We have one hour to spend together before you leave
let's make this hour worthwhile
Let's say all of the things we used to be afraid to say
without paying attention to the clock's ticking dials
Let's lie in each other's arms
reminiscing about the day we met
Let's be open and vulnerable until we cry
not giving a **** if our faces get wet
Let's hold each other close until the moment we say goodbye
comes to destroy our lives
If you only had one more hour to spend with the one you love
how would you spend your time?

He likes hot chocolate
I like lattes
He loves Netflix on Fridays
and I love kisses on Sundays
I wonder what he thinks
when he's sipping his drink
I know what I'm thinking about
I'm thinking he's perfect for me

You're the first person to ever calm the chaos
that corrupts my mind daily
Your touch clears away my anxiety
Your laughter eases my depression
Your smile eases my racing thoughts
Your presence alone scares away all of my demons

He doesn't allow me to pay for dinner
that is something I have to get used to
He tells me I am beautiful every chance he gets
that is another thing I have to get used to
He always texts me back first chance he gets
he always picks up the phone when I call
When I have an anxiety attack he doesn't get frustrated
he holds me and reminds me that I am not alone
He shares poetic things to my wall on Facebook
because he knows how much I love poetry
He watches me as I write
he says he finds my passion interesting
He lets me pick the music in his car
since he knows music calms me down
He always holds my hand when we are sitting together
and cuddles me when we're lying down
He is the type of man who will spend Friday nights
watching Netflix while eating pizza
He is the type that will listen to you
as you go on and on about absolutely nothing
He is the kind of man who won't play with your heart
he will keep it safe right next to his
He is what every woman is looking for in a man
he is my boyfriend and I adore him

You have been gone for three years now
so much has changed
It feels like everything fell apart once you died
Your death still gets to me
My heart breaks whenever I think of you
Hearing your name brings tears to my eyes sometimes
I feel so much guilt
for never fixing whatever it was that got us to fight so much
It wasn't anything you did
It was me
I was a teenager so angry at the world
I pushed away everyone including my best friend
I feel like such a hypocrite for missing you
I don't feel like I deserve to miss you
after the way I treated you the last time I saw you in person
I told you to *******
I was angry that you were back on drugs again
I wanted the guy who used to laugh with me in church
I wanted the person you used to be
I wanted the person you were back when we were eight years old
just being kids
I wanted life to go back to the way it was
before puberty, love and drugs ****** everything up
Maybe I was mad at myself for wishing for such a ridiculous thing
Maybe I was just a selfish little *****
who only gave a **** about her boyfriend at the time
On nights like tonight I just sit here and cry
because I miss you
I miss you so much I feel like I am slowly dying
Since your death I keep everyone at arms length
I am so scared I will forget your existence
if I allow myself to get too close to anybody
I really hope you knew how much I loved you
I really hope you knew how much I cared for you
even when I was mad at you
I am sorry for how I treated you the last time I saw you
Please forgive me

He looked at her with a smile in his eyes
and it was in that very moment
he realized that she was the one.

I spoke to Derek Sanders from Mayday parade on the phone last night.
It was a dream come true.