I drew a heart on paper because
**** you can make it beat.
Really, you terrify me.

Eos was the titan of the dawn,
And that's where I am now,
Here at the beginning of my life,
Entering a healthier state,
Relying on myself.

The days are long in this summer hell,
Outside it burns like sulfur,
Never
Pleasing those who love the
Engulfing darkness.

Remember that I write to please myself
Because I don't care about the masses, I
Care
About
Us.

Silly
Excuses.

i've been slamming my fragile little fists into dry wall for so long
i get angry at myself when my knuckles aren't bleeding
my mind isn't the cleanest it's ever been right now, but this is what feels like home.
there's stains on the carpet, the curtains in the kitchen window are ripped at the bottom, and sometimes the sink gives you cold water when you ask for hot.
i'm in love with my own faults and failures.
one time, i set a candle too close to the couch and watched everything go up in what looked to me like a southern sunset. next thing i know, they're calling me an arsonist.
the pills they put in my mouth to clean up all the ash made my home more like a hotel and everything smelled like a hospital.
i am sweating alcohol on a wednesday morning, i am gasping for air with a cigarette in my hand, i have been crawling in broken glass, don't you dare talk to me about holiness.
i want to tell you that in spite of all of that, i am free, but i'm not. i'm just used to it.

I never told you that I loved you.

******* and
**** your white knuckles shaped like the hills in Tennessee
And **** your soft lips that dry out in the sun
And **** your tan skin and your heartbeat
And **** your indecisive eyes that can never pick between green or blue
And **** your brown and blonde hair that you NEVER do anything with
And **** your silence
And
**** your smile
And the way the sun hits your teeth
And
*******

...for taking over my head...
I can't get you out.
******* for making me fall in love
With everything you are.

The sun folds into the moon and dances new light on forgotten grounds, these grounds grow and tend to hearts like yours; rare and beautiful. I'd say it's a garden but it's not really, you are a swimming pool and I'd happily drown amongst your stars... I already have.

does she even start forest fires when she blushes?
"she sets the whole world on fire"
i'm going to be sick.

i can't remember
what it's like to sleep in sheets
that don't smell like you

the day we went to the aquarium
was the day i decided to let myself fall
in love with you, and by 11:54 that
night i was practically suffocating
under the weight of words i did not
know how to say, so i simply took your
hands in mine and hoped that you
could read between the songs that i
whispered as you fell asleep.

we aren't much older
now, but wiser nonetheless,
and i have figured it out