There is
a ripeness
          pending.
It stares at
me in the face,
          unblinking,
like an animal
ready to pounce.
It drinks in
my psyche,
             my blood
pumping
in its wild, tender veins.
It soaks up
the vitality
           clamoring
within me, like
a tornado
about to break force,
winds gathering
tightly under moonlight
a cosmic dam about
                      to burst.
It is a spell
cast into wilderness,
pristine and untouched,
yet longing for fulfillment
an undoing
of the senses
a subconscious unraveling
that journeys into
            unknown vistas
                with no map
Perhaps the
only real guidance
is each fine-tuned
          sensibility in turn:
Eyes taking in the colors
within pulsing electricity
as they merge
             and re-separate
into distinct tinctures
of luminosity  
Ears welcoming
the instruments
        of our bodies
as they writhe in tune
with acoustic passion,
hearing the cries of
wolf and owl whispers
          of trees deeply
reverberating into nightfall
Smell, to inhale
the muskiness of earth
the salt of sea
the crisp dusk of fire
and your pinelit, animal scent
                           familiar yet far
tracing me to you
like predator to prey
in magnetic vortex
  Touch,
                 to hold the
strands of my being
in place, steadied
by mahogany and silk
soft and solid at once
as the rhythms of storm
                 rock the house
And then:
Taste
to lusciously peel back
the layers of
             our essence        
letting them brew
in their own juices      
as they gather
  upon the tongue
in an effulgent stream:
sweet merging with salt
      pleasantly sour and piquant
with understanding
whetting appetites
in a sumptuous feast
         of enlightenment
that only shows us how,
in both primitive and
             ethereal awareness,
we had known this
was going
to happen
       all our
             lives

You touched my clavicle
and all was electricity
my bones humming
my blood a rush
You said, "Hey, let's glide
through this beauty
in the way only we
know how"
It felt right to me
so I took your hand
and put it where the heart
meets explosions
and we ran into the burning,
ourselves a wildfire,
pouring cups of
that exclusive
homemade magic
and lifting it to each other's lips
arms raised to
the crash of skies

Somewhere between exalted ****
and archangel,
I slide between your cracks
melt down your shadows
heat your bones into
gentle soup
take your froth
and spread it like cream
over my peaks
And you, just looking at me
with that adoring gaze
You teach me
what love is

Dark, so sweetly
spirals of black
slaking black
in layers
        of rhythm
liquid night
brush-stroked
        into oblivion
drink up, my love
let thirst
       be satisfied
let the pulses
of rock and hard
places be
         hotly gratified      
dusty artifacts
in alternation
as we imbibe the potions
           of manifestation
they twist and turn
bubble up through the muck
electrify the system
as we get ready to ****
  up all those hollow,
vapid schemes
busting them apart
         demolishing themes
of stereotyped hearts
smashing through convention
until the dry becomes wet
reaching ascension
in tears and sweat
the water gets flowing
     down from mountain ice
as we pulverize limits
          without thinking twice
and while obscurity
of twilight in the shadows
             of dusk
blurs our vision
in harsh realities, brusque
we know that we must be who we are
live this life in full force
filter broken voices
that sabotage our course
      and in a flick
                 of a whisper
an ancient eye blinks
and with one feral breeze
we are over
         the brink
like a fall from a
cliff in a delicate arc
              we open up
our buried layers
to the obsidian
              spark

up from luminous dream,
in the soft hours
of deep night's thrall
suddenly discovering
I am in
          our small corridor,
no longer
                  a narrow hall
for now, to my wonder
it is stretched into
milky-way cathedral
walls robed in
flashes of
     lit-up nostalgia
                 on black
I float, eyes wide
mind open, a-light
naked skin splashed in
the cool nocturnal breath
and before me,
    a vast gallery
          of memories:
faces in frames,
some long gone
some now turned from
round baby cheeks into
vibrant adolescent beauty
delicate curls on toddlers
now muscular,
                fire-talking angels
ancestors who I never knew
but who I am named for
stare in sepia elegance
their eyes
piercing my soul
I am a warrioress
clothed in memories'
sub-conscious fabric
my weapons,
the love
that backs me up
so full it oozes out
            from the ether
spews from geysers
soaks up through
                      the earth
stains beaten feet
my fingers feel it
in strokes of
wind-whipped canticles
generations standing
behind me,
before me
ready to rise
holding staffs
live epitaphs
ready to split the rock

My center is lit up in
past and present voices
                 echoing prayers
I feel them in my
            heart-tunnels,
                     reverberating
they turn
future ponderings
into endless possibilities
I let them all in,
absorbing strength
into deep tissue
and the hell in my spine
opens its scars
like
    flowers of
               the
                  night

Inside the
immolation
of my flaming mind
almost roasting
in its own juices,
thoughts trickling down
into physical matter
and into the
lush cusp of words,
words that twist and turn
and curl around my tongue
as they wind their way
into realms divine
and sacredly profane,
entwining the alchemy
of lost magic
with the fabric of stars--
Yes,
in this trance of absolute divinity
I stand within
my own sacred love temple
ready to take in
whatever comes
in highest form
ready to unfurl and release it
into the breathing spaces
tightly packed between
the tapestry of this existence
so closely interwoven
within the stellar,
cellular matter
of our beings
of earth
of constellation
of fire
of sea
Here,   I need to not only
cast my thoughts
into the vastness of air
not only paint the night sky
with sounds that emerge,
so guttural, from my
deepest knotted chords
but actually consummate
this force within
consume it and be consumed
bring it to light
with my own
sacrosanct
manifestation…
blast it forth
in shoals of white
conjure it from
the source, pristine
    fight the fight
for truth, for love
           and all that's
in
      between

How social media
can run through fingers
like silk
easy to glide
pleasing to the eye
No one can actually see
the jagged edges

Sometimes they are rocks
that slice through tender
skin as you climb them
Sometimes they are
rough-cut jewels,
still ensconced
in earth and roots
glowing yet raw

Sometimes, perhaps most,
the silken threads are real
The joy that shines through
exists.
Only later, off camera
rough ropes can burn
words can sting as cuts

In a turn of a heartbeat
They tie you
restrain limbs
try to break you
Well, I say
They cannot
restrain my glow.
That shines no matter what.
And, like magic
I will turn those rope burns
into silken kisses
that heal
release the pain into cool, night air
and break free
of illusion

In this darkest of hours
I am ready
to be lit up
like a firebrand
the liquid
heat is
already rising
way above sea level
and I am wanting
to extend out
my hand to you
take you to
my soft lair
of emotional rescue
where ecstasy
will drip from our fingers
like wine
poured onto our bodies
play soft or hard
yet keep it fair
no intention
to smash your heart
just to build you up
and take you apart
Each sweet piece
treated with care
re-polished
and put back into place
renewed rejuvenated
just as you will participate
in my tribal dance
and make me
glow
I will become
one with yours,
my ebb,
your flow

Deep inside,
it is about to burst out
to come up through
my skin
Flowers weaving through
my ribcage
my lungs, breathing
cannot stop them
as they wind their way
and push through
An entire garden
growing in my heart
I am ready, so ready
for the next, most
beautiful part
Irises, roses, hyacinth
flourish in full bloom
Crocus bluebell coxcomb...
They burst their colors,
making room

Take me to a higher place,
let me give of myself fully
Let this love wash over me
in a sacred river's rush
let inner joy course through my veins
let me open myself to trust
I want its head to rear up
petals to burst open
as the stamen stands with pride
This will come
it will happen soon
For there is nothing more
to hide

You opened me up
like an ancient,
locked treasure box
brought me up
from the sea floor
dusted off
the algae that
had clung to it
all these years,
coating me with armor
That sea-dust had
protected me,
a shy, gentle maid of the sea
from the predatory dangers
that lurk in the dark
the angry barracudas, the lying sharks
Yet that filmy, misty brine
closed me off
to the glories of the ocean wonders
the smiling sea horses
the loving sonor of whales
And then you, undersea explorer
opened up the real treasure:
in shining, beating blue
my wild ocean heart
made of tides and mystic hues
and showed me
the multi-glow shimmer
of the waves
from underneath
re-introduced me
to the raging beauty of the corals
within me
Yes, it seems
that even mermaids
sweet nymphets
of ocean lore
want to love
and be loved
to the core

Sometimes
the burning
is so powerful
that I
might as
well be
tied to a stake
like the pagan
wise-women of yore
mistaken for witches
no dousing
with gasoline
necessary
for the inside
is already so
slick with
simmering
flammability
combustable
liquids
that trickle
down my thighs
into the earth
and create dark steam
that turns into light
as its luscious
vapor rising
from my being
Soon I will
simply evaporate
and become
atmospheric
ether floating
up towards
stars
and raining
love down
into the
tender receptacle
of your
being

You are in my heart -
You reside
between the beats
sometimes I must
catch you
so I may simply breathe
I get palpitations
with adrenaline rushing
When you play
My heartstrings
My cheeks start blushing
The music you play
Inside my soul
Reverberates
And moves me
Down to my toes
I dance, I swoon
My feet turn to jelly
Hot burning waves
Sear deep in my belly
Oh this is crazy
But that's just fine
Play me and strum me
Until I make you mine
I will be your instrument
You will be my notes
Just beat the drum
until my heart floats
under the moon's glow
we sing out our joy
and the music flows
without inhibition
inside my being
And I am filled with wonder
At the power of my feelings
So keep beating on, heart
(Because I know you
Are there)
Let our tongues whisper music
Into the night air

Undo your mind
help me to undo mine
It's time to set  
our spirits free
release what is rational
into the trees
time to conjure
beasts to play
allay all fears…
Yes, it's safe inside
this sacred space
This is where
we can surrender
to the primal forces
to the mountains' calling
this is where
we can gather sources
and let the smoke
roll off of our fingers
into the night's
licking fires
Come, now
allow yourself
to feel the breeze
as it caresses
strand by strand
our hair,
kisses in lightness
our tear-stained cheeks
I throw my nakedness
into the wind
invite the elements to
reveal themselves
I gather all
my strengths around me
allow my lips
to bless them,
one by precious one
I taste the very air
that confounds me
releasing confusion
to touch the unknown
and when this ritual is done
when the divine energy
starts to course through
at an even higher level
we look at one another
smile locking smile
grab hands
              and
                           run

The last time I saw you
was in 2011

You tousled my son's hair
cupped my daughter's chin
in front of the museum
You met me
in your black business suit
as the thick heat
of New York City
coated us

Your grandchildren stared at you,
smiled in shy half-moons
before my mom
took them home.
Then,
just you and I.

We sat for a cold moment
in the restaurant.
I longed for
something more personal
than a swank Upper West Side
joint, and ate nothing
Only water could
slide down
my throat,
and words stuck there

I was thirsty
for the you I had known
A big bear hug
dancing in the living room
to Olivia Newton-John
How you swung me around
and we laughed, my hair flying

I was thirsty
for our secret language
created one summer
for our silly jokes
in restaurants,
people-watching
on Second Avenue
the 80s punks in
East European diners
eating potato perogin
after their long night out

You disappeared on me
             and then
after she, my sweetest star,
got sick
you reappeared
calling me every day
to check up on the flowers
in your garden
How you came back
to water it
in your own way

and now
I am only waiting to
cross the oceans,
fly straight into
your arms,
enfold your once-infinite
bear hug invincibility
into my fragile
heart

After a night of paradise
Love flowing from the very walls
Music flowing from my body
Onto the dance floor
As sensual as ***, yet with only eyes upon me
No touching,
just the deliciousness of looking,
with emotions touched
as the eyes understand,
Something understood without talking
After a night of love like this
You really  know how to gut me out
leave me empty, my insides spilled
like shattered glass
upon the floor
ready to cut those who walk upon it.
My heart , clear as glass,
beats upon that floor, hoping you'll pick it up.
I love you to no end, and I know you love me.
We will be okay.
But in the meantime my heart beats twofold:
Once, upon the steaming platforms of love
Where my body moves in perfect rhythms
Once, on a bed of shards
Where every move may mean a cut.

I have found it.
That certain
circular way of being
I was looking
                for it,
                     so hard
my soul in turmoil
one slight scratch
under smiling surface
and I would become
a sculpture
made of wax
                melting
at the slightest
wisp of breath
burning ,
               mercilessly
at certain words
                forming
from your mouth,
your mouth—
that has placed
itself upon me
so many times
on our mutual
faraway cliffs
that no-time-zone
meeting point
above stars,
in other universes
     and believe me.
Nobody can
live this way,
suffering for
the want
of an uncontrollable
urge to be
          so
            very loved
So I have found it.
My way back
to balance
it was in your voice
and my own
together mingling
clear lines of phone
cut through soul tingling

I now take this lotus,
planted in my being
since birth,
and hold my stance
prepare to
               perform
the sacred dance
a mandala-painted
halo around my crown
a holy stone
in each hand,
          buoying my spirit,
anxiety down
stones I will never
cast upon you
because you
are forever me
             even as I
take my heart
with two hands
and return it,
still aflame,
into
           my
                 chest

Sitting near
the earthly fire
watching the flames reach up
into the primal being
of lightness
we feel heat about to encroach
and crashburn.
We might not be here 'til morning
and so we really ought
to begin:
It is time for the ritual
of gift-giving
best done
when dark forces take over
in smooth snowflake obsidian
under raging moonspells
and time that sometimes tells
in whispers of the earth-scented dance
of night creatures
I cast the first chant into
your open radar:
gush of hot metal
almost pain but not quite
you are being cleansed in black
and now must give back
passing the herbs of your tongue
onto mine
in heady tonic
an expedition
in the sear
of ghost pepper
garments are no longer
needed here
and we can now
cast them to the winds
as the ritual of
giving
only now truly
begins

I am no
warmonger
Yet, today,
I am ready
for battle
Hand above brow
searching the mountains
for enemies,
I hold my staff
My sword in tow
My face upturned
To the burning snow

Yes, I am
A warrioress
In her half-polished armor
Some parts shiny, as if new
others marked, beat up
dented, burnt
a rough-hewn tribute
to the steely trials
I've been through

War goddesses
Sekhmet and Athena
Freyja, Astarte
By my side
As I ready my stallion
For the dangerous ride
"We are lucky,"
I whisper, in her beautiful ear
"That time is on our side...
No time for fear"

I am my own commander
In this field of combat
I only have my heart
To wear on my sleeve
I will take my victory
In my vulnerability
Before I close the
doors again
So all of those
non-desireable factors
Better not
upset me

I have always come in peace
I am a gentle soul
But all of this….

Now the tables have turned.
I am ready to yell
My battle-cry
Arms posed for arrow strike
Hair streaming wild
Eyes with the focus
Of a hawk
Watch out.
Take heed.
For I have learned
That good girls
Fight back.
No need to
Senselessly
Bleed
No need to take
unnecessary flack
I have had enough
Of apologies
Enough lowering my brow
I am taking Life
Into my own hands
And my time
To live is
Now
Stand back
Here I come
Move aside
Before I
come
undone

I am bursting up and out
       into the flow of the stars
pulled into the night air
      as if by magnetic forces
I am colliding with comets
        yet not quite exploding
it's that ecstatic moment
      just before the tiny lights run
from toes to head in electric pleasure
          harmony with the universe
vibrates within
                pulses in aurora arcs
I am a space traveler
      my soul light glowing
unto the earth
   freshly released from the dark
in perfect syncopation
It is ecstasy without losing total control
It is beauty within sultry beauty
It is the letting go
          of temporary madness
the culmination of much awareness
                         a celebration of inner knowledge
It is so tangible I can taste it
and as dewdrops
of rainbow light prisms
dance upon my tongue
I am beaming
thankful
Oh so thankful
               for all
I now become

You have me
           between
a polished rock
     and a hard place
like up against
the fridge
         or perhaps the wall
and if these swamplands
get any damper
I might
have to change
         the protocol
The humidity is rising
hot and wet, today, they say
it's best to proceed carefully
lest the steam fogs
up the way
Soon these swamps
will give way to jungle
for the heat is just too deep
I'm trying to fight it off
roasting slowly in my sleep
The calefaction is just too much
it drives me to distraction
like a fire in the brush
igniting lust for satisfaction
As for me
             I'm going swimming
in the nearest
lake or creek
my skin is
already dripping
so bring your love
                  to fix the leak

This rainforest of longing
    could break me at the seams
but when you show me your bare essence
the butter turns to cream
Oh ****
I am so between that hard place
and the rock we talked about
It's making me quite crazy
But let there be no doubt:
I need this tender conflagration            
even if my head
          stays in a spin
This frenzied circle
will go on and on
until the first blush
of skin
       on skin

I  wish
to have
a love
not swathed
over futile lines
of white washed
paper flowers
that creep up
upon the trellis
as I stand
in frozen
princess-like
stance
but wild horses
ready to break
down the door
as they burst in
to capture me
their perfect
imperfections
matching mine
as we dance the dance
of intimate waves

I am ready
To be shaken
in the wind
my heart a-stir
yet gently grounded
as leaves fall
to the ground
I want the magic
of the small things
to light me up
even during times
of routine
Yes the stars are vast
And we will be under them
As we gaze beyond time
Yet also
create our
special brand of wonder
within the tiny ways
of the day to day

You
      I see
in smile-crinkled eyes
our later emotional distance
would have led
to my demise

You
how we reunified
awkward, then sweet
I almost didn’t recognize
              this frail man
standing by
the train station street
only when you
waved, started
limping did I understand
       And I said, "No! Wait" and
flew over to you,
a five-year- wait
for a bearhug
  so long overdue

You had forgotten your cane
in the excitement
of it all
My heart was strained
in tenderness
and worry that you
would fall

You
only you
could always make me
laugh uncontrollably
embarrassing me
in NY streets
   with songs and general madness
teaching me about life
on our city walks
and talks
observations made
through Second Avenue
diners
   and Sunday parks
our secret language
           and made-up
funky creature
our "who's gonna eat
the most spicy thing"
an essential
Chinese restaurant
                  feature

I cried each night
for a month
after you left the house
          thinking you left because of me
even though you and mom
explained it countless times
that this was untrue
but alas--- seven-year-olds
have their reveries
and when you did remarry-
a few years later
I grew to love her, too

My crazy-sweet
quietly loving
always open to me
never judging
How I hurt you
So unintentionally
And how finally,
in such grace,
you came back to me

You
are still my precious
bear hug sweet daddy
survivor of war
of car accidents
always wanting me
to meet my dreams
I think of you, now
so lonely
over there
I sit in my solitude
quietly stare

How ironic
We are again close
yet an ocean apart
a phone line's airwave
away
from my
        open heart



'

take me
to the
space where
the  magnets of
                  our souls
rise up in mad thunder
sadness pushed
right out of stratosphere
a tidal wave rush,
       no warning--
as flames seep
through our skin
the burn cleansing
those cracked cuts
                          of glass,
searing granules of pain
that foam up
             from our pasts
and our wounds
get so pumped up
with love
       they bloom exotic
into
      floral entities
curious and strong
offbeat shapes
of undefined texture-
yet they suit us,
each throbbing petal
      intoxicated in
endorphin glow,
         softening as
tender eyefuls
of kisses embed
themselves in
our torrid earth

I will wrap my tendrils
                       around you
I will carry us, freshly seeded
   through these aching,
whipped-up winds
I will follow the arcs
  of aurora borealis
         beatific crystalline
I will let the wings beat
fast and full,
as they are meant to
I will release the
quicksand haze
of heaviness
that sometimes consumes us
and unravel depths
of the chaos within
In the meantime
just underneath,
a mere scratch
   under surface
a width of a molecule
from the pulse of skin
roars the breath of
            eternal blaze
etched in the silent layers
of your
              tattooed gaze
inked upon my essence
           in ancient runes
carved upon my heart
my quivering thighs,
a bond sealed in blood
and lingering sighs
Under dark rocks
rays of prismatic
                     rainbows
burst forth
unexpectedly,
        in phosphorescent miracle
release us from
our caged-up fury
Liquids morph into solid,
still iridescently fluvial
I reach out to you
pour fire
       in your veins,
for you are
      my Light
ebullating our souls
in healing trance
through the
       restless echoes
of
      night

Here is the old
Victorian table
of rich cherry-polished wood
set so nicely
for the afternoon meal
but there will be no conventional
repast today
click of locked door
clink of
utensils
upon the floor
whoosh of cloth napkins
tossed to the side
beauty of inhibitions thrown
in silent
animal pride
come to me
now
I climb on the surface,
So smooth
Let me offer you
some succulent thigh
my roundness is ready
for your consumption
and I need to devour your
deep beauty
the fire in your eyes
let it go right into me
with every bite
move towards me
as I open to you
It is time for this
luscious, tender feast
to be relished
and
consumed

We are
the creatures
of the night
no tears for us
as we soar
taking on
such glorious
         heights
up through
trees, up
through the
invisible threads
between stars
in silvery wefts
I will bring home
the nourishment
to my little ones
nestled in their
warm nesty twiggy
holes safe curled
in lairs
we are
the protectors
of the light
that starts
in darkness
and arcs
        like a flare
we ride alone
but when we give
we yield
completely in
full thrusts and
curlicues,
glow-in-the
dark patterns
as leaves
cascade and
comets fall
around
the shadows
then, in the
morning's first
sun peeking
I land and find
that peace
a kind of
proximity to
that love
I'm
  seeking



'

She sits
looks up
at the stars,
eyes a-light
with turquoise fire
Her dreams weave
a tapestry of colors
and dancing stars
She might not know it,
but her heart is pure
like the arc of a moonbeam
Her hands cup sunlight
which she sips like water
and it glows out from her
Both warrioress
and artist,
feet on ground
yet dreams celestial
her inner wisdom shines
with what in these fourteen years
she has learned
and will always know
So there she sits
humming a sweet song
There she sits
and glows

In this restless desert
things are not as
dry as they seem
for after the plentiful rains
the temporal grass has spread
as quick and alive as wildfire
Looking velvety to the touch,
it waves in synchronicity
as the wind sweeps through
its sharp blades
like a tender stroke of hair
from a lover
wildflowers peep
their heads of color
over the shoots
in vibrant frequencies:
       crimson, yellow, purple
I want to run through them
festoon them upon
my queenly being
not actually touching them
just reveling
in their existence
I want to become vested
in the accoutrements
of simplicity
wear them upon
my essence
in tiny points
of effervescent love
particles of colored joy
that mark me with pointillism
so that when I am sitting
in the cold lonely of the night
I can embrace them
in their royal glory
and be caressed by
the loyalty
      of their
           spark

I want you
like I long
for a return
to myself
as if
to enter
my own
psyche in a
a single lit-up
journey, its
incandescence
led only by
pure breath alone
thoughts out of
bounds as
they fly off
unknown
into the night,
fulfilling
thick waves of desire
dreams in vibrations
love in realms
      higher
the cells weaving skin
go so much deeper
a craving for
a force
uncontrollably sweeter
and I know
that I am intense
with it, like that
but I would not
want it
any other way
for in this
weightiness of emotion
it's the weightlessness
       that stays
a breaking down
of barriers
that ultimately leads
to letting ourselves
open like blossoms,
to see and to be seen
for what is
heaven
but a soul recognition
revealing innermost depths
by our own volition
It is a return
to the lull
of the subaqueous rhythms
to the instincts of pre-birth
          of subconscious decisions
blood knots twisted
                     into the cord
                               of the heart
                       linking its beats
                     to a light-infused
                  spark
sealing the deal
without drowning,
your heart beats into mine
soul within soul
in connection, divine
For the inner eyes
              see in colors
beyond usual hues
and from my
innermost womb
shines a most
beautiful
                  view

"Let's go out to play,"
you say,
and, in a spirulina flash
I'm there
The madness of our tongues
clicking and spinning
as we leap onto the
                  pavement            
running fast, now,
               holding hands
we make a dash for the forest
bound through
           tree-shadows
and soar through
             piles of leaves
I don't need to speak
for you to understand
and you only need to look
into my eyes
to know how much
I see
We lock gazes
bathe in
the halo
of our
beaming faces
and then
         we are off again
sprinting through
                 the  wilds
getting lost
             quite on purpose
dancing in our
            private body language
mixing up those ancient
and modern tongues
as one

Fine-tuned
in strands of
thinnest papery
fiber, crackling
like onion skin
subtle electric
currents spilling
through
invisible wire
Even if I
were to try
to detach
or attempt to
siphon it back
even if it hurts
so much,
to the point of
pure black
I cannot
stop that
strange strong
frequency
its power is electro
magnet pins of fire
crackling across
in unseen desire
tiny crystalline
shards pelting
me inside
in saturated beats
of heart and hide
and even heavy
static electricity
or storms that mess
with synchronicity  
cannot prevent
the pulses
from getting through
as, millions of miles,
yes millions
I am perfectly attuned
to the very
essence
that is
you

I summon the power of ice
and arctic air
as well as
a bit of dark
to calm that
powerful glare
Yes, sweet waters
come cool my Desire
help me realize
my passion and fire
I now sit
and write
send up
rainbows
of pure
Light
as I glow
from embers
that smolder
in the night
my hands
raised
up in supplication
I am in my sacred temple
which I discovered
as I roam
surrounded
by my angels
that can only
wrap their wings
around me
and help my heart
get Home

Crimson droplets
from deep within
my femininity
whir and purr
     into ripe, full spin
It is my time
        for the moon
to glow at its
            brightest
shine in its fullest
              fervor as I
let myself
be relished by
Mother Earth,
reveling in my
          woman spirit love  
Holding my pen
as a sword,
          I dance into
the dark forest,
arms raised
as if to get closer
to the stars
Yes
          they are calling me
as creativity spills
from my fingers
into the atmosphere
my aura communicates
reverberates
          mystical pulses
into the ether
and while pain creates
little uterine explosions
that bloat
and ache,
         a power trips
through me
that cannot
be faked
mood swings,
cravings for
spice
   and ***
sway my mind
like a sharp,
whitened hex
No point in
claiming inhumanity
      for this
hormonal state
is like a bout
                of temporary insanity
and with all of it
     swirling round
and round
with all of the
attempts at
emotional restraint
in themselves
bound, I am
    without complaint
for this is the ultimate
miracle of our bodies
the ripe potential
          to procreate
(if we are so inclined or destined)
or just be
     enfolded in who we are
we are part of
magnetic earthbeats
as we are part of
                the bliss
                      of stars

She comes alive
At night,
Huge cracks in the earth
Becoming fissures
Letting off steam
The rumbling
Getting louder
As she begins to explode
From the deepest
Inner core
Out into space dust
Liquid fire
Splashing through
Licking the surface
Forging precious stones
And minerals
Scorching poison plants
And deadly insects
In its wake
Enough!
She cries
Lifting her fist
To the blackened
Skies
And here it comes
Into the black
The Northern Lights
Are out again
Blinding incandescence
Blazing through the canopy
Of stars and nebulas
Of supernovas
She has become
Her own stellar explosion

As the cosmos
Flies through
Her fingers
Hair streaming,
She throws back her head
***** in the air
Breathes the coolness
Of celestial magic
Into her cells
The call of life force
Clanging inside her,
The sound of galactic bells

The entire Milky Way
Seems to flow
in her bones
her blood stream is already
pulsing at the speed of light
comets speed up in her mind
as she dreams
of new possibilities
Her heart is a bolide
that is on its way
to explode

After so many years
Of just being
****** into someone else's
Vortex
So many years
just wanting to survive
That's it,
Say the stars..
Sweet Woman.
Pay heed.
It's your time to be
Alive
Sept 30 2015

In this frazzled home
furniture is swirling 'round
I open the door

And now is the time
             when I gather
my tribe around me
All the sacred members
            sworn to loyalty
from lands near and far
as we unify as one
and follow that distant star
                   move forward into
the deep promised darkness
                           of night
almost stealthily
as to not wake up the enemy
even if we know
that here there is no
                       real enemy
only the fragments of ourselves
that battle each other secretly
in our quest for learning
dreams that weave their way
                  around our brains
only the questions
that pierce with arrowed pain
with desert static glowing quiet
dusky murmurs of whispers
in their tacit riot        
                  braiding their way
like prayers in the soul
And so you are with me
            helping me stay whole                  
Holding my hands
as I go to release my burden
and let go of the tactical
                   remnants of what was
Express the undoing
                       that must happen
Put the new phase into
tender sprightly action
          there simply is no choice
no turning back now
and you my loving
                  truth warriors
Tribe of so many facets
You have encircled me with
          the most lit up aura ever
Together we long for the dream
beams of light
as we march forward
kindred spirits
into the glowing arc of dawn
and I am ready
to plunge
into the newness of fire
ride the waves of passion
feed pure white desire
So walk with me
             to the sacred ground
Soon I will be back
to complete the next round
The battle has only just begun
whatever has been started
simply must be done
As I step into
              freedom's new sphere
with you at my side
there is simply
no fear

'

This sacred blood is on fire
           to the point of boiling over
A divine pact between
            celestial realms
has been reached
In this ruined temple
a glow exists
just inside the doorway
if you delicately step
over that tender threshold
you will see it for the burning
        Yes, there is a heat rising.
Steamed in sacrifice
I pull back the hood of my anger
and pour it into the vessel
It is time for release
of the pent-up embers
          and jagged ribbons held in stubborn fists
I give it over
like gifts to a demon,
letting it drip from my fingers.
It is time to open up that pit of flames
        cool it with turquoise and violet
I look up
through the strands of time
to witness the pulses of magic
               That inner life force
has been re-kindled, gently
not in the clenched jaws of anger
           but in the wispy trance of joy      
As the stars commune above me,
I am on another sort of constellation
tripping over planets undiscovered
             watching them burst from the stars
There is no known language for this
                only soft-tipped nuance
Words as yet undefined
trip over my tongue
in tiny bits of turbulence
as I am swept up
in the current
             No stopping me now.
I dive into a long-awaited ocean
where I am lit up from within,
flowing over in gratitude
Deep inside
an incandescent glow
blooms
in what was once
a void

I have never
taken hard drugs
but I imagine
that my addiction to you
is similar to *******
or crystal ****
for that angel dust
has covered me
like the most delicate of snows
rock hard ice that penetrates
just beneath my skin
Yes, you have taken
me for a sleigh ride
that white dust all over
I try to shake it off my heart
but it sticks like that first
gentle sugary snowfall
sparkling and so pure.
I could fall right into its depth
and start making snow
angels, moving my legs and arms,
up and down
back and forth
oh what a searing cold
between gloves and sleeves
freeze-burning my wrists
yet I would keep going
just to see the imprint
afterwards that,
like a faded shadow lost
in time and space,
looks like a remnant
of our
love

I remember you
in shades of pseudo
toughness but really
inside sweet
a conglomeration
of rebel-quiet-luscious
flutter of Nordic
New York city eyelash
that fixed stare
strict leather
jacket flare
I loved your brashness
brazen statements
shooting from the hip
as you took your provocative
attitude stance
pouting fullness of lip
we listened to Patti Smyth
and Salem 66
"Wanderlust" curving
up my spine
tension building
in your room
as you stared at me
looked away
each subtly
heated time
your eyes found me
my pulse quickened
in shy leaps
I did not understand
my own feelings
only when
you finally kissed me
did my world spin on its axis
and I understood
that love goes far beyond
what  they say
it should
curve of waist
and gentle ***** of breast
under men's shirts
revealed
only then did I understand
who I am
and how that
fresh snap
of breaking boundaries
feels

The stars are in a rush
around my head
spinning me into woven glitter
turning my body into golden dust
my mind into the silvery beat
                                  of wings
and as I rise from my bed
I am buoyed up by a force
                 not my own
it is so intense
that my mind is blown
I can only look up and let it shine,
this feeling of wholeness
that must somehow be mine
must be from
         a heavenly dimension
such intense loving
a direct extension
of how I wish to see
the world and show its hues
to impart my emotion
and  let loose my muse
such freshness and slaking
of creative thirst
such loving acceptance
a light so bright it bursts
and I am left without proper
words, sentences attempt
               to roll off my lips
and instead, tiny flowers
just twirl off the tips
of my fingers, like smoke to the sky
a cornucopia of feelings
gets me so high
My body grows a garden
petals unfurl from my *******
night blooms flow from my hips
as hyacinths pound
            through my chest
Wisps of
animal instinct
curl up through my spine
which lets me connect
to energy divine
Surrounded by this
               celestial glow
encapsulated within
beatific precision
I let myself bathe in that love
and recharge my vision
this is stronger than the heat
                          of a gentle sun
For this is the beauty,
the power
of a tribe
become One

Today I wish to
take sadness and
throw it
to the winds!
Let a new dawning occur
as I spread silky wings
I will create a blue fire,
Ignite my own spark
Yes
I have been enough
in my cave
enough in the dark
My heart pumps blood
it lights up my veins
The calm pulse of my breathing
Soothes away all pains
My worries are, like feathers,
simply floating away
Oh, I know I can do this
even just for today.

The influx of emotions
        and their ebb
                      and flow
swirl like a cyclone within me
I stand upon the cliffs,
                      hair blowing
                                mind rolling
into nuances
and languages
existing beyond words
 as each feeling whirls
                         and melts
into the other
     until they rise like birds
Around me,                      
each one takes the stance
                     of a miniature kite
attached to my limbs
pulling me this way
                                 and that
Yes, I know that our emotions
 are as rivers,    
                        rushing through
our banks
           soaking the essence
                                of our beings
              with fresh coolness
and alternately,
where it meets sea,
brine in searing tears                  
I know the stillness of my
               own soul, placid as a
                             rock in a typoon    
     yet sometimes
          unable to shake off
the heaviness of algae
it can almost suffocate
and to get through its
            dank seaweed density
          I shall just envision lightness
in the aviary form
              of hummingbirds
or kingfishers…yes, even soaring eagles
tugging on my heartstrings
lifting me up and away
into the proverbial clouds
so I can just
                curl up
         into fetal position
and let myself be
                      gently rocked
                             until the storm
                       blows over

I am made for love
        simply to be swallowed
inside flame
but without burning
too crisply
         feeling just east of
too much pain
I would **** it all down
I would take it all in
I would ingest that
         subtly powerful potion
fling inhibition
to the winds
run through storms
and swim through
          murky, wild ocean
I would don both wings and
antler, or horns
just to show you my
            animal instinct
I would sniff you out
in a hidden thicket
of thorns
even if physically
it's distant
I would sway my hips
join the gypsies
             in their dance
I would get naked
in the river,
hypnotized by the moon's
            seductive trance
I would cross the
longitudinal division
to cup my hands
around your face
slice through *******
         with quick precision  
if it threatened
our sacred space
I would take my sword
and cut any signal
that destroyers
              laid in path
I would challenge
the logical probabilities
of looking into your eyes
or placing my hands
upon you
(so **** what if it defies
                the math)      
The glorious point
of what I am saying
as I trip myself
through you and
fully live it
is that my stars ignite
the power
of this
liberation of
            tightened,
connected spirit
and I am not giving up
I am not succumbing
to the sirens' call
              of demise
Just watch me
bound out
from behind
the slippery
precipice
and see
my spirit rise

My house is falling apart
Doors unhinged
Appliances on the brink
Electricity crackling where it shouldn't be
My heart
Is trying desperately to remain
Unbroken
I hold it like a soapy dish I've just washed
Hang it gingerly on the line
Let the hot desert wind
Caress it
As it beats.
With each beat I go into myself
For another journey into my alternate universe
A carefree adventure
Of travel, love and lust
Stories untold coming to life
As I spring forth and dance
Energy sparking out from my veins
As my heart spills over with joy and vivacious
glory.
As I go through my list of mundane tasks
That keep my house whole and my children safe,
happy and clean
fed with spoonfuls of my love
I am half relieved that I can provide this:
Mother Earth at her best,
protective arms encircling
their realm.
They do not know that
the other half is all caged animal,
Longing for the wild plain,
The jungle, the ocean
To run without stopping
Or swim
As deep as
I please.
Soar as high
As the sky will allow.
What is this fragile balance that tips ever so slightly
Over the brink
Of sanity?
For now collapsing into
A cool crisp bed
On this hot summer night
Will have to do.
I launch into the land of dreams
as my heart beats  on,
its strings pulling ever
so slightly up
delicate cords tethered
to my chest.
I take my kite-heart
And wrap its strings around my home,
keeping it together as I fly away.

August, 2013

Take me
to the river
where bulrushes
silently stand
   Slip your fingers
inside my mind
as we lay back
on the alluvium's
pale, gold sand
Touch those thoughts
whirling 'round
as they're
caught up
      in the tide
Feel up
my soul's desires,
inhibitions-- cast aside
whirling like slick,
smooth algae
          our mouths
show more
than they say
gentle otters check
                        us out
inviting us to play          
Take the fragrance from
those water lillies
rub it on me
instead of clothes
Cup your hands into
                     cool water
and pour it on my toes
Then slake it over
my burning heart,
to soothe its  
         torrid beats
Then let's sprinkle pollen
from the cattails
until we are
covered head to feet
all rich yellow-hued powder
so ready for the bees
and now the time
                      has come, my sweet
to explore
what freedom
          really means          
So take my heart
into your hands
(sorry if it burns)
throw it to the
whirlpool, now gentle
             in its churns
Give me your heart in turn,
thank you kindly
for that gesture
I am not letting go
                 despite its
active embers
My fingers were made,
                          you see
to hold its dark, live coals
kiss its blood-pumped rhythms
love your pain out
if it grows
Now let's jump
into the current,
and echo laughter
through the
      shoals

Walking down
       Second Avenue
inside trips of
       electric pulse
my eyes peeled back
to take it all in
my senses full
       of whizzing
action as I
hold your hand
in innocent wonder
I still take a stand
asking questions,
sometimes shyly
observing how I might
want to be
                    or not
colorful people
some with kids
some with spiky hair
clothes of all kinds
progressive air
we turn the corners
(Dad, are those
two women kissing?)
my eyes wide
yes I must
must keep them open
to access what I'm missing
punk queens and their friends
people of every culture
faces of every shade
some friendly some bitter
from dark onyx
          to cool jade
then sophisticated
streets with window
jewel-toned
                     dazzle
to contrast the
nitty-grit
of Lower East Side
street art
        rough-edged
frazzle
West Side laid back
in its pre-hipster scene
now I am a soul-searching
adolescent, my hair dyed
a minty hue of green
vintage skirts and short-spiked hair
feeling anonymous and happy
loving the looks as I
kept my gaze steady
inside feeling my
budding womanhood
at work, making
                     me heady
and how I remember
as a kid
going to visit my grandpa
                                  at work
way up high
amazed by those Twin buildings
slicing clear blue sky
in an elevator that moved
from winds side to side
seeing the whole world
from the top
what a trip, what pride
Flashback to later
in a far-away land
all pregnant
my mouth dropping open
I watched them be ravaged
cityscape landmarks
sawed off in the middle
like a King Kong movie,
                  our eyes disbelieving
fire and brimstone
so much grieving
Trying to call dad and panicking
(***  is he supposed
go to the WTC branch today??)
Not believing how our
           belief in people
turned us into prey
My city I no longer live in your ribs
But you beat inside me
             today everyday
all months not only September
yet today tears do flow
as I vow
    to remember

Bring me forth
          from that nightflow
magnet for I
    have heard the calls
of my guardians
they have beckoned
                 me into a visionary stupor
pulled my head from the
           quicksand's mulch
my daily chores whirling
                         from my hands
             they are spinning me around
like a an electric charged
                   whirlpool of light
all objects caught up in
its path
             be they leaves
                              or rocks
or household appliances
and I am casting to hell
and highwater
            all of those warnings
as sacred adorations
nick into my solitude
I fling my demons to the skies
          release them to their
                              own salvation
I do not wish them before
                            my eyes
as I work my own deliverance
of beatitudes
   my own song of songs
spun into the glowing
Let them sputter and trip
over their words
           My inner hearing closes
upon their petty phrases as
they mouth them out of sync
             The path opens up before me
               as riverflow
                       in one graceful arc
Here I fight in my own
               siege of Orléans
No point in stopping me
because the vestige of
flickering truth is turning
into the solid molecules
                    of freedom's spark
right before
             your very eyes

In this morning glow
I bask
arch my back like
an Egyptian cat
stretch into the sun
casting off
the saltiness that has
almost drowned me
I step out of briny waters
and move towards the sweet
draw it up into cupped palms
and pour it all over me
Its coolness kisses
my skin
it runs
         down
               my body's curves
touching secret places
hitting private nerves
if the body is a temple
then mine has become
my shrine
and I treat it with reverence
for it houses
my piquant, flavored mind
It provides shelter
for the heart
almost bursting through
my chest
But I feel it calming down,
                                      now
after stormy weather wet
Now it is time
                 to submerge
into the clear flow of crystalline
to enjoy the pleasure
           of liquid love
in myriad hues of blue
                          and green
So here I come, fish
Make room below
let me through
the gentle whirlpool spin
I am diving into
the rapture
of the succulence
                  within

Take me to an exotic country somewhere
in a foreign land, where humid jungles create
misty vapors and sculptured dunes arise from sand
take me to that unknown continent
of untethered, love-soaked lust
weave within me slips of words
like prayers within cracks of an ancient wall
like garlands of fragrant, knotted trust
where the only language spoken is our eyes
locked in soldered magnet pools a world our own
where permanently autumnal air brings unlimited breaths,
our heat soothed by the coolness of stone
Wander with me inside caves and canyons
skip through flowered valleys of green
I will soothe the ache of your loneliness
in the twilight's sunset sheen
and in the rivers of me flowing
pure pleasure gushing rain
soaking up our glowing, as we purge all
poison's pain
            One subtle touch of heart
and I am floating way out into grounded space
I ask you, kindly, to slowly take me apart
in cinematic rhythms of timeless, zoneless pace
all the while the licks and drips
between the moans and sighs
as we travel landscapes of our skin
across maps of muscles, lips and thighs
Our mutual body knowledge comes in pieces that are whole
sweet chasing out of bitter as we ****** forth our souls
I  will pour my light into your dark
most blackened, wounded chasms
turning lava into stream
dark quakes in gentle spasms
So just take me there, over the edge
to that other country, distant world
as we undo facades in one quick impassioned rising
so unknown in this plane of routine and steady
I have my ticket to outdo our hunger
                     under stars
My luggage and passports are ready

So it seems
morning light
comes softly
after rain
floating over thorns
and spikes
of pain
chisled metals
come to be
softly brushed
bristles
of silken needles
sharpened thistles
and I can release
my balloon heart
a bit up
to skies
and let the cool
air kiss its
surface quiet
In the daylight
At least clouds
do not always
burst from
layered peaks
at least
tears
do not push
one over rough
and common edges
at least whispers
haunt in a space
more softly,
kindly
expanding back
the walls
of a vision once
limited