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Deep within
where none else goes

the hard grief grows
and just when you think

you are moving on a bit
it comes back

with the painful hit
moving you back

to yesteryears
which move to tears

the little boy
the growing lad

young man
grown man

and deep loved son
all wrapped up in one

big bundle of memories
unfolding and moving

and having moved
to edge of hurt and pain

the whirlpool
of all emotions spin

in that secret chamber
deep within

where none else goes
the deep grief grows
 Feb 2014 Maman Screams
Guss
A mutant hung above the shack I called my own.
Crocodile fangs and bangs.
Wishing I was a creature like her,
she asked me to follow her to the sewers.
Being forsaken never looked so charming.
I liked her, so I followed.
She took me down.
She fed me snake blood and I mixed it with *****.
We crept and crawled through the filth
in search of hints to our own meaning.
She explains to me that in the sewers,
time and space become illusions,
and now is all that matters.
My shoulders began to sprout little nodes
that turned to feathers,
that turned to wings.
But I didn’t know yet how to fly.
She led me out of the sewers
and grabbed my by the hand.
She kissed me on the cheek
and as she flew away she said,
"Tomorrow we can learn to fly."
 Feb 2014 Maman Screams
Gabriel
Often plain will stain Greatness
That which stood so long without
Now can barely hold the word
The word is like tape with no stick left
Merely a shadow of what once was
And if pushed on very hard
There are days it sticks
Still that word quickly falls
Like a placid old *******
Lost the meaning of the word Great
Yet it still stands in all its useless glory
Too proud to sit the **** down
Admit that life…is always shity
Yet we smile
We smile until it hurts
To prove that importance is second
Because sometimes it's good to remember that happiness
Can hurt to reach for in the hands of others
Not because of anything
It is just the price of flying
Oh that old dirt road
Leading to my once
One and only home
I miss you.

You've been stained
With blood and tears
But blessed
With laughter and love

You led me to light

You were
a beacon
of hope

an escape

my ecstasy

my everything.

But in the end
your only just
An old dirt road

And my memories
Aren't written in stone
No, they left with the wind
So I shall make new ones
On another old dirt road
Again and again.
 Feb 2014 Maman Screams
RA
again.
 Feb 2014 Maman Screams
RA
Today I thought, for the first time
in a while of apologizing
for my existence, and asking you to deal
with my own troubles.
Again.
Slightly shocked, I looked at myself, asking
how a person such as me has not thought
of a apologizing for her very being
in so long, and how you
have convinced me you truly want
to shoulder my burdens-
Yet again.
Slightly uneasy and in awe, I
trembled, asking the air, the
room, the world, the silence (but never
myself)
if
maybe I truly am
enough for you, or if
I have convinced myself to forget
that I could never be, and so
cannot remember all the thousands
of unspoken apologies I am doomed to know
need saying to you and everyone
Again and again and again.
February 12, 2014
7:19 PM
     edited February 18, 2014
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