today i feel everything and nothing all at once
broken memories collect themselves in the pit of my stomach
spilling out between the gaps in my ribcage
leaking through the spaces like morning light through shutters left wide open
today i feel distant
today i feel lost
today i feel like the ground pushes against my feet
hot summer concrete branding its heat into the calloused soles of my feet
my imaginary feet
for i am everywhere and nowhere all at once
i exist in places that don’t exist
my metaphysical body breaks itself into pieces and spreads itself across vast scapes of nothing
searching for thoughts that i cannot reach
my bones position themselves between pages within forgotten bookshelves
my nonexistent bones
i run out of air more times than my lungs can inflate and deflate like round balloons
i run out of words more often than my invisible body solidifies and melts again in the undoing of my defeated mind
beaten with sticks
disfigured by rocks
diminished by mephitic smoke
the malodorous devil
entering my mythical body through any empty space it finds
cutting me open and flaying my brain into two broken halves
the right holds my desolation while the left cradles my emptiness
and perhaps it is this split within my body that rejects my will for omnipotence
and offers me defeat in a package tied with string
perhaps it is that this will does not exist
my fabled body deminishing itself into ashes spread across the universe
perhaps it is that i am not everywhere
and i am not nowhere
i am here
and i do not feel a thing

Gently, she goes
as soft as a fawn
opens the window
and waits for the dawn
fireflies glow
wind caresses her face
as she sheds all the shadows
not leaving a trace
She dons velvet darkness
wrapped in its cloak
releases all poisons,
                 sylphlike,
             in smoke
She is preparing for battle
in her own, quiet way
She only wants wholeness
as she breaks through the gray
For soon she will weave
prismatic wonders of spells
her own inner aurora
lighting heaven from hell
For suffered she has
and it's time to forgive
unlock self-made prisons
and let herself live
and now as sunrise approaches
stars still in sight
she turns the skeleton key
and glides
into
             flight

I’ve never received a flower
Or even a rose
But I’m a guy
So it’s acceptable I suppose
No kisses
Or sweets
No treats
That signifies ones feelings for me
No token of ones love
But I have gotten
Disappointment
Watered with hate
Planted in betrayal
Fertilized with lies
And maintained by fakes
Roses are Red
But my roses are dead
And crumble beneath my feet

My heart condemned to a cell  
became so shrunken by disuse
All my lovely things
shoved to a corner
near a radiator
for its rhythm, right, and heat  
Crushed by all the useless rules
reigned down from The Above
proclaiming—

"Certainty!"
of “what should be.”

My heart was never made for such a small space

But now—
atrophied and bowed by fear
prison garb seems comfortable
I don't think too much of hope or love in here
Too wary and too tired
to defend the right or wrong of it—or me
The sentence: so much more than I could bear:

“Life of Loneliness
no parole"

It’s good I didn’t hear the words
I would’ve died of grief

But all those years—

I served!
__

I wipe my eyes on the reprieve

Spent some time—
on my release
in cold gusts by the shore
where there’s room-- so finally
to breathe

Lifted my eyes into
the risk of clouds
the withered sun

If wind and sorrow
share the tears
that have returned


I figure...
so can we...

...share love
in a large room

knocking down guilt’s darkest walls

where souls make jails to keep from getting free
...Let them find each other there

Lifeless fire and smoldering embers
in her eyes of unborn moons.
Hair that tumbles and strangles,
rolling in whispers of thunder.

Crawl into her mouth
so she can swallow you whole.
Pray that you sink
into her inky soul.

Withering to ash
in the echo of her laugh,
grateful you ever lived
wrapped in her wrath.

Rest between her lips,
dying for a kiss.
Give her it all,
weeping in bliss.