i had no idea what love was
until it disappeared
or the joyful sound it made
until silence was all that i could hear
or the beauty that it held
in a single tear
i had no idea what love was
until love disappeared

i had no idea what love would take
until it was gone
took apart this wanting heart
left behind this weary soul
would i have let it get this far
if only i had known
i had no idea what love would take
until love was gone

Smiling ever so sweetly
A quick wink of the eye
She opens her palms slightly
And lets the dust fly

Mind you this is not pixie dust
Nor dried mud from a troll
But the finest of fairydust
That could ever be thrown

It seeps through the crevices
To the pages within
Playfully and knowingly
Lands on a poem with a grin

If your one of the fortunate few
Then you know what I mean
Because what has landed on you
Is the love of her dream

Your heart it does soar
As her dust lifts you up
Sparkling among the words
The magic of fairydust

Could there be such a thing

As bubblegum poetry

And if there is

When you chew it

Do you read it and savour

The bubblegum flavor

Or is what you just read

Over too fast

Does it blow bubbles of thought

In your head more than not

And does it come sugar free

For no guilt when you read

Close cousin to a bubblegum song

Where you can't help but hum along

I personally think that it would be sweet

If there was such a thing as bubblegum poetry

It has come into question
My love for the Croc
Whether it be in bare twinkle toes
Or with knee high socks

Rubber on rubber
From top end to sole
Soft spongy comfort
To take on the road

Yes they're here for the comfort
Not here for the speed
Certainly not for the fashion
If that's what you seek

You might have already guessed
That left long ago
Trying hard to impress
Those in the know

The older you get
The less that you care
Hence my love for the Croc
And fur underwear

But back to my Crocs
Like it or not
It's all that I wear
They're all that I've got

Ask me which style
That I mostly own
(Inquiring minds want to know)
I'd have to say
Why, "The Original"

It's streamlined to date
With the perfect number of holes
I even wear them on dates
These Crocs got it going on

So let me be the first
To let you all in on this
My love for Crocs
Is just what it is

Be it in the bare feet
Or with paisley socks
You need to get over it
Cause I love my Crocs

Just the other day
I met Robert Goulet

I was surprised a bit
The way his mustache twitched

A mind of its own
Like in the Twilight Zone

Jumping right off his face
His mustache ran away

Teeny boppers next door
Giggled out of control

As Roberts mustached jumped
Landing in someones lunch

That's when the Maítre ď
Let out a girly scream

Quite an embarrassment
To all us burly men

Then throughout the day
The mustache of Robert Goulett

Made a name for itself
As it ventured about town

His mustache all could see
Has a tinder streak

Helping old ladies out
To get across the street

Why it even saved a cat
Giving all its nine lives back

Pulled it from a tree
That was burning excessively

At that same moment saved the town
Itself from burning down

But that story's much to long
To try to abound

The town was so impressed
They trimmed up the mustache

Of Robert Goulett
Then gave it a ticker tape parade

After that they named a street
Because of its heroic feat

If it had two hands to greet
Would have handed it the city's key

And if the mustache could talk at all
Would have given the greatest speech

If Roberts mustache had only known
It'd do this good out on its own

It would have left the upper lip
Along time ago

Cherish the time
Set it to memory
Burn it into your soul
For it soon will be gone
As these sands of time
Pour out so quickly
Faster than we know
Leaving a hole
We're all waiting in line
With father times keeping
Life's ladder folds
At its choice of footholds
Cherish the time
Celebrate it freely
Ready, set, go
We're all going home

I dress for comfort not for speed these days
And believe me I dress for comfort a lot
Forget the hassle of even tying a lace
When I slip into a cool pair of Crocs

I'm blessed to live near a Crocs store
And you know I can't help but go hog wild
Walls and walls of Crocs from ceiling to floor
In every imaginable color and style

When I dress for the night to show off my stuff
The smell of plastic permeates the air
It's like a drug, this shoe in which I am in love
I'll shout in the air! My love affair! I do not care!

You see I have my casual Crocs
As well as my Sunday go to meeting pair
They make me wish it was Sunday
more often than not
Cause when I wear them I'm in heaven
and feel I'm walking on air

On normal days when I mow yards for a living
I put on my Manly Work Crocs
When Winter is here and the cold comes a-licking
Crocs look stunning with knee high socks

So you see I have all of my bases covered
You've gotta love it, like it or not
Of course I walk on one side of the street,
my family the other
Cause I like to jump up and down, turn around,
skip and bounce whenever I am wearing my Crocs

Will you stroll with me
This path of Autumn leaves
Crunching underneath
Both our melodic feet
Said the Harp to the Six String Guitar
Come walk with me...

Will you dive with me
Into the open sea
Together we will swim
An enchanting melody
Said the Mandolin to the Violin
Come swim with me...

Will you float with me
On this cool night breeze
As fireflies flicker on and off
To our quaint melody
Said the Piccolo to the Saxophone
Come fly with me...

You can hear the melodies
Playing free
From one end of the other
Sea to shining Sea
As the instruments are all beckoning
Come play with me...

There's something crazy going on these days
Down at the city zoo
The giraffes have joined the high society club
While the monkies are getting tattoos

The elephant's are packing up their trunks
And moving to the Bronx
With all the hippos on a diet
In an effort to lose their junk

The Lions have stopped lying
The cheetahs have stopped cheating
And as far as all their drinking
They're both going to A.A. meetings

The orangutans are the ones to blame
For a pyramid scheme gone bad
Left the zebras all in the red
When they lost everything they had

The crocodiles are out sunning themselves
By the pool drinking Piña coladas
While the mother snakes go on Maury
To try and figure out who is the father

Yes, things are a little crazy these days
Down at the city zoo
But if you were locked in a cage all day
Wouldn't you go crazy too?

Conspicuous Consumption
Look at all I have
I've got money burning
In this power grab
Between the haves and have nots
I'm one of the haves
Enjoying this life of luxury
Sitting in its lap

Conspicuous Consumption
Take a breath and breath in deep
Take as many as you want
Although this stuff ain't cheap
Money is no object
It means nothing to me
Now that you ask, yes Virginia
Money does grow on trees

Conspicuous Consumption
In this world of give and take
If it's no longer suitable
It becomes throw away
Even if you tire of it
No need for it to break
Conspicuous Consumption
The phrase of the day

With the nickname glow worm
A jingle jangle jungle flunky
Experiment gone completely wrong
Radiation Monkey

Ran out of the backdoor
This monkey on the lamb
Glowing footprints across the floor
Running fast this lab rat

See him in the hills at night
Swinging wild amongst the trees
Don't get too close cause he might bite
Radiation Monkey

With the strength of 20 men
He started robbing grocery stores
They say he has the brightest grin
Banana smudges left on doors

Where they lift his fingerprints
Taping off of the crime scene
Geiger counters loudly tic
Radiation Monkey

A menace to society
This florescent ape that's escaped
A radiating personality
Waiting for you to make his day

Wanted posters all over town
Doubling up the bounty
They'll take him live or in the ground
Radiation Monkey

Lessons lived are lessons learned
Latch the windows, bolt the doors
Mistakes are made then hard earned
For stupidity there is no cure

In the lab behind those doors
Is where genius and crazy meet
They might lose a few but they'll make more
Radiation Monkey's

I live in north Florida
That's just a hop, skip, and a jump
From the land known as Georgia
Where "Honey Boo Boo" holds court with her mom

If'n you don't know "Honey Boo Boo"
Your in for a treat or more than one
She's a multi car train wreak
That you can't turn your eyes away from

First let me explain  the state of Georgia
So this family ya'll will understand
Not long ago they re-dirted both paved roads
Said progress was getting out of hand

So with that said and done
And formalities out of the way
Lets turn our attention back to our star attraction
And see what she has to say

Her fame started on Toddlers & Tiaras
Reality shows we all seem to love
From The Crazed Housewives to The Kardashion's
America can not get enough

And since it's on T.V. it's gotta be true
Have you ever tried her drink sensation
Of Red Bull and Mountain Dew, She likes to call "Go Go Juice"
It'll put a hurtin' on you

And who wouldn't want to see a six year old
With that kind of Hellacious Buzz
What goes through my mind when I look at that is
Ahhh, Redneck Motherly Love

So you had better redneckonize her!
If you know what's good for you
Cause a dolla makes her holla!
I'm so glad they've brought back the **** Tube...

You may not know it by looking at me
But I live life on the edge
At any given moment on any given day
I laugh in the face of death

Why, just the other night I didn't brush my teeth
Before I went to bed
That may shock you beyond all belief
But that's just the reckless man that I am

And if that isn't crazy enough
I remember not so long ago
Going outside in the pouring rain
Without my galoshes on

Can life be lived any more daring
I know your dying to ask
When you live life on the edge like I do
That my friend is a simple known fact

So don't say I didn't warn you
That I live a wild and crazy life
It may put your head into a spin
But that's just how it is that I ride

When I'm feeling extra spunky I refuse to use blinkers
And use hand signals instead
That's how it is in the business
Of riding in the fast lane with death

Your probably thinking with all of this madness
How can one man even survive
I guess I need to clarify I'm very careful
With a lot of things in my life

I do wear my cars safety belt
I've read up on all of the facts
Speed kills even at the top end of twenty
Which I do to save on my gas

And anti-bacterial lotion
I don't do one squirt but two
Don't let that change your opinion of me
Being Mr. Daring to you

Cause one thing that I always do
And I know your going to say "NO WAY!"
I sometimes ride the city bus
Without having the correct change..

Standing on a busy street corner
When a limo pulls up next to me
Out pops the head of Johnny Depp
(Not the body mind you, just the head)
And asks where's the nearest Dairy Queen

Not one to miss an opportunity
I blurted out I'll show you the way
So that's how the head of "The Depp" and I
Spent time together that day

In his limo he had his makeup artist
Which seemed a bit odd to me
Everywhere the head of Johnny went
It had to dress up for the scene

Since Johnny was drooling a Dilly
First stop Dairy Queen
With Johnny's head as the Mad Hatter under my arm
It was a very strange scene indeed

With me holding onto the Dilly's
And Johnny's head on the counter up front
Mr. Depp was the King at the Queen that day
Though his ice cream licking habit did turn some peoples lunch

Later on passing a Piggly Wiggly
Johnny's head said what's up with that
Told him it's nothing more than a grocery store
His reply was let's give it a crack

So undergoing more of his makeup
And in the blink of an eye
I have the head of Jack Sparrow
In the grocery cart with a bag of Funions by his side

Yes, Johnny Depp's head loves Funions
Which to me really ranks the breath
But who am I to tell a Big Time Movie Star that
I'm not the keeper of his head

He even dressed as Edward Scissorhands
Which didn't turn out quite right
Since Johnny's head has no hands
To hold the famous Scissorhand knives

That day we went to so many places
With every stop a new disguise
I guess for entertainment you do what you can
When all that's left is your head and some of your mind

Whelp, that's about it on this days adventures
Not a whole lot more to be said
As I stood on the street corner waving bye, bye
To the limo pulling off into the sunset, along with the head of Johnny Depp

At the moment of conception
In the warmth of Mothers womb
Let this be the beginning of my birthplace
Not the ending with my tomb

My life will serve a purpose
I have so much to give
I am not here by random chance
I am a life that want's to live

If there are choices given
What choice is given me
If you were free to choose to win or lose
What choice do you think that'd be

There are those in life who are childless
There are those who can't conceive
To tell the truth they would be begging you
Please just let me be

So at the moment of conception
In the warmth of mothers womb
Please let this be the beginning of my birthplace
Not the ending with my tomb

I know a girl
That's pure beauty to see
Won't mention her name
As I feel there's no need

You'd know by her smile
Her sparkling eyes
The way she celebrates
Every aspect of life

Spending her day
Grabbing hold of the reigns
Taking the good thoughts she's got
And giving them all away

The way the wind clearly dares
To tousle her hair
As she breezes through life
With hardly a care

Yes I know I girl
Who's beautiful to behold
We all know who she is
Without her name being told

If you want to get some reads
Include Deborah in your write
Poets will be stopping in
Like the dropping in of flies
The place will be all abuzz
With the clicking of the likes
If you want to get some reads
Include Deborah in your write

If your wanting to be known
Throw Deborah into the poem
Doesn't much matter what you say
It'll still have it going on
Whether you feel that this is right
Or know that it is wrong
If your wanting to be known
Throw Deborah into the poem

Sir, have you no shame
In the use of Deborah's name
This is supposed to be serious poetry
Not some popularity game
So think about this truthfully
As I ask you once again
Sir, have you no shame
In the use of Deborah's name

Mmmmmmm......not really.

Robin Hood,
Has clearly changed with the times
Giving in to the rich
As they steal the poor blind

Doesn't much care
How today's money is spent
With his dead end job
At the government

Robin Hood,
Works like a slave
With hours of overtime
On most holiday's

Spends after hours at the bar
With his merry men
Telling tall tales
Tossing back Tonic and Gin

Robin Hood.
Then goes home to his wife
Dreaming of better days
Of a better life

When he stole all he saw
Out smarting the law
Instead of tied down
To the ball and chain of his job

Robin Hood,
Figures he'll never retire
Like all the rest of this world
He'll one day just expire

Most of my time is spent in a Piggly Wiggly line
So you know the Hollywood rags I have seen
Scouring them inside out, top to bottom, back to front
I know all the skinny on all the skinny stars in-between

This day Mona in a Moo Moo says from behind me
Something about this must be done
So with the east in our rear (That doesn't sound right does it!)
Look out Hollywood California here we come

Not long after landing in Los Angeles
Before we even barely had time
We set up what "THEY" think is an organic juice hand squeezed by ******'s
and Himalayan soy Sushi bar
Out of our Hot Dog cart on the corner of Hollywood and Vine

And yes, we've added a little secret ingredient
Something to fatten those Hollywood types up
So they'll look like the rest of us in America
With the line around the block it looks like they can't get enough

With a little dab here and a little sprinkle there (wink,wink)
Our food has become the talk of the town
You'd think they would have figured it out by now
As each delicious bite adds a few extra pounds

And menu items with names like
-Add Another Roll Sushi-
Or the...
-Don't Look Behind You Sushi Surprise-
Then there's our most popular item
The -California Your **** SuperSize-

Now that we've fattened up most of the Movie Stars and then some
California's so heavy it may soon slide into the sea
With a new concoction we've developed to stimulate brain juice's
We're now taking our Hot Dog Cart to Washington D.C.

I'm not 100 percent positive
But I think my girlfriend is a spy
You might be wondering where I got this idea from
Sit back and I'll explain to you why

She gets calls on her cell phone at the oddest of hours
Tells me she must take this call because it is urgent
Whispers into the receiver, then walks out of the room
So I'm pretty sure she's a secret agent

I ask her out for dinner on the weekends
She tells me there's no way, she just can't
I figure she must be going on a secret mission
Perhaps somewhere in the South of France

I've had plenty of friends tell me they've seen her
Out at different times with different guys
She'd better be careful or she'll blow her cover
As a top notch international spy

Out of curiosity one day I did follow her
When I called and she didn't call back
I saw her at the mall with another man
Whom I assume is her main contact

They were at a corner table in the food court
Sitting together up close face to face
They didn't want any other spy's hearing their secrets
As they make for us this world a safer place

Now that you've heard all the evidence
You now know the reason why
I've come to the only conclusion
That my girlfriend is a spy

I spent most of the 70's
Beneath a disco ball
In a Leisure suit
If that don't beat all

A kid from the country
Foot loose and free
Still makes me wonder
What that did to me

Spending my days
At Furniture Mart
Assembling recliners
While loading up cars

Making daily cash money
For night's at the bar
Dancing away
Under disco ball stars

Not really sure
Who we thought we were
Or of the purpose
The 70's served

Just a reminder of
What can go wrong
If you don't pay attention
To what's going on

This seems to be a lifetime journey
I'm sure more than a few can relate
Doing my best in this formidable quest
In search of the perfect toothpaste

From grocery aisles to shopping malls
To mom and pop roadside stands
Standing in line at the 5 and dime
There's no corner that I haven't been

Looking for the flavor to which my teeth savor
From blue to green to red peppermint
I've tried bubblegum and for meat lovers, bacon
Even the new cinnamon no rinse

But it's not only the flavor that's concerning
It also has to do with the foam
While brushing my teeth in the morning
I look like a rabid dog on the roam

So it's back to the store in search of much more
I feel like Frodo Baggins the Hobbit
From top shelf to floor in this my Middle Earth
Until the elusive paste I have got it

Yes, my friend like you I'll keep trying
For the toothpaste that removes any doubt
But until then I'll toss them into the bin
Saved up for the day I caulk my house

Houston,
We seem to have a problem
Love never took off
The way we were expecting

After all the flowers
And all the money spent
We never had a go
We never made a dent

Houston,
All systems have shut down
We never could get this love affair
Up off the ground

10, 9, 8
7 and then 6
That's only as far
As this countdown went

Houston,
Could we give it another try
Isn't there a back up
Could we launch this thing at night

Although a love like this
Has been in the plan for years
All it is that we have left
Is a control room full of tears

Houston,
We seem to have a problem
Love never took off
The way we were expecting

I dream often about the circus
A place I loved to go to as a child
Mesmerized by clowns and jugglers
Enthralled by animals from the wild

As the lights dim and the spot light shines
The ringmaster steps into its glow
"Welcome one, welcome all
to the Wilkie circus show! "

That's when things take a turn
As they always do in dreams
The spotlight finds me in the crowd
As the ringmaster calls my name

I find myself in the center ring
Dressed up just like a clown
Fuzzy yellow hair, big red nose
And grandma's paisley gown!

It turns even odder I'd say as the animals parade
With heads and bodies that are mismatched
Lions with the heads of monkey's
and zebras with the smiles of Cheshire cats
It doesn't get much stranger than that!

A flash of light and everything changes
I find myself on the high wire
My balance beam a giant matchstick
And "HELP" its been lit on fire!

That's when I start twirling it like a baton
As the crowd below chants my name
You never know what will happen next
In the circus of my dreams

Are you as surprised as I to find
That Kim Kardashian is a international spy

But don't worry she's on the side of right
Working this time for the good guys

The pics that this twit tweets
Is spinning turbans around in the Middle East

Corrupting the minds of the men and their youth
As they google eye over what she let's loose

Though Miss K. is not the one to blame
It's mainly the fault of Uncle Sam

She's just doing her civic duty
In the posting of selfies in her birthday suity

I've had suspensions for years believe you me
The Kim isn't as dumb as she appears to be

Finkle Rat and Derby Cat
Opened up a specialty shop
Which was running rather smoothly
Till kids teeth began to rot

For what it was they sold were
Candy apples, Sugar Cubes, and Lemon Drops
With Fizzie Soda to make their quota
On the loaner they had got

You see the latest shipment of Fizzies
Came from the loan shark Marco Mole
To save themselves a buck or two
Our naive friends both sold their souls

And Marco doesn't care about
Any kids or their rotten teeth
Cause he also owns a piece of Charlie Cockroach
The dentist down the street

It was late into the night
When Bert Ernie and I
Were traveling across the plans of Nebraska

Much to my surprise
Bert looks me straight in the eyes
And says Mike, I gotta question to ask ya

With Big Bird wrapped up in the trunk
You'd think that he'd already thunk
About this night long before it already happened

When we took Oscar the Grouches can lid
And whacked Big Bird smack dab in the head
Then tied him up tight while he was napping

We rolled him out to curb
Believe me it looked quite absurd
Ernie grunting with Bert complaining as feathers went flying

But as would be our fate
Able to make our planed escape
When Count Von Count took time out to do some feather counting

So this is now where we are
Bert, Ernie, Me, and Big Bird in the trunk of our car
Not really knowing where it is we are heading

Our thinking went only as far
As nabbing Big Bird and the get away car
Putting Ernie in charge wasn't such a good idea is what I am betting

Ernie says he's figured it all out
Bert says we need this, but still has his doubts
Cause Bert owes back pay alimony and Ernie his ******

We head to Ernie's planed drop off spot
And of course it's swarming with cops
While our inside man " The Monster " gave us up for Cookies

They let Big Bird out of the trunk
Who proceeded to slap us punch drunk
Then straight to the judge to pay for this hideous crime

I can't think of any worse fate
I now know this was a fatal mistake
The sentence...
Banished to Sesame Street for life, now that is hard time

Steady in my walk
Taking it in stride
As I compliment my feet
With the latest style

There's a gazillion of them out there
Doing what they do
If you haven't figured it out by now
I'm talking bout the shoe

They come in many styles and dazzling colors
Giving us the widest choices
Some even come with tongues
But have yet to find their voices

Although the tongue still ***** at times
The shoe it does not show
The ignorance that comes with it
Unlike some people that I know

Another marvel of the shoe
Is that it has a sole
Unlike men when it wears thin
You can replace it on the go

In NYC they prefer the high heels
In Florida the famed flip flop
Nothing beats a good boot in Texas
When you dance that Texas stomp

So won't you join me in this tribute
To the shoe cause there's no other
Which should be praised for the lives it's saved
In it's major role as a stink foot cover

There once was a fight on my plate
In front of my face while I ate

The Broccoli on the left picked up its Spear
And stabbed the Corn on the right, right in the Ear

The Avocado Artichoked the Zucchini
Before the Pepper rang the Bell on that meanie

The Onion went to Bed on the Lettuce and cried
Afraid that the Beets on the side were all Red cause they died

The Okra came in and slimed the whole affair
While the Yams slammed and Squashed the Cauliflower

The Peas ended up with Black Eyes
Next to the Potatoes that were mashed up and fried

The Cabbage brought it all to a head
Which Steamed the Asparagus with all that was said

There once was a fight on my plate
In front of my face while I ate

ISIS is going through a crisis
Things haven't gone quite as planned
With all the youth that they recruit
There's one thing they don't understand

You see the kids are starting to miss their cell phones
Along with their snacks, their TV, and their games
They hate to drop the ball on the cause and all
But without modern technology, well that's just insane

Now ISIS you know is in crisis mode
As they quickly do all their shopping online
For the necessities that these spoiled Jihadi's need
So they can get back into the fight

Used to be money was no object
Now they are quickly going "Broke.com"
With all the cash they now spend they're having to send
To Google, eBay, and Amazon

Not to mention all the power and telephone towers
They've put up to keep the young fighters from leaving
As they sit in their tents texting their friends
While engrossed in their PlayStation 3's

Yes ISIS is now in full crisis
The enemy within, who would have thought
That it would be the modern day teenager
Guess it happens to the best of us all

They come in many different sizes
Different colors, different cuts
All purebred from Poodle planet
No mixing of Martian mutts

Innocently enough we let them into our homes
Now with too many it is to little to late
We've been taken captive without even knowing
By Poodles from Outer Space

Soon, very soon to take over it all
Ruling the world of common man
Getting us to do their bidding at every call
Has all along been their dastardly plan

Leading us to believe that we are the Masters
But what is really behind the bark
And what's up with all the tail wagging
Just waiting it out while playing their cards

And the crazed frenzy in all of the yapping
That they do while roaming in packs
Is just giving away their location
So the Mother Ship knows where they are at

As it continues to circle our planet
In the unassuming shape of a Milk-Bone
The Alien Poodles are in cahoots with Purina
Google it, you'll see I'm not wrong

Years ago they first landed in France
Where quickly they blended in
From there is where they ventured out
Into all the major Continents

Now in every corner of the world
In all of its crooks and crannies
Saying hello to those in the know wherever they go
By their Planet's greeting...the sniffing of *****

Yes, they are Poodles from Outer Space
So toss that dog a bone
If you ever wonder who is in charge
And who it is that's owned...

Most of my time is spent in Piggly Wiggly lines
So you know the Hollywood rags I have seen
Scouring them inside out, top to bottom, back to front
I know all the skinny on all the skinny stars in-between

This day Mona in a Moo Moo says from behind me
Something about this must be done
So with the East in our rear ( That doesn't sound right does it )
Look out Hollywood California here we come

Not long after landing in Los Angeles
Before we even barely had time
We set up what "THEY" think is an Organic Juice Hand Squeezed By ******'s
and Himalayan Soy Sushi Bar
Out of our Hot Dog cart on Hollywood and Vine

Of course we've added a little secret ingredient
Something to fatten those Hollywood types up
So they'll look like the rest of us in America
And with the line around the block it looks like they can't get enough

With a little dab here and a little sprinkle there (wink,wink)
Our cart has become the talk of the town
You'd think they would have figured it out by now
As each delicious bite adds a few extra pounds

With menu items with names like
Add Another Roll Sushi
or the...
Don't Look Behind You Sushi Surprise
Then there's our most popular item
The California Your **** SuperSize

Now that we've fattened up most of the Movie Stars and then some
California's so heavy it may soon slide into the sea
With a new concoction we've developed to stimulate brain juices
We're now taking our Hot Dog cart to Washington D.C.

As long as it takes
These calloused hands
To tell you their story
I could show you instead

Grab me a hammer
And a handful of nails
As I turn the page
With these calloused hands

Years in the making
Working the land
Just like my daddy
And his before him

It's just what we do
Mono a mono as men
All we go through
With calloused hands

Hear what I say
Watch what I do
This story's as old
As it is new

I thank God every day
That I still can
Through life make my way
With these calloused hands

i'm a pretender
a thin man in disguise
return to sender
with address hard pressed to find

considered a keeper
secrets about myself
i'm a deciever
some things i can not help

a reverse revolator
there are things i'll never tell
a strong detonator
wiring myself up to fail

If being beautiful was a crime
They would have locked you up long ago
Where you'd be doing hard time
Down on good looking row

The judge would take a gander at you
Ask you just what time it is
You'd look at your watch say 9 to 10
He'd say that's exactly what you get

They'd put you on a chain gang
But have to chain you to yourself
Cause when it comes to good looks
It is you and no one else

While others would be out breaking rocks
You'd be putting makeup on
As they're all sweating rivers
A cool breeze on you would blow

You would have free run of the place
Because of your good looks
With that big white smile on your face
They couldn't stand to lock you up

After awhile it'd be just you
As all the prisoners slipped out of there
Not a one of them had noticed
As all the guards just stand and stare

Yes if being beautiful was a crime
They would have locked you up long ago
Where you'd be doing hard time
Down on good looking row

Call me mad if you must
But please first hear me out
I just got back from the Cryogenics lab
And guess who's head I picked from the crowd

If your thinking Jimmy Hoffa
No, he's somewhere deep asleep in concrete
I grabbed someone much more spectacular
I grabbed the frozen head of Walt Disney

You see years ago he had himself chilled
At least that which contains the brain
The useless part they put in a casket
And far be it for me to dig up a grave

I've now got Walt packed on ice in a cooler
It wouldn't do to have his head melt
What kind of operation do you think I'm running here
Some kind of Mickey Mouse?  

First on my agenda find Mr. Disney a body
One that won't give out on him too soon
Cause once we thaw out Walt and he starts to talk
There's no telling what he'll want to do

So I let my fingers do the walking
Here's something interesting...Bodies By Jake
I just hope we find Jakes place in time
Before the ice melts and we are to late...

...talk about false advertisement!
Jake the snake didn't sell bodies at all
Walt and I are more than a little disturbed
There really should be some sort of law

Guess I should have thought this all over
Long before I thought of it now
So as a special treat I thought Mr. Disney and me
Could go see his "World", so we headed South

Standing in line to purchase tickets
The cooler shakes when Walt hears the prices by chance
No need to tell you that if he had lower extremities
He would crap them if he wore any pants

We decided to do something a little cheaper
And with a Disney movie just out today
It was kind of hard to follow along though
When all you could hear was his body spinning in the grave, miles away

Guess it's to early to try and bring back Walt Disney
Maybe one day I can try it again
But before we leave for the trip back home
We stop at the concession for diet soda and Jr. mints

Once we got back to the Cryogenics lab
They're looking for me so over the fence I let the head fly
No need to worry, one of the guard dogs grabbed it
And I'm sure drug it right back inside

I woke up this morning
Sporting a Beret
Speaking in an accent
Parlez-vous francais?

With a scarf around my neck
A pencil thin moustache
Afraid I might have woke up French
A slight giggle to my laugh

With a strong urge for fresh Baguette's
I head to the grocery
I told my cat I'd be right back
He looked at me... Cest la vie