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This can be hard to talk about
Very difficult to say
But I'd like to tell you what I'd like
Upon my dying day

Could you throw a great big party
A wake to end all wakes
And if there's nothing nice to talk about
Just throw a few lies my way

Stand me in the corner
Prop both my hands up high
So when all my friends come in
I can both wave hello and wave bye, bye

When the parties over
Before I begin to ripe
Fold me up for easy storage
In a cool place that night

In the morning let me ride on top of the car
So I can feel that southern breeze
Before we arrive at the funeral home
Please clean the bugs out of my teeth

When you step up to my golden casket
For one final glance
Don't look past the coat and tie
Cause I wont be wearing any pants

This all sounds fine and dandy
But I have no money for my elaborate plans
So I guess just take me out back to the barbecue pit
Then flush my ashes down the can
Jumping and swinging
Rolling about
Laughing and singing
Inside and out

Colors and sparkles
Shiny new shoes
Sugar and sprinkles
Ice cream too!

Snuggles and breath
And sweet little smiles
These are the treasures
In the eyes of a child
They asked me a question
One that sounded so easy
They asked what my Utopia is
But answering this made me queasy

With every pro came a con
It was not simple at all
Of course I could say a world without
War, starvation, poverty, and hate
But what is a life with out a bridge to cross
Without a sad memory or loss
With out a struggle with a victory
Or a smile and a misery?
You see this is why I answered to them
My Utopia is where I am
I seek darkness
and blood
for balance
I want to breathe in fluids
and
to drown myself
in beauty
so I need shades
for depth
perception
I seek out shadows
distorted versions
of light
without which I am frightened
and blind
to its shapes

I seek pain
in visions
vivid illuminations
of horror
of second hand experiences
to shoot through my system
for dopamine kicks
that allow me to cry
and long
for reality's release
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