I'm with you but sometimes I wonder
If you're with me
Cuz when I say I love you sometimes
You just laugh and turn the other way.
There are days when I look at you and feel
An overwhelming coldness grip me
Like that first day of winter when I know
Fall has come to an end
And soon all of the beauty of Autumn
Will fall to the ground to be covered
And forgotten in the snow.
Once in a while when you smile at me
I know you love me for just that second
Like a film cell taken out of a
Movie that never ends...
Some days are fun and we go on trips to
Places we never even heard of
In states we never even saw
Just on a whim like a couple of bums
We picked up and packed up
And had *** in random beds along the way.
How can I love you so much
And give you so much
When I barely even see the real you
And when I do
He scares me...
I find myself wanting more and I feel bad
Because I know with you
I'll never get it
But I can't help but hope that one day
You'll see what you have
And you'll want to be better for me...
I wonder if that makes me
Selfish or if it just proves that
I'm only human.

I guess this was what it was like,
For my nana when she asked if it was ok for her to let go,
Cancer for her, depression for me,
How could anybody say no?,

I know now how it feels,
To live with a disease,
Eating at your body,
Begging god to just please...

Stop.

You know how when you were a kid and your mom made you smile for a photo you weren't in the mood for?
That's how this for me,
Everyone saying cheese,
Or cheer up,
Or ******* smile,
******* I don't want to,
I don't wanna be alive tonight or any night like this,
Too bad every nights like this,

I guess this is how you know I'm near the end,
When my poems are starting not to rhyme,
I'm starting to feel it in the wind,
I'm running out of time.

We all have our fears.
Run away and they chase you.
Embrace them, they wilt...

Stuck between the moment
Of reality and make believe
If I could grab a hold
I wonder which side would set me free

A gravitational pull
Keeping me locked between
A choice within myself
To others it remains unseen

Desert pool shimmers/
   Drinking water from cupped hands
   Cool sweetness of life

r ~ 5Mar14

What if one day
All of the broken hearts
Could find each other
And help each other
Stitch them back
Together?
I'm not sure how
Or why
Or where.
But people keep saying
Time heals all things
And that is a lie.
It is not okay
To make me go on
This broken.
I do,
But that's not the point.
Find me,
Maybe we can all
Figure it out.