You used to be my best friend
I could never get enough
I used to want more from you
I loved you so much

I wanted to belong to you
I wanted you to belong to me
But ever since we tried that
I can't even think clearly

My life is such a mess
I've never felt more alone
You make me feel so sad
And like I have no one

The pain seeps from my pores
The tears escape from my eyes
In the night, I have nightmares
In which our love always dies

This does more harm than good
I don't know what to do
I really don't want to lose you
But my heart is literally torn in two

You are not my lover
You are no longer my best friend
I don't want to believe it
But this is most likely the end

I've never felt such anguish
I've never sensed so much discomfort
I will never win this war
Despite all of my efforts

I don't want to say goodbye
But it is inevitable now
I want to be free from this toxicity
I've given all my heart will allow

I don't even know you
I've talked to you once
A tiny exchange of words
But I swear
You captivate me
With how you look
In my mind
I picture you being mine
The things I'd do to you
I thought I'd never do
There are other beauties in this world
You are not the only girl
But you're the only one
My eyes choose to see
You're the only one
Who has this great affect on me
I don't know your heart
I don't know your mind
But I do know your body
And I'm in love with it

The sin eats you alive
Just as it should
The company of the devil
The presence of evil
Surrounds your every move
Invades your every breath
It is what defines you
You are consumed
With the overbearing thoughts
Of the ones you've wronged
And how you will eventually
Have to face justice
And pay the price
Either now
Or in the afterlife
Or both

It's funny the way life changes
And how
Once before, all my thoughts were consumed by you
But now
You never even cross my mind

I cannot help but think
That everybody is lying to me
I never used to have that problem
In the past, I used to have faith
In those I surrounded myself with
But lately, that isn't the case
I question everything people tell me
I question their feelings and their thoughts
I hardly ever believe the things they say
Especially the things about me
I don't believe I'm loved or wanted
I don't believe I'm interesting or worthy
Despite being told that I'm all of the above
I suppose in past relationships and mishaps
I've come to develop trust issues
Being lied to so many times by people I once held so dear
And invested the most faith and confidence in
Being betrayed by those people
When I never thought it was possible
Has ruined my chances of finding true happiness
When will I heal?
When will I restore faith in humanity?
I have a feeling personal changes need to be made
So I guess that starts today

You can't escape this
There's no avoiding the truth
Maybe not today
And probably not tomorrow
But you'll be exposed in time
And it'll haunt you for the rest of your life

I should leave everybody alone
I should lower my expectations
I should have none
That way when nothing is as it seems
And when I feel I'm being ignored
It won't matter to me
Not anymore
Because I won't care
Just like they all don't
Then life won't seem as unfair
If I just leave everybody alone

Dear you,
You're the person who has never let me down
You've always been there when I needed someone
You lent me your ear
You gave me advice
You wiped away my tears
Held me through all my cries
You've spent your time on me
You've spent your money
And how I repay you
Is by not doing so at all
Instead I betray you
And I put our trust on the line
Now it is gone
And the fault is all mine
You deserve so much better
Than what I have to offer
I'm in a horrible place
And while that is no excuse
For what I have done
You still deserve someone to be there
And reciprocate what you do
You're the one person I love the most
And the one person I hurt tragically
By losing you, I lose myself
But I deserve this
You belong with someone else
I'll always love you
And be plagued with pain and guilt
You'll always be important to me
But now I think I should set you free
Because I hurt you so tremendously
It may be selfish
But I can't live with myself
I love you
I already miss you
One day your true love
Your beautiful princess
Will be there for you
I'm sorry
But it isn't me

There's only one way
That this will end
And I doubt it'll be
In favor of me
God only knows
Why I keep fighting
But I'd rather do that
Than nothing at all

Had to change my name
If only I could do so in real life

I love her so much
She loves me too
Our intense love brings so much good
Laughter and joy
Company and intimacy
But at the same time
We worry so much about each other
It results in sadness filling up our hearts
Upset with the fact that the other may be having a bad day
Or a bad night
Upset with the fact that there are thousands of miles separating us
Across the ocean
In a different country
How I wish to hold her on those bad days
And kiss her to sleep on those hard nights
How I wish to be there in person to comfort her
So she not only has my words but my embrace
I need her to smile every day
To know I'm doing my job right
Because her happiness is my everything
She makes my world spin
Without her, I don't have much
These few bad days and bad nights
Are well worth it
She is my never ending bliss

I wish to restore your innocence
And make you realize the value
Of your loving heart
Your beautiful mind
Your deep soul
And your breathtaking body
I want to get you to love
All the parts of yourself that you despise
There's a story in your eyes
One I read more into every day that we grow closer
Since you walked into my life
The sun shines a little brighter
The smell of the new spring air
Soothes me when I miss you
You're what I want to care for and love
I want to adore your body
And spoil you with chocolates and flowers
Take away your worries and your strife
Make you know that you're worth this life
You've had it so rough
I want to correct that
I'm so honored you've let me in
And opened yourself up to me
You're a light that I never want to burn out
You're the hope that has restored within me
You make my days worth the living
I want to do the same for you

I broke up with him
A couple years ago
We were best friends
Each other's first love
But we grew apart
Like most first loves do
We remained friends
Though I didn't think
He was quite over me
I wanted him to move on
He was so deserving of a woman
Intelligent, generous, sensitive
He really is the perfect package
Now it seems as though
We aren't as close as we used to be
We say we're each other's good friend
But sometimes it doesn't feel that way
The details are no longer known
Just small conversations
And short hang out sessions
Here and there
From time to time
I feel like I'm losing my best friend
A constant in my life
I fear losing him completely
He was my first everything
He taught me so much
I miss the simpler days
When he used to be mine
I think nowadays he's onto someone new
And I'm happy for him
He deserves it all
And she's a lucky girl
I'll always cherish him
And miss the blissful innocence
Of first love and confidence

The truth sets people free
I'm so happy to be liberated from all of the lies
That make up the very essence of who you are
A lie
I'm so happy that I get to help others realize
What you have done to them all this time
You lied
I'm so happy knowing that eventually
The truth will reach everybody
And you will have no where else to hide
And no one else to turn to
You see, that's what happens when you spin a web of lies
As big as you have
Every relationship you've formed
Is based off of a lie
All the love you may think you have
Will die when everyone finds out
That you are a no good
Time stealing
Using
Lying
Piece of garbage

How lucky am I to live in a reality
One where my best friendship
Grew into a fantasy relationship
One where laughs and shooting the ****
Grew into something more
Something passionate
Deep and special
Conversations about the future
Talks about our love
Living in harmony
A beautiful duet
I follow you wherever you lead
Our hearts belong together
You're my sun
You're my sky
You're the flowers
You're the memories
The images in my head
You're the beauty
In everything I see
Thank you for being with me

To think that you would keep telling such an enormous lie just goes to show how desperate you are for attention and how much of a low life you truly are. Lying to hundreds of people about your identity, getting people to believe things that aren't true, and do things they wouldn't normally do, and to keep doing it blind to the consequences, just proves how stupid, inconsiderate, and pathetic you are. The truth is out. It will continue to penetrate the eyes and ears of everyone around you and you will be left with nothing but your bitter and empty heart and your computer screen that you love to lie behind. Have fun living with the guilt of what you've done for not months but years.

If I could be around you
Just for one day
If I could spend a whole 24 hours
With everything going my way
I'd spend it touching you
I'd spend it loving you
I'd spend it kissing you
I'd spend it talking to you
I'd spend it getting to know every thought in your head
I'd spend it getting to know every beautiful curve that makes up your body
I'd spend it showing you how much I adore you
Even though I don't even know you
I know your face
It puts me in a daze
The tiny details I have of you
Are the little treasure pieces I hold dear and near to my heart
I'm dreaming of the day we get to meet
I'm pondering about the 24 hours I will spend making endless love to you
That's what I would do
If I had a whole day

When you're not here
I have trouble falling asleep
But when you're next to me
That problem disappears
My eyes close with ease
You are my dream
I dream of you
My everything

You and I
The way we love each other
Is like we've never loved before
Giddy with loving feelings
Smiling with every glance
When we laugh
When we talk
When we kiss
When we hold each other
Everything feels right
Calmness overcomes me
I'm right where I'm supposed to be
You're the man of my dreams
Rescuing me from darkness
Saving me from myself
You're my breath of fresh air
Allowing me to breathe again
You make my world go round
When I'm with you, I'm in heaven

You're so beautiful
It hurts

I'm so curious about you
I know you're someone else
I finally see the truth
And even though you hurt me
I'm dying to speak to you
I want to know your name
And what you're really like
What color is your hair
And the shade of your eyes
Where is it that you live
What is it that you do
Could you love the real me
Could I love the real you
The charade is finally over
For the both of us
Hopefully you'll admit it
And who really knows
If we'll talk again
But if you wish to speak to me
Honestly and as yourself
Reach out and try
I surely won't bite
We're only human
We're bound to make mistakes
I'll forgive you and you can forgive me
We can move on and really see
How we get along in reality
Without the facades

Time to live life
With both feet on the ground

It's funny how you say you don't need me
You don't want me
You don't love me
Yet all you do is try and stalk me
And see what I am saying
And what I am up to
Haha
I'll just laugh at you
And your typical lies

Your broad shoulders
Strong cheek bones
Luscious lips
Soft hair
And deep eyes
Make me fall in love with you
More and more
With each look
Never leave my side

You singlehandedly changed my life
But not in a good way
You dragged me through
A battlefield of emotions
You made me apologize
When I did no wrong
You made me feel even weaker
When I wasn't feeling so strong
You treated me the opposite way
Of how I treated you
I put you so high on my list of priorities
Ashamed to say you took the number one spot
And now you've left me
Acting as though I don't exist
Or that my existence is unimportant
This happened so many times
But I refused to see the signs
And gave you the benefit of the doubt
But you were always manipulating me
Into thinking everything was my fault
Or that I'm the undeserving one
But truthfully speaking
You're the liar and the one
Who took full advantage of my willingness to love and heal you
I tried to surrender multiple times
And walk away
You wouldn't let me
Always kept me wondering and second guessing
Forcing me to believe you cared about me
But worst of all
Getting me to believe that when you said
"I love you"
You were actually being true
But you weren't
And for that
You are the predator
I am the prey
And it will always be that way

There's an image that keeps replaying
Over and over again in my head
That one time we were on the couch
But made our way to the bed

It started off with small kisses
But then it grew in passion
Our lips frantic with want
Kissing in a crazy fashion

Like a fiend for your love
I can't get enough
Addicted to the balance
Between the sweet and the rough

I replay that image
On a loop in my mind
But actually it's reality
Because we do that all the time

Sometimes I write about you
But don't think too highly of yourself
You're just a book that's gathered dust
On the very highest shelf
Nothing is paid attention to
All the way at the top
It's neglected and ignored
Not important, I almost forgot
The space you take up
In the back of my mind
Is deteriorating by the second
You'll disappear with time
Sometimes I write about you
But it doesn't mean jack
I didn't lose you
You were something I never had
And you never had me either