If i told you i needed help
would you listen?
Or would your silence
Echo off the walls.
See my life is like a car,
Sometimes moving fast
And other times so **** slow.
If i told you i feel hurt inside
would you not just hear
but listen
to what i said
I need someone to care.
Im tired of trying to fight alone.
Im tired of trying to survive at a table for one.
If i told you
I cry all over my body
And each tear is a knife
And they are leaving scars on my flesh,
Would you cut me a bandage,
Sop up my blood,
Or leave me to bleed out.
If i told you
I was alone and my demons are taunting me
would you get me out
Or would you keep walking
or keep scrolling...
Im not begging for attention,
But one cannot be expected to be alone and silent like a life long detention.
If i told you
I was ready to confess everything
Come clean from my secrets,
Strip myself naked so you could see my imperfections
would you care even the slightest bit
Or are you so selfish
And so ignorant
To walk on
And leave this person to die.
If i told you i was ready to die
would you blame it in cliche,
Or believe it and save me from damnation
Its time to think.
It could be up to you
This isnt just my world,
Its yours, too
and dont you want to be
somebody
To someone?
I need you.
Because all of these "if i told you's
Are becoming
**im telling you

last year went so fast with
so many fights
tears shead
days full of hate.

"I was way to brocken it lasted years "
"way to many people went to help me up"
"but every last one pushed me down further than before"

goodbye last years heartbreack
goodbye last years tears **

GOODBYE 2014

even is they scream  for me to stay
even as the beg me to breath and say alive
this world will never change
it is still selfish, full of hatred
even if someone loves me
even if I love someone
this world will never change
it is still selfish, full of hatred
if I should Spread my wings and finally  take flight
even this wont make the world right

mum
I beg you please
don't take me back to this war ground
im forced to see as home
please I beg you
don't make me spend another moment feeling not good enough
don't make me go home to the yelling and screaming

                                       they call me names
                                           they put me down
                                      why am I not good enough
im trying my best to up hold my promise to you
im trying not to fight with her
im trying to be good enough
im trying to be a good loving big sister*
                     * I know I let what going on in my head take control
                      im trying to stay hopeful that these tablets will
                                                FIX WHAT HOLDES ME CAPTIVE
please I beg you don't take me home
were I don't belong
were I don't fit in
and were im alone

i've lived three hundred lifetimes
i know three hundred ways to die
I can't stop coming back here
I know, because I've tried

An endless cosmic circle
Where my soul is on the move
I've lived three hundred lifetimes
I'm stuck in an empty, hollow, groove

I'm lost, but I don't know it
I'm lost, but I can't tell
I'm lost, but I don't know it
I'm lost, in times deep well
I'm lost....so lost
I'm lost...so lost

I've come back as a sailor
Then I drowned while out at sea
I've come back as a mother
died in pregnancy

Each time, there is a feeling
That I've been in this place in time
I can't explain the feeling
I'm in a groove, not on a line

I'm lost, but I don't know it
I'm lost, but I can't tell
I'm lost, but I don't know it
I'm lost, in times deep well
I'm lost....so lost
I'm lost...so lost

I know that I have met you
Once or twice our paths have crossed
There's a feeling that surrounds you
But, still I feel that I am lost

After three hundred seven lifetimes
Before I'm in the ground
I've got a feeling that we're special
I'm lost as lost, but, not quite found

I'm lost, but I don't know it
I'm lost, but I can't tell
I'm lost, but I don't know it
I'm lost, in times deep well
I'm lost....so lost
I'm lost...so lost

You know, I didn't even know it
That I was lost, until you came
into my life and found me
because you too had felt the same

Until you came along and found me
I didn't know I was lost...but you
Came into my life and found me
I guess that's what soul mates do.

I'm lost, but I don't know it
I'm lost, but I can't tell
I'm lost, but I don't know it
I'm lost, in times deep well
I'm lost....so lost
I'm lost...so lost