I'm not confused.
Nor jealous.

I know they're happy.
I'm happy for them.

I am hurt but not by her.

By everything else in this world.

I'm not hurting you.
Not hurting her.

So don't..

Write

Poems

About

Me.

i thought.

you tasted like lust and you smelt like wintergreen and your hands were feathers and tickled my skin.


i know.

you tasted like skoal.
you smelt like smoke.
your hands felt like regret.

My mind swims when I see you
As I say "hi"
All intelligible thought leaves my mind
To only leave behind
Stick figure drawings of me and you
I mean that figuratively for given enough time
I would paint you a masterpiece
But this drawing was all I could muster for the sheer surprise
Of seeing you before my eyes
I try to regain myself and maintain my "suave" facade
Yet I find myself looking more like an awkward giraffe
I continue to jumble my words like a frustrating jigsaw puzzle
Also I'm pretty sure that my last sentence was in pig-Latin
I sprinkle in incorrect quotes from obscure 80's movies
And you still look at me with that unfazed look
A third party looking at my performance may have thought they were watching some sort of comedy routine and a poor one at that
I try to close my mouth to stop this mess
Yet my brain doesn't spare me such pity
I continue till I am sure that I have buried any chance of ever knowing you
Yet when I look up, I see a smile spread across your face

Never topped your list.  I'm forever number two.

Say you will always need me, made me your special fool.

Burn the notes of all that was, all that could have been,

Your fire spat in my face, pain I'd hope you never meant.

Find another knight, your Champion is your demise.

The dreams of normalty to be buried beyond those pained eyes.



Take a look, it's gonna be something

You won't soon forget.

The future of what you've sown

I'll be sure you'll regret.

All comes crashing down

Sanity losing sight.

Ignored, all of your cries

Hoping to see me tonight.



Keep the dark bits close, don't you dare let go.

Memories of those evils none should ever know.

Three letters to the proper noun who acts so cruel

Bend to the wills infinite, crumble under their rule.

Torment live and inversely **** from within you,

No longer can you run to your number two.



Take a look, it's gonna be something

You won't soon forget.

The future of what you've sown

I'll soon make you regret.

All comes crashing down

Sanity losing sight.

Ignored, all of your cries

Hoping to see me tonight.

In a room with 47 people
Some of us are great friends
Others I barely know
The younger ones group up
The middle ones group up
The babies don't know
The ones around my age look with eyes of knowing
They feel realer
They can look back at more
But it won't last
They too are fading
Who comes in later to sit, I wonder
And who has been forgotten
And later
when I am just one small piece of that last person to come to us
will the woman numbered 47 be remembered by her at all?

I once told myself something
I was probably the age of 8
walking between two white poles
on my way home
from a friends house down the way
I stopped
Grabbed the two poles
Swung myself across the black asphalt
jumped and then stopped.
I gave myself a number
I don't know why I felt the need to
but I had to.
and ever since 28 has been on my mind.

So here's to you,
here's to me,
here's to everything we wanted to be.
In a world of the not-good-enoughs,
the half-remembered-maybes,
maybe we can be enough,

you and me.