For years I begged
universe and god:
Happiness.

I forgot its warm embrace
the want to get out from under the bed
the courage to put bottles down

Today I beg
myself:
Acknowledgment.

I ignore the cold world
that held me so tight
the way it taught me to be

she has scars
like stars

too many to count
but enough to tell stories of the past

When we were young
you held me up
so high
I couldn't see the ground

But I had been buried
so long
it scared me
to be close
to the sun

she has pages on the floor and stains on her hands
she's forever with tears on her cheeks

she has knives in the drawer and holes in her walls
she's the girl that no one will keep

you are a full moon
and I am the sea
I thrash and I burst
when you're close to me

we walk around with lips pulled tight
because we are living in darker light
we press our bodies, dying and thin
into fear and sadness, let it come in

do you lay on the floor
wishing for everything you had before?
When you get drunk
do you sit in your bed
thinking about things you wish you had said?
When you get drunk
do you take a nice knife
put it to skin and watch yourself slice?
When you get drunk
Do you stare at the ceiling
wondering if there’s some better feeling?
When you get drunk
do you lay on the ground
asking yourself why he stuck around?
When you get drunk
do you look in the mirror
promise that girl she'll see things much clearer?