I didn't feel the flutter of your feet,
I didn't hear your cry,
But I felt you,
Our hearts shared the same chords,
You are the only one who's ever touched my soul,
I don't know how this happened,
It breaks my heart to know I'll never see your sweet face,
Or hear you sweet little laugh,
I can only imagine your beauty,
Or the way you'd play with your daddy,
I don't know why things happened like this,
My heart will never beat in the right tune,
Because I never got to have you.

Sweet things are said sweetly
Confections whispered into the ear
You open your soul for the luscious 'knight'
Candied are his words
Sugar coating the heart with a delicate shell
This sugary Candy Man will eat at this heart so decadent
Leaving you with the cavity

You steady your aim
**** back, ready to fire
Phasers set to brimstone
You're someone I admire
But with all the destruction you bring
You never allow a chance for wings
No, you throw your potential away

I found myself at the bottom of the river
Waiting and more than ready for a touch
What is gold when the soft embrace of silver
Is enough to help you out in times of need
Always was second best, unlike you
Never came out less than best
In my own head, at least you know it's true

Fell into the dirt, had trouble rising up
You were there looking down to me
But you'd never allow me the luxury
To hear, to feel, not even to see
You keep me blinded
So deaf and dumb
And I can't find it
I'll never know if I won

Tendrils of hair caress your cheeks
And you sigh, in a manner not quite forlorn,
But wearied.
Yesterday you picked up the red icing from
Your birthday cake and smeared it on your lips.
Your eyes contain a light that seems to dance
In their pools of relentless curiosity,
And you blink, for a moment,
A reprise from your absorption of
The Way Things Are.

Last week you were covered in dirt and
Blue on your eyelids that stretched to
Your browbones and made your
Stare look menacing.
I watched as you came home and
Scrubbed it off, allowing yourself
The small kindness of an easy cry
As you muttered and cursed, scaring me.

Today you are buying fake nails
And your makeup covers the
Oily tear-tracks on your cheeks.
And, for a moment, I am proud
Because your eyes light up ferociously
When someone calls your name.
So I say it over and over, reminding you you’re real.

You probably understand. Or maybe you don't, after all. Either way, it is jumping around inside me and if I don't let it out soon all my carbonation will fizz up and run over the side of my glass and I don't want to waste all that sweetness.

I want to kiss you underwater.

I want that kiss to be the only thing keeping us alive. Down there we are foreigners, aliens. Grasping, I want to feel your flesh in stark contrast to the smooth wetness all around me, like a secret.

All that life where we cannot live. Exotic, forbidden, so lovely. I am sick with love.