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 Mar 2013 Lydia
Madeline
i'm sorry that things were easy
until i made them hard.

  i'm sorry i stayed mad so long when we would fight.
i'm sorry that i got jealous of your friends
    and that i didn't say "i love you" back sometimes.
i'm sorry i was so shy around strangers and you weren't.
i'm sorry i didn't try harder to make you happy.
i'm sorry i have trouble looking at you.
i'm sorry i can't talk to you.
i'm sorry that i'm starting to cut you off.

   i'm sorry we never got to make love the way i wanted to -
    properly, you know? with a bed and candles and all the time in the world.

i know you wanted that.

     i'm sorry we'll never spend the night somewhere together.
         i'm sorry we'll never be able to wear shorts in the nighttime and be somewhere outside and look up at the stars and feel the warmth of the air.
                i'm sorry we loved each other in the winter time, because it's ugly, and even at our most beautiful it was hard.

  i'm sorry you felt like you had to make things up to my parents.
    i'm sorry you never did.

i'm sorry i sometimes wouldn't tell you what was wrong.
i'm sorry i would cry when i got drunk
   and that i couldn't be alone at parties
and that i lost your jacket that one time.

          i'm sorry you fell out of love with me.
       i'm sorry for your left-over feelings that you don't know what to do with.
               i'm sorry for our rough patches and our arguments. i'm sorry if i could have done more.

i'm sorry if you feel guilty. i'm sorry if it's my fault. i'm sorry if i pushed you away.

i'm sorry if it seems like i hate you. i'm trying to let you in.
it *****, and it's hard.

i'm sorry it's taking so long.
 Mar 2013 Lydia
Bryon Wistrom
Leaves of Grass towards Inspiration.

“Know the universe itself as a road, as many roads, as roads for traveling souls.”

For the past couple weeks; I have been lost, floating from day to night, night to day. The two have blurred together and I do not know who to thank more; the moon or the sun. The sun lights up the sky for all to embrace in the day, the moon is what still shines even through the darkest of hours. The more I pursue this endeavor the more I remain in my state of being, which is, to be in a constant departure while always arriving, it has helped me save time on introductions and goodbyes; things I feel that are almost never necessary. My experiences tell me I will always have a flux of people in my life, some that I share the sun with and others i share the moon and some I share moments with and some i fall in love with. Those that I share the sun with I will always remember them as smiling. Those I share the moon with, I will always remember the insecurities we shared that made us better. Those I share the moments with tend to be in the right place at the right time. Although, those who I have fallen in love with, are those I feel who have experienced the sun, the moon and the snap-shot moments. They will forever own a piece of my heart and soul and I will never own them. They are meant to be appreciated as ends in themselves, forever cherished for the significance they held that made me feel truly alive but I have found it is best to believe if you love it, set it free.

“Even after all this time
The sun never says to the earth,
“You owe Me.”
Look what happens with
A love like that,
It lights the Whole Sky.”

“This is what you shall do; Love the earth and sun and the animals, despise riches, give alms to every one that asks, stand up for the stupid and crazy, devote your income and labor to others, disagree with tyrants, argue not concerning God, have patience and indulgence toward the people, take off your hat to nothing known or unknown or to any man or number of men, go freely with powerful uneducated persons and with the young and with the mothers of families, read these leaves in the open air every season of every year of your life, re-examine all you have been told at school or church or in any book, dismiss whatever insults your own soul, and your very flesh shall be a great poem and have the richest fluency not only in its words but in the silent lines of its lips and face and between the lashes of your eyes and in every motion and joint of your body.”

written: 5/29/11
(Quotes from Leaves of Grass)
Why I’ve fallen in love with you

I doubt I’ll ever know for sure

Perhaps it was the way you lay your head on my shoulder complaining you’re tired

Or the little yellow circles in your green eyes.

Maybe it was the way your name just rolled off my tongue

So easily…

Like I could say it a million times in a day

And never tire of the sound.

Perhaps it was because you were there.

Under any circumstance

You were there to comfort me.

Maybe it was how you managed to stand out in the crowd.

Everyone gathered around to listen to your odd tales

And to me your voice was like an orchestra of violins

Perhaps it’s because you’re my opposite

You are there to compliment my timid personality

And laugh at my dry humor when nobody else understands.

Maybe I just could not resist your pale freckled skin

And your shaggy red hair.

How it perfectly fell around your face.

Perhaps it was all of those things

Wrapped up into one.

Why did I fall in love with you?

Perhaps I’ll never know.

All I really know is all of the love songs remind me of you

I realize I’m sounding cliché…

I’m picturing us in every romantic scenario

And I get upset just at the thought of your absence.

So perhaps you’re also going through your list of perhaps.

Wondering how you fell for me

And thinking maybe it was because of my timid presence in a crowd…

Or my big brown eyes.

Whatever it is,

You have this overwhelming feeling.

So perhaps…

Just perhaps you love me too.
 Mar 2013 Lydia
Jene'e Patitucci
I am tired
of being tired
because I do not sleep
instead I lay
or is it lie
counting these ******* sheep
inside my head
and feeling dead
because in my head I keep
every thought
I’m sure I bought
within me, dark and deep

I’m ******* sick
of being sick
because I am too weak
to just admit
I’m tired of it
this constant losing streak
of all these years
and all these fears
have left me feeling bleak

I haven’t lived
I have not lived
a single ******* day
I hate my brain
I want this pain
to ******* go away

These words can’t show
what I can’t show
but I’m already dead
© 2012 Jene'e Patitucci
 Mar 2013 Lydia
Jeremy Duff
I'm not feeling regret or bitterness
I just wish you'd stop embarrassing yourself.

And if this will only make you sad, for God's sake do not read it.
I miss the way I thought of you before I really knew you.
I miss the way I perceived you to be.
As this beautiful, mysterious, intelligent thing.
I don't miss how you turned out to be.
How you were all along.

And if this is making you sad, I beseech thee; do not continue.
I miss the way your hair smelled in my mind, before I ever smelled it.
I miss the way I imagined your hands touching.
The soft elegant strokes would run across my back and neck.
I don't miss how they turned out to feel,
only how they felt before you ever stroked my skin.

And if this will only make you angry, avert your eyes, please.
Because I do not need you.
Least of all angry.
I need to do this though.
I need to put these words out there.
Just as I did before I met you.
Just as I did while I had you.
Just as I do now that I lost you.
 Mar 2013 Lydia
Mike Fashé
What is being intelligent?
Is intelligent being a person who’s a prestige's individual that mastered every curricular course
And can solve every question with no hesitation
Or
A person with Down syndrome, Autism, Mental Retardation, etc…
That has a unique characteristic that makes them who they are and do things other people can’t?
“Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty.
I see a glass that's twice as big as it needs to be.”
― George Carlin
 Mar 2013 Lydia
brooke
Today was the first
time in a long while
that I have laughed
so hard I have cried
where I cannot stop
would not stop, and
though it might not
last I was happy, a
true kind of

happy
(c) Brooke Otto
 Mar 2013 Lydia
Jack Singer
I get lonely
Way up here on the 5th floor,
in the corner of the hall.

And one day I thought I saw
You,
far below,
walking towards the building.
she had your hair,
your walk and your structure,
your same beauty
that is not self conscious.

My eyes lite up,
I sat up straight in my chair,
peering down eagerly,
I felt a prickling up my legs,
she wore your same
light green tank top.

But it was somebody else
and I put my head down,
and went back to reading
and wondering
if you’d call me
one of these days.
 Mar 2013 Lydia
TJ King
This morning I watched you
stumble into the bus
like a drunken moth:
straw-headed, foggy,
jacket clinging to you
by one shoulder
like an ironic flag.
America has claimed you!
Just like Our Moon,
those ironic flags of liberty.

Chortling, choking
on nothing but your
immovable child-like
sadness. Leathery
wings sprawled, gaping,
stinking of whiskey and ****.
You were screaming
at a woman across the aisle
whose eyes also gaped,
who didn't see the revolution,
who feared her reflection in the
eyes of "Made In The USA".

Who is she? What form
have you given her?
The mother who soaped
your tongue with her bitter morals?
The sister who boiled her
life away on a spoon?
The lover who embraced your wounds
despite EVERYTHING
and then became one?

You were eating an apple
from your pocket,
"Red Delicious,
the MOST American fruit!"
It was mostly rotten, sweaty
brown core staring into me
like a terrible moth's eye.

I watched you until
my stop,
I'm sorry I don't know why.
When the bus-man shoo'ed you off
I heard you scream after me,
really howling.

I'm sorry I can't save you,
I'm a moth too.

I ran home this morning
and left all the lights on.
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