I told myself
I'd forget
every moment
every laugh
that I shared
with you.

But as I
lay awake
at 3am
I find it hard
to let go of
my best
memories.

You talked about him
with your heart melting
into your words.

You looked at him
with stars shining and
twinkling in your eyes.

Now you talk about him
with disgust and a
sudden hatred.

And your eyes no longer
twinkle, but leak the tears
of what was not meant to be.

It's like there's a wall
between all who try to help me
and my broken self.
And each time they get closer
my wall gets thicker.

Will I ever be okay?

It becomes very hard to make decisions
when everything and everyone tells me
its not right.
But my heart just wont give up.

It has rained for the past few days. The clouds have hung low and water darkened my world. The cold seeped through my coats and the wind constantly attacked.

But today I saw the sun. The ground is drying up and the water is fading. The cold doesn't hurt as much and the wind is much softer.

As much as I love the rain, I feel like this is a new beginning for me. One where I get to see the light everyday. One where I am thankful to be alive.

I can't help but feel like
a little fish
in an enormous ocean
whenever I see you.

I've never felt so alone.