First Light Love!

Morning darling,
I love you,
These words I long to hear,
Early morning's wonder light,
A kiss as first light warms me,
Rescues me from past love harm,

As you snuggle into me,
You locked my heart,
You locked her tight,
Keep her always close in sight,
Maybe not in vision,
But in the recess of your mind,

Trust my wonder's sparkling aura,
Think perhaps you may adore her,
Her being me,
Not dashing free,
Skipping as a sweet treat child,
Bless me with your kisses,
Let them run for miles and miles,

I'm wedged in heaven,
Inside your arms,
So safe, but making no demands,
Awaiting open prison meeting,
Guess what!
I'm on remand,
Only got to wait till June,
Then together we can surf the moon!

By ladylivvi1

© 2013 ladylivvi1 (All rights reserved)

But I want to help you
Even though
We're hundreds of miles
Apart.
You always post
Those little things
That reveal how much
You're hurting.
And I wish I could help.
I wish I could say,
"Text me, I won't judge you"
Or somehow become your friend
And I suppose I'm writing this
Hoping that you'll see it
And think, "that girl will help.
I'll confide in her."

Who am I fooling?
Some things just don't happen
You'd never trust a stranger
And I can't blame you
But even though I know
Just how insane and inane this wish is
If you'd only ask
I'd respond and do my best
To give you a bit of the life you deserve

She looks at her reflection,
Everyday.
And everyday she finds something she wants to fix.

Scared that she might go back.
To eighty pounds ago.
Scared that losing eighty pounds wasn't enough.

She exercises,
Everyday.
And everyday she feels too tired to function.

Hoping that she might look "normal,"
A term that is so vague.
Hoping that one day she will feel okay with herself.

She stares at that mirror,
Everyday.
And everyday she wonders why she's like this.

Wondering why she can't feel comfortable,
With her own body.
Wondering why she isn't proud.

Because when she looks at that mirror,
She sees flaws she can't fix.
Everyday.

Today was a slow day on the news wire
Nothing at all going on
The people and things that cause trouble in life
Must have decided to call it quits and stay home

No earthquakes or tornado's to speak of
No mudslides or fires to ravage the land
All the people who bring us the bad news
Stood around just scratching their heads

Not a person was murdered or robbed
No kidnapping or spousal abuse
Nothing much exciting to speak of
That we've grown to expect in our news

No bombs in the Middle East went off
No politicians were caught in a lie
No Hollywood Star said something stupid
No one famous or not even died

Yes today was a slow day on the news wire
Nothing at all going on
Which has the rest of us wondering
If this is the calm before the storm

Insomnia, my greatest enemy, dearest friend has come along to visit again.
She appears at my bedside each night and waits beside me as the darkness encroaches.
My comforter is thick and warm, inviting toward her, she comes next to me, I can feel her above me, whisking the tired feelings away.
She slips into the corners of my mind and takes my body for a ride, just lying there for endless hours, waiting for a sign of sun.
I am sweating but the dark is far too cold to relieve the covers of their duty.
The darkness is thick and cold and chills my bones to the core as I stand up.  
I have become far too restless just lying and I need to move, Insomnia what is your purpose?
Three am showers have become a habit, almost like a ritual as I take the walk down the hall trying hard not to make a sound.    
The door creeks as I open it, my feet freezing on the tile floors as I step inside.
I strip my sweaty thermal off my back, a difficult task because it had begun to stick to my skin.
I turn the water to the highest temperature, even that won’t be hot enough to escape the dark chill in my bones.
As I wait for the water to become satisfactory I count tiles like I have so many nights before.
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28…
Tonight’s magic number, the water has become slightly shy of scalding and I step in and just feel.
Sensations over run my body, rigid from the sudden change in atmosphere
Relaxed because the heat feels good
I give in and take a seat on the warm, stark white surface
It feels good to just sit in the haze of vapor
Insomnia loosens her grip as the water makes me number than I was before
The water goes cold; I suppose I have sat too long pondering my woes and worries
So I stand which is quite the task, the same each night
I turn off the water absorbing the last of the heat and savoring each second
I step out and go through the motions of drying myself
Begin at my hair and work toward my toes
I put on sweatpants and a new t-shirt
I brush my hair
The door creeks open once more and I return to my room
My bed welcomes me and insomnia has left my bedside, finally tiring from fighting my body, off to infect another I suppose
Good night, until tomorrow my dear friend, great enemy.

Do you see her?
The girl across the room
with forlorn eyes
and chipped nail polish.
She probably worked
really ******* her nails
but she's nervous
and standing alone
with no one to talk to
and nothing
to occupy her mind.

"I should talk to her," thinks a boy
watching from across the room
"I can't talk to her"

"She's too beautiful
and I do not have the courage
and maybe she wants
to be left alone anyway"

Little does he know,
she wants him to talk to her
because although she would never admit it
she does not do well
on her own
and loneliness
is making a permanent home
in her heart.