I step silently
All sounds kept inside
My very breath I have to hide
The tread spinning round
"YOU SOUND LIKE A HORSE"
"YOUR HURTING THE FLOORS"
I sigh and try my best not to cry
I am working so ******* my health
All he sees is the tv and only hears my noise
"HOW MUCH LONGER YOU GONNA BE ON THERE?"
"2 1/2 more minutes and you could have said CONGRATULATIONS ON SELF CARE"
But no that would be FAIR
You do not play fair
SO I am not ALLOWED to use my treadmill now?
I am a horse and what the **** are you the plow?
MY work for you is DONE
I will walk away
Leave you spun
You say I sound like a horse
That I walk hard
It bothers you so much..
Hear me walk away..cause this time
I walk HARD
Listen closely
This winning horse
Just left your stall
For a new course

The leash gets shorter
The mileage checked
Eight bucks for gas this pay check
Yet you will ask me to drive to get many things
You have given me a sixty miles for 2 week string
I decline
My senses awaken
I start packing my stuff again and this time without shaking
8 bucks for gas won't get me out of hell
But it sure does make me want to scream
I will not dwell
No shouts to be heard
You gave me 8 bucks for gas you ******* ****
Do not ask me to pick up your dinners
Or expect me to be sitting here waiting for NOTHING
While you continue to ignore me
I will do my work and get my cheddar pay
But to expect me to stay here -just no way
You may have given me 8 bucks for gas
Checked my mileage, set my range
But you forgot my pocket full of change
I will go where ever I want to
Without any prompt from you
Get your own ******* dinner
Cause both my motor cycles are gas ******* winners
You stare at my car in the drive way
Watch that 8 bucks in gas sit all day
For the next 2 weeks while I go play
I got more wheels than that **** car
2 bucks in my scooter takes me pretty far
So dust gather on my windshield
Let the gas you gave me not be used
Leashes are for animals
To me that is abuse
Get over it
Cut me lose

You can say whatever you wish
That does not translate to this fish
The waves around me do
I feel the waves and understand them well
They tell me a whole lot about you
The energy never lies
You tell me I am important to you
I know that much is true
Your right I want nothing from you
Just your time, space to unwind
But you have to know energy does not lie
I feel the energy we share
It flows freely without a care
Til our head trips light some flairs
We get lost and inside our cares
We talk it out, share our ****
Because the energy does not lie
We are indeed linked, we are very alike
This is true
And the deal is I feel energy transmitted by you
You can't hide, because I feel you
Energy does not lie
So glad we let the freak side fly
Because energy does not lie
; )

You make me cry
help me cry let us not be misunderstood
I get that it is good
You think its great
Everyone else thinks it is a bad thing
I think they are emotionally LAZY
Avoiding Life' STING
For six months I could not shed a tear
Not over anything
Now I cry whenever I think of what I fear
I let it out, sometimes shout
I am not running right now from my own frown
I know I must rain, free my soul
You poke at me playing a very important role
Just cause you make me cry does not mean I want you gone
on the contrary, you ring true
Call me on my **** Moth
You make me cry
With you that is safe to do
For that I thank you
*Butterfly

Not sure now if I should have opened my eyes
Maybe I should have opened them more and really taken you in
But if I had done that your images would make me sin
I still cannot handle even a glimpse
When I see you there I feel sorrow
I did not know it would be gone so fast my friend
I did not know there would be no tomorrow

I do not like that I want you like that
Left with a few feelings I have to combat
I understand our paths

But I did not save enough memories to live on'
That is what I get for living in the moment
Less to take away, to hold-falsely mold perhaps
In limbo those feelings be
Not saved, not let go
Just lived with thee

He pulls the hair gently from her face and out of her mouth
"You have a beautiful silhouette I wish you could see yourself."

She smiles and opens up her eyes and smiles
"You have great shadows with that big lamp outside shining in your womb"

"You make me want to open my eyes moth"
"It is raining outside" he says
"No that is tap dancing butterflies on the roof" the butterfly says
He laughs
The moth and butterfly understand each other well.
Different breeds but have common energies
**
Each of us is a catalyst and we have things to teach each other
Take time to listen to please
Lessons flutter round you all the time
Moth & Butterfly
show themselves to remind
Life is short we only have so much time

Losing the voice that just came back alive
Stuck between a slide show of memories
and trying to forget
I do slide back and forth
I want to slide right back into that show
feel all the warmth and open my eyes
Back to closed, as are my thighs
Losing that voice makes me cry
The best part of me just died

I guess that is one gain
Worry is not in this frame
What will be will be
But will the memories remain?
Then worry enters suddenly
Will I push them out to avoid pain?
Will I never remember what is was like again?
My voice was just starting to come alive
Self expression just took a horrible ******* dive
Oh did it? Hell no you *******!
Do not ******* worry
I will run away and live in my cocoon
But that self expression that began to bloom...
You took that away too soon

If you call me a multi-personality person again
I will remind you I am a multi faceted gem
Laugh at you cause you know I am right
Won't stop you from poking so light
You like me so stop the fight
This personality blooms and fills up the room
You enjoy it and you know it
Go ahead it is ok to show it
But call me multi personality again
I will come up with a sweet ebil plan
And I might have to drug you again
Fill your head with the Karen..again
Watch your head spin
while I grin
and laugh at you
you crazy..I like you
You know how to get a rise out of me
dat fun, so easy
But call me that again and I will pounce and pretend
Your cats are my friends
and we will gang up on you
use you as a scratching tool...

Life in Breath
Changing pace
Taking flight
Sounds emerge
Sometimes fire

Relief in sighs
Sounds of cries
panic, fear, disgraces and despair
All things within our breath
things that do not always show on our faces

Even the sounds of little deaths
Within our breath
All flow releases
Surrender can happen in the release of one breath

Growls, groans, moans and snarls
Huffs and pants, ahhh & squeals
Laughs, giggles, mmmms
Sounds that show what appeals
Desires surely lives within our breath

Breath tells all as I sigh and hum a yum
Breathing is not so calm
Sometimes it is like a song
Excitement hits
Breath gets quick
I meow, I CHA
I make sounds of skin touching Awe
Tickles cause little skips
a gasp for air as I think of you grabbing my hips

All these things
do not compare to a kiss
that..which charges and changes
and shares a breath
that is when whimpering comes out with a little death

Giant merry go round
Greek food
My choice of movies
Good attitude!
Great manners
Funny wit
The right type of herbs
lets smoke that ****!
7 foot Zombie with size 18 foot
Your fun and make me smile and order me healthy food
You check the reviews before taking me anywhere
Your not scared of my pink hair ; )
I like the way you show you care
So keep on growing your green children
I am turning into one of them
If I smoke any more I will grow a stem
; )

So many things have happen
I should have cried
i should have cried
So many days filled with sadness
So many days with hurt
But I cried not one of them
I was left
i was hurt
I am walking the divorce road curve
I am lost for so many reasons
and despite this past season
I have not cried
Not for him, not for me
not for the deaths happening around me
But today I cried
out of relief
but somehow I feel as if this cry is just a thief
and another follows and it will be deep
of all the days
today I cry

Clench in the hand not
Why would it be different for him
He is the same as I
We of strong Will
We must fly
Why then I, act as if I could possibly capture
such a creature as I?
Why act a fool, cannot seem to help myself
I, babble like a fool and wish for more too
But fool am I as my number passed by without the use of it
I want so bad I clenched my hand trying to capture it
He fly away without delay and I thought for sure I blew it
But I cannot forget just what it is that I want and was drawn to
Happens to be quite like me and flutters away
In dismay I was left to play and I am still quite missing my bb
I realize today I've acted in ways that would make a butterfly run
as I had begun to close my hand and try to capture it
As hard as it is so me to think before I react this all is a small task
to let you land peacefully on an open and that will not try again to close on you~

My lips remain unkissed
As does my bliss
Picky, most dismissed
These lips remain unkissed
My own doing of course
I know this
I will know when I feel it
Til then these lips remain unkissed
I have let no one in
Waiting for that buzz again
The connection within
That sighs roll in
Emotional connections begin
Until then my lips remain unkissed

Cookies are powerful things.
Spun of sugar and creams
Passions and dreams
Say yes to the cookie    
I offered t bake them for you
bait - sweet minty chew
Say YES to the cookie
You know I will bring it by
leave the door open like before
I can find you on either floor
Let me know if we need milk
But you must say yes to the cookies
Cause the  Dragon will give you hella munchies!
So please ..say yes to the cookies wink

Things come and go in a dance
Feelings rise
Sometimes new, sometimes very old
I dance them out-
My feelings get to play
Harmful if I hold much like this butterfly
So I let my feelings out and I let the fly!
Feelings have wings - they must fly
Never tucked away, yet never die
Specially if they step out within my day
I flow with what feelings are bestowed upon me
Why throw them away?
Why tuck them away only to forget the lesson life has for me to get?
   That is why we are living is it not my friend?
Movement leads the WAY
ENERGY FOLLOWS
New movements pop out with old feelings I let shout
I wonder where is this from..
I suddenly feel like I am dancing with Johnny Clegg and Savuka~
My hands go up in the air and make new shapes
As I dance around the globe
Literally on my floor is a vivid globe for witch I beg for guidance
I smile, I dance..and give the Universe a fair ******* chance
To give me what I am asking for
A new place to bloom and self explore
I have packed my ships
I have my own sail~
It is time to use it
Find a new shore
; )

I let go
I say yes
I give up the hold I have on keeping this mess
Universe take my plea
I will accept the new things you offer to me~
I say yes, I fought you-I confess
I did not listen, fighting to fix this love in any way
I tried to hard to make this place RIGHT
It is now time to give up this fruitless fight
I open, I flow
I let go of the fear
I am ok with what I know is very near
I pack my things, knowing it will be alright
I feel a new bounce in my dance
I breath with ease in this circumstance
I cheer
Universe give me more
I smile and open my doors
; )

Your sweat is still on my back
Felt every drop hit me
Cold sweat droplets hitting hot skin
Sweaty bodies pressing together
The way you grabbed my arms
Pulled my hair
GRRRr Hhh
The ease at which we shared
Helped me unwind...
comes to mind quite frequently
     You tease
A Tigress, a cougar, a wild cat yes
But a ***** cat you said I was not!?
But I think you found out
There is a ***** cat that can be brought out
I am standing here now and I growl at you
and now you know it is not something I say
but something I do!

*
I hope my sounds ring in your ears..you mmm GGGRRRRRRR
and whatever else you heard!!

I am amazed at your view
You see nothing that is right in front of you
They reach out but you refuse
Your kids, your wife, anything new
How many marriages does this make for you?
You may have another before your through
Because you refuse to change your attitude
Your point of view, open up a feeling or two? NO

Once upon a time I had faith in you
But that is no longer true
All that grows is my disappointment in you
To refuse to change your bubble boy views

Once upon a time I wrote a term paper called
"The Bubble theory of Personality"
Every breaking bubble adds to our understanding
All the airs come together and become one
Nothing separate left unsung
It was all about incorporating all that one is

But your bubble refuses to fuse
You will not break down and be yourself
Instead your like a glass bubble sitting on a shelf
I cannot get in, you will not come out
Stuck in your bubble will always work for you
I find that very sad and have sympathy for you
But I cannot be in company with such a limited view of the world
I am challenging the Universe to place me somewhere new
Somewhere without bubbles that refuse to pop
A place with sunshine and lollipops
No more of your negativity
No more broken bubble boy who can't show love
I talk to the sky and rise above

It has begun -
that spiral
comes undone
like a ribbon
whipped round in the air
by a hand true and fair
swirling that ribbon all around me
I see your ribbon coming undone
floating freer within my sun
Your darkness sits at bay
as you watch me dance and sway
I have never had so many texts
so many words spun just for me
I am smiling a great deal
with joy and a special glee
My inbox is maxed out
My notifications scream a delightful shout
So many drafts to be erased
I am trying to keep pace
I never had so much spun for me
It is like a sticky sweet jar of Pooh bear honey
yet I glance down once more
wanting more words to explore
..gotta make room for more....

I keep looking down at my phone
cause it has never been so not alone!
I find myself glancing down at it often
The messages just keep poppin
I wouldn't want to make you wait
As I see the screen light up again
I smile as the conversation picks up
I giggle each time I see the screen light
This smile I have
I am not gonna fight
I keep glancing down at my phone
Knowing I am not alone

The sounds of want
Little whimpers
Sighs with shivers
breath with sound
enter submission
giving into desire
sounds on fire
I heard them last night in my sleep
Been so long in a waking state
I thought the sounds that I had made
would never return, no trance state
I missed giving in ..I missed those sounds
For so long they have not been around!
I heard them last night in my sleep...
You woke them up in me

would drive me insane
but make me happy and
entertain
want..
wait..
You do not know why
but you anticipate!
I want you to want me
want..
wait
let it swell
enjoy more n your plate!
Now you sit right there while I dance around you
Please let the scent created already surround you
Say nothing because I won't let you
You sit there and want
That is why right now you wait..

Wake Up Johnny
I want to discuss so much!
We can forget about where we left off
Even though I was touched ****
Oh don't worry this is clean..HAR HAR
You know what I mean
Wake up ..what ever country your in
I can't remember my mind is full, I grin!
Wake up Johnny I need to talk!
I want your company
To hear your unexpected remarks
Your foolery is fun..where ever you are
Bring the SUN..wake him up
I have tales well spun!!!!
Wake up Johnny

Like I would wait for the wake
The strike of midnight for ***** sake
Why wait?  Mondays are GREAT!
I love Mondays, Everyone can go to hell for all I care
Do not disturb me don't you ******* dare
I look forward to ME TIME with anticipation and great desire
Current thoughts are of the dance floor
Mondays music is loud and proud
I dance my with myself
Full disclosure
I will move the furniture and make more room for sure
I need room to growl and leap and kick
ROLL AROUND & SKIP
Mondays are for FREEDOM
SELF EXPRESSION WITH AGGRESSION
Time for Self reflection
**** with my Monday you face only rejection ; )
I want my Monday I want my Monday
I don't wait I didn't wait
The first Monday hour has been great!
yes I said no to the calls..sorry mates
This is MY MONDAY
My Monday
This is mIne