I was here at the beginning and i am the end
im always lingering waiting to strike
i dont see race, religion, or gender
i dont care who you are , what you make, or what you created
because i conquer anything and everything
i was present at your birth but kept at bay
but i creep closer and closer , year by year
i am your greates fear
For when your time is up you beg me not to come walking
you may not think of me in a positive way
but listen to what i have to say
without me life would be meaningless
no purpose , no motivation, no time
listen to the greek figure achilles who described the gods feelings
they were immortal
but jealous of mere mortals
we could see true beauty becase it could be the last time
we could have a higher purpose because we dont have a forever
we could be thankful because each breath meant something
we could love because we'd rather die than be without someone
so dont fear me , pray for me
because i have given you a gift not even the gods could achieve
and know that im not taking you away
im bringing you home.

I was eight years old when i met you , my best friend you

were wearing a dorky dress your mother picked out

, your hair was much longer that it is now

you have an enticing smile that would make anyones day

eyes that glimmer in any level of ligh

t we would spend hourse speaking of dreams of what we wanted when we grew up

from that moment i knew i would never want to be without you

but i couldnt tell you that out of fear of pushing you away

why cant i love you?

as we got older your beauty grew bolder

and my feelings got stronger

the one thing that didnt change was the amount of time we spent together

i loved those rainy days we'd stay in and watch movies

the way you would rest your head on my shoulder or hearing your adorable laugh at the random scenes

i loved the summer days where we'd go to the lake

the way the sun would make your skin glow

or how your eyes reflected the deep beauty of the water

I love you

why cant i love you?

with these feelings rising threatening to burst out i just had to tell you

but there was something you had to say first

you told me you met someone

i was forced to slowly watch as your hands clenched

then have to listen to every detail of how your lips first met

all i could think was how your hands belonged in mine

why cant i love you?

after months of torture , i remember holding you as you cried

apparently being with only you wasnt good enough for him

im sorry i couldnt protect you

but just know that for every tear that fell , so did a piece of my heart

and that in my arms , no one will hurt you

i cant remember what i said but i got you to smile this was it , i leaned in to kiss you , but you stopped me , saying you could stand to lose me too

why cant i love you?

dont you see you would never lose me because i would never let go of you

from the moment i fell into those accepting blue eyes i knew you were mine

you may think youre an emotional wreck but i can carry you



like a bird with a broke wing stuck on the ground let me mend you , so we can soar let me be the one who shows you true happiness

let me hold your hand

let me help you

let me inside your walls

let me love you

It was the 7th grade , you sat across the room from me
i would sit there day dreaming of what could be
one day i worked up the courage to ask you on a date
i was so anxious that day i just couldnt wait
we went for ice cream because you screamed so loud when you saw the sign
you dropped yours but thats okay , we got to share mine
i walked you home that night confident that the night went alright
so i turned and said to you , darling would you kiss me goodnight?
success!
my eyes shut
* * *
my eyes open , we made it through highschool
it feels like it happened all to soon
we toss up our caps and pack up our bags
because now we want to be college grads
before we head out we spent one last night at home
we talked so much my mother threatened to cut off the phone
so i decided to sneak out to see you
because there was one more thing i had to say to you
I looed deep into your eyes and said baby i love you
but before i could leave i had to say my best line
darling would you kiss me goodnight?
you rolled your eyes at me but it still worked
the picture fades
* * *
The camera rolls
were walking on the beach next to the tumbling waves, as you clutch your red balloon
i didnt do such a bad job picking a spot for our honeymoon
i still couldnt believe the reaction of your old man
when i asked to have your hand
he started to cheer
then started to chug bottles of beer
the wedding was perfect but when you walked down the aisle my heart stalled
the best description i could give would be cinderella attending her ball
the attendence of your family was small
but thats okay we can share mine
so now as we roll in the sand
we lay as the waves crash on land
I turn to you and say darling would you kiss me goodnight
this time you shocked me by saying .. every night
end of scene
* * *
The pen hits the page
beep beep beep
its the day we dreamed of
after 9 months of mood swings, cravings, and craziness
beep beep beep beep
after many hour of labor , finally the baby is here
Sarah , thats what we name her , you opened your arms to have her near
beep beep beep beep beep
you never got to hold her even though thats the only thing you wanted to do
i couldnt believe my eyes , i was losing you
beep beep beep beep beep beep
one of the nurses took sarah so i could kneel by your side
the pain in my eyes was too much to hide
beep beep beep beep beep beep beep
your fading away, what do i say
i opened my mouth to say it was going to be okay
but you shushed me and whispered ... darling would you kiss me goodnight?
end of chapter
* * *
The intro
it saddens me that i wont be there when you wake
and that i wont be there to answer Sarah's cries
or when she calls you momma and your look of surprise
or be there to tell her she can date when her age isnt on the clock but i go by military time
or be with you in your golden years
to stand by you and face your fears
i wanted to grow old with you for goodness sake
but the thought of losing you was more than i could take
they say your heart wasnt big enought , but thats okay you can have mine
so you see this letter is for you
dont be angry just hear me through
i love you and its my job to protect you
i only did what i had to do
so when you feel sad and alone just think back
to the very 1st date when you dropped your double chocolate mint cone
or the many others when we wouldnt get off the phone
how you made me smile
from end to end it would measured a mile
or the day you said yes to being my wife
but most importantly .... that you made my life
conclusion
* *

I belive in one God creator of heaven and earth

because thats my religion since my birth

it doesnt matter if you believe in ying and yang

or that the world was created with a big bang

it doesnt matter if you pray five times a day to the great merciful Allah

or if youre an athiest that doesnt believe in nada

because we are all branches of the same tree

you have a heart and sould just like me

so open your eyes

and see past the lies

youre looking at a tree when you should see the forest

look at us we are suppose to be one chorus

we should see our same roots not our split limbs

instead we start wars over the language of hymns

it doesnt matter if you read the 7 valleys, the 5 classics, the vedas, the quran, the torah, or the bible

because all we want is to be the worlds next idol

we are now just leaves blowing in the wind

of our own mortal sin

we should be reaching toward the light to let ourselves bloom

yet we would rather there be an atomic boom

so you see it doesnt matter what we belive because if we cant see past a religion

there will always be a division

Dear dad ,

im writing to tell you the woman you once loved is gone..... she died waiting for you

the woman who taught me to read

the woman who gave me everything i could need

the woman who scolded me when i got in my 1st fist fight

the woman who would tuck me in everynight

      Her name was Laura , do you even remember that?

I remember how you would smell of *****

beating her until she would bruise

telling me i would never amount to anything

chrushing my dreams of ever wanting to sing

    so to conclude this letter i only have a couple more things to say

I needed you then buyt ive outgrown you now

because my mother taught me how

she pushed me to do anything i wanted to

so 1 day you can realize we made it without you

   But still no matter what i planned to do

   I Still forgive you