M: Favorites

Oct 2014 M

Life Guard

Oct 2014 M

Rj

I'll share with you my problems and my past
You do the same, we can try and make it last
Repairing each other, though will take awhile
Our final goal, to make each other smile
My struggles build up, and drag me down
You'll dive in, making sure I don't drown
We are both experienced swimmers,
Being the life guard of each others lives
And through the rough waves of life,
It's hard to tell we are actually *crying

Oct 2014 M

Wishing Well

Oct 2014 M

Rj

Wishing Well

If I had a penny and a wishing well
I could do anything, save me from hell
Change my looks, get a better view
But I know I'd give my wish for you
I'd wish you were free from the chains
Wish somehow, it would erase the pain
Wish your depression was gone forever
The ropes holding you back, we're severed
The scars on your wrists fade away
You would feel happily loved *everyday

Oct 2014 M

Numb

Oct 2014 M

Rj

Numb

I feel numb, no sensing,
As if I lost the ability to feel
As if everything is happening
All at once around me
And I'm not even aware

Oct 2014 M

Eye contact

Oct 2014 M

Rj

Eye contact

I don't like eye contact
I will not hold it,
Except for special occasions
But my eyes prefer to look
At ones lips when the talk
Then dart around
Sketching a mental picture
Of the surroundings
Like if I become too enveloped
In the person talking
They will see through my pupils
And into my mind

Oct 2014 M

Small Circles

Oct 2014 M

Rj

Small Circles

The small circles under my eyes
Are getting harder to cover up
Just like all of the recent lies

Recent lies to myself

Sep 2014 M

tracing the paths

Sep 2014 M

M

tracing the paths

and my heart feels different from everyone who has
traced their path over its green and rocky shores
all the steps you have left have trampled in the dust
and rain has fallen in your footsteps
rain has fallen in your footsteps and you danced-
how you danced, to catch the droplets in your mouth-
to taste them, joyously singing while I watched you prance
over the shores of my heart- walking the steps
through my veins and pulsing in my arteries
you, oh beloved ones, shall never be forgotten
because everything you are is carved into my bones
scored upon my marrow
and built into my muscles- I am a named bullet
and have always been one- though the bullet is
wearing down from the number of names etched upon it
and my heart can only pump so many types of blood
before it gives up.

Sep 2014 M

Not It

Sep 2014 M

Rj

Not It

Kissing is as far as I will go right now
And maybe not even kissing,
The thought itself sounds nice,
But I'm saving myself for something
Something that will pop,
And I'm sorry that nothing has popped
My mind and heart tells me no
That this isn't the moment I've waited for

Sep 2014 M

Untitled

Sep 2014 M

M

Untitled

I love kisses-
they arm warm, soft, sometimes kinda gross
they make you feel appreciated and wanted
sometimes you catch little bursts of other peoples' dreams in them
and little spurts of hope and desire
I love kisses because I use them to express my love
and that I simply have no better way to tell them
no words or hug is good enough, so I must take the next step
THIS is how much my affection is for you
but what is confusing is the line drawn- the hug
cannot be the epitome of love but you cannot kiss someone
without it being romantic- why must the epitome of love
be romantic? why must things change now
and why must it be not-the-same and confusingly
not how I meant it? kisses are beautiful things
and I would like to share them with as many people as I can
not to say 'quantity over quality' but rather
that I would like to spread as much love, warmth, softness, and
kind-of-grossness as I can until my time here is done.

Sep 2014 M

Rusty

Sep 2014 M

paper boats

Rusty

A youth
Of love and politics
Wasted on heartbreaks
Because we let the poetry slip through our fingers.
Pills you swallowed
To curb your sanity
Were only candy.
The day I remember
Was only a death
And the birth
Soon forgotten.

life.

Sep 2014 M

Not to say I really mind

Sep 2014 M

Sjr1000

Not to say I really mind

She comes to me
bleeding inside
from a thousand
individual scars
with pleading eyes
self contained
She speaks in gentle
refrains

"I don't know where
I'm going
I don't know who
I've become
I go through the motions
deaf, blind and dumb
I dance on cue
I stand in line
I've tried to be so
good.
I've left behind the darkness
I've forgiven the past
I'm far too aware of time
It doesn't matter really I don't mind
I wish I could tell
you what I find

The struggle between
my internal world
condemnation
irritability
judgement
fears
heartaches there, vile rages, petty hatreds
*** dancing on the head of a
pin
exquisite laughter
it's all there.

While my behavior is quite the
opposite
accommodating, loving, compassionate
flirtatious, curious
connection is my goal

When I'm alone I'm lonely
when together suffocated
the best distance is
from here to there

I wish I could tell
you that I mind

The storms still
come and go
luck rides the
tides
each day the
sunrise

This human stuff
is all too real
it creeps up on you
so you don't know
how you feel

Which is why I've
come to you to
speak my mind
they say you are the
complaint department
the garbage collector

I'm bleeding inside
from a thousand scars
that's not to say I really mind."

They say the healer
must heal themselves
so of course I ask
"How can I help you?"