I ‘ve been kicked out,
Pushed like a newborn out of the womb,
I didn’t cry, so I was spanked,
No one was left in the room, not even the mother.

I tried to crawl,
But my limbs were not ready,
I cried for the nurse,
She came back with a labeled plastic,
I was scared of what it meant,
I still wore it.

You're full to the rim,
Trivial opinions swim the sea of your innocuous intentions,
Some drown, as your beliefs grow like rice,
Your opinion is prized above all,
Everyone around you is ill-fitted for independent thought,
Near you, my mind remains locked and my teeth bite on blocks of gauze,
May no word escape me.

I'm captivated by the red hues that possess the room,
In the center of a throbbing heart
The sight of apple peel and red wine,
I kneel,
Worshiping the white sun that shines through new velvet curtains,
Gifting me the painful landscape.

I wondered if, indeed, I had been placed as some old plaster card in a fist-sized heart,
In my newfound home, I believed this was the wounded heart of the world,
I happened to be drenched in blood, as more of it rushed into my nostrils,
Eyelids shut, mouth sewn,
Can't keep the blood at bay.

Drop the coin,
I said tails; heads now.

I know, I changed,
My mind, etched.

No. I'm heads now,
May you, my dear, be tails,
Wrap them around my neck,
Trap the flowing river in me,
**** me at once. Let me die,
For I am life. Death in flesh.

I Write,
I throw meaningless symbols,
As they land on a legal pad, I crumble,
At the sight of a powerful landscape,
Destruction. My desire,
I want a sharp "t" cutting my throat,
I long to fasten an "l" around my arm,
To tug the remaining sides,
To infuse myself with the ink of a big "o,"
To grab the "g" of a "good night,"
To steal all words from the eternal white sun,
To never let go,
I want them all,
Written on my body.

I'd be a fool if I suffered for love,
I'd be a fool if I listened too closely
To your stern voice,
To your demands.