All I do is want and want want want—
So much it could eat me alive
If I’m not careful I will  
Swallow myself up whole
Without stopping to take a bite.

I want to run away
Back into the seventh grade
I want to lay my head on my mothers lap
And feel her comb her fingers through my hair

I want to go there
To that moment we became friends
That bond we thought could never end
Our youth spent on wanting to grow up

I want to feel complete again
I fear that was the last time I ever did
Time is my worst enemy
I cannot seem to stop it
From forgetting to pick me up,
And move me along with it.

I’m so starved for conversation
For a friend
I just really want a friend
I just need one
Just somebody who likes to be around me
And we can talk for hours or sit in silence
And still have fun
We could gossip and do each other’s makeup
And I could let them cry on my shoulder
And I could cry on theirs
And they would listen, really listen to me
And understand me

I am alone
I have no friends
Not even one
Nobody likes to be around me,
Or talk to me or even be in the same room as me.
I’m no fun.
I can’t gossip because I have no friends
And my shoulder is hard to cry on
And I cry too much for theirs
My problems are minuscule,
Nobody could empathize with me.

I am sitting alone in my bedroom.
I just got off work.
My boyfriend is still gone.
Nobody is home.
In this infinitely finite pocket of time,
It almost feels as if I do not exist.

The bedroom door is closed,
I picture space and nothingness beyond it.
It surrounds my room,
It creeps in my head.
This cage of loneliness does not leave.

I know right now,
Nobody is thinking of me.
Nobody is wishing they were next to me.
If I were to just disappear,
Nobody would notice.
That is freeing, and terrifying.

Consciousness is a cage
I do not wish to live in anymore

Can’t catch a break or my breath
I’m going to die from all this stress

You’re all sharp teeth and jagged edges
Every time we touch it’s electric
Slowly taking bites from my hips to my lungs.
Break my ribs open
There’s my heart next to my shattered sternum
When you pull away my breathing is ragged
Lick the blood off your bottom lip.
Smile.
Kiss me with it.

I am a bottomless ocean
Keep digging in
See what uncharted breadths I hold
I’m a new species of lonely
A new species of tired
I’m a new species of run down

I’m a brand new car with 300,000 miles on it
A newborn child that doesn’t scream when it cries
A kitten that doesn’t play with string

I’m a pretty broken thing