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A shadow cast by sunlight is unmistakable. A shadow cast by the moon is no less a shadow because it is not cast by the sun.  A shadow cast by false light is no less a shadow because it is not cast by the moon. A shadow cast by a moonless sky is no less a shadow because we can barely see it. A shadow is a shadow despite the source of its existence, despite how visible it may be, and despite who or what may or may not be present to witness of its existence. Shadows exist because there is light. Given enough light, however, shadows can shrink, fade, and vanish. Surround an object at every angle with enough light, and the shadows have nowhere to fall; nowhere to exist.

The same is true of darkness. Take away all light and darkness follows, fills, and devours. Shadows are the beginnings of darkness. The more light obscured, the greater the shadow. The greater the shadow, the greater the darkness. The more things set about an individual to obscure light, the more darkness surrounds the individual. But, as long as one can see shadow, one has naught to fear. Where there is shadow there is light. Shadows cannot exist without light. It is when one can no longer see the shadow for the consuming, eternally hungry darkness that one should fear, for the light is there no longer.
I will not fight what feels right
Nor will I silence what inspires
For sometimes we find everything
When we find our desires
None of us will ever know
Just what is meant to be
Without wanting
Without waiting
Without seeing where it leads

If we do't take a chance
Then we don't stand a chance
It's a different kind of crazy, and different kind of sane
It's a welcome form of torture and a pleasant way of pain
It's in tears for joyous reasons and in unexpected smiles
It's in overflowing energies so shared through every while
It's in everything we say and do, in rhythm and in rhyme
It's in every word we've spoken and in every written line
It's in every, "I love you," and embrace when day is through
It is such a treasured pleasure to have found someone like you
Rest your eyes, return to dream, and we'll talk in but a while
May you have a beautiful morning, and awaken with a smile
Sometimes, it is the beauty we see in others
Despite them not seeing it for themselves
That shows us that, sometimes
What some may see as flawed or imperfect
Is nothing less than the rarest of beauty
So many fail to see it in themselves
That they begin to fail to see it on others, as well
For it gets harder to trust and to love
When so many only use their words as masks
Deceiving those who hold true to respect and honor
Until they fake their way in so as to take and abuse
And then tear them down
Oblivious to the pain they have inflicted
Sometimes proud of it
So many times causing such good hearted people
To believe it is they who have done something wrong
Until the loving person they were begins to fade
Retreating in to a shell of depression, darkness, self loathing, and hopelessness
Forgetting or denying how truly beautiful they are
And when someone finally sees in another
The same things they have failed to see in themselves
It opens their eyes
It awakens their soul
As hearts start to mend
Until there is beauty to be seen in the darkness again
Never gone, but merely overlooked and ignored
Once again shining forth in understanding
There is someone, just as they, who knows what it is to suffer
In every doubt, worry, and fear
In wounds self inflicted or forced on by others
Whether physically or emotionally
And they begin to see the beauty in others, again, as well
In honor, truth, sincerity, and respect
Finally realizing for themselves much the same
Despite those who merely pretend so as to take and to harm
Until the darkness isn't so dark
Loneliness isn't so lonely
And even the worst of the pain can bring smiles
Shared between two perfectly imperfect souls
Who have found beauty in the world once again
By finding beauty in each other, and in themselves
When so many still refuse to see the same
Finding beauty in the darkness
Where once they could only find pain
I'm not one of those people who believes that everyone is beautiful.

I see too much evil and hate in them to be able to classify everyone as being even foundationally kind, much less beautiful. Once darkness is seen in a personality, its appearance becomes altered.

Character is that thing that most poetry romanticizes. Because there are poets who will tell you that beauty is in the contents of your soul, and it's all about the little things you do like write notes on the back of photographs or dip fries in milkshakes.
And sometimes those people are right, but sometimes they're wrong too.
The character you have isn't all good. You must know to some degree that you're composed of much more than just the sappy  Disney qualities you've built up in your head. There's a reality to everything. As much as the spark in you that gives you meaning in your life is a foundation to your complexity, you're also formed by doubts, punches thrown at walls, tears that fell for no real reason.

See, those things, no matter what anyone says: They are not beautiful. They're terrifying, they're productions of awful situations and people and mentalities and monsters that can destroy you, and can destroy all the romanticized habits that makes you different and charming.
This is how we get the evil and hateful people.
The spark goes out in them, they get lost in all the doubts and dark thoughts, and all they want to is to feel the beauty again, but they can't. That's the irony -- they want something that they've rejected by going through so much ****.

They need to search through themselves and find the drive again, to get past all the awful things and inner demons. They need to go through old Christmas cards, and draw smiley faces on bathroom stalls. They need to exercise the ability to stop blaming, and resenting. Or else they'll become someone else's reason to lose the spark -- like a disease of desperation. Maybe it won't fix everything to try, not for a long time if the feelings are so strong and bleak, but I know from personal experience that the beauty will come back to everything slowly, even to yourself.

I'm not one of those people who believes that everyone is beautiful. I see too much evil and hate in them to be able to classify everyone as being even foundationally kind, much less beautiful. But the ones who look like they're too far gone, that they're helpless and don't even want help, they want it the most. They're not helpless, or too far gone. They can feel the beauty in themselves again, they just need to see it other things too. And when they do, maybe everyone will be beautiful.

And maybe they'll be kind to one another.
High upon the valley
And low atop the hill
The shadows creep in darkness
As in light they never will
Dancing through the caverns
Or cavorting in the sky
Separated from their masters
As the darkness cuts their ties
Flying freely, sometimes gliding
Coinciding with the night
Never showing in their knowing
Of the coming of the light
Sweetly savoring each moment
Of the freedom they have won
‘Til they’re forced back into servitude
With the coming of the dawn
Trying to hold it together
Watching it all fall apart
The ties I’ve made are severed
It ended before it could start
The roar of the wind as I fall
Can’t drown the screams in my mind
The tragedy is my life’s a disaster
The comedy is I’m alive

I try a little more each day
As my world of pain keeps turning
I force on every smile I fake
While underneath I’m learning
I’ve taken all that I can take
There’s not much left to give
Trying not to lose my mind
I lose my will to live

Memories of better times
Are poisoning my heart
Knowing what my life once was
Is tearing me apart
This is not the end I’ve chosen
The end has chosen me
I don’t need to take my life
My life is taking me

I fail a little more each day
My world of pain keeps turning
I choke on every breath I take
‘Cause inside I am burning
I’ve taken more than I can take
With nothing left to give
I’ve lost myself inside my mind
I’ve lost my will to live

You can say it gets better
But you don’t see at all
Some crawl up from darkness
Some were born to fall
Some are happy ever after
Some try endlessly
Some can drown their sorrows
But my sorrow’s drowning me

And I die a little more each day
But my world of pain keeps turning
A living nightmare, wide awake
Forever reoccurring
I’ve suffered more than I can fake
There’s nothing left to give
I’ve lost my mind
I’ve lost myself
I’ve lost my will to live

Lost my mind

Lost my will

Lost myself
A song I wrote back in my darker days.
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