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12.9k · Aug 2013
no i'm not anorexic
maybella snow Aug 2013
no i'm not in denial either
    i just haven't felt the need to eat
and when i do
                   i feel sick
i promise
    i'm not anorexic
    or in denial
                                  just not eating well
8.1k · Oct 2013
a change
maybella snow Oct 2013
enfold me in warmth
wrap around me
like the ozone layer
covering the earth in cloud cover
hold me tighter
than a toddler
grasping their mothers
hand, as they cross a road
love me more
than two lovebirds
nesting in spring
3.6k · Jun 2013
false prefixes
maybella snow Jun 2013
if only it was as easy as
putting a band-aid on
and kissing it

when you were young
and you scraped your knee
off you went, crying to your mother

where she would sit you down
get a band-aid, slap it on
and kiss the top

it made everything better
you again ran off
to get more scrapes and bumps

because the band-aid was
an easy fix, it stopped the pain
in an instant

...
3.5k · Jul 2013
stereotyped love endings
maybella snow Jul 2013
happily ever afters
are so stereotyped          

do two broken lovers        
fit into the category?              

x <3 x
maybella snow Aug 2013
i told you i was

sitting on the floor in the kitchen
with my laptop
and empty coffee cup
and a spoon

then continued to say

i am so broken
the definition of broken

you replied with:

i'm sorry, but that was adorable

*how is my being broken
sitting on the floor in the kitchen
with a spoon
empty coffee cup
and laptop
"adorable"?
3.3k · Dec 2013
mistletoe heart
maybella snow Dec 2013
shy
warm
scared
confidend
heated
soft

your heart
kissed mine
under the
mistletoe
today

and you
got lost in it.
I found you
under my
covers
3.1k · Jul 2013
racecar is racecar backwards
maybella snow Jul 2013
i really don't know      
what's going on
in my head            

but                
racecar
is                
racecar
backwards            
~
3.1k · Jun 2013
flyaway dandelion
maybella snow Jun 2013
once someone asked me what my favorite flower was                                    
                                                                                                    i told them, "a dandelion"
they looked confused for a moment                                
before i told them why                                                

                                            i like dandelions because
                                   not only are they cute and fluffy           [hehe]

they're also weeds                              
                            found in every day places
nothing special          
but i love them                        

and for me                                                                        
i will always think of them as little wishes                                                
running around crazy in the garden                    
as a child, if you blew it all away in one breath                                                    
then you got a wish                                                                    

                              now every time
i see one of those cute
                                                    fluffy, light
                                                    everyday weeds
                      i smile as i bend down to pluck it gently
                                                trying not to ruffle it too much
                                                                            i draw in a breath
                                                 and watch as the segments go flying
                                                                          dawdling through the air
and i make a wish                                                                      
on that flyaway dandelion
its true, dandelions are my favorite flower or ****...
maybella snow Aug 2013
innuendo sushi is usher asking Sienese disowns shown plops aside ask dud
                    NCOs debs downwind UBS mayo Iowa. Laos Nissan seis *** so enemies Sandusky snails used iOS somehow Owen haikus eye owl ensues diss worsens skinned unique.
     ushers witted hub woman's newish naval cavity sis wish lend USB

[rage typing doesn't work with auto correct]
maybella snow Aug 2013
people are always changing walls
                   new paint
                            wall paper
                            filling holes
                            knocking them down
walls would be so self conscious
    no one likes them
    the way they are
random thoughts
maybella snow Jan 2014
is it too much to imagine
that a fool like you could
pity a fool like me

they say
birds of a feather
flock together
yet appariently
family is forever too
yet everyone knows
that's not always the truth

because some families
are bound to be broken
along with the hearts
of unwilling and unknowing
children where mommy
no longer likes daddy
and daddy's bedtime stories
stop being told
along with mommy's
new drinking problem

to these children
with the likes of the tooth
fairy and easter bunny
do they realise
that the bogies
in their closets
moved two houses down
and became that man
who preys on young
girls in their skirts

would you pity
that girl
who was attacked
by the bogie man
or do you pity
the father who
wasnt there to stop it
maybe you should pity
the younger brother
who hung himself
after the bogie man
was released
and the mother
who lost herself
in her drink

swirling at the bottom of a glass
thinking that maybe
if she haddent had fallen
for that dark haired
handsome man who
wasn't her husband
would she had been able
to keep that bogie
harmlessly in a closet
to hang with coats
2.1k · Aug 2013
"tummy tickles"
maybella snow Aug 2013
you're the kind of person        
who gives me tummy tickles  
making me shy and uncertain
yet                                                            
so happy
i could walk
on stars
or play                          
in the                          
softest cloud                          
you give me
"tummy tickles"
every time
we talk      

hehe                  
*[blushing]
2.0k · Jun 2013
disappointing not poems
maybella snow Jun 2013
it disappoints me
       that my poems
aren't really
                                "poems"
                   any more
they were originally
      on the edge of not poems
                                   but now
they're not poems at all
                  and yes
that disappoints me
2.0k · May 2013
hot air balloon
maybella snow May 2013
i  feel  shy,
i  feel  my  toes  curl
and  my  muscles  tighten
stomach  flutters  like  an  engine
heart  speeds  up  before  take  off
i  strap  my  mind  in  before  it  floats
it  would  get  stuck  in  the  clouds
love,  as  a  gas  would  be  light
lighter  than  helium  it  flies
with  the  combined  effort
my  heart  and  stomach
lift  off  the  ground
a  hot  air  ballon
filled with love
|            |
|            |
lit alight by you
we slowly flyaway
sharing our small
hot air ballon
1.9k · Jun 2013
ignoring urges
maybella snow Jun 2013
the urge  
         to be
"perfect"
      is impossible
to ignore

.|~|.
1.9k · May 2013
weave or knit blankets?
maybella snow May 2013
why is it when?
you tell me you love me
i feel utter happiness
warmth floods me

yet an unbearable sadness
pulls and picks
like a seagull on the beach
pestering a crab
waiting for it to give up

i don't want to
but i feel like its correct
meant to happen
maybe just giving up
isn't as bad as they say

maybe its time
to give up*

. . . . . . .

give up on the sadness
that i held like a blanket
as if it keeps me warm
i realize now, that it didn't
never did, never will

though i continue to clutch it
a child, frightened of letting go
loosing my strong grasp on
past feelings and fake safeties

to be completely happy

could i maybe find another
a blanket of thicker wool?
one that does hold me
tight in its embrace
keeping me warm
giving me love
maybe it's time
to take more
and let you
love me
fully
1.8k · Jun 2013
imaginative packing
maybella snow Jun 2013
the only reason
      i'm able to pack
               my bag for anywhere
                 put in amounts of clothes
                      weighing it for the flight
   is imagining  
you're where i'm
  travelling to

.
1.7k · Dec 2013
my pillow smells like you
maybella snow Dec 2013
find yourself
    lost in me

  dig yourself
                   the hole
you dug me

drag yourself
away from the
flames
of my heart
maybella snow Sep 2013
it's only fair
don't mess with me
i get nasty            
and protective
and you do
     not deserve
           to touch him
         you do
           nothing good
for him at all
1.7k · Aug 2013
craving cuddles and kisses
maybella snow Aug 2013
i think, that this addiction
has the worst withdrawals
ever
        they leave you  feeling
        completely empty and
alone
         until you get
          the  next  hit
pain
         is a mental hurdle
          thats  too  high  to
jump
         so, alone and
         empty, you'll
remain
1.7k · Jul 2013
i'm not suicidal; but
maybella snow Jul 2013
i'm not suicidal, but
         if a truck was about to hit me
         i wouldn't scream
i don't have a death wish, but
         if i was stuck underwater
         i wouldn't struggle
i don't want to die, but
         if someone had a gun barrel at my head
         i wouldn't beg to live
                          i'd smile
1.6k · Jun 2013
our lavender fields
maybella snow Jun 2013
lavender fields
strawberry bushes
apple trees
mint flavored lips

i wish to sit under
  the tallest apple tree          
and eat    
strawberries
in a field              
smelling wonderfully
of lavender
and mint          

cherry blossoms
getting entangled            
in the wisps of my hair

while you lay sprawled
eyes shut against the sun      

waiting until night
to walk                                  
into the middle of the field    
collapse next to each other
holding hands

staring at the stars
thinking of what to do
tomorrow
1.6k · Jul 2013
pretty with curls
maybella snow Jul 2013
i wanted my hair
           to be pretty and curly today
   i put it up in pin curls last night
                         it didn't work
instead it went frizzy
     because i had brushed it to get rid of
the dread-lock look
                                           sigh
i just wanted to look
       pretty today
with curly hair
1.5k · Oct 2013
i miss him, i miss /him/
maybella snow Oct 2013
two brothers
twins, one blonde hair
one brown        

one drowned himself and    
is now six feet down  
one smoking six packets      
to try and drown thoughts

one knew me  
as happy
one knows me
as sad    

one broke down
deep cuts and burns  
one is breaking  
shallow cuts, burnt lungs

i love the brown-haired
scared
dead
brother

i'm falling for the blonde-haired
lonely
alive
brother

they both love me
one will never return
is it time to save myself?
..and him?
is it right?
or are we both
just sad and
lonely?

and now, you've dyed your hair brown
and you look exactly like him
don't die on me
1.5k · Jun 2013
rubix cube
maybella snow Jun 2013
i've become like a rubix cube
i am placed in the cupboard        
to be taken out on occasion
and put in a disarray  
twisted                                    
turned    ­          
confused                          
  
   just to be put back    
only after being caused more            
damage

after once again being
re-accommodated                
to the lonely cupboard

someone else                                
with obvious time to pass
clasps their hands on me              
only to expenditure
their fancied time on me

but once again                  
being returned into the loneliness
of the cupboard

waiting for the day
when someone else finds me        
dusts me off                                  
and returns me
to my initial state of orderliness

colour co-ordinated      
and whole

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-
maybella snow Jan 2014
swirl me at the bottom
of your drink, contemplating
the thought, of leaving it
warm and flat,
not the best part
of anything.

breathe me in
like the last little bit
of your cigarette.
you lit me up and drew
me in, I'm a killer at heart
not in nature
but step on me
when you're done
*chuckle*
1.4k · Aug 2013
an affair with storms
maybella snow Aug 2013
caressing my face              
soft droplets                        
of ice cold water          
combines with the              
heated tears that fell                                                  
from my eyes                                                            
replacing my heartbeat
with regular claps          
of thunder      
lightning finds a way                                              
to brighten up a sun-less                                                            
sky of heavy clouds                                                    
the wind finds ways          
to surround me                        
flicking my hair                
around my face                            
clouds cover me  
thunder replaces my heart  
lightning brightens my eyes
eyes that once fell hot tears  
now ice water                        
covers my entire form
as the wind takes me away
with its touch
1.4k · Jul 2013
brightening my eyes & mind
maybella snow Jul 2013
sometimes i wonder
                                        if i
                        stare into the sun
      long enough
                        it will brighten
                                 up my mind
  and everything
                              i see
maybella snow Jan 2014
it bothers me
that your arm
is more comfortable
than my pillow

or maybe it just
bothers me that your
arm isn't under
my head now
maybella snow Jul 2013
~*
five words
five words that popped into my head, idk
1.3k · Jul 2013
not enough
maybella snow Jul 2013
i didn't eat enough today
      no, i'm not anorexic
  or starving myself
               i just forgot to eat enough
                        it didn't occur to me until now
    as my stomach clenches in pain
           but i didn't need food
   until you left
1.3k · Jul 2013
a deathly ten words
maybella snow Jul 2013
your pretty face
rests against mine

                                               how did i die?
this wont make sense to anyone, so i'll try and explain it a little. well idk if i really want to be meh.... the person featuring this is too far away and it's impossible for us to have physical contact. therefor the whole dead thing, i'm only saying all this because i don't want anyone to assume something stupid or whatever. anyway, thats what i meant
1.3k · Oct 2013
self harm at its best
maybella snow Oct 2013
i'm in the mood
to throw around my heart
anyone want it?
hot potato, pass it on
its okay if you just want
to mess around
i'm not right for an
actual relationship
but **** me over
as others have done
and leave me lost
its okay
i asked
for it
1.2k · Jun 2013
boxing for pain
maybella snow Jun 2013
i found out                  
you're in pain
you did it to yourself
       you felt sad
scared              
lonely        
those were your excuses
you slashed
bled      
hurt              
because of a    
nightmare  

you told me  
you felt guilty    
and yet
you still did it  

i worry
i fret
i'm scared
for you

distance grants no access
i'm locked away          
unable to talk

my room        
closes in around me
i punch walls        
a boxing match
no winner              
knowing its impossible
i'll never be able to
hold you, help you

******,                    
bruised hands
nothing helps me          
because i'm not helping you

days after
my hands are still aching
your cuts still bleed
nothing gained
only pain
1.2k · Jun 2013
~ queue life story ~
maybella snow Jun 2013
its a funny feeling;                            
or lack thereof
                                  when you finally realize

[queue dramatic music]

                                                          you don't care
                                                         you don't give a ****
                                                        nor does anyone else

[queue lights]

and yet,                                          
you feel as though                                  
you maybe should            

[queue curtain open]

so you act.                                                                                  
                                     you pretend to be someone
who you know isn't real

[queue 1st actor]

                                                           a fake person.
in a pretend body                      
                    being who they aren't

[queue 2nd, 3rd, 4th actor/actress]

only because,                                              
the pressures get to you                              
with everyone else pretending too            

[queue light dimming]

                                                                   you change,
feel like its normal                              
to hide who you really are                              

[queue actors/actresses leave]

                                                                        someone who:
                                                                                                    really doesn't care
                                          truthfully doesn't give a ****

*[queue curtain close]
1.2k · Jul 2013
i'm just a blender
maybella snow Jul 2013
i blend into crowds
there's nothing overly standout-y about me
i'm not that ugly                            i'm not that pretty
i'm average height                              
brown eyes, hair, white skin
crossing the border a little on width
i don't call much attention to myself
but even when i do                            
i do some strange things                    
because no one looks at me              
and if they do,                                      
i'm oblivious because i'm not looking at them                                      
i'm average    
but you saw                  
something amazing                          
in me                                    
and somehow
you fell for me        
as i feel for you                

we stand out
together
now
1.2k · Jun 2013
perfect struggles
maybella snow Jun 2013
its a struggle
             a constant struggle
                              to be perfect for you
maybella snow Jun 2013
i want to, sit on a park bench                                  
at the beginning of autumn
sipping our take away coffee and watching
the singular fragments of leaves on fire          
falling from the trees
to whirl softly before landing on the ground

i want to, go fishing on a pier sitting over a lake
on a fresh spring morning
just to catch a fish with you                              
name it something ridiculous
and release it back into the wild, so i can say that we
officially domesticated a wild animal together    

i want to, go and see a kiddy movie in the theaters
so we can sit in the front row and watch  
while feeding each other popcorn                              
then wait till the end of the rolling credits, when everyone else is gone
before racing each other
up the stairs and pushing the doors open to outside                

i want to, stand in the supermarket                          
drawing little faces on the condensations and                                
light heartedly bickering with you in front of the freezers
about the right flavor ice-cream
for our movie night on your couch at home                            
before deciding on purchasing both of them

i want to, stand under a light pole                        
on a mild summer night
with crickets as our backing music                              
the moon our only audience, and dance slowly
like the world doesn't exist outside of the small                      
pool of light at our feet

some of the many innocent things i want to do with you...
1.2k · Nov 2013
mehhhhhh idk
maybella snow Nov 2013
every snowflake is different
as snow queen
maybe I just got lost
finding the one that best suited me
1.2k · Jul 2013
"like Thumper on crack"
maybella snow Jul 2013
you're in pain                
you cried yourself to sleep
and woke up with tears                      
they covered your pillow
dampened your hair        
knowing this
i'm like a hummingbird on steroids
or Thumper on crack
i'm buzzing that i can't hold you      
or dry your tears
pent up energy                          
i can't get to you
my muscles shake
with the effort of not just
running to you                          
over the water                          
however i can
i need to get to you
1.2k · Oct 2013
i'm fucked up
maybella snow Oct 2013
nothing poetic
or gracefull
about it
1.2k · Oct 2013
Untitled
maybella snow Oct 2013
sinking into a web of consciousness
tacky hands and feet
lightness of air
lost with beauty
smoothly lighthearted
and dangerously lilted
i wonder
if you'll ever realize i love you
1.1k · Oct 2013
a poetical rant
maybella snow Oct 2013
why are there people who believe its "poetic" to self harm
it frightens me that there are teenagers who are doing this
to themselves, they're self harming because they think it
is "darkly beautiful" or "sadly romantic" there is nothing
beautiful about the scars covering my skin there is nothing
romantic about being terrified someone, anyone, might see
them, these lines of weakness, that i've placed there myself
it's an addiction, a sick way i clean my head, because
the thoughts jumble up, thoughts of; missing, emptiness,
time, space, names, locations, people, dates, stories, sadness
wrongness, hurt, longing, hate, self loathing, destructiveness
i am no where near proud i fell this deep into a hole this dark
i'm scared of being close to people, i shut myself away,
starving myself to reach "perfection"
because maybe if i am skinny enough to be considered "perfect"
then people wont care, wont notice the pink and purple lines
covering my form. no. there is nothing poetic about sadness
nothing. so stop convincing yourself you want to be a sad
lonely, scared, self destructive "poet"
1.1k · Dec 2013
simply understanding
maybella snow Dec 2013
i was in one of my horrible ******
suicidal moods, that I seem to
have more often than not
and although I took all my anger
and pain, out on him, he wasn't
angry or upset. he simply said
"I love you, it's all okay,
I need to sleep, I'm not upset,
I'll talk to you in the
morning love."

and I wonder
how he can
love me
and how I
don't deserve it
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