He asked
"Why do you continue to be sad?"

Considering that for a moment

I replied
*"Because being sad is the only thing I'm good at"

Seven billion strong
and each one of us
alone in our thoughts.

r ~ 3Mar14

We wear X's on our hands
Right below our middle fingers
That tap in sync with the music
Like a pen that bruises paper.

I’m up before the sun most days

Drinking instant coffee and debating with myself

I write out all my thoughts and no conclusions come to mind

The phone rings off the hook but no one calls

I leave the house but never go outside

And every wall remembers what I’ve done behind fresh paint

No grounds for or from

I sleep before the dawn, between the lines

I've been drinking about you baby
trying to drown you out of my head
but the poison makes you stronger instead

I've been smoking about you baby
inhaling you into my lungs
i miss the feeling of touching each others tongues

I've been pill popping about you lately
to make me feel more numb
the fact that i still need you is really pretty dumb

i.
no matter what your teachers
may tell you, your grades are not a
measure of how smart you are, that
has more to do with how you handle your
heart, and i have never seen anyone love
more fiercely or smart than you.  

ii.
i have let boys touch me just because
i was scared to lose them; don't let them
lay a hand on you without you asking
them to, you are worth more than that.

iii.
people will walk away, but you've known
that already.  keep your chin up so that when
they turn back one last time, they know that
you don't need them.
you don't need them.

iv.
i hope you find somebody that holds your
hands, even when you're nervous and
they start to sweat.  if they pull away,
you come find me and i swear,
i won't let go.

i dont want to wake up anymore
i just dont