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He is troubled
He is in love with a woman he believes
is too far out of reach
All he has to do is reach out
and she will gladly take his hand in hers
He watches her from afar
and every time she smiles his heart
skips so many beats to the point it hurts
He adores the way she sips her coffee
as if it's the best thing she's ever tasted
He wants to change that
by making her fall in love with his kisses
He loves the way she tells stories
meant to be five minutes long
She always gets distracted by another memory
and he doesn't mind it at all
He likes how he feels when he's around her
he doesn't have to be anyone other than himself
He can let down his walls
and nothing else matters
He watches her put on her jacket
and he wants to be the one to keep her warm
He wants to take her in his arms
and never let her go
He wants the sound of her voice
to never leave his ears
He wants to keep her laughing so hard that
she has no choice but to fall against his shoulder
and when she does he will get goosebumps
from her touch and he won't mind at all
He is in love with this woman
He wants her or no one at all
WRITTEN BY: Amanda Michelle Sanders
WRITTEN ON: February. 8, 2019 Friday 3:26 AM
I've been doing some thinking
and I've come to the decision
that it's time I let you go
We broke apart a long time ago
We tried to fix what was broken
but we can't
We are not a good match
We only continue to disappoint each other
instead of make each other proud
You are so convinced that you are unworthy to be loved
and the more I love you
the more I get hurt because you push me away every time
I can't make you accept my love
I can't open your eyes and force you to see
that everything you want is standing right in front of you
I can't keep loving someone
who clearly doesn't love me back
I thought with time apart
we would get a better understanding of what went wrong
so maybe we could mend things
The truth is we outgrew each other
I wanted more
you wanted less
I saw you as the most wonderful human being
one could lay their eyes on
you saw me as not good enough
I loved you passionately
you loved me enough to put a smile on my face
then fear crept in and told you all of the reasons
it wouldn't work out and you listened
I'd like to think we're meant to be
My soul has never collided with another's
so perfectly it was like magic
No one has ever saw into the depths of me
and chose to stay
and love the parts of me that never knew love
Maybe in the future we are different
I won't love so intensely
and you won't be so intimidated
by the fact that someone loves you
without ulterior motive
Maybe over time we will find our way back to each other
but until then I have to let you go
I love you with every piece of my existence
I promise you that will never change
WRITTEN BY: Amanda Michelle Sanders
WRITTEN ON: January. 31, 2019 Thursday 2:55 AM
Another night without you
lying here wishing I had you next to me
Another star goes by
I make a wish and hope with all my heart
it comes true
I've never wanted anything or anyone
as badly as I want you
I know that I'm probably not on your mind
but you're on mine all the **** time
If you ever feel alone
if you feel your world coming undone
Don't ever think for a second
that nobody loves you
If you're doubting your existence
don't let your mind tell you that you don't matter
Someone out there wants you to know
how special you are
In case you were wondering
that person is me
If I could give you anything
I'd give you my heart
I'd give you the moon
the stars
even heaven itself
I love you so much
in case you were wondering
WRITTEN BY: Amanda Michelle Sanders
WRITTEN ON: January. 23, 2019 Wednesday 4:45 PM
I had a heart to heart with the Lord today
I was crying uncontrollably
I was telling the Lord about how badly
my heart was breaking
I told him I felt so unloved
lost and unwanted
I told him I felt like my life
didn't have a purpose
In the middle of my crying
I felt a hand on my shoulder
I felt a peace come over my soul
and I heard a voice in my ear
It said "my child
do you not have a clue
how much you mean to me
I knew you existed before you were conceived
I loved you before you even had a heartbeat
My plans for you go further
than you could ever dream
You never have to feel alone
because I keep you so very close to me
If you could only feel the pride I have for you
you bring me so much joy in everything you do
I created you in my image
you are perfect to me
It's time you opened up your heart
so you can begin to see what I see
You matter so much to me my child
you are wanted everyday
Whenever you call out my name
I never hesitate to come your way
I love spending time with you
I never tire of hearing you speak
and when you come to me with a problem
I never see you as weak
It brings me joy to know you trust in me
just like I trust in you
I admire all that you are
I will never abandon you
Child wipe your tears
let me turn them into joy
There is so much you have yet to see
I can't wait to show you one day
You are a child of God
you are here for a reason
I know that you are hurting
but you will make it through this season
Never forget who created you
you are treasured unconditionally
Remember I knew you existed
before you were conceived
I loved you
before you even had a heartbeat"
WRITTEN BY: Amanda Michelle Sanders
WRITTEN ON: January. 22, 2019 Tuesday 7:55 PM
She grew tired
She grew tired of listening to people complain
about what they wanted
when all they wanted was standing right there
in front of them
She grew tired of reaching out
only you be ignored
She grew tired of hoping people would change
when internally she knew they never would
because change is scary and no one faces
their fears anymore
She grew tired of trying to be strong for everyone else
when no one would be there for her
She grew tired of longing to hear the words "you're beautiful"
"I'm really glad you're around" or "I'm proud of you"
She grew tired of giving so much
and getting nothing back
She grew tired of crying because all crying ever did
was make her face hurt
She grew tired of believing she would get her hearts desire
when reality gave her definitive proof
that she would never get what she wanted
She grew tired of pouring out her feelings
for those who had no interest in listening
She grew tired of being around people
who refused to see her true worth
She grew tired of trying to live a life of light
in a world that turned dark so long ago
She grew tried of aching for human touch
while she fell asleep at night
She grew tired of being a temporary choice
when she treated everyone else like royalty
She grew tired of never being good enough
She grew tired of being kept at a distance
She grew tired of wanting
when she did her best to make sure everyone else
got what they needed
She grew tired when she became empty
and there was no one there to help her
feel whole again
WRITTEN BY: Amanda Michelle Sanders
WRITTEN ON: January. 19, 2019 Saturday 11:18 AM
I was looking at you today
and I thought you myself
"wow he is truly the most handsome man
I have ever laid eyes on"
Then you looked up
and my heart just grew bigger
I felt your eyes on my soul
and I thought to myself
"gosh I love it when he looks at me
please don't ever stop"
I get nervous being close to you
because your skin against mine
feels like a dream I never thought would come true
You excited me
You surprise me
You amaze me
You make me blush like crazy
You make me laugh
You make me happy
So smile away
and keep looking at me
I won't ever get tired of admiring you
WRITTEN BY: Amanda Michelle Sanders
WRITTEN ON: January. 18, 2019 Friday 8:45 PM
I loved you
I loved you with a passion so strong
I was convinced it would **** me if I wasn't careful
I saw a future with you
The future I saw was so beautiful
no novel, no painting
no song, no photograph
could capture in perfect detail what I saw
There was so much I wanted with you
I wanted the makeout sessions in a room full of candlelight
I wanted to wear my best lipstick
with a tight dress and not feel insecure
when you stared at me in wonder
I wanted to let you strip me naked
and make love to me with the lights on
while letting you touch my most insecure places
and it would be okay because you found me
to be beautiful no matter what
I wanted to meet your family
and see where you came from
I wanted to answer the hard questions
your family would of asked me
to determine if I was the person worthy enough
to possibly spend your future with
I wanted the cheesy compliments
the late night fast food runs
and the petty arguments when we were both too tired
I wanted to say "yes" in tears
while you placed a diamond on my finger
and I wanted to say "I do" in a room full of people
as we came together as one
I wanted to live with you in a big house
we would deck out for the holidays
and one day fill with babies who were made up
of pure love created by you and me
I wanted to gain wrinkles and gray hair with you
as we reminisced about all of the things
we accomplished together
I wanted all of that
I wanted it so badly I could taste it
but I got scared
I felt it all
I saw it all
I knew all that I wanted with you was possible
and I freaked out
I panicked
I shut down and pushed you away
knowing deep inside I was throwing away
every dream I had with you
I began making excuses of why I
wasn't good enough to be be all of the things
we both knew I would be great at
I allowed my insecurities to take over
and keep you from loving me
the way you wanted to love me
You were patient with me
You tried to be understanding
until you had enough
You let me go and you had every right to
You once told me that loving me
was your favorite thing to do
You wanted to build with me
grow with me and share your life with me
You couldn't wait to make certain dreams come true
You were so happy
until I broke you
I broke your dreams
I broke our dreams because I was scared
If I could go back in time
I wouldn't turn away everytime you tried to kiss me in public
I wouldn't stop you from running your hands on my body
as I got dressed for bed
I wouldn't make excuses not to meet your family
when I had the opportunity to
I wouldn't have switched the topic
whenever you brought up marriage and children
I wouldn't have allowed my insecurities
to convince me that every wonderful thing
you said to me was a lie
I would let you love me
and stop trying to control everything
I wouldn't allow my fear of happiness
to build up the walls that would eventually
tear us apart
If I had a second chance with you
I would take it in a heartbeat
I wouldn't run
I'd stay and love you
the way I have always wanted to love you
WRITTEN. BY: Amanda Michelle Sanders
WRITTEN ON: January. 17, 2019 Thursday 5:10 PM
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