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maybella snow Jul 2013
sometimes i think
you suspect              
            that i lie
when you ask if i'm
"okay"

and i nod                    
and smile                              

                                          of course i am
                                                                                       lying
i'm scared of you            
knowing the truth
maybella snow Jul 2013
10 words


*i'd be the happiest person ever, if you woke here
i wish and dream and pray this every time i fall asleep
maybella snow Aug 2013
they always do
they always will
there's no holding the past
it's gone too quick
memories are all just
that, memories
maybella snow Jun 2013
once upon a time                                            
you promised never, ever                  
to hurt me                                                      

once upon a time          
you promised never, ever                    
to let anyone else hurt me            

once upon a time                                        
you hurt me                        
and let everyone else hurt me too                              

once upon a time                  
i loved you                                              
and you loved me too                        

:.:.:.:
this is just a thought, not about anyone
maybella snow Jul 2013
"poems" i've written in a week
                 -wow i'm self absorbed-
maybella snow Jul 2013
men
jump,
swarming
away
from
the
safety
of
their
transportation.
heavy
packs
and
uniforms,
tension
fills
the
silence
like
an
overflowing
bucket.
squads
continue
to
pour
out,
onto
the
sand
and
up
the
bank.
there
is
still
silence;
people
hold
their
breaths,
waiting.
men
are
told
to
climb;
these
direct
orders
remain
quiet.
a
few
men
venture
out,
and
then
when
nothing
happens
more
follow.
they
scout
the
area,
believing
it’s
safe.
an
explosion
erupts
and
clumps
of
soil
fly
into
the
air,
men
collapse.
the
sounds
of
gunfire
are
close,
small
dots
blinking
out
from
grass
and
small
mounds.
exactly one hundred words, wrote this little piece in class, sorry if the way its set out makes it look too long
maybella snow Oct 2013
is it normal
to feel claustrophobic
inside my own skin?
                            skin that grew with me
as years passed
   burnt in summer sun
chilled in winter
               i think
                              the scar tissue
is making me
            claustrophobic
because i cant
breathe
               i'm stuck
here
inside this body
      and i want
to escape
maybella snow Aug 2013
why the hell              
did seeing that
hurt so ******* much
i don't love you
but *******            
that hurt                                        
to see you loving someone else
ouch        

i don't even know
why this would hurt
but the knife in my chest
at seeing that                          
******* killed me

and no,            
you'll never know
that this poem
is for you              
so
you won't know
how to stop                      
this pain
because you don't know
it's you causing it
maybella snow Jul 2013
you want to die sometimes                                                  i want to die sometimes
you live for me                                                               ­        i live for you
you'd die for me                                                               ­      i'd die for you
-------------------------------------------------------------­-----------------------------------------------------------
/\
/     \
/          \
/               \
/----------------\

i hope nothing pushes these scales
either way
because it'll end
in our death
maybella snow Jul 2013
we talked about what our house                                                                                                
would be like                                                                                                
it was a while ago                                                                                                
but i remember                                              
how you described it to me                          
it sounded perfect                                          
and of course                                                  
it had you                                                                            

yes i still remember,
when you told me
it surprised me
to start with
but not
now

because                                                                          
i love you                                                                        

#
maybella snow Jun 2013
lavender fields
strawberry bushes
apple trees
mint flavored lips

i wish to sit under
  the tallest apple tree          
and eat    
strawberries
in a field              
smelling wonderfully
of lavender
and mint          

cherry blossoms
getting entangled            
in the wisps of my hair

while you lay sprawled
eyes shut against the sun      

waiting until night
to walk                                  
into the middle of the field    
collapse next to each other
holding hands

staring at the stars
thinking of what to do
tomorrow
maybella snow Jul 2013
all my doubts
                 about your love for me
      disappeared
                                 when you told me
               you were crying
                       because you missed
      the sound of my voice

           just like how
i'm crying now
                      because i miss
     the sound of yours
maybella snow Jul 2013
my mum's asking
     if she can see my poems
i don't want to show her
                       she'd know all my secrets
   she'll know i'm not sleeping well
she'll know about him
           she'll know how i'm hurting
she'll know everything

       and i'm not ready for her
to know
                    i'm not ready for them to know anything
maybella snow Aug 2013
i hide me from myself
i don't like me for who i am
maybella snow Jul 2013
i love how                
our flaws      
don't clash                  
instead they      
seem to work  
well at finding the problem
and fixing it
maybella snow Jul 2013
my mother once tried to tell me
that i'm worthy of the perfect man
when i'm all grown up
all i had to do, was wish for him
she described him to me
            - tall
            - handsome
            - blonde hair
            - blue eyes
                                                            ­ but then again,
                                            that was her perfect man
not mine
mine is:
            - tall
            - handsome
            - dark shaggy hair that changes hues with the lighting
            - brown eyes
                                                            ­ wait.
                                  i just described you
            - perfect
maybella snow Jun 2013
its a struggle
             a constant struggle
                              to be perfect for you
maybella snow Jul 2013
there aren't many of them      
but                                                      
i think i can think of one at least              
it's winter here
summer there
yes, stating the obvious                  
but    
we'll never both be cold                                                                            
in your summer                              
you send me warmth to get me through winter                
in my summer                                
i'll send you warmth to get you through winter                

no, we'll never both be cold
maybella snow Jul 2013
pictures of you            
hold no texture  
hold no warmth
hold no love      
all i want                              
is to hold you            
and you to hold me              
safe
maybella snow Oct 2013
drag my thoughts trough a sifter
see which ones resolve
pound my heart with a hammer
see if it sticks or falls apart
stuff me down a drain
squish me in a cupboard
hit me with a rolling pin
crush me like a glass

i'll break eventually
maybella snow Jul 2013
hold me?
love me?
help me?
love me?
hug me?
love me?
hide me?
love me?
please                                  ?
maybella snow Oct 2013
that bubble that rests
it may be my lack of food
but for some reason
i think its because
i miss you
maybella snow Aug 2013
a girl in my year
commented "i'd hate to be a poet
they always live sad, and die
tragic."                  
i smiled at the truth
and cried on the inside
maybella snow Oct 2013
cracked cups
stained sheets
peeling paint
haunted house
broken back
lustful lungs
strangled screams
healing heart
maybella snow Jul 2013
i wanted my hair
           to be pretty and curly today
   i put it up in pin curls last night
                         it didn't work
instead it went frizzy
     because i had brushed it to get rid of
the dread-lock look
                                           sigh
i just wanted to look
       pretty today
with curly hair
maybella snow Jul 2013
-
                     a girl, an average teenager
   falls in love with a boy
        parents dissagree -bittersweet-
a new idea is developed in the science
                  of the brain and controling it
needing test dumbies, scientists set out
    the girls parents, use her, for money or whatever
by this time, the girl has depression
                         but still loves her boy
her parents enrol her as a test subject
               scientist with new ideas
      drugs are used, she's put to sleep
                           a year she sleeps through
   a whole year of testing
                      scientist experiment on her brain -gruesome-
the scientist believe they've fixed the girls
       depression, anxiety, and she no longer
                  remembers her boy
upon her arival home
         with a fresh deleted brain information
   no memories, nothing
                                 she finds a phone number on her table
calls it
           on the other end, a boy, her old boyfriend
   the one she had, before her memory was erased
                                     they meet
and she falls in love with him again
                      fresh memories of love, with the same boy

-completely baised on a true story-

true love exists
this is off a documentary i saw in class, scientists were experimenting on the brain. deleting memories ect.
maybella snow Jul 2013
i have a tiny amount
         of people
unrelated to me
                who have
     completely of their own will
come to love me
         and they would protect me
with their everything
these people
        the small amount of people
    i love them dearly
                  i'm so sorry if i do or say
anything
       that hurts you
  i try my best
          to protect you
                           just as you protect me
because i love you
         and i don't want anything happening to you

i don't want any more people
            to love
  i have my tiny amount
                              and they're perfect
   so i'll stick with them
     and protect them with my life
as they do me
maybella snow Feb 2014
I'm trying to find someone
who knows about the
cracks and defects
of my heart and mind
and want them to gather
the pieces of
broken glass
so they can heat it
and recreate it
as their own
maybella snow Jun 2013
its a funny feeling;                            
or lack thereof
                                  when you finally realize

[queue dramatic music]

                                                          you don't care
                                                         you don't give a ****
                                                        nor does anyone else

[queue lights]

and yet,                                          
you feel as though                                  
you maybe should            

[queue curtain open]

so you act.                                                                                  
                                     you pretend to be someone
who you know isn't real

[queue 1st actor]

                                                           a fake person.
in a pretend body                      
                    being who they aren't

[queue 2nd, 3rd, 4th actor/actress]

only because,                                              
the pressures get to you                              
with everyone else pretending too            

[queue light dimming]

                                                                   you change,
feel like its normal                              
to hide who you really are                              

[queue actors/actresses leave]

                                                                        someone who:
                                                                                                    really doesn't care
                                          truthfully doesn't give a ****

*[queue curtain close]
maybella snow Jul 2013
i really don't know      
what's going on
in my head            

but                
racecar
is                
racecar
backwards            
~
maybella snow Jul 2013
i'd like to think
     that when it's raining here
'  '' ,   . ' . ; ,  :  ' ' , '    : ,   ' '  ,   ; ' ´    , ''', '
'  ,' ;  ' ,   : ' '  ; , : ';    ,'    ' ', ;   , . "  ' ´
' '   ,   '  '  , ' .' ,  ,  ' '  ', '' , ';  ,    ; '
' . , ' ' :   p    ;  '  ' , , ' . , ; : ' ,'
;  .  ' ' , ;  o , ; '', '  , ; ; ' ' ,
 ' . ; ''´d ,; " 'u . ;   ' ' ; : , '' . ;'
   ','     o ; '', ",r .' ; :' '' ' ; '' : ´,
' ;     ,   w    ,    ing
;     .  ,    n   ;  ' '   , ' ' 
   .         '    '  ;      . 
                                               ­                     the sun's out where you are
maybella snow Jul 2013
i have this overwhelming need              
it's hurting and ugh i just
                                i just need to hold your hand
i need to feel you skin                          
               i need your warmth
it's an ache and i know
                                       it wont go away
until i feel your warmth                                                
and thats not going to happen                        
because you live to ******* far away   (excuse the language)
i just need you                    
the ache has settled like sand          
to the sturdy bones of my back
and i can't shake it off                                  

                                                                                            i need you
i just RAWR                            
it's overwhelming me
maybella snow Aug 2013
everything
everything
everything
everything
everything
in my head
  goes back
           back
           back
   and back
to you
                                      every
                                       time
you're
hurting
me
i
cant
write
any
good
poetry
go
away
pleas­e
and
let
me
write
i really am sorry everyone
maybella snow Aug 2013
myheadisreallyheavy
     ithurtsalot
                  myeyesarereallydroopy
ithinkineedsomesleep
maybella snow Aug 2013
i woke, with no hope                    
instead: determination
to get through the day,
where i                     almost fell back down
but i didn't,                                        
instead with help      
of a former poet's      
skill of writing            
about mourning        
and moving on          
"forgetting"                  
where i realized        
it's okay, if i try          
to forget your death  
and if i do                  
Remember you          
not to be sad              
it's alright if                
forgetting you            
helps me through      
the day, so i tried      
and i have almost      
made it, five more    
hours till midnight    
then, i have made it  
through one day        
without crying          
because of your loss
sorry love,                                                                    
i'm not forgetting your love                                                                    
i'm forgetting you                                                                              
or trying to                                                                                                                    
to save myself                                          
sorry                                          
i love you                        
but in the end
you're dead
i'm not
not yet
"Remember" Christina Rossetti.
maybella snow Feb 2014
its like im in a hole. its really deep and dark
and looking up there is                              light
but its too far                            away                 .
i know i will  never  be  able to reach it. this
hole im stuck in.    it has windows so people
see me.    theyre looking at me but they cant
reach me.    they cant          touch               me
                        i can only just see their outline. i
walk around in circles walk around in circles
that is unless im just sitting. too tired to move
theres no way    out                too tired to live
maybella snow Jun 2013
i'm just so
tired
        my spine weighs me down
it has lost its
       strength
each vertebra has taken in sadness

they hold it, being my backing weight
         pulling the energy out of me
sapping my life slowly
                        because of the         effort

that it now requires
     just so that
i can hold it up,
     it tires me

        to remain upright
heh just re read that, i wrote it without thinking much, it doesn't exactly run well, but i don't want to change it.
maybella snow Sep 2013
remember that time?                                                                        
she tried her hardest to climb
the tallest tree                                
wanting to be on top of the world
remember that time?                                                                        
she went too high
the height frightened her
she couldn't get back down
remember that time?                                                                        
she decided to change her fears
by placing a trampoline at the bottom
and jumping onto it
remember that time?                                                                        
she then hung a swing up
and was on it until the rope snapped
then she put another up
remember that time?                                                                        
she got a seat swing
so she could read outside on it
and be suspended off the ground
remember that time?                                                                        

consider this time?                                                                            
her being overwhelmed by the world
she became frightened of everything
she stopped trying over and over again
she wanted to jump from high up;
she wanted to be forever suspended
maybella snow Sep 2013
lungs;                        
breathe                        
heart;                        
beat                        
i'm alive                        
so live                        
if not for me
for him
maybella snow Jun 2013
|         |                  
a bridge                  
boards spread          
firmly              
but rickety            
more holes                
than a strainer        
uneven walking        
handrails          
required                
spanning a long        
distance              
. =-=~==--=-        
sometimes the wind
or fog              
can block      
or sway            
our distance bridge
|          |            

build on love    
in our hearts      
for only            
our souls to cross

the fog is blocking me                      
from being able to see you          
our bridge needs repairs                    
at both ends                
.|. /
maybella snow Jul 2013
the clouds are
      thick overhead
so i'm not cold
              thinking about
     you
                and writing
     a poem
about how the
     cloud coverage
means i'm not
            cold
sitting outside
               thinking about you

x
sorry if the title is a little confusing, it's simply repeat backwards C:
maybella snow Sep 2013
somehow
i changed
into my
very own
monster
i hide in
closets
under beds
ready to
**** at
any time
but i'm
not even
scared
anymore
the demons
in my head
and the
angel in
my heart
all created
this
monster;
me
maybella snow Aug 2013
the people
who were close
to them
need
respect too
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