Hazel eyes, Luminous, with a gleaming smile.
My chest, erupting with glee,
just with the fact, that you’re staring back at me.
Love leaps from my heart,
telling me,
We mesh together like a symphony.
Devoted to you forever,
eluding the life around me.
For all that matters,
is if his grasp is around yours truly,
Protected in his arms,
safe from humanity.
I know I have found you,
the one I hold so dear,
Just by the way my heart flutters when your near,
I beg you to stay,
Sweet lover of mine.
For without you,
life would be but a mystery.
I’ll Love you until the end of time,
because you belong to me.

Today I was called a charity case,
for its my fault that all I wish had happened to me was drown,
for its my fault that my hair is dyed,
that I wear leggings every day,
and eat anything Im served and just say "Ok"
for it's my fault that I'm not sensitive,
or that I get straight A's,
But it's not my fault my parents weren't around,
it's not my fault that I had to struggle just to rise above the ground,
it's not my fault I need to work full time young to just succeed,
it's not my fault that I get help from people decent enough to help a person in need.
But I am not charity case.
I work hard for the things that I have,
for the future I will grasp,
So take your ignorant self,
and bang your head against some glass.

Depression is like,
a ocean in your head; drowning your brain.
fighting the unpredictable waves,
yearning for the air that you can't reach.
You can't fight,
You won't fight,
because it entraps you within the boundaries of your mind,
the only jail cell,
that will never give you a sign.
A sign of hope,
happiness,
wonder.
Depression is like,
the unforgivingness of yourself.

First my feet,
then my legs,
my body slides deep,
moving forward,
cold strikes my face,
but I don't stop.

I feel my hair pull behind me,
my lungs begin to burn,
my arms grow tired,
fighting to go deeper,
to reach to bottom where no noise would reach my ears,
but I don't stop.

My hand glides across the slimy undergrowth,
Silent and alone I sit,
looking up,
the surface like glass,
I reach toward my home,
the surface where I live,
my lungs burn even more,
but I don't stop.

Fractured, ruined, lost within my thoughts.
Soaked too the bone with baneful memories,
Like vines entwined in my brain banging at the door just to breath,
Your insensibility, absurdity and nonsense is like a fire burning deep within me,
because if it wasn't for your ignorance we wouldn't be in this reality.
Your words like venom spiting cruel ****
Always saying I love you but,
“Your thighs are too thick”
So choke on you articulation on this proper occasion,
suffocating on your enlightening *******
as if finally you taste the appalling choice of your vocabulary,
Instead of feasting on the frightening idea that you’ll be alone.
Forever most likely.
Instead of feeling the warmth of an embrace,
the sweet softness of a kiss,
or the burn of passion between two bodies.
You'll shrivel up like skin that’s been adrift in the ocean,
wrinkled, wreaked, and wicked ******.
I feel sorry for you and the way that you’ll die,
Cold and heart broken like a vase that was dropped from the sky.
Ill pry that one day you’ll awake from  this malevolent slumber
And be forced to endure the endeavoring of your madness,
To feel every verbal scar you left on anybody.
Tearing away from beneath your skin,
Slowly forcing you to mask holes of athencity to your past.
So release me from your obnoxious, vicious grasp,
Allowing me to be free from my entrapped sanity
And leave the minefield surrounding me,
Just waiting  for it to backfire and convulse right here in front of me.
Take back the conversations,
Take back the fights,
And late nights.
Cut the memories right from the root and untangle them from my mind.
You may have wasted my time,
But I swear to you I lied because I wont love you any long for all time,
I wont care for you,
You’ll be an old bruise on my fragile body.
Because I’m Fractured, ruined, and lost within my thoughts.

Avenging activity among our society
Based behind our bravery,
Centered in our controlled community
Dances our dimes distantly,
Eating the Economy entirely,
Freeing some family’s from financial stability
Giving the Government full guidance to “Give willingly”
Help save history and fix the hired hereby diligently
Isolating the problem Indefinitely before another civil war breaks out immobilizing us internally,
Jacking up jumping prices to live within our jungle of commonality
Killing Kids futures by leaving them in debt for keeps of knowledge to secure their vivacity
Living our Lives in stress leniently because we are your servants dwelling down here in the low depths of poverty.
Massing out our Money on your table tops feasting morbidly on fattening foods while millions suffer from malnutrion
Nobody speaking nervously now
On the open opinion’s on our governments greed
People pacing the streets for a piece to eat
Quiet our questions or riots will quake the streets
Rage ripping through our roads radiantly
So sustain us all seriously separating the needy from situations of squandering
Take hold of our Tantrums and turn them on the ones demanding this tangibility
You’re yearning for yesterday’s better life
Venom of today’s values vast out over our minds
When will they welcome the revolution?
Xenophobia exerts exteremremitys on our souls
Zero Tolerance for Zaberism and Zolism is the way we go.

Save me,
Save me from the agony,
agony of missing you.
Because you were cherished in my heart,
deeply rooted  into my veins like vines grasping for life,
like my blood was your soil.
And you were able to grow and live of the happiness of life.
So why mask away your fears and tears,
from someone who would have gaven there last drop of blood,
last essence of life,
to keep you happy.
Why suicide Shane,
instead of me.

I wonder a lot of the time,
If I ever cross your mind,
If I’m strung alone in your path of thoughts,
Or if its just a bar full of shots.    
Because I can grovel for your attention,
Beg and plead because I was your seed
Then be looked upon with conviction,
Of crime I never did conceive.

“Mothers always love their daughters”
Like society likes to see,
But some are suffocated with confliction,
To a person they never wanted to keep.

So the treatment she picked was one of sorts,
Doing exactly what you don’t want to your liver,
Ripping it apart,
Punishments fell as if it was life or death,
Spankings went from soft,
To full out falling of your fist.

So I'm sorry that you bred me,
And carried me for so long,
That I was never capable,
Or competent,
Or energetic,
Or pretty enough
To capture my mom

Missing you is one aspect that my mind lacks,
But it’s still in one piece,
Even after your mess,
And If I could make one everlasting wish
It’d be that you’d face what’s destroying us,
because Mom before you get any sicker,
       I beg you to drown in your liquor.

Dear Mr. Big bully,
I wish I could understand fully,
The depth of your rage,
But i'm stuck inside your cage,
Blackened, blue,
Torn to pieces by you.

Dear Mr. Big bully,
Do you think of all you’ve done?
The amount of wars that never had to be won?
Blemishing people’s sanity.
Ruining Humanity.

Dear Mr. Big bully,
My depression has come,
Does that mean you’re done?
Will you stop the belittling?
Hitting and name-calling?
Will you stop the whispers?
Will you stop picking on the lispers?
The “Mr.’s”?


Dear Mr. Big bully
You’ve corrupted my mind,
Telling I have nothing left to find,
Among this avenue of life,
So I bought myself a knife.
No, not for you,
Just say goodbye to Sue.

Dear Mr. Big Bully
Today my life was counted among many,
The Headline read,
“The Death of Jenny”
I joined,
Four-thousand-four-hundred and twenty.


Dear Mr. Big Bully,
Do you still think it’s funny?

it doesn't matter your skin tone,
your religion,
your life.
Because I am not you and You are not me,
so what are we to judge each others realities?
We live on this planet together,
using its resources dutifully,
So why fight and badger another's exigency?
There's no real war between each other,
we all have sisters,
fathers,
brothers,
mothers,
Its within our minds,
that we create these differences,
The human race cast upon the hate.
Not god,
Not the government,
Man.
We are the monsters that created this mess,
and if the only difference between us is luminosity,
then its our own dumbfounded minds that created this tangibility.

Because even when you hate me,
and cry out your pain,
Just no that Im sorry,
And I wish I could make it go away.