Do you see the way she looks at me
As she asks what I'd like to eat
I'm not sure of what to say to her
But was that just a wink?

I'm not the only one standing here
That m'lady wines and dines
Yet another school year
In the Cafeteria line

You know she had me with the hair net
Matching the color of her eyes
The **** way she slops spaghetti
On the plate next to my fries

There's really not a lot
A young school boy can do
As I dream about her from breakfast to lunch
In one continuous drool

She's the Cafeteria lady
Not to keen on her collard greens
But she does serve up a mess of mean
Nachos and young school boy dreams

I hired a robot
To write poems for me
Now I'm able to rhyme
In modern technology

Though his imagination
Isn't quite up to par
The relaxation I get
Outweighs it by far

From 0 to 1
To 1 0 1
He likes to write
In binary bytes for fun

As long as the rhymes
Keep flowing from him
He can have all that is mine
From the head of my pen

If all this goes well
We'll just wait and see
But I might even hire
A robot to read poems for me

I want to live in a Norman Rockwell painting
Where I'm surrounded by the simple times
If you don't know what I mean let me explain it
It consists of front porch swings and Mom's apple pie

Sunday afternoons in Grandma's kitchen
Lazy fishing days down by the lake
Or in a Soda Shop drinking Chocolate Malts with cherries on top
As I while away the day Norman's way

Riding bikes down hills the whole time laughing
Cowboys, Indians, and Pirates all in one day
With sunsets painted red and no strangers met
No secrets kept to wanna give away

Life on parade the American way
Pride in your family and friends
Helping each other no matter race, creed, or color
Starting each meal out with an amen

Picnics at the park, hot dogs and gaming
Potato sack and three-legged racing
Nothing like today's grind taxing both the heart and mind
Which to me desperately needs replacing
With life in a Norman Rockwell painting

I must say it breaks my heart
At what  I see you going through
The trails and tribulations
That life has thrown at you

And all because you stand up
For what you know is right
Against a world that's lost in wonder
From the truth of Jesus Christ

Shunned by friends and family
All for your beliefs
With the Holy Spirit in your heart
You can't help but speak of what you see

Didn't the Lord say this would happen
What they've done to me, they'll do to you
So don't dare falter in your convictions  
As you stand up for his Truth

When the world around them crumbles (and it will)
They'll come looking for that solid rock
As they reach out for something to grab hold of
You'll be there to reach back with the hand of God

Alright no one here leaves
Until I get back my monkey
He was right here beside me
When we sat down at the bar

He got up to use the restroom
Cause my monkey is not uncouth
I KNOW he didn't just drive off
I still have the keys to the car

We were having the best of times
Telling jokes and making up zoological rhymes
He even passed around that picture
You know the one with the orangutan in that embarrassing position

That's the last time I saw him
My monkey...my best friend
Will somebody help me look please
These tears have all but blurred my vision

I've now checked every zoo on the East coast
Every circus that I know
Thinking perhaps he was monkeynapped
By some clown or zoological freak

I haven't seen hide nor hair
Of a clean shaven monkey in underwear
I told you he wasn't uncouth
My monkey learned that from me

These days I cry in my beer
Since my monkey's no longer here
I guess Doodles had better things
To do with his life

If my monkey, Doodles you ever do see
Will you tell him I miss him oodles for me
And that I've accepted the fact that he's not coming back
And that I'll be alright...

After dining at the finest of Maw and Paw restaurants
Frequented by men in trucks
Outside I slipped on the gravel drive
And as would be my luck

The LARGE cowboy belt I'm so proud of
Latched on and then got stuck
Now I'm off to see America
From the front grill of a Big Mac Truck

From the plains of Plano, Texas
To the hills of Hoboken Plantation, Tennessee
There's not to many places
That Big Mac Truck did not take me

To other motorists I was Mr. Friendly
With my arms flapping in the wind
They all would honk and wave and smile
As I smiled back with my bug filled grin

For weeks and weeks we went from coast to coast
Hollywood, California is where I made my mark
Someone happened to take my picture
Which made me an instant star

So I hooked my buckle to the front of a limo
As crowds started to recognize me
A Big Mac Truck would no longer do
When your a Big Time Celebrity

I was on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno
He interviewed me from a parking lot
The limo would not fit on the couch
Plus I can't get the buckle to unlock

Now when my limo pulls up to crosswalks
Pedestrians ask for my autograph
Before the light turns green and me and the bumper we  leave
I tell a few jokes and we share a few laughs

As life's fortunes would have it
I can't believe my luck
The day I tripped on that gravel drive
And fell into the grill of that Big Mac Truck

Sunny and Stormy Weather
Were sisters through and through
They did everything together
Morning, night, and noon
They hung outside most all the time
Cause that's what Weather sisters do

Sunny and Stormy Weather
Closer than any friend
Both knowing what really matters
Though they still have they're differences
They hung tight to what was right
Wouldn't let those differences do them in

Sunny Weather loved to smile
The way sunny people do
Catches on after awhile
Changes the attitude
Sunny's disposition brightened those who looked and listened
But then again that's what sunny people do

Not so with Stormy Weather
She never found much to smile about
Though her sister dearly loves her
That's the difference between them no doubt
They both get along like birds in song
That's not hard to figure out

Sunny and Stormy Weather
Were sisters through and through
They did everything together
Morning, night, and noon
They hung outside most all the time
Cause that's what Weather sisters do

One sunny day at the central zoo
Biff the gorilla grabbed the zoo keepers key
Before the employees had even a clue
Went and set all the animals free

Started out on Monkey Island
With the Orangutans and Chimpanzees
With the Giraffe's next in line
Cause they needed someone to see over the tops of the trees

When they were  through letting their friends loose
And all the keepers locked up in their place
They hit the streets and before anyone knew
The entire human race was in a cage

Now the animals are doing their very best
As  members of society at large
Still life is a mess if you haven't already guessed
Shouldn't have left the baboons in charge

With the pressures in life starting to show
Half the animal kingdom now in therapy
No one told them so they didn't know
That life in a cage was actually free

While the people enjoy themselves at the zoo
Three solid meals and all the naps they can take
Sunning themselves by the wading pool
Never wanting to go back to the so called good old days

Guess no matter which side you are on
The other side always looks better to you
Just remember if the time ever does come
Where ever you find that you're at...life is a zoo

what's the sense in reminiscing
being the one that's left behind
when all your friends go missing
by way the art of dying

when you reach the fold of much too old
to want to carry on
if truth be known out loud was told
all your friends are gone

what's the sense in reminiscing
if all you do is cry
no need to waste time guessing
when you know the reason why

when the world moves into season
where all it knows is cold
in its quest best be believing
that you're the next to go

what's the sense in reminiscing
if all you have are last goodbyes
trying to keep the secret hidden
that death is a part of life

you find this section hard to row
being the last one in the boat
what's the sense in reminiscing
when you can barely stay afloat

Jolly brings a smile to the crowd
Circus life is what it's all about
As children laugh out loud in their play
Case in point it's another Jolly day

A world of smiles is Jolly's goal in life
If you smile once he'll try his best at twice
Down in the dumps you should be circus bound
There to lift you up is Jolly the Circus Clown

But when the laughter dies and the smiles all end
Jolly sits in front of his T.V. in his darkened den
Eating wrapped up tin plate dinners all alone
Jolly is not jolly when Jolly's at home

He's been doing this for quite awhile
It's a shame that Jolly can't make his own self smile...

She ain't nothing but a cereal killer
She's ****** with a gallon of milk
If you need convincing, Cap'n Crunch is still missing
And that Chocula guy is down for the Count

She ain't nothing but a cereal killer
Gets her Kix pulling off her Trix
As she bids them Cheerio being more in the know
Than a bowl of FrankenBerry buried below Honey Oh's

She ain't nothing but a cereal killer
Winning them over with her Lucky Charms
No way to deny she eats them alive
As she Frosts Tony the Tiger like Corn

She ain't nothing but a cereal killer
Finds pleasure in the Shredding of Wheat
Using Fruity Pebbles to go along with her evil  
As she spoons out her ***** deeds

She ain't nothing but a cereal killer
Easily making history out of Rice Krispy treats
What ever you do keep an eye on her Fruit Loops
That kind of crazy nobody needs

Pork Rind, Oh Pork Rind
As I reach in your bag
I am truly amazed
At the flavor you have

I know where you come from
Just don't know where you've been
After all the truth is
You are a pigs skin

You often come with a bonus
I am seldom at loss
The piece with the hair
Which in the end I can floss

Wish I was a hood ornament
On a 58' Ford Fairlane
With my face pointed to the West
On a lone Texas highway

Where I can feel the engines hum
As it purrs under me
A 58' Ford Fairlane hood ornament
Is what I want to be

A 58' Ford Fairlane hood ornament
Feeling the freedom of the wind
The coolness of the metal
The metallic of the skin

Enjoying every moment
Bringing on the glory of day
Riding on the hood
Of a 58' Ford Fairlane

There's a little known sport
That is played in the South
If you ain't from round here
You may know nothing about

It is played by the old
Enjoyed by the young
Quite the crowd pleaser
This salting of slug

So grab the favorite of minerals
And your crystal shakers
Try not to view this
As demented behavior

You can taste the excitement
On this game de jour
Hold steady the Morton's
Get ready to pour

Scream like a banshee
Jump up and down
As we watch the slugs
Turn inside out

The best of Southern shakers
Come into play
With the salting of slugs
On slug salting day

She's such a smooth talker
She could talk the rust right off of a nail
Given a chance at a Saturday dance
She could talk the slow out of a snail

I saw her wake up one morning
And talk the sun into sharing its shine
Then she went into the garden
And talked the melon right out of its rind

We went down to the ocean
Where she talked the blue out of the sea
That's the day I remember
She talked the love straight into me

My girl, she could talk a flower
Into giving its fragrance away
She could also talk the words out
Of a mute man with nothing to say

I took her to the park
She talked the kanga right out of the roo
That's the day she talked me
Into saying I love you

I've even seen my baby
Talk an ant out of its picnic lunch
One day on the side of the highway
A hitchhiker gave her his thumb

Whenever she plays storm chaser
This girl talks the wind out of its breeze
But she's not the only smooth talker
I talked her into marrying me

Could we consider this point a crossroad
Where we either turn left, right, or go straight
Taking us all in a different direction
Take us all to another place

Could we rise and call each other brother
Learn to love instead of fight
Have respect for one another
Give each other the benefit of doubt in life

Not place judgement based on falsehoods
Especially the color of ones skin
Black or Red, White or Tan
No matter a persons pigment

Realize it's not the outside that matters
But loves depth within a mans heart
Here were we stand now at this crossroad
Which way should we go and who's going to start

If you'd care to help
I'm saving up cans
With the brilliant idea
To build an aluminum can friend

One that shines bright
That never will rust
In whom I share secrets
One I can trust

He'll have Coca-Cola arms
And Dr. Pepper legs
Non-caffine Sprite
I'll use for his head

Don't want my aluminum can friend
To have jitters all day
Restless at night
Staying up late

I'll give him Pepsi hands
That are willing to please
So when I do chores
He can help me

For my friend on the go
I'll give Mountain Dew feet
A couple Red Bull
If I decide to do wings

And an idea that is good
Would be a Fanta heart
For a colorful beat
With all the flavors there are

So if you'd like to help
I'm saving up cans
With the brilliant idea
To build an aluminum can friend

I just bought a turkey
In dire need of tenderize
Also a quick summer thaw
As this chick's as cold as ice

Must have froze it in the tundra as
I dive deep into the internet
Where it's got me wondering
Why I myself didn't think of this

It says to tie up both its legs
With a nylon stringy thingy
Hey! Get that out your head!
This ain't nothing *****!

Hook the turkey to the bumper
And take it for a ride
I watched it from my rear view
And mirror on the side

I watched it twirl and tumble
I watched it twist and shout
I watched it as it changed its shape
From inside into out

I thought I heard it gobble
As it bounced itself along
Checking progress at every red light
Tenderized...yes, but not yet thawed

The roads must be colder this year
Then at first, I thought
I hop back into my jalopy
For a few more jaunts around the block

I make it back to my place
Thinking all is perfect all is well
Untie the turkey, if that's what it is
It's a little hard to tell

Now with that part of the preparation done
With the turkey and I safe back home
I plop it into the waiting oven
And gently turn it on

Here we are a few hours later
As the conversations and good times begin
Sitting around the dinner table
My guests all marvel at my hen

There's only one slight question
And they asked me if I knew
I reply...why yes that is white meat
It's just a tad bit bruised

There's soon to be a hangin'
They've raised the gallows high
The Barker Boys are getting their just deserves
They'll soon be swinging side by side

They're testing the trap doors as we speak
A sound that always gives me the chills
Them boys should of left well enough alone
And let God do his own will

You see they killed a man in Texas
Over a cheatin' game of cards
Caught those murderous thieves this side of Dallas
Where it is they didn't get very far

Didn't get very far in their run
Sure enough didn't get far in this life
The mean streak runs deep in their blackened hearts
Straight to the Devils right side

So here we are at the day of the hangin'
It's quite a crowd that's gathered now
The party atmosphere is contagious
But ain't that what a hangin's all about

They faced each other in death
The same way they face each other in life
With a twist of one rope to the left
And a twist of one rope to the right

Today is going to be the day
I turn my life around
As I pull my truck over
To load up what I just found

I see it as my destiny
Someone tossed out their set of weights
With me at the moment in the mood
To join the fitness craze

So I open up, run around my truck
As my regiment begins
Wish I could find some neighbor kid
To give this old man a hand
And why they make these weights so heavy,
I'll never understand

I drive straight home excited
Back my truck down the drive
I'll haul the stuff in later
As soon as my arms come back to life

3 hours later...

Carrying what's soon to be the new me
From the truck into the house
To late to clinch the **** cheeks
As my entire spine just fell out

3 months later...

Still in intensive care
And mounting chiropractic bills
I'm thinking of just going the new American way
And get my muscles from taking pills

People often say now I understand
When they hear that I'm from Paree
Not Gay Paree silly, but redneck
In the heart of Tennessee

I am the newest style of hairdressers
Here to lay out all the facts
I no longer work on the tops of heads
But straight out of the pits

It all happened when I got bored
With the every day to day
Trimming of the head left me feeling dead
That's when it hit me..."Underarm Braid"

That right there was my life saver
That right there was my turn around
If it didn't make me world famous
At least it did on this side of town

Now people come from as far as Nashville
To have their underarms done
I even gave a left and right pit Mohawk
To the Governor's daughter and son

What? Did you think I only braided?
There's so much more that I can do
Just ask the Punk Rock Chick's that wait in line
To have their armpits colored blue

My older clientele have let there hair grow out
Since it is they learned
I'm now specializing in for both women and men
Their favorite sets and perms

So feel the freedom of the pits
That hippie chicks have long since known
Here at Michael's Salon Of Pits
We'll do something special with that growth

1, 2, 3, jump to conclusions
Before a thing is said
Wrong or right, we pick a side
There's not a lie we haven't met

From that point we justify
All we think we see
Blind leading blind most of the time
We tend to find we're not that deep

1,2,3, jump to conclusions
Is what we mostly do
With the meter that we're using
You blame me while I blame you

Everything these days it seems
We take it to extremes
From a slight rage to full blown hate
Our Modus Operandi if you ask me

1,2,3, jump to conclusions
Before we even know the facts
The conclusion I've come up with is
I find it all rather sad

Blackbird oh Blackbird
Where is your proud song
I heard you sing in the sixties
Aren't you still downtrodden and all

Have you grown complacent
Did they clip your wings
I marched with your Fathers
They wouldn't hear of such a thing

Why was it they suffered
If not for the chance to be free
They had their eyes on the future
Is this what they wanted to see

The cage that contains you
The latch is on the inside
Blackbird in you is the power
To take freedoms ride

Blackbird oh Blackbird
Where is your proud song
If you'll sing it again
This time we'll all sing along

I have had this question
That's been bouncing in my head for quite some time
So while I'm at it I just thought
I might as well ask it in rhyme

Out of all the Disney characters
I feel compelled to ask
How come Pluto is the only one
That ended up getting the shaft

Let's start this off with Mickey
Who rules the Magic Kingdom with all of his might
Although with that high squeaky voice
I believe his underwear is notched a tad to tight

Then there's Daisy and Donald
Whom I can barely understand
It still though is quite clear to me
They speak in a language known to man

Poor ole Pluto I wonder
What goes through his mind
While his tongue is lolly gagging
With his tail keeping in time

And what about that Goofy
Who can barely dress himself
That dog carries on conversations
Even when there's no one else

So go ahead I tell you
Take a look at the whole batch
And you tell me that Pluto
Is not the one that got the shaft

While I'm thinking about it
There's the planet Pluto out on the edge
When did we decide to kick it off
Of our planetary ledge

But I digress because  it's Disney
To whom I throw this question at
But believe you me it's NASA
Who will be at the center of my next rant

So out of all the questions in my life
That I have ever asked
There is no simple answer to why
Pluto got the shaft

On Peyote Highway

The lanes go this way and that
Purple haze sunset to the left
The radio changes itself

On Peyote Highway

The flowers all try to hitch rides
With thumbs held high in the sky
While cactus ride by on their bikes

On Peyote Highway

Rainbow clouds speak in foreign tongue
The Koala Bear next to you ***** his thumb
The clown on the hood chews Juicy Fruit gum

On Peyote Highway

Skeletons rattle their bones in the back
Constantly asking are we there yet
As mimes mouth hello from the ditch

On Peyote Highway

You travel in both space and time
Take the pedal off the metal of your mind
Set the scenery to always rewind

On Peyote Highway

Everyday I have lunch
With a pink hippopotamus
The menus always the same
Tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches
Oh, and Diet Cherry Coke
Cause he likes the way it tickles his throat

His friends sometimes stop by
To join the both of us
Hippopotami
If you're talking more than one of us
Or Hippo for short
If you're not into funny sounding words

Sometimes after lunch
Me and my friend the pink Hippopotamus
Like to take a drive
To the beach in his Minibus
He loves to catch the rays
Plus hang ten on a few waves

If you ever care for lunch
Feel free to join me and my Hippopotamus
But only if you like
Tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches
Because it's all that he will eat
Which is fine by me
Makes for easy cooking and cleaning

Lost in time and lost in space
Separated from the human race
It gets so hard to breath up here
Orbiting through this atmosphere

I did not truly understand
What all was involved with Rocket Man

The World below is just a globe
Staring time away out this lone port hole
I miss my family I miss my friends
The normality in which I once lived

But space and science called out my name
Now here I am as Rocket Man

I wonder do they remember me
Am I the falling star that used to be
Moving out beyond in bounds and leaps
No more now than a distant memory

This new frontier, this no man's land
Never to come down again
This certainty wasn't in my plan
This lonely orbit as Rocket Man

If everything was perfect
And life was but a breeze
I'm not sure exactly
How that would feel to me

If life was but a song
That we all could hum along
I'm not sure how right that'd feel
If something was not wrong

If everything was right side up
And not a thing was upside down
Would we ever really know
When the good times roll around

Can we take this opportunity
To realize what we should know
How things would not feel right
If something was not wrong

If you're late coming to this party
In the perfection that you seek
How on earth can you be happy
If you never have a need

I believe they both go hand in hand
Never travel far alone
Because right would not feel right
If something was not wrong

Over a cup of morning java
Scanning my daily mail
I came upon an advertisement sheet
That exclaimed in BOLD rainbow pastel

Grand opening of a store that has everything
On the corner of Daisy and William Tell
The one thing I saw that interested me
Is they were having a back to "60's"  Hippie sale

Of course I stopped what it was I was doing
Hopped in my Lexus and left right away
The excitement had my heart all in a flutter
This I guarantee is going to be a good day

They weren't kidding when they said they sold it all
I'd been wandering the store for quite a while
That's when I came to what it was I had come here for
Before me in trippy little colors, the hippie aisle

So I bought me a couple colorful hippies
With my 25% coupon I was able to save
The Hippies even  came with a bonus
Fresh cut flowers and Jefferson Airplane tapes

When I got home I showed them to their room
Black light posters and colored beads hung from the door
As luck would have it I bought an Indian hemp rug
From Pier One just the day before

They taught me transcendental meditation
While I taught them both how to bathe
Their lessons broadened the mind
My lessons the nostrils saved

I soon had a groovy little hippie pad
In which organic vegetables and enlightenment grew
We'd sit around crossed legged in a  purple haze at night
Playing psychedelic tunes on our Kazoo's
And I was pretty good too! Who Knew!

Yes, a house of happy hippies
Is a happy hippie house indeed
Especially when Wendy Crystal Sky...Yes, that's her name
Brews her famous dandelion tea

I highly recommend the purchase of hippies
I couldn't be any happier with mine
Sure beats the punk rockers I got on close out last year
But that my friend is another tale for another time...

A job to big for mere mortals
This time round magic is a must
So many new poems it's overwhelming
She knows to bring extra fairydust

That little nymph of a fairy
Takes it in stride with grace and ease
Tosses an extra handful of her magic dust
Into the poetic breeze

It knows just where it is going
Just as it knows from whence it came
In the mystery of the magic
fairy and the dust are one and the same

From her throne on high the poems bring to her new life
Blessed she feels she's counted
Though the fairy's main concern is to bless in return
That is all she has ever wanted

I try to keep things simple
In my simple day to day
Simple in the way I walk
Simple in the things I say

I always try to think good
Good in everything I see
Good in everything I hear
The good in everybody

If I can keep this standard
Hold tight this philosophy
I am hoping all in life
Will go well for them and me

I try to love with all my heart
To keep rooted to the ground
I try my best to play every part
In what comes around goes around

As I try and keep it simple
Makes it all much easier to figure out
In what I go through, everything that I do
A complicated life doesn't go over so well

Being a girl *****! :(
I'm one big ball of emotion
Being tossed back and forth
On the waves of this female ocean

Just when I say I'm doing okay
Another tsunami comes along
Washing away the sanity I saved
Swept out to sea, it's gone

Being a girl *****! :(
All the makeup that we wear
Who are we trying to impress anyways
And do those jerks out there really care

All they do is treat me like a piece of meat
With desert on the side
Would you like some tears with that
It doesn't take much these days to make me cry

Being a girl *****! :(
With some of the things we have to wear
This over the shoulder boulder holder
Wasn't built for comfort that's for sure

And is it already that time of month again
I've about had it with these cramps
If I hear another man explain my mood to me
I swear I'm going to reach up and pull his tongue out through his...

Being a girl *****! :(
But one thing that I can say
It sure as heck beats being a man
Where stupidity always gets in the way

There's no reasonable explanation
To how this all went down
When the world woke up one morning
All made up as clowns

Not a single person in the world
Did this phenomenon not claim
With big red buttons on their chests
Spelling out new funny names

There was Patches and Petunia
Floppy and Cupcake
Winky and Bumper the Clown
Were just a few that they displayed

Everyone went about their business
Only now they all carpooled
You could see clowns piling out of cars everywhere
From businesses to stores to schools

Crime it did die down
Because all the guns that people have
Instead of shooting bullets
Shoot out brightly colored Big Bang Flags

Of course the circus lost its glamour
With an audience made up of clowns
It's hard to tell who's there enjoying
And who's entertaining all the crowds

People stopped taking each other seriously
Over anything they had to say
Pointing at each other and laughing
As they go about their day

Who knew a thing like this would happen
When the world went to bed last night
That the very next morning
They'd wake up clowns for life

Oh, I almost forgot the Politicians
Were the only ones to stay the same
It's already a simple known fact
*When your a clown you don't need to change

Just the other day
I met Robert Goulet

I was surprised a bit
The way his mustache twitched

A mind of its own
Like in the Twilight Zone

Jumping right off his face
His mustache ran away

Teeny boppers next door
Giggled out of control

As Roberts mustached jumped
Landing in someones lunch

That's when the Maítre ď
Let out a girly scream

Quite an embarrassment
To all us burly men

Then throughout the day
The mustache of Robert Goulett

Made a name for itself
As it ventured about town

His mustache all could see
Has a tinder streak

Helping old ladies out
To get across the street

Why it even saved a cat
Giving all its nine lives back

Pulled it from a tree
That was burning excessively

At that same moment saved the town
Itself from burning down

But that story's much to long
To try to abound

The town was so impressed
They trimmed up the mustache

Of Robert Goulett
Then gave it a ticker tape parade

After that they named a street
Because of its heroic feat

If it had two hands to greet
Would have handed it the city's key

And if the mustache could talk at all
Would have given the greatest speech

If Roberts mustache had only known
It'd do this good out on its own

It would have left the upper lip
Along time ago

Conspicuous Consumption
Look at all I have
I've got money burning
In this power grab
Between the haves and have nots
I'm one of the haves
Enjoying this life of luxury
Sitting in its lap

Conspicuous Consumption
Take a breath and breath in deep
Take as many as you want
Although this stuff ain't cheap
Money is no object
It means nothing to me
Now that you ask, yes Virginia
Money does grow on trees

Conspicuous Consumption
In this world of give and take
If it's no longer suitable
It becomes throw away
Even if you tire of it
No need for it to break
Conspicuous Consumption
The phrase of the day

I've spoke of the Pork Rind
And my love for it's crunch
Now I must give due credit
To whom I'm having for lunch

The Pig or the "Porkster"
In my circle he's fondly called
But to all the outsiders
He is simply known as the Hog

He comes in many flavors
Bacon, Chitlins, or Ham
There's even an air of mystery
In the can known as Spam

He's at all the major holidays
The guys a Rock Star
Those sweet on him call him Honey Ham
Oh.....you know who you are

Why he's even in China
Where the Royal Family has succumbed
I hear the Emperor's pet name for him is
Pork Egg Foo Young

Well I could go on for days
Talking about that little feller
But could you please pass the Mustard
......preferably the Yeller

If you want to get some reads
Include Deborah in your write
Poets will be stopping in
Like the dropping in of flies
The place will be all abuzz
With the clicking of the likes
If you want to get some reads
Include Deborah in your write

If your wanting to be known
Throw Deborah into the poem
Doesn't much matter what you say
It'll still have it going on
Whether you feel that this is right
Or know that it is wrong
If your wanting to be known
Throw Deborah into the poem

Sir, have you no shame
In the use of Deborah's name
This is supposed to be serious poetry
Not some popularity game
So think about this truthfully
As I ask you once again
Sir, have you no shame
In the use of Deborah's name

Mmmmmmm......not really.