there are no kisses and hugs
no missing or love
were laughs become screams
and tears become streams

nobody dares to speak
for we are all too weak
and afraid of what should be loved

as my mum comes near
we all stand in fear
wondering who will be next
to be pulled by the hair
and get given no care
only painful kicks and stares

I tried hiding under my bed
for sooner or later I will be dead
we're all just living in dread

I can no longer take the pain
there really is no gain

because things are just different in my house...

So much has changed since childhood
No more kisses goodnight
No more night lights
No more mommy and daddy

No more tucks into bed
No more "don't let the bed bugs bite"
No more XOXOs, or "I love you"
No more "see ya later alligator"
No more hugs, or kisses

Still afraid
Afraid of the dark.
Still needing the night light
To keep me lite, and bright with innocence

Afraid of the monsters under the bed
All the innocence is gone
Still there are monsters
Except they are mine

All alone
Still with monsters
My own monsters,
that haunt and terrorize me

All alone
Surrounded by monsters
Some my own
Most are the people is the world

Where is the light,
That keeps burning bright
That keeps my innocence alive
I need that night light back
Before my light goes completely out

I lost my true love
once she found my true self,
I keep thinking life is improving,
before I'm under the rubble again.

And I'll miss you,
I already do.

I realised that I loved you
and it felt like hands around my throat.
When you had already left the room,
all freedom of my heart did too.

You see, I had nothing left but you.
But you and my assorted maxims.
Now, I've been leaked to the press,
all of my scales have been shown
to the blue-light;
now, all that is left, is nothing at all.

you can destroy my body and cut my skin
or invade my mind to "make me thin"
but i have gotten stronger,
i have seen the light
no mental disorder
is killing me
tonight


*/evjs

Life
Life
Life
What is life?
Greens reds and blues?
Blacks And whites for those deprived
Tints and hues.
Separation and unity
Combined from seperate views
In one as conformity
For passion
For love
For fashion
For hate
For fake
And for fate
We dress and we wine
We stress and we shine

stars they say
Scars the soul
As it heals in a way
Lies we are told
Lies we believe
Lies we repeat
Lies we never achieve
Lies we defeat
The truth indeed-
Without a doubt
Will set us free
Yet we scream and shout
We scream and shout...

Hidden in a box
Hidden In lies
Wisdom in detox
Purpose dies
Drugs stuck
Freedom a game
Of nothing but luck
Wilderness wildly tame

i haven't had butterflies in a really long time
it's only been a year
and people say that that's not a really long time
but to me it feels like a millennium
it feels like cobwebs have taken hold of my insides
desolate and barren.
showing no signs of movement or activity
i haven't had butterflies in a really long time
and i almost forgot what they felt like
but he reminds me exactly of how they feel
because he brought them back
with his warming smile & heart filled laugh
unintentionally of course
but they are now there
flying around
giving me giggles, tingles, and pure happiness
i haven't had butterflies in a really long time
but because of him,
they have returned home
from a harsh, extended winter
and are giving me the warmth
that i thought i forgot
and because of him i remember
and it feels really good
but maybe i don't like it

nobody warns you about the first boy who tells you he wants to marry you.

nobody warns you about the tangible shift in the universe when he parts his lips to smile.

nobody warns you about the poetry he'll write you or how your knees will weaken or the melancholy hidden between the layers of his laughter.

nobody warns you that miles will morph into lightyears and you will curse the ocean for being the only thing that keeps his fingers from resting between yours.

nobody warns you about the day his sweater doesn't smell like him anymore.

nobody warns you that human hands are incapable of holding a person together.

nobody warns you that sometimes love is not enough, no matter how much you wish it was.

nobody warns you about the crippling nostalgia that renders you breathless.

nobody warns you about the nights when silence screams for your blood.

nobody warns you about the crater that forms in your chest in the middle of the night when he doesn't answer.

nobody warns you about how it's going to feel when he tells you he's in love with someone else.

nobody warns you that forever is a lie.

- m.f.

...And I were
but a smoke
of the cigarette,
You just, finished.