. She told me she'll bring me somewhere that is not dark, not cold, she told me I'll be safe, and protected. So I followed her.

Tears welling,
Scars swelling,
Mind's yelling,
But can't express anything.

I can't stay clean any longer.

Never afraid of dying. Just afraid I haven't been alive enough.