I regret everything.
I regret my decision to stay in sports,
give it one last shot to live out my dreams.
I regret twisting my knee.
I regret tearing my ACL and meniscus.
I regret having surgery.
Because if I could go back now and change it all from the beginning,
I wouldn't be here.
Stuck laying in my bed for at least two weeks
with my my leg sensitive and in pain.
Nothing to do but sleep and watch movies all day long.
I regret giving my life away for these three months
to make my knee heal.
I regret everything
because
I just want my life back.

What was your first thought when we met?
What were your thoughts when I tried my best to explain math to you?
What were your thoughts about our conversations?
The ones that involved laughter,
****** innuendos,
speaking of our favorite hobbies
and other various details about ourselves,
and the begging of hanging out?
What ran through your head as you asked me to help you
go to the bathroom?
What were you thinking when we ran into each other in public?
What were you thinking when we made plans to hang out?
What went through your head when we shared a hug?
What did your mind do when our faces were frozen
two inches apart?
What ran through your **** mind when
you all together stopped talking to me,
stopped returning my texts and calls?
What were your thoughts when we would see each other
after you dropped me?
The times you would always look at me with guilt,
and see me faking my emotions?
though you didn't know that
A moment's thought can change it all.
It can prove the simplest meanings of the most complicated analogies and situations.
What were your moments thoughts?
Tell me,
and I'll tell you mine.

You were going to teach me to snowboard
and watch me fall on my ***
uncountable times and laugh until I threw a snowball at your face.
I was going to watch you longboard as I licked the $2 ice cream cone I'd bought.
The one you insisted on licking before boarding off into the sunset.
It hurts that we act like none of this ever happened
because you didn't even tell me you were leaving.
You didn't get to see the makeup run down my face
or the tears escape my eyes.
I don't get to know the reason you left me alone.
Even though we act like we're both fine,
are you off feeling lonely
wondering where I am?
Because we up and dropped those dreams we once shared.
And though we act like we're both fine,
It's easy for me to put up a front
and act it all out.

It was you and me, baby
but that's not the case anymore.
My hair is in a loose knot atop my head
from a days activities.
Strands of my bangs and loose pieces
fly in the circulation of air around the room.
I couldn't think of a reason to stay and try,
besides the fact that I wasn't scared.
I never cared what people thought,
and now won't be the start.
Maybe I'm better off being sorry
than I would've been if I had played it safe.
Are you trying to be the hero
and save me from this heartbreak?
Thinking ignorance is bliss
when it really isn't.
Are you just being a shallow human being
that I once believed you weren't?
Things felt like they were going good
and then the bad thing took its toll.
I'm not the angel I used to be,
but you aren't the cause.
Possibly a piece to the puzzle of making me who I am,
though.
Should I be happy that I wasn't afraid
or
should I be sorry that I didn't play it safe?
I've said my piece.
There's nothing left to say.