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 Mar 2013 Mr Bigglesworth
st64
Lost in reverie
Of being with you
So far and yet, so close
No good wishing for what can't.

Hope in words
To redeem found spark
Never assume, always ask
Can't ever know what reward awaits.

So, lark some more
By window ajar, lovebirds
Flutter onward with affection
Whose depth can be but felt in song.



Star Toucher,  22 March 2013
To anyone who's ever felt the futility of a hopeless situation...and yet still hopes, in spite of it!
I cannot suppress the thought any longer.
That maybe, just maybe,
It is my own fault that
He has changed so.

Long gone is the boy
With the sweet blue eyes
With the sunflower yellow centers

Who would do anything
Anything
To spend a moment staring into mine.

Long gone is the boy
Who could transform from
Fits of anger, questioning
"Why do you let them treat you that way?"

To fits of tears
"The soap here smells like you and I miss you."
In an instant.

His carefully planned words resonating in my mind,
Then and now.

I do not know where this boy has gone.
Perhaps he was lost in the chaos of last July
When the sun had set
And our dismal future was left unsettled.

And he could not use his ever powerful words,
To convince me to stay.

Because all that remains of him
Is smoke and mirrors.
But mostly just smoke.
And a lot of lies.

And now he will do anything
Anything
To avoid my cold grey eyes.

We've both been left fighting for dominance,
Over who has it worse now.
Neither acknowledging the reality
That we have broken each other.
 Mar 2013 Mr Bigglesworth
Harlow
Walking down the sidewalk of my suburban neighborhood
Littered with wild flowers clumsily drifting across our path
A path beaten down by the hurtful feet of children at play
Flowers struck down from the bicycles speeding past

Until one day, one particularly flower caught my eye
Red, full, leaning deliriously into my field of vision
I plucked the top from it's green stem and pressed it to my lips
Sweet, soft, and fragrant I traced my eyes, cheeks, and lips with it

Then stuffed it in my shirt, hard, against my chest
So when my mother took my clothes off to bathe me it fell on the floor
And I screamed and cried and picked the crumbled petals from the bathroom rug
Raced to my bedroom, **** naked, to put it somewhere safe

And every morning I'd stuff the wilted petals and stale sepal down into my pockets
Until finally there was nothing left but the dust of a once beautiful flower
Heartbroken, that is the day I realized beauty is to be admired, not suffocated
But realization and affirmation are too very different things
 Mar 2013 Mr Bigglesworth
Harlow
And if your chest is warm then I envy your soul - to rest in such a safe and cavernous hole - and if your hands aren't ice cold then I envy the woman who gets to press her lips to your palms because mine like to chap and all too often my teeth tease my tongue, but the taste of blood is truly an acquired one. And sometimes I touch my fingers to my throat just to feel if there's a pulse - and most of the time there's not - but that doesn't mean I'm not living.

Because these are the days of the dead.

The dead who walk among us with blood and gasoline coursing through their veins and an inferno in their heart that you could not put out with a dozen of your big, red, fire trucks.
three men standing in a snow-covered field
trying to recapture their youth
these men standing in this snow covered field
haven't a clue what to do

As boys, they owned this domain
It was their land to tame
It was magical, and theirs for the taking

They were crazy, wild, and free
They could not possibly be
the gents who stand here freezing and shaking

Three men standing in a snow covered field
quietly staring in space
These men standing in this snow covered field
they try to remember this place

They indiscriminately shift
they just don't know what's different
about this scene that belongs to their past

they used to slip and slide on the ice
They never thought twice
of these things that were not meant to last

Three men standing in a snow covered field
look at each other and smile
These men standing in this snow covered field
are suddenly kids for awhile
One day, I asked a chef
how he made his food taste
so delicious

He said to me
"It's simple.  I carefully
mix spices with meats,
fruits, and vegetables,
then I combine them
in a particular order,
during which I apply
heat at certain times
and temperatures."

I was awestruck.

Then I asked a painter
how she created such
beautfiful images

She said to me
"It's simple.  I mix certain
colors together, then I place
those colors on specific spots
on the canvas in a particular
order using a various number
of stroke techniques."

I was amazed

Finally, I asked a writer
how he wrote such beautiful
and inspiring lines

He paused and looked far off
into the distance, contemplating
what wise advice to impart to me



Then he took a hit off his ****

"I dunno, I guess I just
write, like, how I feel
and stuff..."

"Totally", I replied, as I bit into a ham sandwich
On those days
   when my head is full
                of doubt
              of questions
            of frustrations
       of all the things that
  could go wrong in my life

I'll find her waiting for me
and I'll lay my head across her chest
and be greeted by
      a steady heartbeat
       comfortable arms
         soothing voice
            soft hands
                peace

I can't be strong every day
Sometimes I break
It's only inevitable

That's why I need her

It goes deeper than the warmth of her skin
It goes deeper than the lust for passion

I need her love to flush the toxins
I need her love to cleanse my soul
I need her love to refill me
For I've been running on empty for far too long

She's not there when I open the door

I push away the pain of disappointment

as I try to remain strong for another day
I’m lost in shadows of yesterday
with an infinite wondering of tomorrow
I’m truly lost in a world of tomorrows.
Pondering if the shadows will follow?
~~

My dreams are where I roam safely
for that is where I’m truly free
living for tomorrow
yearning for what may truly be.
~
~

How can one go on?      
When the shadows are so fearful
while tomorrows seem so sinister.
How can I flee the memories of yesterday?
~~

Unless I intend
to sleep for eternity;
Then what’s the point?
Tis the only resolution that remains
foreseen …
~
~

I must escape the silhouette of my heart!
A Poem by KimLove "The Beautiful Butterfly"
"Trying to shake the shadows yesterday or maybe learning to embrace them"
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