I've noticed the saddest days of my life have frequently been accompanied by heavy rainfall. It's almost like all of heaven is crying with me, or showering me with the grace to cry alone. Either way or neither way, I am grateful that the clouds darken my face as the tears flow unrelentlessly. Pouring pain from my soul to ready for more. The more the tears flow, the deeper the pain grows. Is there no end? Tears overwhelm me like a flood. Gasping for air in the pit of loneliness. Groping at the walls of hopelessness only to have it slip through my fingers and cover me with its sludge. To feel loved and hated by the same. To be looked upon in utter disdain. To be silenced in words that cut out the fight. To be defeated and left all alone with a self I can hardly condone. The loathing without has now turned within and grows with each breath I take. A smile will create the mask to wear that hides the pain inside. They'll never know the darkness yet grows until I am swallowed within. The sound of the break as strong as a quake that shudders the walls of its part. Tear asunder the thoughts I now ponder grinding them all to a halt. Where is the light that once was so bright it blinded the eyes that would see? How can I face how pain has erased the light that once was in me? The tears fail to wash the darkness away but instead leave a river of blood. Flowing from what was once my heart and is now a soul-wrenching flood. Good-bye heart and all that you feel I wish not to feel you again. Break from your place of utter disgrace and shatter with all of your pride. Crumble and fall for once and for all leaving no pain inside.

Shameful a past, often reminded
Lest she forfeit the pain that's behind her
How can a Mother hear so much?
Of her mistakes instead of her touch
Love runs so deep for the child she bore
The one who scorns and slams the door

No way to change what's been done
No way to stop, no where to run
What is the reason to see me burn?
What is to gain but making me squirm?
If I could change the past then I would
Take it all back and make it all good

But all she can do is what she did then
Cry these tears and live it again
Forgotten were the days of a mother's care
Of baths, and stories, and fixing her hair
The nights spent with fevers
Now she has trouble to remember either

Surely her tears will never wash clean
The words that were meant to cause her such pain
They are etched in her heart forever to stay
For all those mistakes this is her pay
To spend her life, the rest of her years
Attempting to redeem a Mother's Tears

It's a new day
A new season
A new dawn....time to move on

The dream has awakened
The past is a flight
I'm praying for courage
To do what is right

My heart is so thankful
For mercies and grace
To run with a purpose
In my life's race

I'm down on my knees
With face to the ground
Seeking a wisdom
I know will be found

The answer is near
I feel it, I do!
My hope is found
In no one but You!!

Rain on the roof
Sounds like tears
Falling from Heaven
Coating my fears

Drained of the energy
That I once had
Gasping to breathe
the air leaves me sad

Storms in the forecast
Just as I dreamed
Life is no longer
the joy that it seemed

Wanting to hide
With no strength to move
As hard as I've tried
I can't help but brood

Rain clouds forming in the sky
I don't know why
I can't dry my eyes.

Reading, working, trying to stir
What's to endure?
Is there a cure?

Jumping, leaping, running away
I know I must stay
From childhood we've played

Crying tears washing my eyes
I don't like to cry
And ask myself, why?
I must wake up and try

Walking on egg shells
Holding my tongue
Wanting to tell
Needing to run

Pain on his face
Breaking my heart
Keeping a pace
Tearing apart

Knowing the bond
That never could be
Leaves me to run
And need to be FREE!

Watching and waiting
For things to appear
To pull me from drowning
From steeping in fear

Miracles standing
At the edge of my pain
Turning a back on
The prayers that I've prayed

I wait... my head in my hands
With tears on my face
Knees in the sand
Again.... I wait