I walk into
the ruins
of the ancient temple
and feel the presence here
it is all around me
gently surrounding
in invisible caresses
it feels so strangely familiar
like the silent
understanding glance
of an old friend
or an unseen talisman
it is beating within me
pulse quickening
yet is unnamed
I let myself breathe it in
like an echo
of the spells of yore
wander through archways
of broken yet graceful doors
touch crumbled walls
let my fingers trace
the cracks in the stone
soon my words will fill them
as parched paper
is filled with legends
This is where
the ancients prayed
where people brought
their hearts
          in chanted verse
This is where people
placed hopes and dreams, made
requests to the universe
This is where faith
was expected
               to be so vitally forged
where offerings of fruit and grains
would fill up their hopes,
souls engorged
This is where eyes saw
timeworn brightness
of semi-precious stones
                  glyphs that held
significance, now under dust
like tiny bones
One can still see the
a venerable alter,
once held sacrosanct
under watchful, chiseled eyes
of the goddesses and their ranks
I sit upon the low stone bench,
           run my hands across mosaic,    
feel the force
I know that, despite its
acclaimed holiness
              this is not
love and light's main source
for that has all along
been inside me
pumping love within my veins
taking my spirit in journeys
to its own sweet, celestial planes
How we claim our
own private battles
   determine whether we lose or win  
As the sound
of my grounded heartbeats
rises up,
I am ignited
       from within

Rainbows of light
that's what I'm sending you
Each color
penetrates
each chakra
cleansing and strengthening
re-filling with light
and purity of spirit.
Each color magnifies its healing property:
Violet, lucidity of connectedness
the channel ever-clear
creativity always flowing.
You know yourself and always will.
Indigo, clarity of mind's eye
that third eye that you so allow to see
positive and true
Deep ocean blue
for communication in tongues
only for the benefit of the soul
for expression of the outpouring of spirit
releasing the burdens of your heart
as unexpected challenges arise.
Verdant green, like the jungles of your heart
Wild and untamed yet ever vast in gentleness
overflowing with love
balancing you into harmony's swing
serenity's caress soothing your soul
Sunlight yellow
right in your solar plexus
shining as a sun lights up from within
allowing you to trust
and re-trust your gut feelings
your inner wisdom alight.
Orange, pure glow of fire,
waiting to burst forth
from bud to flower
for femininity to unfurl,
both tender and fierce
as the lioness knows to be.
For joy to envelope every cell of you
every fraction of who you are and will be.
Finally, red , embers aglow
flames dancing
flames from which your strength
and vitality emerge
the source of your courage
in this battle.
And so, my fellow warrioress,
I send you rainbows.
To buoy you up
To thread you with light
to match, cell for cell,
the strength and healing
in colors.
I stand by you as we wave our flags
as we run through the
wilds in our battle cry
I am with you all the time, every hour
of the universe
silent like the huntress
stalking its prey,
tender as the mother
with babe to the breast
fierce enough to stave off the enemy
Standing at your side
Ready to catch you, if needed
Ready to help you generate rainbows of your own.
The power, my love,
is within your fingertips
within your smile
within each stunning
beat of your heart.
Rise up, and allow it
to weave through
the mosaic
of you,
a rich tapestry that spills unto the sacred plain
You,
my rainbow,
my light.

And I
am woman
of woman
of woman
Those who Love me
receive the prize
that soft, lush
succulence
between my
velvet thighs
Those who cherish me
receive the
finest cream
once it's on your tongue
you'll be spinning in
a dream
Those who unwrap
my heart
like a gift,
a libation
Will feel me
give my all
at the highest
vibration
Those who dig
With tenderness
to reveal
the secret root…
their reward will be vast
as my love
bears its fruit

My heart
     unpeels itself
in slow motion
    ribbons elegantly drift
  to the floor
once again  I am entrapped
           in a butterfly dance  
as I move towards connection
         entrapped in a cage
of my own building
           stewn all over
like carnival confetti
         utter joy at the beginning
a true celebration
        and then…the explosion
a fissured opening as
painful as a birth
I am all at once
A part of the cracked
                 and steaming earth
In the darkest corners of my mind,
I search rooms at a
mysterious party
as if in a dream
Who do I look for?
I pass each space
Couples on beds
   in their thrusts of passion
beckon me to join
Despite my burning up
I ignore
I know that I must reach
The open field
  sit in sweet solitude
place my hands upon the runes
of my heart
explore its mysteries
and then
only after I am sated
by my own passionate
embrace of mind
only then,
with fire in my eyes,
will I be able
to run freely
to you

If you are in love
And you must go out the door
I have some advice
That I have learned
From yore

Break your lady gently
for though she is made
from the strongest of glass
She can still shatter
Into shards
Upon the silken grass
And it will take ages
To find those thin, tiny slivers
To glue them together,
An almost impossible task
As your hands
Shake and shiver

Break your lady gently
But slice not too deep
For she is still yours,
Even if not to keep
She might rise up
Again
In your heart
And make it bloom
She will still
Calm your soul
And your every wound
And so, fair Lord,
Only if you
absolutely must
Break her down gently
But alas---
keep her trust

Swish
opens the fridge
*Crack
goes the shell
a gentle
bloop
of milk
A fork,
to stir it well
African beats
take over
and I could
sway my hips
then
sizzle
of butter
in the pan
a bubbling hissss
as it flips
Yellow and white
meld together
sliding over
the plate
and shake
of salt, then pepper
to taste
I can barely wait!
Here it sits,
on my dish ---
a perfect
circle of sun,
bright even
on cloudy days
and mmmm
delicious
on the tongue.

In the vortex
of my mind
      under layers
            of consciousness
something is opening
within me
like a reverse arc
            going deep
                into other landscapes    
                      kaleidoscopic spheres
                                              swirling                  
                            in new development
and I am holding onto
my living room chair
as a slow tornado
whirls around me,
new wisdom filling me up
in whisperings
unable to be heard
          to the naked human ear    
sacred utterings
beyond definition,
beyond the realms
                   of fear  
Seeds of knowledge
that burst through
old patterns,
a force that defies
All I have been
working towards
striving to rise    
pushing through debris
exploding, gently,
to the surface
   a coolness emerging
to soothe this burning
                          furnace
causing my secret
desert spaces
           to evolve
into green-covered
dense jungle waxed
exotic flowers
so tiny and so large
they look like caricatures
(but they're real)
and I had no idea
this was part of the deal
I stare in wonder
at the plants
and creatures
I have yet
to name
wildernesses
that preferably
must stay
         untamed

And into this clearing
       they venture
shyly, daring to emerge
from the dense,
intense forest,
all negativity
                      to purge
to eat from
           my fingers,
waiting for my
            primeval blessing
These sweet, feral creatures
I wish for each
and every one
to bestow upon me
their grace,
bless me in turn
as I stroke their face
they  almost seem
                   to glow
                    in their            
primordial powers
and let me
anoint their brows,
my hands grazing soft
and rougher patches
of fur, of reptilian skin
predator and prey
joining as one within
They come
to meet me today
to partake in my strength
They bestow me
with their
indigenous, glowing
           earthiness
written indelibly
inside their eyes
their innocent power
flowing, balanced
          between cloudy and clear skies
and as I gaze
directly into
the naked horizon,
            tornados ceased
I feel that something
             akin to…
                         peace
I am blessed in its
          rivulet, immersed in its stream
and I know I am
on my path to an
ever-sacred
           dream

Come play with me
         over the hills'
verdant delight
        where the sun often shines
and dark is bright
        Come take my hand
as we go under the bridge
           where the fairies glow
on the pine-scented ridge
        Let's run through the river  
and feel its flow
            as we swim naked
and the moon shines low
Run with me
         let the winds lick
                           us dry  
Let's raise our heads
                         in laughter
allow ourselves to cry
I am here for you
       through storms and hail
I won’t give up
on you
when your tempests
rage and wail
We are one in each other
              No way to reverse
even when running free
                             alone
Your script is in
                      my verse
So come, follow me
             into the wilderness              
Let's get lost there,
                   deep inside
Let's caress each other's wounds
dark secrets tell
                 with pride
You can take my tears upon
your tongue
     and I can press your palms
onto my heart
as we feel the pulse
of silent heat
that will scintillate
our
     dark

Take my face
between your palms
look into my eyes
and read me
let my mind imprint yours
emblazen you with  
naughty, loving thoughts
let the steam curl
up into your brain
get you high
Put your lips
on me
give me words
from your tongue
let me write on your skin
with mine
Embolden me
let the light from your
poet's eyes
inject and trip my mind

Then, knowing I am yours
feeling sure

Release me
Let me run
Let me shed inhibitions to the wind
Let them fly
As streamers of light
For I am blessed, today
I feel the power
of that untamed force
within

This might not be
what you want to hear.
But in your absence,
I flourish.
      I thought I would wither
like a languid lily
but instead, I have
perked myself up
       and glow,
without even
trying
like so many
    hydrangeas in the garden
Luscious, unfurling
Waxy in their freshness

So, my dear,
I will let you
flow out
      into your new sphere
as I
happily
flow into mine.
       Yes, a new adventure
that redefines

I have wanted you
for so **** long
and now ....

Well, just look!
Those light fractals
forming prisms of rainbows?
That is the health of me
and my soul
        My soul rising up above stars
finding me, again
So thank you..
This release is without anger, only love
        Will always love you
but letting you go
has been
        beautiful

..and we can only give
what we can give.
I opened myself
and handed it to you
in trust
peeled back the layers
of onionskin
as they fell
upon the ground.

My heart,
in shining pieces,
glows like diamonds
fresh from the earth
raw, rough
yet ever-true
pumping blood and lust
giving it so darkly
yet with infinite light.
My heart, yes, my heart
Only this
is what I have
to give to you.

How I wanted
          to catch
the pulses of light
to cup them in my hands
and hold them
like precious chalices
made of fine materials.
Yet they seem to have passed
so **** quickly
along the overhead beams
like a conveyor belt
in a love factory.
How I wanted
             to capture
their flames
like fireflies in a jar
so many points of luster
an inner glowing
up into the realms of faith
of wisdom
of kindness
of pleasure
How I wanted
          to light you up
and be lit from within
for our points of darkness
to meet and explode
as shooting stars
bound for the same orbit
expanding until they could
enfold it all.

Now
it is up to me.
I must calm
the heart and mind
caught up
in turbulence,
storms of inner fires
I must calm the winds
lest my deepest self
blow away
I must save myself
before morning
and let sleep caress
my inner wounds
let the bounds of
lovingness
forgive me
as I forgive myself
for loving.

My heart is on a platter
in this large expanse
of banquet hall
strewn, festooned
with banners
on the time-stained,
whitewashed walls

My heart is on a platter
****** beats so red
contrasting the
bright-white tablecloth
so elegantly spread

It sits and claims its place
as its pulses
fill up the room
and the cutlery shakes,
reverberates
from its understated swoon

Napkins folded so neatly
Best china laid out fine
it oozes through the arteries
in crystal glasses
meant for wine

One wonders, as one gazes
upon the forks and spoons
                              and knives
laid out in rows
so properly…
Just when will they arrive?
And when they do,
those honored guests
will they be shocked to see
this beating, pulsating mass
that pumps out feeling
in endless, reaching streams

Like a delicately-cooked
animal, exposed
             with flesh so raw
this ***** keeps on throbbing
whetting saliva in the jaw
No apple stuffed in mouth
no need for garnish
or temptation
the heat's already there
even in this subtle
                 transformation
It's so slight,
the change
             perhaps obvious
a bit bizarre
but despite themselves
my eyes are drawn,
in wonder,
            to the stars

My heart is on a platter
almost cut in slices
                   paper-thin
now all that's left to do
is check
          where one of us
ends and one begins
Just take a slice
place it on your tongue
and let it melt within
Let it enter softly
your bloodstream
let it boil, let it soothe
no one can be one's
everything
but the soul's
                frequencies
might groove

My heart was on a platter
in this banquet of desire
but, to everyone's amazement
it has turned
to flames of fire
it billows up to the ceiling
sizzles like a steak
     and even though
I am reeling
I hold my ground,
                 won't break


See, I don't care what
they think
those diners
with wagging tongues
and fetid minds
   I grab your hand and we run
to the coolness of the pines
Looking back, we see
heartsmoke rising up
into the sky
in the colors
        of the northern lights
blinking in beats
like an ancient, mystic eye


And as you place your hand
upon my chest
where this heart
was once submerged
I so do not give
        one flying ****
when dinner
will be served

And I release you
To the winds
From whence you came
I wish you
A good life
Free from pain
I hope and pray
That you will
remember our love
because it was real…
a beautiful gift
from the stars above
My love for you
Still aches
In my heart…
For you have so cruelly
torn us apart
Together
we planted
a beautiful seed
Born of love, of want
Of lust, of need
Now I look
to the heavens above
and pray for healing,
for you have twisted
the knife in my soul
and my heart
is bleeding

He: I am not feeling very talkative tonight.
She: Oh, shut up.

-a humourous collaboration with zebra :)

I wanted to dive
into this roaring river of crystal
but my own reflection
prevented me
Instead of
depth
I
got surface resistance
bruises, cuts for good measure,
until I called upon distance
to wrap me in its
ribbons of healing
and stop this
nonstop rush overflow
of feeling

I learned that
the only way through
was to calmly,
humbly
let it soften
as a freeze thaws
as time must heal
to wade through the rocks
stones under my heels
to let coolness fill me
to let the ice melt
to have it soothe
the burns the scratches
the welts
In order to
reach those depths
one must penetrate
see beyond glassy
armor
feel the actual beats
as the pulse gets warmer
and this heart beats strong,
red and true
flesh and pure blood
fiery and blue
I know that one day
this pain will pass
in this heart
made of crystal,
this heart
made of glass

She is one
           unused to
expressing sadness
            used to burying
her treasures
            to sewing up
the prize within her
"not acceptable"
the girlhood message
        Well it is time
to let it wash over
every pore
lest it turn into
         a quiet tsunami
time to
      allow it to rise
from deep dark
       corners of water
to give permission
to simply let
            it happen  
Here it comes:
rivulets of sadness
streams of pain
flow out like a river
to cleanse the mud and silt
opportunites created
      for healing currents
to flood the river banks
with sweet abundance
once again
Now precious stones
and wildflowers
are gently revealed;
It is time
to let all those dark
hidden jewels
be coaxed up
and kissed, one by
one by precious one
by the sun
like deep sea jellyfish
who are called
by the light
to adorn ocean's surface
and show off
  the vibrancy
of iridescent rainbow colors
years hidden away
yet always
actually
there

Do not be lured
by false gods and poets
for their words will
pull you in
You will be dizzied
and stunned
as they raise false hopes
as they caress you
beneath your very skin

You will feel on top of the world
until they let you fall
with  a harsh bang and a crash
You will have to get out your armies
And release weapons
from your private stash

Your heart has the potential
to be trampled
as their swirling fairy  words
march on
and the more you
let them
stay inside
the harder it is to move on

So take heed,
Those of sensitive soul
Do not let your emotions fool you
The ones who have tenderly
Spun you to gold
Will, with your own feelings,
try to rule you
Pull out while you can
And hope for better days
Try to find some light
In the dark
Now is the time
to work on yourselves
and ignite your own
passionate spark.

My heart
raises itself
to libation
Yes, in the night air
I offer myself
to the ones above
An offering of my being
to my soul
from my soul
a communication
so pure, so bright
that I cannot see
for the luminance
Instead, inner vision
guides me
through shaded density
     Once, I could not see through
this dark overgrowth
twisted vegetation thick
tight vines wove their way
up and around my ribcage
and took over my heart
suffocating the spirals
my breath ragged
Now the floodgates have opened
My inner garden beckons to me
      calling for tender care
I am open to the newness
of color of flora as yet undiscovered
exotic realms of fluidity
colors unnamed
for they do not yet exist
They wait for me to
              tap into their beauty
as I await the rainbow
after the storm
in splashes of vibrational joy
I sling my quiver into place
tie on the boots of resolution
No food is needed…the nourishment
shall seed from within
Twirling paths before me
will no longer draw me into
whirlpools of smothering
because I am ready to take it on
heated clamor, tornado chaos
monsoon frenzy

I enter the beige sands of time
the cracks and dry patches
slowly filling up with blessed waters
Filling me up with the beauty of
                             a new sparkling
As inner knowledge
thrusts up and out
ripping through old skin
creating new
revealing inner treasures
rough jewels
I  don my
soft armor,
calling upon the stars
Their trajectory illuminates my way
through the dark
for this is only the beginning
and I am ready
            to ride
               the light

They apply the
      herbal poultices
to my broken frame
surrounding me with light
to melt the pain
They put their cooling
   healers' hands
around my heart
wrap it in a
         temporary tourniquet
so its beats
don't fall apart
and despite this endless
sadness
    I'm alive
due to my breathing
        gasping madness
to survive
My will is shining
glowing
bursting through
   despite the burning
craving soulful
missing
   of only you
The fire in my ribcage...
it will burn
but my healers-
they are tenderly
taking turns
administrating care
and tending to
     my needs
using ancient
knowledge of how
to cure
and how to bleed
and while I lie here
gashes open, old wounds exposed
My healers feel my pain
and simply know
"It's okay, sweet woman warrior
it takes time for deep cuts
to close" they whisper
knowing I can hear
subconsciously this prose
Inside their medicine bag
with its mysterious potions
they make bandages
from silk
rub in soothing lotions
As hurt gets released
into the potent air
in my semi-conscious
state
I am thankfully aware
that this is a chance
to just allow myself
to feel
Let sadness
go through me
in rivulets
in streams
Cleanse my aching
loving heart
until it
gleams

So,
you were right.
The textures of pain
are varied
sometimes layered
beyond understanding.
And then
it hits.
a realization
that I do not wish for
and my blood
is on simmer
with all
I could give you
yours for the having
but
all you can see
is what
you cannot have

Sometimes,
in the Land of Dreams
I can see my own karma
a flicker
of flame
like those ashes that shoot up
from a summer bonfire.
Tiny lick of a second
Before it fades
I reach out to capture it
like a firefly in a jar,
But with a kiss of white heat
It is gone.

Sometimes
in another land
I am an archeologist
digging deep into the Earth
uncovering secrets
revealing artifacts.
Looking for the bones
of my past existence.
Searching for selves
I cannot remember
In order to  hold them
Up to the
Light.
Then after digging,
behold the curious sight:
Me, on the earth, on my knees
mouth open in amazement…
for instead of bones
I have found fire opals
slipping and sliding through my fingers
Cool and smooth
glowing in the night
their brilliant iridescence
lighting up my palms
like a dance of fireflies.

And then,
A most peculiar event;
A hot crimson glow
Emanates from inside, above
And below


Could it be?
Is this real?
I check once, then twice
Yes, my very bones
have turned into opals
Making me gleam from within
Sending out messages of light
Into the full dark
Of the deepening night
Trying to catch a signal
in the air
crackling along those roots
hardwired within .
Roots, like bones.
Growing deep into the earth
where precious stones reside
I am at a loss for words,
just feelings now
and have completely
forgotten my pride.

And  I stand there,
in contemplation,
all lit up from within
radiating light
unto every direction...
I think:
"This is the place to begin."

And all at once
in the blink of an eye
the opals pour from me
right out
And as those fine stones
slip from my bones
I know I have changed
both within
and without
the fire implanted inside
never to go out

My safe place
is not so safe
anymore.

Tinged with
wisps of passion,
second-hand smoke.
Forbidden memories
curl around
my heart.

The keyboard
looks up at me,
in pregnant
silence.

It knows.
It has the power
to unlock
earthly secrets.

It sits
like an archeologist
on a mission,
ready to unearth
old texts
private messages
never meant to be
seen by others

I stare at it.
My heart is there.
Those texts
and the white space
in between

I want my space back.
For it is mine, only mine
way before I let you
push in
My place
to dream
to dance
to let imagination
fly.
After all….
this is how
you arrived


So now, I summon
myself
And in one
simple act,
I take it back.
Just like that.

I release you
back into cyberspace,
from whence you came.
My lessons
have been learned.
I now say
No to pain.

Keyboard,
welcome back.
I crown you
Guardian of
my Safe Place.
My music,
my poetry.
Where imagination
runs wild,
My inner sanctum
of peace.
This has always been
and will always be
my landscape
of
release.

And my golden heart
is upon the floor
beaten in its beating
once again I am
in this place
of questionning
eyes searching for
ancient,
            encoded meanings
I look to the heavens
my eyes blinded by salt
by oceans of deep blue tears
a sea of emotion
that never ends,
yet I take the silvery
wings of my fears
I stand on the edge
of this new beginning
and throw them
off the cliff,
watch them dissolve
into misty threads
winds wrapping
my skin like a gift
I shift my vision
as I prepare to mend
the temporary sutures,
this intensely stinging rift
marks the majestic destiny of
             my pending future
Now the reigns
of life
are in my own two hands
as I move forward
in my quest
conjuring courage
within my warrior's soul
despite the pain
burning through my chest
For this is the time
this is the hour
for dream-fulfillment
and true loving self-worth
and I know
I am the only healer
of who I am
on this journey
        at the cusp of
                           rebirth

Small Issues

When she unlocks her heart
It all comes out
Pouring in a stream
Without seeming end
Everflowing, not always like a river
But rapids
Frothing and bubbling
Heart flushing out poison
Like after a hard night of drinking
When a friend holds hair back
And all the ugliest, nastiest parts  roar  out
Pushed , upchucked
Without control.

Outflow of bitter
Salt of tears
Tears, unsewn, sometimes ripping bigger
Sometimes just bearing it
The worse for wear.
The fabric of her soul
Is often many-layered
And multi-hued.
Rough-spun jute
Next to softest silk.
But today, as heart is opened,
The key misplaced,  
She cannot hold back.
Dizziness and nausea take over.
Silk is torn and waves like a flag.

She raises hands, in supplication
Before holding onto the nearest
Steadying object, be it chair or rail.
Hope arises
for sweet beneath bitter
for clean, warm blood
pumping with life, and flowing  purely
for feeling clean after all the poison is out.
She knows it is there, deep down under
muscle and tissue
She knows
light-filled energy is
somewhere shining
in a low rock pool
right around her solar plexus.

"How we only need,"
she thinks.
"To work out
a few small issues."
Relief
And exhaustion
Take over
As she reaches
for tissues
to wipe away pain
and lie down to rest.
There is some down time
before the next test.

Feb. 2014

Sometimes loneliness wraps me like a cloak
drapes me and protects me
yet blocks the light from coming in
and I wish so much to untie it
release it to the wind
let it fall from my body
but it sticks
And I cry
Oh I cry
My tears upon its fabric
staining its silken black
but
this black is lined with the red of fire
and this red is my inner flame
a flame that never goes out
whether in spirals of joy
        or the jagged sharp lines of pain
and I know that no matter how much
it hurts me
to feel so deeply
this burning lust for life
will never wane

how less can be more
like the tiniest of lime-green shoots
about to unfurl their fancy to perpetual skies
more in the less, minimal beats , no stress
music I move to when I need a rise
a sudden arrival of pocket-sized birds, spinning my heart into a soar
this is how I know, how I know so well,  that less is actually more

This morning,
upon waking
A different feeling was in the air
Something
was a-glow…but what?
A quick glance upon
The mirror
as I gazed upon my skin
It was shimmering with
Electricity
currents running,
thick and thin
up and down my body,
highlighting my passion
my most sensitive spots,
reverberating
turning delicate frequencies
into high voltage…

And every time
My thoughts slithered about
most alive,
like the bejeweled serpent
in a garden of lust,
of love
luscious
as orchards
of velvety fruit.
Thoughts
of your face
your touch
your skin upon mine….
A rush of sparks
igniting my spine.

I watched, as
all became alight,
My body a map
of countries,
gleaming into the night
of many tongues spoken,
of colors bursting in air,
of a melancholy broken
of the arc of a flare

I have become
a festival of lights.
The aurora borealis
drifting over me
like the rolling waves
of the most sensuous
explosion
ever

I do not want
your blazing orange sunset
or the jewels of false words
to wear as a noose
around my neck
These are not treasures
Instead give me
your darkness
Open the door of pain's palm
and let me enter
For I come bearing gifts,
not tricks
press poultices that sting
then soothe
Words of gentle spikes
that slowly release and remove
those tensions,
that years of bitter
have imprinted upon the rock
of your heart
Your heart, so alive
beats steady under stone
and I pour
hot potions
that melt to the bone
This magick will cure
all of the built-up crust
of falsity's allure
and what we thought was redemption….
For all along we were loved
and just did not know it
After you are empty
and spent, sprawled upon the ground
the remnants of your pain
poured out upon the floor
like gasoline waiting to be lit
only then will I be able
to caress you tenderly
help you replenish and rebuild
place a ripe, moist date
stuffed with almond
into your kiss
and you will be able to
taste it
to the fullest volume
and appreciate
its
sweetness

My thoughts
        flow up into the trees
like paper lanterns
released by eager
and giving hands
They fill up the night
with their rectangles  
of light                    
They create blazes
that are sometimes
               soft and
sometimes ever-strong
and I ponder
upon where they will reach
         ponder who the dreamers are
that release them
so willingly
Dreamers such as I
who relish the act of thinking
Yes, we navigate
through the dream-realms
steer the hidden rudder
of our destinies
We flow
as we glow
and turn the
captain's wheel
toward destinations unknown

Now I release my lantern
let it reach out unto the stars
until it glides
and slides into the night
into universes
of other worlds
alternate realities      
where I sometimes
visit
sometimes dreaming
my silken wishes
into reality

Finally!
This witch can
leave the cauldron…
for she is
no longer
under your spell..
it doesn’t even matter
whether you,
a warlock of words,
somehow know
or can tell
She is free
of darkened spells casted
that get blood flowing
Free from runes
and poetic vibes
sent unknowing
Free
of the clutter
of secrecy
and magic potions
Free
To fly in widened,
expansive motions
As if on some sacred
timeless dance floor
Arms arisen
she swings her hips
as sensual verse
flows from her lips

Her emotions are wild, now
With liberation given
A loving gift
she has given herself
So raise the glass
For she has found herself again
Time for celebration…
So let's commence
the festival
of true
emancipation

She couldn't explain, how---
after the vast crawl
through the
Arctic tunnel -
at one point too dark
to even
cry mercy--
how, suddenly,
moonbeams emanate
upon the ceiling of ice

"Drop the ropes!"
she calls back
and the ice pick echo stops
Her team's eyes lifted above
candles snuffed
flashlights out
for along the glistening rock
a colorburst of illumination
ancient dancing patterns
flickering archipelagos
and she cannot understand
why all eyes
are suddenly on her…
just pregnant silence
without explanation

She only knows
That there is
a coolness
in her solar plexus
where heat once burned
when a private sort of hell
used to flicker and churn

Tendrils of light
reach out
"It's ..me" she says, astounded
For she had just been pulled
from the jet-darked skies…
as the dusk
gets  electricified..

and now
she floats
like a dance floor goddess
lost in
rhythmic paradise
whose switch for joy
has been flicked
to ON

Here
in the solitude
of my darkness
emotion causes
temporary blindness
I dive deep into the layers
of blanketed black
covering myself
for comfort
the stars sparkle to me
in their own language
yet I cannot hear them
for the rush in my ears
my heart
stirs beneath my chest
as my sword stays in scabbard
fires in the brush
leave their embers
I take some cinders and
slash them over
my cheeks
to match this inner night
with purity
try to still the
murky waters
of my being
and then
in one outpour of dark vessel
I am flooded
the scent of blood
in the air
the taste of tears
upon my tongue
and..Hush!
the night is gone but for
the candle's
second-long
flicker

If only you could feel
the tiny tremors
beneath my skin
   How they reverberate
become earthquakes
along the lines of my veins
the map drawn to my heart
     and all is shaking
along my spine
miniscule shivers
that send signals
up and out
      over desert mountains
into night air
over forest and verdant shadows
into the vast regions
of light and deep darkness
      into the realms of your mind  
swirling about
through your bloodstream
muscles pumping the message
via tenuous threads
nerves and tissue protecting
the delicate circling of
what I hold dear:
       nestled precious
your heart
Yes your heart
so very far
yet inside me,
      so near

I spread my hands
and look at each finger.
Over each curve and crevice
my eyes linger.
Chapped skin, rough-hewn
but also smoothness,
untapped youth
I reach out
my white-silver nails
catching light's gleam
rings sparkling.

I wonder
what lies beyond
the knowledge of my skin
So many storms have taken
over lately
These hands
that have risen up
in prayer and supplication
to the heavens above
These hands
that have wished
to cup a certain face
in love

These hands that cook and clean
and tidy up
that have poured countless teas
into countless cups
Hands that offer hugs
smooth back hair
that put on plasters
and mend a tear
And what, I ask, will be?
Where am I?
Who takes care of me?

For these hands
connect to arms
that wish to hug and be hugged
These arms on a body
that so needs to be loved
This body a temple
to my mind and heart
that need tender care,
that need a new start

I gaze outside
The moon is ripe and round
It glows in the shadows
as the stars peek out
There is crispness in the air
Hope in the winds
I put on my gloves
to protect
tender skin

Apparently
the lines are down
and communication is ******
No way to get through
and I find myself here
sitting so deeply stuck
I only wish
To somehow create
a telephone line
straight to your heart
to tune it up
and tune it in
to fix it
make it
spew sparks
I want to ensure
that the lines will work
No matter how, no matter when
In all weather conditions
Or natural disasters
Floods or tornados
Wild winds that whip
Will not stop us
I want us to have
easy access
to those thoughts and words
that seem to fly
with witchlike magic
into our brains
into our minds
and directly into my lines
making me so high
What shame to be cut off
when the router has already found you
Your satellite
is floating around the planet
of my heart
and I am sending signals...
even if they are made from smoke
I care not
As long as they reach you
in the right place
at the right time
As long as you know
that somehow---
You're divinely
mine

Life is so precious
every moment
     wisps off into the dusk
as sunlight appears fleetingly
onto our upturned faces
and shifts into
          the paradigm of rain
how we struggle every day
to maintain this perishable dance
hold our heads
     above the rising current
fighting to stay aloft
battling for our survival
at times expectations tossed
         our broken sanity weaving its way
into our consciousness
we forget that even in
our daily commitments
there is magic
we forget to let it resonate
What if we decide
To throw our fears aside
What if we take a
steel-edged chance
gathering courage and running
to that rough-hewn cliff
what if we wish to climb
          the ladders as they spiral up
what if our ripening
is right now
as we search our souls
               to the root
and we must simply pull
back the cutting stone of illusion
to lovingly reveal
that luscious
vibe
of earth
            and fruit?

Slowly
I will unveil you
Like the peelings
an onion,
bittersweet juices
flowing with each
layer

I will,
as if a handmaiden,
Be there
To remove
the armor
of your battles
Ceremony-like,
In gentleness,
without hurting you
and lead you to the bath.

I will coax you out
Like a delicate stamen
From the petals
That surround your
Aching heart.

If you retreat
I will give you some space
For I know that
You will come to me
Like a fragile night creature
Afraid of the sun
I will persuade you
To check the air
To realize that your secrets
Are safe with me

I will encourage
You to come forth
And take you
Into my arms
No matter what
secrets you hold
Whether dark,
twisted  or lost
I can take it
For my heart is warm
And I am wise beyond my years
Come now, hush
Let me help you
Release your fears

I walked around you
seven times
under that canopy
and you smashed that glass
our hearts flew
         and all around us
Cheers
Then moving down the line
with these mixed up mashed up
years
Three growing precious seedlings
in our shared garden
         fertile soil, tender new leaves
blessings of fruit and flowers
                     cornucopias of sheaves
As we battled side by side
when hard times
           demanded nourishing:
Little bud born before her time
                 now a blossom flourishing
Little man struggling with his anger
                        calmer in his essence
Angel child's illness
and recovery:
a blessed efflorescence
Yes this woman is thankful
appreciative beyond words
and simultaneously so weary
                         of always struggling to be heard
yes, deep inside
long years remaining
              invisible
less and less warmth
of emotional and physical
and now, somehow
        your motivation has been tossed
  the way to each others' spirits
in raging heartwaves- lost
If this sacred bond
was written in fire
Baby, you have left me to burn
The only way to save myself
is to search for all I yearn
I made myself into what I thought
you wanted
Pushed my soul into a tiny box
now it simply won't stay in
and I bust open all the locks

I put out the fires
       of the stars in my eyes
to try and fit your flow
in the process
lost myself in the abyss
ignoring my inner glow
    
Well
my darling it is time
to be released from darkness
if you will not
take my hand
if you will not
run with me
if you will not
accept my hands of help
if you will not
be willing
at all
I will walk seven times  around the fire
I will smash the glass of my heart
I will pick up those pieces
and hold them up to the stars
I will be rebuilt,
taking back the constellations

I will throw them back
into the vastness
of creation
I will honor our process
before I gently, firmly,
take apart
the sweet universe
we have constructed
finishing the start
we will protect our flowers
And you will wonder
as you turn
into earthen fossil stone

Why on earth,
why in heaven's name
are you suddenly
alone

And I,
a goddess of the moon
do wax and wane
in my orbit
radiating light
as it fills up
every pore..
Every beat
of my heart
a testament
to the battles
and victories
of my fight
And to you, my loves
I will always
give my all
every
    single
      precious
        moment
of every day
and night

You sometimes really
wear me out
run my emotions through
                                prewash
like laundry in the machine
spinning me around
and I know only I can stop it
but I do not want to
because of the fact
that the souls of your eyes
recognize in me what longs
to be touched
and you touch it
so much more than you think
so even if the going gets rough
even if the whites and darks
get mixed
and there is static fluff
and it clogs up the kitchen sink
I am not leaving, yet
I am holding my ground
and I hope you stay with me
coz I need you around
to see through
that laundry until it's done
even if it gets very, very *****
and the load needs to shoot
oh, we'll deal with that
because we are connected
we're on the same route
so put me through rinse
it doesn't faze me
as long as your love,
like magic soap
continues to clean and raise me
I want you in my life
as long as I know
that at the end of the cycle
we'll continue
to grow

No one can see me
who I am
not really
but somehow
from so far away
you have
beyond just seen
you have looked into
those deep and mysterious places
with recognition

And I am but naked
under your gaze
I have been brought
to that slow
timeless place
where clocks stop
and the silken gauze of you
wisps around me
does its delicate inner weaving
healing my cuts, my burns
and staunching
the tears and
glass-cut
bleeding

My heart pounds
because I know
the truth
I know that
The best has come now
When has gone
The first fruited blush
Of youth
  
I know this
And I am constantly wrapped
In the tendrils of a decision
To be made
For my choice
Must be made with utmost care
And love

And I am both honored
and blessed
to fulfill
this higher quest
and waiting for the day
to take my heart out
from my chest
and follow it
to the heavens
where true fulfillment
does reside

and take you
in my arms
with honor
and silent pride

Saturday morning
we cuddle in bed
My sweet little owl,
her darling head
on the pillow next to me
as she chirps away,
welcoming morning
before it turns into day.
She tells me her stories,
of her dreams in the night
This is her time, also
to ask questions about life.
How does the body work?
How is metal made?
Where do stars come from?
And then, without further delay...
We spring from the covers,
in giggly delight
For now, we make pancakes!
Her sweet help ensures
that they always taste right
We giggle like monkeys,
partners in crime
Yes, Saturday morning
is our precious time

It just goes on and on
doesn’t stop
and won’t
even if you try to turn me
into a glacier
even if my next stop
is one ice floe over
only the seals and whales
for company
I am going to love you
into the thaw
melt the ice
around your heart
Again and again and again
until the water will flow
and buoy me up
put me in the
path of your ocean
and we shall be carried
in the currents
until they merge

And so,
we're going to
take the world by storm
set fire in the realm
Each one of us
in his own corner
Yes!
We shall
leave a trail
of white hot flame
burning up
smoldering
right in the face of pain
Here comes the blast!
Of a kind of stardust
tiny particles
celebrating victory
They burst forth
through the
interstellar air
radiant, incandescent
sometimes quite
contradictory

Enough hiding
within a tiny room
without a view, I say
Open up the portholes
Let in the cold night air
It wakes up my senses
as I send up
and out
a brand new round
of auroral flares

The space traveler
is done
with the dark side
of the moon
Just watch
as she unfurls
and cosmic flowers
start to bloom

After this mortal storm
wanes
and ceases
I venture outside
     to pick up the pieces
The stars have been
wind-whipped
stirred into a frenzy
like a merry-go round
in a blender,
         shaken intensely
Yes, those stars up way beyond
whirled about
they cast their spell
they made me shout
Like a ship on high tide
I was thrown for a loop
tossed against
backwinds
and wrenched up
from the root
With an archer's practiced,
                     steady mark
You aimed and fired
piercing my dark
So now, after that fiery arrow
             hit true
I must pick up the pieces
From the heart that blew

I have had this aching
for a long time
            bubbling
just beneath my skin
causing me pain and longing
of the most piquant kind
tears would flow as the sting
somehow always
caught up from behind
             Now in this house
           of boulders and fire            
come to the fore
unspoken desires
I am left to stand in
front of the blaze
my hands left empty
eyes searching, a-glaze
It is overwhelming
to be almost consumed to the core
and yes, I am on the brink
of
       spontaneous
                   combustion
but before I go over the edge
there is something
I would like to say
to you
You.
who have started  
flowing through
my veins
in gentle intoxication
soothing an ancient phenomenon
that cuts through layers
of rock and stone
turning over fossils
and revealing bare bone
If in the earth's center
is made of fire
then you are coolness
Your hands
have placed balm
on the burn
and if there is a danger
that invisibility  will all-consume
then your eyes have
seen me
and my open wound
despite distance
and anti-physical resistance
some unknown force
is in bloom

By the time you catch
up with me
I will be just spinning
out of your orbit
as joyous as a comet
fire on my tail
I am whirling
into my own cosmic vortex
approaching other stations
New galaxies
await me
with open arms
Even if all are not
immediately friendly
I have laser detectors
with bits of solar and lunar
wisdom
information I have tenderly gathered
while on my stay
in this sphere
Now celestial pulses
surround my aura
create a whirling halo
of all that is divine
My heart flies
on a this heavenly journey
upwards to the stars
You cannot stop me
from being the woman
I have become
The Woman I will be
who I am destined
to rise into
Now this space traveler
is finding her new orbit
No barriers for me
for I am floating, ever surely
drifting in my own private
navigation
closely directed
yet free

My Heart,
a pulsing red mass of veins
and arteries
surrounded by golden auras of emotion…
yes that…
It is peeled back
to the core
and once, again,
I lift myself off the floor
broken by my own doing
wanting the potential of more
I am so ready to be taken
my flesh incarcerated into yours
I am so ready for love
to cherish and be adored
Right now I feel sore and bruised
my marriage bed
empty in its occupation
I am raw
with longing
torn up in frustration
Beats of love pulse through me
wanting to be expressed
longing for release
for give and take
at its best
I want those rhythms
to freshly enter my soul
and, though maddened by my
                               own derelict passion
know freedom is my goal

One day, I whisper to myself, rocking
the crimson ***** tenderly,
One day this will come
This ever full love I deserve
In the meantime
I rise, and fall, and rise again
My heart's ancient descent
into self-knowledge
and care
so expertly preserved