Ripples on the surface,
light shined through
though
always too black to see beneath.
I've felt this way, before;
I've seen the haze and
walked within the maze and
been buried beneath the sand and
and
and
and
this isn't a dream we weave, though, it's all too much to ignore;
And all my friends, they always seem to leave;
perhaps I seem a bore.
I tried to open that
amazing door
and be within the beautiful mind
that beautiful time
which some have called "Memory,"
others "Past," "Happiness," "Solace,"
"Escape,"
though,
all I may call it now is
"What Was Once But Now Is Dead."
I see red
streaming before my eyes,
screaming into my frontal lobe
just a dream to the wise
but to a fool a deadly probe;
a seedling foully planted
within the loamy soil of the mind,
it had been granted passage
as each root unwinds.
I know I've felt this way, before,
though I can't know what's in store,
I haven't read the yore nor
that most evil, ancient lore
so all I want is more.
I must be ignored.
I must be killed.
Burn me.
Light me on fire.
Stack my rusty bones upon the pyre.
Give to me the power of the Sun,
you my planet that slowly drifts away.
I see red
I see fire
I see great flames a-dancing
I see the Sun
I see life
I see redemption and
I see it shut right in my miserable face.
I see you continue to float on off
into the empty darkness of unreachable
space
those unimaginable distances like
the passages between Memory,
Past, Happiness, Solace,
Escape.
I see you wind on off through
the narrow hallways of my frontal lobe
finally turning back before my face.
I see the terrible, pregnant eclipse
of your body before my body,
rocky to red-hot Sun,
take to my heart like an ellipse
.
.
.
I've been naughty
I am on the run
.
.
.
No light shines through here,
no ripples on inky landscapes
.
.
.
It is dark.
                 .
                  .
                   I have no light,
                   I have no Sun,
                I have no planets,
                 I have no dream,
              I have no memories.
                                                  .
   ­                                                .
                                                    I lose it all
                                          and yet I keep losing.
                                                         ­                       .
                                                                                  .
                                                    ­                                I still feel like a dream inside, though
                                                                                                    I know it's merely
                                                                                      What Was Once But Now Is Dead.
                                                           ­                                                                 ­                    .
                                           ­                                                                 ­                                  .
                             ­                                                                 ­                                                  .
             ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­     .
                                                          ­                                                                 ­                               .
                                ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­ .
                                                               ­                                                                 ­                                               .
                                                               ­                            .     .     .                                                    .
          ­                                                                 ­                  death                       .
                                                               ­    .
.

I am clean and empty
I took my fathers advice
Slowed it to a crawl and
Now I hear the song hidden among silence

Cicada
Teach me the song
For *** and darkness
I whistle all along the notes
Rhythmic sweet and somber
Tones envelope

If I could once
Just once dream
Of hands so delicate caressing
The chords of sinew dance once more
As eyes so graceful lull me onward
Into darkness
Unafraid

So now I lie again among
The brambles gazing o the stars
A crescent moon caught so
Who am I to dare this fate?
What eternal price must I pay
To gaze upon such beauty

She fell asleep thinking not of her
Boyfriend, but of the moon
Like the tides, her
Passions were tied to its
Waxing and waning
At its fullest she could
See around corners
Identify people not just by
Sight, but by scent
She watched, enraptured, as her
Fingernails grew and sharpened before
Her eyes
And for maybe
Not quite the first time
She felt alive

The strange symptoms
Of her youth
The pawprints in the
Yard, the lust for Jack
London, the undercooked meat
Calling the moon by her
Boyfriend's name
When her phone was ringing
With his number lighting up the screen
Calling her boyfriend
The moon
And thinking about sinking her
Teeth into him
The people who loved her
Pushing for a lock up
Questioning her sanity
The people who loved her
Trying to understand

It was all so
Unsettling, it was all so
Mindbending how much louder the
Wild called to her
And how it knew her name
Without any introductions
And naturally her instincts
Took over
And supernaturally her instincts
Wanted flesh

Finally it was just two
Wolf hearts
Beating in the
Dark, all those wild
Thoughts racing across
America and destiny was
Manifesting itself faster
Than they could chase after it

She had turned him and
There was no going back
Just forward into that
Rabid
Unnatural
Unknown
Forward into that
Toothy grin

I am king of cart b4 the horse-intrepidity in the golden silence
But I am also a little white rabbit.
I sit
Upon the solitude waiting to find meaning
And just then my old friend walks in

His name is Robert but that is unimportant
He once sold his furniture for blues
And his wife was not happy when she got home
From hot vacation

This is none of our buisness
But she whisper whisper anyway
Until her words trailed off
Sobs

Old Robert came to work today
You see he did my job b4 me and you know that he could do a much finer job than I.
Much finer.

You see he slept alone in a twin bed sweating for weeks
He he he
Ha ha so much sweat to get off the pills
But he couldn't take the old sick, poor rob
His bones ached


He looks at me
As if I were a river rat heaved soaking wet upon the shore (sober) before his feet
Heaving for a breath of that **** air
I'm no better than him
My bones felt like they were froze solid once
And I had thick nightmares  so vivid
I once climbed up on that horse
It was not so easy to climb down

His wife said goodbye
And his two little girls played in the back seat
He didn't care because he had Ace on speedial

He played good guy
Mr. Clean but that saying about:
Once a ******
Until she let him sleep on the queen sized matress
Next to her again
His little darlings lie awake reading by flashlight



Here he stands before me
And I am tempted to ask for a hook
(Just one ******* dilauded is that too much to ask just one come on  ive been really good I deserve it djdjdksksndjajam ndiejsoskzndjdkskabxhiencbcnrjrjfnrjeisn ego)
He shows me how to do my job the right way
You have to do it like this
Like this like this like this
******' geek I will punch your lights out
As if u would feel it eh?

His pupils were too narrow to fit a pin through
And his hands shook
The old wonderful itch
Oh YES!
Here and there
Upon the neck
The back of the knee
The bicep etc.

I could see it
I could smell and taste the old life on him
The familiar buzzing that seemed to dance on the end of his hair
A fresh track mark on the top of the left hand
I am no better than rob
But he is better than me
I hate him in my heart a thick cancer malignant spreading as rainclouds
Through the soul

I love him brother lets go to south beach and buy out Ace
And I love you. I want to climb inside oblivion and **** me

Oh delicious wedge

When you come to be no more

My heart aches with need

after my heart broke,
my veins looked like the poems
he wrote on my back.

inside is sugar
and spice, but nothing else nice
until the *** comes.