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Kiss her hard
A little harder than she's use too.

Let her know that she's the one
you want to come home to.

Make love like kids,
in the back seat of a Ford.

Say her name when loving her,
give her something more.

When the hell did loving
become so civil?

When did it become
a Saturday night chore?

Can't we just do it on a Tuesday,
how about right here on the floor!

**** Baby!!!

Don't you know I still love you?
Is this water still water
in the photo taken a moment ago,
or is it reflecting the sky
in a dark mirror of wishes,
drifting through the mind?

Do the thoughts wear the words?
Do they embrace stillness and truth?
There is no single pattern to interpret.
Alternative facts appear credible.

What was predictable, a sweet certainty,
became a distant mirage of memories,
touching softly reality and its interpretations,
sealed tightly in the crystal bottle,
sinking slowly into oblivion without regrets.

Canceled words are so infinite and quiet,
bringing a deep indigo relief,
inexpressible and so beautiful.
No doubts. No screams.
Just a peaceful self-reconciliation.
A chaos of multiple languages
overloads my system,
and the blackout hits hard.

An hour is still an hour,
or is it transforming into something else?
In French, they say l’heure, so sensual
Italian ore speak in tasty sounds.

But what if I want to choose
Spanish tres horas?
I miss the Polish godzina so much
moving my mother tongue's rhythm.

I need more space in my brain
My head is so heavy,
My heart enjoys moments like
a child on a playground

Making my language smoothie
I feel chromatic delirium.
Spinning through a galaxy into a black hole.
I should have listened to my mother
telling me, Agnes, do one thing!
you and me we'd never work
sounds silly but you kiss too soft
you carry an umbrella for "just incase"
I love nothing more than to dance in the rain
you settle for just enough
while I want to feel too much

I am a broken vase you see
a vase that would  pour regardless how much you fill
we'd build a house where no story lies
we'd see each other but with no sparkle in  eyes
its  not love you feel
and one day you too will see
you'd kiss me but just with your lips
but I want a kiss with a wrecked whole heart
my love we are world's apart
and in our case opposites don't attract

you would be you
and I would be me
but we would never be us
that's why  we'd never work
so lets say the goodbye before it hurts
The ceiling peels in slow spirals,
not from neglect,
but from how long I’ve stared at it,
counting the flake’s hesitation before it drops.
The clock ticks without punctuation,
dragging each second like a dull knife
across something soft I used to need.

My limbs forget they’re mine
unless I remind them,
a muscle twitches,
a shoulder reconsiders its weight.
Even my name feels unstitched,
like a coat I keep meaning to throw away
but wear because it still remembers my shape.

Outside, birds call to each other
like they’ve never been tired,
like morning isn’t a decision.
Inside, I steep in low-level static,
a hum no one else hears,
thick as wool,
soft as resignation.
With sunlight sparse, and the world dark
You shine golden and gorgeous. My spirit ascends.
The glittering glow of your brilliance touches me gently, and the long darkness ends.

When bitterness overwhelms me
I lose hope, reference, reverence, and appetite.
You are the sweetness in my mouth that dances on the tongue and makes it all right.

While there is no nourishment for body or soul,
You are the honey that fills my hive.
You see me through the long cold winter.
You sustain my vitality.
You keep me alive.
In my experience it is a rare thing to find someone who loves you for who you really are, and not for who they imagine or want you to be. Not for what you can bring to their life, or how you make them look, but for your individual nature and existence.
My husband is the only person I have ever known who I believe loves me that way, and I love him the same way right back.  
When I’m at my lowest I can remind myself that I won’t stay there, because he is here with me.
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