Don't dare hang up the phone
Please don't touch that dial
I've got this idea a-brewing
If you'll kindly hear me out

I often have these hunger pains
Throughout my busy day
And seldom find the time to stop
For a meal along the way

So I got my brain juices flowing
And came to this conclusion
Baloney flavored chewing gum
Could be this man's solution

But how to get the flavor
Onto the stick of gum
When it's baloney that I savor
It must be in the rub

So I go buy top shelf baloney
Take the gum from my pocket...
...remove the lint
Rub-a-Dub this grub like in a tub
Then call it baloney peppermint

I'm now on my way to success
Never stopping off for meals
Ain't got time for none of that
In my world of Wheel and Deal

I've now quite the variety of meat
In the daily meals I chew
If you care to call 1-800-Baloney Peppermint
Then you can chew it too

Come to think of it, I've never seen a fat vampire
It's not like they get a lot of exercise
Laying around all day in their own grave
You would think they'd a bit larger in size

I mean don't they ever get hungry
So hungry they say they could die
That's hard as the walking dead with no lives left
Bet they'd love if blood came deep Southern fried

Do they prefer meat eaters over vegetarians
Do they like their veins to be grain feed
Or they picky or not with the choices they've got
And would they settle for whatever is left

It'd be nice if they could at least enjoy desert
Maybe a slice of Red Velvet cake
With icing so cold, matching their dead empty soul
And red of course for reds ****** sake

Yes, all the vampires I know are skinny minnies
Could be cause they only know how drink
I find it kind of cruel as all they can do is drool
Watching as living sit there and eat

I tried to write a lullaby
With a 70's theme of sorts
Kids drinking Sunny "D" in their jammies
Girls in Mindy, Boys in Mork

But that's as far as I could get
This dried up crinkly brain stays in a daze
So I picked up the phone, dialed up some friends
In hopes of a friendly Friday night game of charades

Of course Sylvester brought his Ouija board
He thinks with the other side he's in tune
I hate to break it to Houdini here
But I think he's inhaled to many fumes

My friends say that I'm just paranoid
Like a jester without a court
So I turn and apologize to Sylvester
Okay dude, pull out the board

We place our fingers on the Doohickey
Or is that the Thingamajig
Redrum, Redrum, Redrum, is all that it spells
As Sylvester has a fit

He knocks the game table over
And screams it's that movie, The Shining all over again
This is ****** spelled backwards people
As the smell of the dead blows in on the wind

In all of the dark spirit world excitement
I think I even ***'d myself
I suggest in a manly way with a wet spot on the front of my Bell Bottom jeans
That we put the Ouija board back up on the shelf

I really wasn't expecting an evening
Of doom and gloom and tombs and such
I think I'll go back to writing that 70's lullaby
If you don't mind...thank you very much

She's a pure Southern girl
Fried deep in hospitality
Beautiful as a magnolia bloom
Standing tall in majesty

Talks with a sweet syrupy drawl
As cane sugar seeps from her pores
Cute as a button and that is not all
Picture perfect as the girl next door

Honeysuckle ripe on the vine
More than enough sweet to fill your needs
Chasing fireflies in the middle of flight
Giving off just enough light to keep you intrigued

She's a pure Southern girl
Stands out in a crowd
Laughs out loud so easily
She'll give you the time and make you her world

She loves passing the time
On a green mountainside or a tan sunny beach
Any place in life suits her just fine
As long as it's down South within her Southern charms reach

With a flip of the coin, she gives you a choice
And she'll be the one you choose
A pure Southern girl is all that she is
And all that she'll ever do

How long am I going to ride
With selfishness strapped in by my side
When I picked him up from off side the road
And asked him where he'd like to go

At that very moment he grabbed the wheel
And now we go wherever he feels
Forget about anyone else
It's now just me and self on the road to hell

How I often wish that I had known
That when he jumped in he wouldn't leave me alone
No matter what I ever say
Left or right, it's always his way

If he ever does stop for a rest
That is when I'll take my chance
Making sure I keep the keys
Crank the engine and quickly leave

That'll be the last selfishness sees of me...

Be the wheel
that's set to turn
The comfort in
the daily hurt
The flame that lights
not the one that burns
Be the lesson
that is learned

Be the hope
and not despair
The helping hands
that show you care
The pleasure ride
that takes you there
Be the truth
inside the dare

Be the answer
to the call
The very reason
for it all
The solid yes
to all the no's
Be the river
that freely flows

Be the kindness
that we need
The encouragement  
that sets us free
The do good
to the deed
Be all this
and all of these

Ring...Ring*

me) That's a strange area code....Yello!

God) Hello

me) Hello, who is this?

God) It's me God, don't you recognize my voice?

me) No...

God) Hmmm...that's what I thought.

me) What do you mean by...never mind, I was just getting ready to call you!

God) Ah hello it's me....God?

me) Oh yea, I guess there's no fooling you there.

God) Not really but don't think that people don't try! Haven't seen you around in a while...

me) Well you know I'm always thinking about you...most of the time. And I listen to Christian music...some of the time. Oh and I try to read inspirational books...when I have time.

God) Isn't that nice...Hey, how are the knees holding out?

me) My knees?

God) Yes your knees or more to the point...your prayer life.

me) My prayer life? Didn't I mention I'm always thinking...

God) Yea I got that, it's just the way things have been going lately I know your worried.

me) Your not kidding there!

God) Well that's why I called, to remind you I'm still in control and everything is going to work out according to my will. You do believe that don't you?

me) Yes I believe that.

God) Then you might want to start acting like it. With all that's going on around you these days you seem to have left me out.

me) You know your right!

God) Duh...I'm God!

me) Oh yeah...

God) Hey here's a novel idea (please excuse the pun) instead of reading an  inspiring book  try reading THE inspired book...My Holy Word. Every thing you need in life is there.

me) That IS a novel idea! (did you say something about a pun) Thanks I'm feeling better. Hey I gotta go there's someone at the door. Can I call you later?

God) Of course...I'm always here.

I had the strangest feeling
That if I cut my hair
All of my crazy poem ideas
Would suddenly disappear

Like Samson with Delila
I'd loose that added edge
If I didn't keep this mop top
On top of my knotted head

All the poetry would be zapped from me
And I would lose my purpose
Start rhyming things like moon with June
At that point my pen would be worthless

But I couldn't take it anymore
It was driving me insane
So I got out the heavy duty shears
And did something about this mane

I now see the pile in front of me
Expecting the Philistine's to crash through the door
But the only action that there is
Is me sweeping my curley remains up off the floor

I now face the day in front of me
Showing no lack of courage
Continuing in my quest
Of looking for that elusive word that rhymes with orange

Alexander Graham
Rang a Bell when he said
Mr. Watson, come here
In 1876

With no earthly idea
Of what was to come
How we live today
With cell phones up our butts

Wherever you turn
Someone's talking or texting
At every red light
While the green one is resting

And let's not forget
The in your ear bluetooth craze
People talking out loud to themselves
Like we all care what they say

Or out and about
At a table for four
Where each cell phone in hand
Is the only thing not ignored

It does make you wonder
What Alexander would do
If he saw his seed planted
Producing this rotten fruit

Perhaps then Alexander Graham
Would ring that Bell in history
And say Mr. Watson, come here
Help me destroy this thing!

The sun is out in Jacksonville
Me oh my goodness gracious alive
Now that the Richter scale has calmed down
I'm happy to say, we've all survived

Hoping from the beginning we'd go extra innings
And that our side would win
Between the Suns owner and the fans who are moaners
We are now the Jacksonville Jumbo Shrimp

So batter up you people
No need to be steamed it's just life
Though can you imagine the jokes from all of the folks
Might make us so boiling mad we could fry

And then there's the question of Southpaw
What's that mascot still doing here
I'm sure he can fetch but that's about it
Something smells fishy in this sailors beard

But I digress from where we should be
The theme is the name of the team
And I might be in hot water if I go any further
Without explaining what I really mean

Though you may not find
It very a-peel-ing
The way the owner did
In this fishy dealing

It might be to late but it's only a name
Try if you can to chow down on this
The teams still the same so come out to the games
No need for you to be so shellfish

This girl, old so and so
Has an affair with what's his face
Every one in town knows about
Except for what's her name

This guy from somewhere or another
Shows up after years lost at sea
Everyone is so surprised
Except for...you know who I mean

In the middle as my stomach grumbles
I go to the store for a snack
Three days later I turn back on the tube
They're at the very same spot they were when I left

This little blind boy with his seeing eye dog
Is in a hospital bed with issues
I loudly exclaim these **** allergies
And run back to the store for more tissue's

This mystery man goes down in flames
In a fiery plane crash
Wouldn't you know, as soap operas go
Two days later the guy is back

That's about all I've gotten out of the soaps
As this week draws to an end
But come Monday midday, what can I say
They'll start all over at the same place again

Want you please speak to me in the 60's
In far out psychedelic rhymes
Take a ride beside the blacklight
On the Velvet Underground

Wake me up with the Strawberry Alarm Clock
Serving incense and peppermints in bed
Fixing a hole where the rain gets in
As the 60's flood my head

Walk with me through Asbury
With a flower child in hand
Listening to the groovy tunes
Of Captain Beefheart and His Magic Band

Hang out with the hippies
Before Monterey goes pop
As they fly like butterflies
At the moment the acid drops

Want you please speak to me in the 60's
In the innocence of peace and love
Back then we all had our share
But is there ever really enough?

I caught a ride
On a beam from the moon
Left early May
Came back in late June
Would have stayed longer
But there's nothing to do
On the surface of Venus
If I can't do it with you

I had conversations
With the planets and stars
Kind of got blue
When I talked with red Mars
Said he was lonely
And asked where you were
What he wouldn't give
For the love of a girl

Mermaids swam and they splashed
In the Milky Way
When they came down
From Neptune for the day
The thing about Mermaids
Is they love to play
In the bubbly streams
Of the Milky Way

I've kissed constellations
Been warmed by their Suns
Nothing compares
To the time we spend alone
So I'm taking my moonbeam
And heading back home
To the galaxy
In which I belong

The next time I catch a ride
On a moonbeam
Going to make sure that you're
Right there with me
Oh pretty baby the sights
We both will see
Just the two of us
On our moonbeam

I'm trying not to get overly excited
I'm on just this side of freak
I've finally gotten the call I've been waiting for
The one that for years has eluded me

There aren't to many farmers out there
That take as much pride in what they grow
That's why Chef Boyardee selected me
To join their team on SpaghettiO's

I've been raising spaghetti for years
Spaghetti straight and long and lean
So I really see no problem
In SpaghettiO transitioning

From the natural growth of spaghetti
To the famed shape of the SpaghettiO
I just need to learn the secret
Of how to roll the perfect hole

As day one arrives in all it's glory
I head out into the fields
Stopping during the day only long enough
For a delicious Italian canned meal

Where I enjoy only the finest ingredients
Straight from the heart of this multicolored can
From the sweet little O's to the...What color is this sauce?!  "Orange?!"  "Red?!"
And isn't the taste a bit overly bland...

Oh well...
When the day of harvest arrives
I bring in the Italians cause everyone knows
For generations they have perfected
The delicate picking of SpaghettiO's

Who ever thought the growing of spaghetti
Would bring this farmer so much fame
I just received a call from a little known farming cult
Who'd like me to try my hand at the growing of Spam
After my successful go at SpaghettiO's
I'm pretty sure I'm just the man who can

this company is heading straight to the top
with our new improved line of fairy farts
soon our catch phrase will be all over the place
a slight touch of magic in a jar

first and foremost a disclaimer though
in the making of farts not one fairy was harmed
we house and feed, take care of their every need
so there's no need for alarm

once we discovered how the ***** could be used
down here on fairy farm
we've had all our men chase after them
capturing bottom barks into a jar

then by hand we transfer them
from pint up to gallon size
to be used all the way from laundry detergent
to a line of makeup that's soft on the eyes

we even have samples of candles
bath and body works just bought the whole lot
plus it runs machines cheaper than gasoline
so far the highest bid is from Exon

we're also in talks of a contract
with a highly secretive govern(mental) agency
who wants all the gas with no questions asked
but on that we'll have to wait and see

in the mean time our workers continue to bottle it up
all the fairy farts from all the fairy butts
it's a job that flatuates deep to the heart
but with this job what's not to love

as you watch the fairies flutter to and fro
hearing the cute little ***** wherever they go
who would have guessed who could have known
how much a business like this would grow

Where did she go this time
This seamstress of the rhyme
Did she just up and quit
Had enough of it
Decided to move on
Flipping the silver coin
That came up on heads
So that is why she left

Where did she up and go
This seamstress of the poem
Did she even bid farewell
Tell us all to go to...
Hello are you out there
I'm in my underwear
That may be T.M.I.
What I won't do for a rhyme

Why did she have to part
This seamstress of poetic art
Since the day she went away
Things round here ain't been the same
Sitting here wondering what is up
Cause I miss Deborah very much

Oh and the part about me in my underwear now burned into your mind
Any good Shrink could erase that given enough money and time

take a look at these hands
hands that hold the future
hands of generations
that call themselves the past

take a look at these hands
precise in their making
from this walk of life to the other side
generations to be grasped

I'm one of those blessed I know
To get along with my toes
So I took time out in my day
To give them all different names

The big toe I have on the right
I gave him the name of Frank
You may ask the reason why
But frankly it's escaped my mind

The one that's sitting next to him
I went ahead and named him Slim
Skinny is as skinny does
And he's the skinniest of the toes

Then there's the one in the middle
He's the one that loves to wiggle
So he needs a special name
And that is why I call him Dave

The toe that is next in line
Has gotten crooked over time
So I nicknamed him Senator
Which seems to suit him fine

And then there's little Pinky
But doesn't everyone I'm thinking
Try as hard as I might a new name to find
Pinky's the name that comes to mind

Don't you know when it comes to toes
And you have more than one of those
To cut out on the confusion
I gave them all names of my choosing

Everyday I get up
Animal crackers are what I stuff
Into my pockets to make it through the day

They're not only my passion
But also great on nutrition
And comfort food in the sweetest of ways

They give me something to chew
And also nice to talk to
With the lions and tigers and bears, Oh my!

Animal crackers and me
Have a commonality
From spending time in the circus to our love of pie

They're really great conversationalists
As we share our many interests
From Tupperware to scuba diving to pocket lint

Now you know why
I pack my pockets tight
When going about my business makes so much sense

Cossack Cowboys
Riding Llamas
That they dress
In pink pajamas
Teeny boppers
Blowing bubbles
Biker chicks
Causing trouble
Nuns in Habits
Punks in chains
One or two
Of the deranged
Rubbing Buddha belly
Cravers
And the band
Harvey Danger
David Bowie
Elton John
Both of them
With Spacesuits on
Vegetarians
Eating chicken
Love it fried
Finger licking
In a line to
Meet and greet Obama
Now I wish
I'd brought my Mama
On the T.V.
Slicing, Dicing
Infomercials
Are enlightening
Lindsey Lohan
There's more trouble
Send the Police
On the double
Michael Jackson
With his monkey
Chandelier
Swinging junkies
Bottle Rocket
Ridding crickets
Dolly Parton
Doing dishes
Tubs of Crisco
Set for wrestling
Bee Gees do be
Disco dancing
With Bruce Jenner
Wearing makeup
Dolly's kitchen
Filled with soap suds
Rubber band
Bumper babies
Call me odd
Don't call me crazy
Shooting stars
Carry Uzis
Washed up stars
Drink beer in Koozies
Donnie Osmond
Singing show tunes
As Marie blows
Animal balloons
Circus Barkers
And their Minions
Waylon left us
Shooter Jennings
Heidi Klum
Without makeup
To say the least
She looks a bit rough
American flags
As rainbow banners
Peal, scratch, and sniff
Talking bananas
Hookha smoking
Manatees
Oh yea...
and then there's me
These are just a few of the things that lean
On the lamp post of my dreams

We must live in a zoo
The way that you do
Cry Crocodile tears
Always on cue

As you Monkey around
With every guy in town
Slick as a Snake
With the decisions you make

Craning my neck
Like the tallest Giraffe
As my  Elephant mind
Never forgets

And when I bring it up
Say that I've had enough
You scream in my face
Like a wild Whooping Crane

Are you serious
Says this Laughing Hyena
I can't take it no more
Like a Lion I roar

It's hard to keep up
With you Miss Cheetah
Thick skin I have grown
Like a Rhino

I'm tired of your lies
This Owl's become wise
Now that I think of it
This all seems to fit

So I'll see you later
Alligator
It's too hard to cage you
I'm outta this Zoo

As I read your poetry
I wonder if it's true
Do the demons that help in rhyme
Really have a hold of you

And is the one you say you love
Not returning you the favor
In the poems that you pen
Is this all your life's behavior

Does your father really raise his fist
While your mother screams
As alcohol flows freely in your life
Or is it just poetry

Are you on the verge of suicide
And do you truly cut yourself
Do you feel that worthless in your life
Is what you write a cry for help

As I read your poetry
It often sets me off to wonder
Do you write about yourself
Or do you write about another

Call it fate or a mistake
But I'm always running late
Whether it's in to morning work
Or out to nightly dinner dates

Never have I been early
At anything I do
Except to say that I'll be late
But that you already knew

It's been that way from the beginning
Starting with my nine and a half month birth
Inside of the womb, slept till way past noon
For all that I was worth

Still feel I'm in my teenage years
Late at growing up
But I must say the way adults act these days
Don't think I'm missing much

I may even be late for my own funeral
But would that be a crime
I ask who out there wouldn't care
If they missed their day of dying

So call it fate or a mistake
One or another, either way
All I can say is that to this day
I'm always running late

As the golden hammer
Pounds the rusty nail
How much more can a people take
Laying open on the side of the bleeding highway
Storms in the distance coming into existence
Rising itself, preparing itself
To wash away the inhabitants of the lost
Giving over to the brutality of humanity
Oh generation, where can you turn
Travelers of this dying sphere
Awaken! Awaken! Youth of tomorrow
Consumers of the day
Set course for the unknown
Where in reality
The hammer is the slave

Allow me my love to lift you up
Through the best and worst of times
With mountains beyond these foothills
Arm in arm we both will climb

Don't mind the daily pressures
That tend to come from every side
Or the weight of the situation
As you are heavy on my mind

At the turn of every tunnel
Though dim there is a light
Helps in keeping focused
In never losing sight

If you can count on anything
It's the true love of my might
No matter the weight of the rainy days
You are heavy on my mind

Life can be counted off in seconds
In its maddening rush of time
If along the way there are no lessons
Consider it a crime

Don't make light of the situation
Or of the chains that bind
You are the mix inside of the making
As you are heavy on my mind

We were at one time considered the innocent
Can Captain Kangaroo tell me where the innocence went

When apple pies and all that's nice were specially baked by Mom
At what point in our lifetime did it all go wrong

Was it when they told us to hide underneath our desks
And then for added measure to cover up our heads

We were told the Russians would surely be the ones
To be the first among us to drop the lethal bomb

My friend Jimmy's Dad that lived next door to me
Had a shelter in his back yard just for his family

Filled it up with high hopes and their American dreams
From RC Cola to Cheerios to cans of fresh sardines

While the movie stars in Hollywood kept us entertained
With Gene Kelly and his dancing girls singing in the rain

They did a wonderful job keeping our minds from off the ledge
So we didn't all at the same time tumble over the edge

While our so called leaders made their back room deals
Whoever it is out of them all that had the strongest will

Would be called the victor and come out on top
Before it is the innocent child saw the big on drop

As I sit and ponder this I find it rather strange
That after all these 50 years not much has really changed

Life starts out each day
In colorful waves
From the purple mountains majesty
To the white caps they display
As the suns yellow rays
Captures the forests dark shade
Life is a colorful display

From the sheen of green leaves
On branches of brown
Above moss covered grey rock
On top of mud red dirt ground
As the bluejay gives way
Richness abounds
With natures most colorful sounds

The green and gold of the seas splash
On the sands mixture of beige
With a backdrop blue of the sky
Giving way to the ache
As the Crayola of colors
Leaves the box to come out and play
On this most colorful of days

I decided today when I woke up
To write a poem  for everyone
I'd start off with the very old
And end up with the young

In between I'd have kings and queens
Along with a peasant or two
A genius with a dozen degrees
Even a few without a clue

For the in-laws and the outlaws
Though at times they act the same
If right now they're sitting next to you
No need to mention names

I'd also write it for the Catholics
Protestants and Jews
So as not to leave anyone out
A Methodist marching band with kazoos

What would a poem for everyone be
Without rodeo and circus clowns
The ones that paint happy faces
Over the top of their life's frowns

The tall the short and skinny of course
Those that are tipping the scale
Which these days are most of us
But let's not dip into that well

And of course I can't leave out
All the gays and all the straights
Who never knew that they were straight
Until the gays knew they were gay

I guess we've all been labeled
I really don't mean to offend
Oops...I almost forgot to include
All the mustached women and hairy backed men

If you find you weren't in here
And think that your unmentionable
I'd like you to know my friend
My rudeness was unintentional

You may take this poem for everyone
And do with it what you wish
Perhaps the closest receptacle
Where it may join it's friends...the trash

I at one time thought
about becoming a vegetarian
but I asked bacon and he said no....

I'm not sure you've heard of
But there's a girl out there named Purpose
For whom I have been searching
I hear that she's well worth it

When I find her I won't tarry
I'll ask her to marry
And without a second thought
A child for me she'll carry

We'll name the child ambition
Something I have been missing
I'll rock her to sleep at night
In the day make her my mission

From this day forward
Knowing full well to be worth it
Striving in my finding
For that girl named Purpose

With this,
My last Will & Testament
I'm sure you're all here
To see what you get

I know you're excited
To see the treasures I had
Now that I'm gone
Now that I've passed

To split it up evenly
Only seems right
Cuts down on the cussing
Stops all the fights...

I leave behind my disappointments
And all my regrets
Along with the projects
I never finished

Plus all the days
That I never did
With the buckets of tears
I cried over them

You can keep the guilt that I felt
When things would go wrong
Whether or not
It was my fault

Take the attitude
Of what's in it for me
And do as you please
Now that I'm free and no longer in need

Oh and my fits of rage
When things would not go my way
Be careful with that
And watch what you say

Fill free to keep the jealousy
Of why them and not me
But be warned if you do
Happy you'll never be

And my final breath
That I wish I still had
You can toss that away
Now that I'm dead

I'm sure you're now thinking that
You should have hedged all your bets
Since your ears and your eyes
Have heard and seen what is left

I'm so glad you all came
To take this all away
That over the years
I should never have saved

...oh and tonight if you are soundly asleep
And suddenly come awake
The noise you hear is just me
Laughing from beyond the grave

Surfs Up
In distant lands
From Kuwait Bay
To Afghanistan
Arabia
To Pakistan
We all high five
As we hang ten
The ladies there
With burkas on
Will grab their boards
And surf along
The Taliban
With weapons raised
Are now into
The surfing craze
The Saudi king
Is wondering
With his wives
What they're missing
So he goes and buys
Daytona Beach
And has it shipped
To the Middle East
Where there is no more
Need to fight
As they sing Beach Boy tunes
By beach fire light
They're all hanging loose
In the Middle East
Even the Palestinians
And the Israelis
Who knew surfing would
Bring so much peace
To the troubled times
In the Middle East

What went through your mind, oh Wondrous Creator
When as baby Jesus you let out your first cry
Did you know at that moment you were the Savior
Of this fallen world and all of mankind

Did you recognize your mother Mary
And see her as Your special child
Only you God at such tender a moment
Could give us your all at such tender a time

Did your first sight at creation astound you
As you looked through the blur of finite
From the beginning you'd always seen clearly
In the presence of your Fathers light

Did the warmth of God's Spirit surround you
As the December chill settled over the land
Were you holding the hand of the Father
In the transition from Son of God to Son of man

When you heard the first bleat of the lambs
Were your thoughts on being the shepherd of man
That would lead all those gone astray
Did you already know of that day

These are questions that I tend to ponder
On the greatest gift the world's ever known
I will praise you for all of the wonder
The first Christmas that your love, my Savior was born

Jessica, I've seen your bruises

The ones you try to hide
You were out shopping, thought no one was looking
While in the grocery isle

Jessica, I knew  this was happening

No need to see the proof
I'm about to do something to that good for nothing
Next time he lays a hand on you

Jessica, I saw you crying

Sitting on that old wooden stump
Just want you to know that no good so and so
May not be there when you get home

Jessica, you can relax now

And be anything that you want
I figured sooner or later I'd find some hungry gators
Down at the edge of Myrtle swamp

Now Jessica's no longer crying...

Boogers are the best
Out of all the tasty treats
I love the way my fingers feel
Digging deep into the meat
Out of all that I stick in my mouth
Boogers are my all time favorite thing
Nothing's more satisfying
Than a good ****** to eat

************

After it is I posted this
I see I should have proof read
As it's staring back at me
I'm more than a bit embarrassed
Burgers "NOT" boogers
Is what it should have said
Once again I have to blame
That with a mind of its own...spell check