She had *** three times this week,
Because she is feeling weak.
It felt sweet,
Each time she felt loved,
Even though she knew,
It was for the moment,
She felt loved,
So it was okay,
Until she laid in bed,
In disgust,
Red drips across her wrist.

She would of had your baby,
But she wasn't ready to have a family,
With a man like you.

Little angel, that was once in me,
Mama loved you,
I promised,
Mama loved you.
Daddy didn't know you,
Mama was scared.
You would of been beautiful,
Mama wish she knew what you was going to be.
But she knew you would of been beautiful.
Mama was going through some things,
Mama wasn't ready for you my sweet baby.
Mama knew why she was always angry,
You was dying,
Mama didn't know how to tell daddy,
But mama loved you.
Mama hopes you understand,
Mama wasn't okay,
Daddy wasn't there.
You wouldn't be in good care.
Mama missed you,
Little angel that was once in me.

She's feeling so weak.
She just wants to feel beautiful, in her own skin.
Once again.
She's falling deep,
As each puff she takes,
She lets that smoke take away her tears,
That she's been trying so hard to hold in.
Feeling so unwanted,
She searches for another,
To make her feel pretty again.
Knowing that person,
That she's been going too,
Wants nothing but one thing,
She's weak.
So she gives it up anyways.
Only time she feels wanted,
Is it wrong?
She knows it.
But she's hurting.
So she lets him abuse her,
Abuse her in ways she rather not say.
The cuts, the blades,
The ***,
No feelings,
He doesn't love her,
He doesn't care.
She doesn't seem to care, she's letting her self go.
"I'm so sorry"
She says to herself,
As she takes another puff,
As he enter the fragile body.

The way that blade felt against her body,
She did it,
she was hurting.
She's sorry.

She has dream of being a VS, so She's starving, you know, cover girl eats nothing.
She says.
Beauty is pain, and there's beauty in everything.
What's a little bit of hunger?
I could go a little while longer.
She fades away. .
She don't see,
Her perfect.
She don't understand,
She's worth it.
Oh that beauty goes deeper than the surface.
So to all the girls that's hurting, let me be your mirror.
Help you see a little bit clearer, The light that shines within.
there are no scars to your beautiful☁️

Because talking in person is so hard for me, being in front of the only person who makes me feel so proud of ME. So when I speak I rather cry, try to hide the thoughts I hold inside, as he fills with rage and red starts to fill his eyes with anger, I try so hard, I cannot lie, but the words won't leave from the tip of my weak tongue from which I have spoken the words I love you from.

Don't let the emotion drip,
I know there's times like this,
That'll end up
With scars upon your wrist.

She gives you all of her trust,
And you're abusing it right now.

I cannot sleep,
Without wishing you was here.
Screaming in my ears,
As I wish I was cuddling,
Trying not to shed a tear.
Wake to you in the morning,
Look at you,
Tell you how I much I love you,
And having the feeling of never wanting to wake up,
Since laying on your chest is my comfort,
But a girl can only dream,
Since you are not here,
And these are more than just tears.
I miss you tonight,
I wish that you could hear..

He told me everything was going to be okay,
Even though I knew it wasn't,
I believed him anyway.

She asked "what's it's like to be in love?"
She said she doesn't know,
That all she men she gave her world too,
Broke her heart.

I haven't smiled like this,
In so long,
Maybe weeks,
I can feel the love,
The happiness,
No sign of weak.
No pain inside of me.
I finally know the true meaning of
gods does listens.

You can say she's use to the blade,
As its scraping off her flesh,
She feels pleasure,
As the floor gets wetter,
With the ache-ness of her body.

Fighting her insecurities,
So she could feel beautiful,
Once again.
She doesn't know that she's perfect,
She thinks she's not worth it.
But she's perfect,
In my eyes she's perfect,
She doesn't know it,
Because I don't say it.
Maybe if i tell her,
She wouldn't feel so weak,
Or try to be like them. .'

She saw something in me,
That today,
I don't know if I can be that..
She got on her knees,
And prayed for me.
When I started getting violent..

Don't wake me up, I'm in love with the thoughts of you.

Laying on his chest seems to work to help the stress.

I miss him.
Where are you.

She got out the shower, she puts that little dress,
That she likes,
Partynextdoor playing in the background,
She sees herself in the mirror,
Does that little move she loves to do,
Let's the music fill her up,

She doesn't trust herself in a room
All alone.
As she picks up the object in her hand,
And let's it go,
To stop the pain,
Let it drip away.
Red tears falling on to the floor.
She's said sorry about a thousands times,
But she still continues,
Red tears dripping,
From her battles scars,
She had mark upon her own.
She is sorry.

Don't leave her in a dark room
She'll let herself go.

Must feel ashamed,
When you're only doing it,
You know,
Hurting yourself.
You lost so much weight,
How did that come about?
Oh you won't say?
I catch the clue,
As you make your way through the doors,
To let go of the food,
That you have consumed.

I was never worth it,
As to him,
I felt  worthless.

If I wasn't here for a day,
How would you feel?
Would it be no different?
No affection?
Imagine me not here,
Would you still hurt me?

Some things are better left unsaid,
Unknown.
As I wish I didn't know,
What I know about you and her.
It's not a secret no more,
Since the story has been told,
Kept behind closed doors,
Thought you was being faithful,
Lately you've been lying,
Dragging my heart around the floor.
I'm not as important,
As I once was to you before.
Should of kept it to yourself,
But these deadly secrets will be discovered on its own.

He lost the attraction,
So he found it with another.

Feeling like you don't belong,
Lately it's been so hectic.
Wanting nothing but some affection,
But lately it's been so busy.
You have priorities,
Promises you made.
But you're tired,
You need a hug.
You're body is dying,
You feel is suffering.
You're becoming ill,
The food you have consumed,
Went down the drains.
Can I just go?
Take the next train?
You desperately need a break.
And you miss him.
And you're fighting,
No clue on his end,
But you're fighting.
To stay healthy,
You are fighting.
Promise to never let go.

Just a girl with insecurities,
Wanted to be told she's beautiful.
Doesn't matter if you don't mean it, just say it.
And she'll believe it.

I hope to see you one day,
So I could tell you how much I hate you.
Or should I be thanking you?
For making me realize my self worth.
You inconsiderate human being.

Wish some things were different,
Like the way my body aching.
Doing permanent damage.
If I keep this up,
The thoughts of becoming a mother,
Something that i might not be able to be.
Due to stress,
Maybe depression,
Or a little bit of both.
Fighting to keep those around you,
Not realizing,
That you need them the most.  
The body becoming ill,
And you hide it it,
So you can go through a few days,
Without having to spill.
May this night be better,
May this pain go away,
May my body heal,
Let the ache go away.

You were suppose to be,
My knight charming armor.
But you shot a bullet too me.

When I was in need,
You was always there.
You didn't always do me right,
But yes.
You was there.
When I was hurting,
You made sure my tears were in your hands,
You always caused these fights,
Yes.
But you was there.
When I was yelling,
You held me down,
Control my anger.
You made me yell,
Yes.
But you was there.
When I fell to ground,
You picked me up,
You made me feel weak,
Yes.
But you was there.
When I held those pills in my hands,
You came running into my room,
You made me do it.
Yes.
But you was there..

All she wants is for someone to make her laugh,
To make her feel good.
To Tell her she's beautiful.
How much you admire her.
Why you love her.
That her presence is important,
Warming..

Insecurities will **** and is going to **** me.

I remember when those pills took a tool of me.
When I drank them that one night,
I saw the gates to what I wished For my whole life..

Remember ?

When you have nobody to vent too,
So you go to the one person who knows you like the back of there own hands.
It had to be you.

Like you better from a distance,
Where you couldn't know me.
Where I couldn't love you.
Where you couldn't have cheated,
Where I couldn't have been misleaded

You are nothing like the last.
Scratch that.
You are everything like the last.


-M&J

When everything comes back to you, like a crash,
Is when you wish you didn't have to remember such painful memories that lasted longer than you wished it had.

might be asking for too much,
Attention?
Sweet talks?
How about an unexpected phone call?
Late night texts, to wake up and smile?
The feeling of being wanted is a girls best feeling.
Finding ways to feel good about herself.
I suppose.

Content with who I am, who I've become. Those may heard, but they will never know my story. I am a writer who will continue to write, although some seem tragic, I promise somethings we're just meant to happen. Many won't understand, some will try to adjust. Remember to never judge a book by its cover, because they could be smiling but in the inside be frowning. Remember to love those close to you, even the ones you lost contact with. Remain strong, and always fight. Because you are his solider, and he is your leader, let him guide, he'll never mislead you. For this is what I tell you, pain is just for a few seasons, but as long as you pray, I promise he will heal you. You don't need to go to church everyday, to have him Love you. You are his child, he'll never leave you. just promise that you will call him, when time gets rough, know that he's with you. Pray for strength, happiness and laughter, because at the end it will be all that you ever wanted, happy ever after..✨

Saw the worst it got,
I became more and more afraid.
Until one night, I went into that room,
on the floor she laid.
I shook her, she was blue, her skin was cold,
And she wasn't breathing.
Screamed Marie wake up!
I couldn't handle that she was leaving.
Mom and bro is running down, I screamed
Somebody help!
sharp up in the chest, CPR but it didn't help..


-GEazy

Depression will never leave you.
It's part of you.
It's become you.
No matter how happy you are,
There will always be a day,
A night,
A morning,
Where it comes and hunts you.
Not because you are weak,
Nor because you are hurting.
But because it's already in you.

Hiding in a dark room,
Reminding her body hurts.

What if I told you I was ill?
What if this pain I am complaining about is more than just pain.
But rather cancer..
What if I kept it a secret ?
What if I had a few months left,
What if there was no more of me,
In me,
Wanting to rest,
But what if I rest and never wake up ever again?

Today I wrote a poem about cha.
About how you make me smile,
How I couldn't be without cha.
How the first time we spoke,
Little jokes being said,
Something about cheesy toes.
The first time you spoke,
Deeper than anyone has ever known you.
Remember our hands becoming one,
As we found each other that one afternoon,
Walking back to your destination,
Because it was time for you to go home.
The moment we stared into each other's eyes,
No words being spoken,
But we knew what was being said.
The first kiss.
So simple, yet so quick.
Butterflies in one stomach,
As we got comfortable with the thought
Of being with each other.
I look back, and thank god for chosen the right path for me.
For making me see the light again,
Because that's how I feel, when I look at him.
May this light never end..

Don't give up on us,
I just want you to hear this
Don't give up on us
I love you til your last breath
Til your last breath.
Til forever and ever
I won't stop loving you ever
I won't give up on you ever.
Please just hear this
Sometimes you got to walk to through the darkness to get to the light
Sometimes you got to get through the wrong **** to get to the right
No matter how hard life gets,
You still have to fight.

Fight for me.


And if love is real than love can heal
And on the real I would die for you

I know you hear this

That one song that just takes the words out of your mouth,
Like it was meant for you.
As if you wrote the song,
Or your mind controlled it.
Songs have more meaning to a person than you think.
It's the way they sing it,
It's what being said in the lyrics.
To the sounds, to the instruments,
That one song,
That you hear,
Here and there and you automatically
Remember the reason why you started to listen to that song the first time you heard it.
That one song is your savior.

Beach view with a notebook in my hand, writes deepest thoughts. Continues til sunrises.

Goodmorning.

Dark nights,
Fighting your sleep,
Fighting to see his face,
Body getting nervous,
It starts to breaks down,
Anxiety getting worst,
Eyes start to water,
Body starts to shake,
Trying to relax,
How long will this take!