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...
Lyle Mar 14
...
shut your MOUTH
and let me speak
because when you SPEAK
I can't think
When you THINK
you don't filter
and when you don't FILTER
your words hurt
and when you HURT
you don't care
when you don't CARE
I want to die.
Lyle 2d
you never asked for purple pajamas, but now you have two
you loved the water and the way it rippled
but now it taunts you
drowns you
you're afraid you won't be noticed
until you're gone
Like maybe
You’re
Just
There
And of course you say "I'm fine."
But all your words are screams.
Silent screams.
you hold in your tears because maybe you're worried
that they will see it.
And we all know what it's like to flail on your own
without somebody to hold your hand
So you question if even the air filling your lungs matter
but of course it does
and so do the cracks on your heart and the bruises on your skin
Don't just deal with it
Because
you
wonderful
       beautiful
                lovely
                                YOU
Matter!
And you ARE good enough
And you ARE alive
And your life is a song!
Where
            Do
                  You
                    Belong?
Here!
To Poet
Lyle 1d
the world may be cruel but you have found a way to live
and that is the bravest thing you could ever do
and you find your peace in the love that grows
you
are
a
gift
as for the why
why should these people deserve you?
they shouldn't
if they don't look at you the right way
let you be who you want to be
let you fly the way you wish
then the only why you should ask is
why do I waste my time for those who are
undeserving of me?
you
are
a
gift
because you are
exquisite
it's okay to feel sad without knowing a reason
but find happiness without reason as well
they can keep throwing their rocks
but you aren't just any glass,
you are the kind that is unbreakable
unshatterable
you
are
a
gift
you don't have to be in the dark any longer
keep turning on the light
let it become you
until you are the light
because you are
But first you
must begin
your warning label reads
Too Good For This World
and you're not a waste of space
you
are
a
gift
so just Reboot, Restart, and try again
you mustn't burn the beautiful away
that's what the darkness wants
it wants you to strike a light
blaze it all away
but your name IS important
you ARE allowed to be visible
I see you!
don't listen to their fake words
put them last
because
you
are
a
gift
you will not be forgotten
just deep breathe in and deep breathe out
in a game of cat and mouse
you are the bigger person
So sit back up
straighten your crown
because you are not only a gift
you
are
royalty!
To Cassian
Lyle Feb 27
I would like
to take the sky
from Atlas
and hold it up
proving to everyone
just how strong I was before I broke
I would like
to take the sky
from Atlas
and let the weight of the world fall on my shoulders
proving to everyone
I've done it before
I would like
to take the sky
from Atlas
and let it crush me
Lyle Feb 26
is a black cat
with white paws
one stitched back up
from where she finally burst
at the end of her long
silky black tail
is a white tip
that I would chew on when I was young
her eyes are green
her nose pink
I've had her since I can remember
My beautiful stuffed bella
Lyle Feb 26
you drive a black truck
with silver accents
and now
every time I see one similar
my heart freezes
and anxiety builds
you always parked it
in the same spot
and you watched me
I know you did
I tried to erase it
but the image remains
of your stupid
stupid black truck
with the silver accents
Lyle 6d
I used to think you could not break me
but now I see
every shard of me
you hold in your fists

they do not cut you as they should
but then, nothing ever cuts you as it should
does it?
I want to say I'm mad but I'm not

I'm just numb
I'm just done
I don't bear the weight of you alone
but yet I seem to be the only one who cannot cope

I wish things cut you as they should
and remorse bled out
and dripped onto everything you do
Like it does for me

but it never will
but I cannot blame you for having no guilt in your veins
but of course it's not your fault
so you just live your life without knowing

you broke me.
Lyle Feb 25
I wish you would break me
quit hitting me just hard enough to fracture
and break me already
i'm tired of gluing the pieces back together
i'm tired of the lies
the makeup
the blinking away tears from my eyes
just woman up
and break me already
Lyle Feb 27
jagged sharp broken
glass
of a picture frame
broken sharp jagged
memories
of the people portrayed
Lyle Mar 22
I broke my mirror
stared into the shards and cracks
Look, that's more like me
Lyle Feb 25
I talk to him, biting back tears
He goofs off, makes me laugh
He comes in, late at night
Tells me everything, values my opinion
I vent to him, him to me
He doesn’t judge when he sees the real me
Keeps me sane, provides me humor
In a few months, he’ll be gone
Cap thrown in the air, waving goodbye
He’ll be glad to be out, but he’ll leave me behind
And I’ll cry every night, missing his voice
Missing his sturdy presence in my life
He’s someone to lean on, someone to cry to
But he won’t shed a tear, pretend he never has
But I’ve seen him cry, because I’ve seen him at his worst
Just as he’s seen me at mine
He’ll call when he’s gone, but it won’t be the same
Because there will be no more secret smiles
No more looks exchanged across a room
No more conversations made with only our eyes
No more secrets kept just between him and me
He’s been right by my side my whole life
And now it feels like I might die
Now that he won’t be there to make me laugh when I cry
Lyle Feb 26
a candy cane carnation
is mostly white but tinged
With red
Red, like blood
for the people who made you bleed
White, like innocence
for who you were before you bled
I think I could be
a candy cane carnation
Lyle Feb 27
your words are the chain
that I will drag as a ghost
every word
a new link
clink
clink
clink
by the time you are done
my chain's a mile long
and your fist
is the shackle 'round my ankle
and your heart
bruised and beaten and battered
is the ball at the end of the chain
'till I
clatter
clatter
clatter
anytime I move
Lyle Feb 24
I live my life as a fake
Chameleon, blending in with my surroundings
Changing to your liking
You want me happier?
I’ll turn up the corners of my reptilian mouth
You don’t like the way I speak?
I’ll change the tone of my fast-flicking tongue
You don’t like me to have friends?
I’ll flick them away with my long, scaly tail
You don’t like the way I dress?
I’ll blur my colors with my ever-shifting scales
I’ll change
Again and Again
Until I’m the perfect image of who you think I should be
Until I’m confused on who I was before
Until I look more like you
The perfect little chameleon, me
Lyle Feb 25
I didn't want to hate you
but you leave me no choice
I just wanted to love you
but you chose to leave me
Lyle Feb 25
I wore long sleeves
to hide the scars
I controlled the amount of pain I was allowed to feel
to make up for the pain you caused
that I was not in control of
Lyle Feb 24
I’m struggling, I need a way to cope
Glide through my skin like paper
Smoke into my lungs, sweet vapor
You can only see my pain through a microscope
Lyle Feb 25
I think of everything I go through daily
the hitting, the screaming
the narcissism, the manipulation
the abuse
and I think
Could be worse
so I end up being grateful that at least
I got food to eat and somewhere to sleep
a school to go to and siblings that care
I look at the bigger picture
instead of allowing myself to feel like a victim
because that mindset will get me nowhere
so I cope in silence and just be thankful
because it could be worse
Lyle 3d
I came to this road
Seemed normal enough
but I wasn't ready to head down the split
I try to turn around
go back the way I came
but instead of the path full of flowers and sweet ignorance
that once trailed here
there is only an ugly black hole in the ground
If I turn back I'll get stuck in this rut
If I move on I don't know which road is safe
This one has a sweet scent and butterflies
But if you peer into the distance you can see the demons at the end
This one swirls with mysterious fog, dark, damp, uninviting
but you can see through the fog to the dim light

I don't want to make this choice
I want to turn back around
Why am I at this crossroad
Is never the question you should ask
Pick a road, head on down
Take the easy, or take the hard
But don't turn around and get stuck in the past

Escape the crossroads, even if its the last thing you do
Lyle Feb 25
i'm scared that when I have kids
i'll parent just like her
or her
drugs and abandonment on one end
abuse and manipulation on the other
I don't know how to end the cycle
when I see myself in the reflection of both of their eyes
Lyle Mar 10
Damaged Goods, Half Off
She's only slightly broken
No takers at all?
Lyle Mar 27
in the deep dark world
shadows lurk and shimmer and hide
monsters snarl and claw and bite
turn a corner and fall into a pit
leave your mind and get stuck
in the sticky black web of the dark world
your limbs are ensnared and your lungs are suffocating
the tendrils of the deep dark world won't ever let you go
the sliver of sunshine taunts and teases
it can melt the sticky blackness of the web you're caught in
you struggle and thrash and reach for it
but the deep dark world keeps pulling it away
but then a hand reaches out
pulls you closer
wraps you up in a sweet embrace
lifts you up to the sliver of sun
holds you there so it warms your face
in the deep dark world there is still
shallow light
Lyle 3d
I had demons, yes
I had demons not bestowed by you
You weren't supposed to heal them, though
That's not what was expected of you

You, however
Were not supposed to build on them
Add more and more like they were your collection
You were not meant to cheer them on

Like it was your life's goal to see me consumed
I had demons, yes
Some not bestowed by you
But you only made it worse
by giving me all of yours too.
Lyle Feb 25
means disgracefully bad
awfully vile
Extremely evil or cruel
Got me thinking
That's a good word for you
Lyle Feb 25
I'll let you die happy
I won't tell you how you hurt me
I'll let you live in blissful peace
without the knowledge of my pain
you deserve to be happy
even if that means quelling my anger
Lyle Feb 27
don't
tell me my feelings aren't real!
don't
tell me I don't matter!
don't
tell me I'm too much to handle!
don't
tell me I'm not worthy!
don't
tell me I'm not deserving!
don't
tell me I'm not smart!
don't
tell me I'm not pretty!
don't
because I will believe you
Lyle Feb 26
"your shorts are too short."
Meanwhile
His shorts were shorter then hers.
"your bra strap is showing."
Meanwhile
His shirt doesn't even have sleeves.
"that hole in your jeans is too far up."
Meanwhile
His pants sag so low you can see everything.
Dress code.
Lyle Feb 28
What's wrong?
they ask
and its just
easier
To smile and say "nothing"
then to tell them the truth
So now I don't even give them the chance
to ask
I just plaster on a smile
and an uncaring attitude
and adopt them permanently
so they think I'm okay
because its just easier
then telling them the truth
Lyle Feb 25
i make up dumb excuses
like
i ran into a wall
because maybe secretly i want them to know
the real reason
behind the black skin around my eye
Lyle Mar 8
Oh how I want to scream in your face!
Say, Look at what you've done to this place!
Why don't you see all your kids fear you?
Open your eyes and see what we've been through!
AHHHHH I just want you to SEE!
Not just to see, but to WATCH me!
Watch how I shake when you start to speak!
See how you've made us all feel weak!
Look at you pretend like you did nothing wrong!
Well guess what! Now that I'm feeling strong
I will tear you down, limb for limb, word by word
Slice you open with the same double-edged sword!
You will DROWN in the same pool I've been sinking in
You will FEEL the consequences of the person you've been!
And you will know, without a doubt,
That these are the words I have always needed to shout.
This is a bit of a rant but I needed it off my chest.
Lyle Feb 25
look at whatever you want
just not at my fingernails
bitten down to the quick
please
Lyle 1d
she is forged from fire in the Great Inferno
her flames blaze and rage
her anger knows no limits
and destroys all that she touches
ash appears where her fingers trailed
smoke fills her lungs and blackens her heart
she has tried to still the wildfire
but people aim matches into her heart
so she lets her blazing anger reign
she is long past caring who gets singed
the tears of others no longer puts her out
only her own can
she is incapable of making her own tears now
the heat from her own flames has dried her tear ducts
she looks around at the chaos and destruction
she knows that she has caused it
and that only she can stop it
but now her anger is the ash suffocating the ones she loves most
she is not but a fire girl
Lyle Feb 28
Here in the land where it will seldom rain
Is a small little girl, brimming with pain
Her mother thought drugs were far more fun
And left her with a mother who loved her close to none
And laid hands on her any chance she got
I would rather die, the little girl thought
She never met her dad for he was sent to jail
For stealing and drinking and smoking to no avail
Was there no one to save her? No one who knows?
Then she and her brother got terribly close
Told each other secrets and learned to stay afloat
Oh wait- now he's leaving, so there is truly no hope
Just one more year, the little girl said
One more year
And then she fled
Lyle 1d
some people's footsteps are loud
they want everyone to know that they have entered
or perhaps they have no reason to hide
They strike the ground first with their heel
you can always hear them approach

but mine?
my footsteps are silent
I glide across without a sound
no one needs to know that I am here
I have reason to hide
I tread first with the pads of my feet
you will never hear me approach
Lyle Mar 3
I just want to be free
Unbound, unchained, untethered
I don't want to worry about what anyone thinks of me
I just want to jump and sing and fly
I'll go far away, where the sun always shines
And nobody will even know the meaning of the word cry
I just want you to let go of me already
I'm old enough to do it myself
Can't you see that I'm way past ready?
I just don't need you anymore
I want to be free; let go of me!
What do you keep holding on for?
I want to leap for joy, bask in the sun
Not have to stress about anything else
I'll sleep all I want and spend the days having fun!
Shouldn't that be what you'd want for me?
Wouldn't you want me to do it myself?
Wouldn't you want me to be FREE?
Lyle 1d
One wrong move
One wrong word
An accidental glance
Unleashes the fury
Don’t take the chance
Don’t say a thing
Look away
Because the fury will swing
Relentless, towards you
Until you’re curled on the floor
And you won’t have a clue
About why the fury was unleashed on you
Lyle Feb 26
I asked you for a hair tie
but it wasn't for my hair
and surely you don't know
that it is still
encircling my wrist
twisting around my fingers
every now and then and again
I asked you for a hair tie
but it wasn't for my hair
I always need something to fiddle with
to busy my hands, my fingers
so they don't do anything dangerous
I asked you for a hair tie
but it wasn't for my hair
it was simply to protect my sanity
Lyle Mar 7
Today is your birthday
So I baked you a cake
More then you did on mine
I cleaned the whole house, that's your present
Your present to me was a black eye and busted lip
Happy ******* birthday Mom
Lyle Mar 22
Oh, I always seem happy
Thank you
I've had years
and years
To perfect my happy strategy
The right size smile here
A well placed laugh right there
Tears only released in the dark
That's my happy strategy
Lyle Mar 3
Please
I beg of you
Please don't leave me behind
Please
I need you
Don't leave me here
Wait!
Don't walk away!
You're leaving me behind!
Wait!
Look back!
You're leaving me here!
Help
I'm begging you
Don't leave me behind!
Help
I need you
Please don't leave me here.
Lyle Mar 14
I hope that when you die

You'll get the best eternal life

But I hope you never forget

What you did to me.
Lyle Feb 25
I blink, and I’m different
I don’t recognize who I see
I look in the mirror
At a face that is far from pretty
This girl, her eyes are sad
I look away in disgust
No love for her to be had
This girl, her face reveals hate
Hatred for herself
A common trait
This girl, she can’t stand to see
Her own face, without wanting to be
Someone else
I blink, and I’m different
I don’t recognize who I see
I look in the mirror
This girl, she is me.
Lyle 23h
I
love
you
is what you said
I ignored you, because why would you be talking to me?
you never say that to me
anyone
but
me
so now you're mad
I
hate
you
is said more then I love you
so why would it be directed to me?
I'm confused
Lyle 5d
I'm sorry
was meant to show heartfelt regret
never meant to be arrows shot
from a narcissists bow

I'm sorry
isn't supposed to erase what you've done
but merely to display remorse for your actions
It isn't meant to make you forget
these words aren't magic, only medicine

I'm sorry
isn't supposed to be repressed
swallowed and not followed by pride
It is meant to burst from your lips, straight from your heart

I'm sorry
isn't supposed to be repeated
until the words lose their meaning and their tune no longer rings true
because "I'm sorry" without change
is simply manipulation

So swallow your pride
Say it with your chest
Say it when you mean it
And mean it if you say it

I'm sorry
sor·ry /ˈsôrē,ˈsärē/
feeling regret or penitence.
feeling distress, especially through sympathy with someone else's misfortune.
feeling or expressing regret or sorrow or a sense of loss over something done or undone.
Lyle Feb 25
We were sitting in the park
I was six, my brother seven
I love you, she told us
Our once-a-monthly visit
That she missed more then she made
I'm working hard to get you back
I'm trying to stay clean
So you can come and live with me
I never told her what I really felt
So here are those words now
I needed you to save me
I needed you to want me
But I guess the drugs were a stronger force
Then the love you should have felt for your kids
Now I live in hell
And I swear its all your fault
ink
Lyle Feb 26
ink
what's that on your wrists?
words I stowed away
penned in ink
so I can write them down for you all later
Lyle Feb 25
you say...
you're a bad person
you're a liar
you're gonna end up in jail
you're a thief
you're gonna be on drugs
you're ugly
you're just like your mom
you'll never succeed
well guess what
you're my inner voice
when people you care about say mean things about you, sometimes they will become your inner voice and the only voice you hear running through your mind.
Lyle Mar 4
You told me you'd been watching me
When I bent over you'd look down my shirt
I was only 13
You asked me for *** in your car
Told me no one would ever know
I was only 13
When I wore short shorts you told me you liked it
When I danced I wiggled my **** and you said it turned you on
I was only 13
You said you wanted me
I was only 13!
You lived with me
You weren't supposed to take advantage of me!
I was only 13!
I was so scared to post this because I have never talked about it. I have always felt like it was my fault. This poem is for my (adopted) brother. He was 18 and I was 13. He would tell me all sorts of ****** things no matter how many times I told him stop. I didn't tell my parents because I didn't want to humiliate him. When I did eventually tell my other brother, he got a stern talking to and that's it. It continued until he left for the military.
I was only 13.
Lyle Mar 22
scream at me
and I will hate myself
manipulate me
and I will do the same
beat me
and I will cause my own scars
just speak to me
and I will listen and learn
all this extra is unnecessary.
Lyle Feb 26
just a random girl
that walks around this school
her clothes are baggy
I wonder if she hates her body?
she smokes
and drinks
I wonder what she's trying to forget?
Her eye makeup
almost as dark as my own
her hair even darker
I wonder if her demons
are as dark as her makeup?
her backpack straps slung low
her pockets always full
I wonder what secrets she keeps?
Her eyes, big and thoughtful
Like they contain millions of unsaid words
I wonder what she would say?
If not always silenced
I wonder about her
like maybe she's just like me
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