STOP running away from opportunities
that can potentially change your life
STOP living your life
according to what other people think about you
STOP being being mean to yourself
by calling yourself horrible names
STOP letting guys treat you like a rug
you're a diamond who deserves to be treasured
STOP walking in fear
and putting yourself in a box
STOP criticizing yourself for being human
STOP trying to put an end
to the passion deep inside of you
STOP keeping yourself stuck
EMPOWER yourself
LOVE yourself
You DESERVE so much better

You called me on the phone
you wanted to hear my voice
You asked me how I was
I told you England was nice
I have been away for a year
the distance hasn't gotten much easier
I know I should be back in America by now
but I keep finding reasons to stay here
The rain keeps me cleansed
from my personal demons I have inside
The friends I have made are exceptionally beautiful
they keep me from losing my mind
The sunrises here look like paintings
you can only touch in a dream
My nights at the pub are where I unwind
and I feel as if I can do anything
Everyday I am fighting a battle
of being in love with a place and a person
England is a love affair
that grasped at my heart strings and never let go
I've planned on coming here for most of my life
I knew this would happen one day
I just never thought I would end up meeting my soulmate
one month before I was to go away
I know people can go at anytime
and that places will always stay where they are
However I feel like I have finally found myself
and for the first time I'm not scared of anything at all
I don't want to lose you
but I know you'll never come here
The last thing I wanted was to hurt you
I'm sorry but I'm not leaving England

"I Love You"
He said to her
She looked at him
with fear in her eyes
"Why does that scare you so much?"

I know she played games with your heart
She made you afraid to wear your heart on your sleeve
I'm not the type that plays games
I'd do my best to give you everything you need
I know that she lied to you
You've built up walls because betrayal has left you scarred
With me you never have to worry about that
I wouldn't let anything break your heart
I know she said she loved you
Only to take it back when she found someone better
I would never get tired of loving you
I'd show you off to the whole world
I know she made you lose your faith in love
She took what you two shared and murdered it
Give me a chance to love you like you deserve
I'll show you that true love still exists


Happy Valentines Day Everyone!

I went to a party last night
with a man I only knew for five minutes
We didn't exchange names
we wanted to remain mysterious
We conversed with over 500 different strangers
all the while holding hands
We smoked some ****, got so drunk
our adrenaline was running fast
We pulled an all nighter dancing to music
we normally don't care for when we're sober
We were sweaty, hot, exhausted
and deeply attracted to each other
We made out in some random basement
but not once did he force *** on me
Instead we went to a park
and laid in some grass until five thirty in the morning
When the night was over and the sun came up
I vomited all over his lap
Instead of being a ****
he kindly held my hair back
We went to the nearest gas station
where he bought me water and some aspirin
It was then he asked me what my name was
so I told him
He took me home after breakfast at Denny's
I put my number into his phone
He thanked me for the unusual first date
I mentioned we should do it again soon
I laughed as I went into the house
letting him leave for his Mom's to go get our kids
I sat on the couch with a happy sigh
it was fun reliving the first date I had with my husband

When she left me six years ago
I was so angry at her
She was the first girl I ever confessed my feelings to
She was my first everything
I wanted nothing more than to make her happy
Yes I wanted to marry her one day
Yes I would have loved to have children with her
There was a lot I wanted to do with my life
However, I wanted her with me
I had no idea how she felt when it came to feeling stuck
If she needed time to think
I would have let her go
I wouldn't have held her back
If she wanted to leave
I would have gone with her
I would have never made her stay somewhere she didn't want to be
She should have known that
When she left
my whole world shattered
Seeing her again
it was as if I was given a second chance to be with her
All of those old feelings came back to me
I wanted nothing more than to hold her the way I used to
Then I was reminded of how much she hurt me
I meant what I said about still smelling her scent and hearing her voice
I never wanted her to drop dead
I wanted her to come back
I wanted her to include me into her plans
I wanted an explanation
Nothing makes sense without her
I should have given her a chance to explain
I was so angry at her
I'm angry at myself for still wanting her when I know she doesn't deserve me
I have never yelled at her until today
It killed me to do that
I love her so much
I always will
I ******* up
I should have let her tell her side of the story
Now she's gone again
There is nothing I can do to take back all of the awful things I said to her
There is nothing I can say or do to bring her back