I wish i could talk in techni-colour.
I feel sorry for you,
If you can't see this.
If can't see, you'll never know it.
That's what death is going to be like;
And oh what fun it will be.
This is reality.
All the wavering and movement
Of everything around us.
And the fact that nothing is separate.
We are not islands,
we are a connected continent,
joined beneath the water,
Of our day to day lives.

On growing up
And past and through it all,
I have been learning.
Learning to push my roots down,
and spindly arms
Up high towards the light.

You see,
The most important thing
In the world
Is to remember.

You've been here before.
To this same dark night,
Or at least many like it.
To these same grey days,
Where clouds cover
All positivity from your soul.
You've been here before.

And what happened before,
Is what will happen now.
The most important thing,
is to remember.
The dark never lasts forever.
The sun always returns.

I have grown tired,
After only a short twenty years,
Of being something for your eyes.
Tired of slurred compliments,
Uttered from behind glazed eyes,
And catching eyes flick up
from where they had been stuck-
Wow! This person has *******!

Sick of hearing calls and jeers,
shouted from across the street,
from inside of a car,
from the base of an over-sexualised,
and over-sexualising brain.

And so in an attempt to remove myself from such *******,
I have been de-sexualising myself.
I wear long, ill-fitting trousers,
Baggy tops, and thick Doc Martens.
I pull up hair up,
Put my glasses on,
I do not bother with make-up.
I glare and I scowl.
Yet still unwanted attention
Has been able to find me.

Still you grab and grasp at me,
As if I were but a toy at your disposal.
I turned to one,
and looking in his eyes,
I clearly said "No.".
A dog, a child, a human,
Would have understood me;
Yet he did not.

I turned again when his hands didn't stop.
"*******, I said No."
"Slap me, baby, I'm sorry!"
He leered, not sorry in the least.
"I'm not going to hit you.
I'm saying no,
and you're going to respect that."

He left for a moment,
Only to return as handsy as before.

I tell you honestly,
I have no idea
What more I'd need to do
To get some people to see me
Not as a real-life *** toy,
But as a *******
human
being.

Aspire to inspire
And inspired you will be
By the beauty and accident of your pure existence.
Simple elegance contained with ease.
Beautiful nature child;
The Mountains adore you
(As you adore them).
Geodes grow up to your touch
Ferns unroll their fronds
Trees lean branches down to earth
All to be closer
As you walk by.

People are drawn to you
Pulled towards your smile,
Your sense of amazement and wonder
Brightens dull and concrete lives.
You are the brightest star
On a cold and foggy night.
Even without the moon’s glow
I think I should be able to find my way
As long as I could follow
Your happy glimmer.

let me just say,
i am sorry.
for all the nights
i got too drunk to move
so i would not have to feel.
for the days
i swallowed away pills
to numb myself
into acceptance.
for the summers i spent
planning how to
**** myself.
for the winters
when i'd hide away.

lately, i've been jealous
of the attention handed out
by people who shouldn't
matter to me

he didn't have me
sweating on his
bedroom floor
he didn't have me
crying with my head
in the toilet
he didn't have me
locked outside
my own rib cage
he didn't have me
like you did he didn't
have me like you did
he didn't have me

I never blink.
I am small and curious
and move only of my own volition,

When you shut your eyes
you think you see me.

I will hide from you
in crevices of the mind
you still have no conception of.

I am all you ever lost
down the back of the sofa,
on the street drunkenly at night,
between your lover's tangled sheets.

I will cut you down.

I am small and cold,
i shimmer in the moon's dim glow
You can only make out,
that which i prescribe.

I am ethereal.