I wish you nothing..

but someone who will love you the way you deserve to, but someone who knows your worth, but someone who does not only make you feel like home but is also at home with you

and I don't necessarily mean another person

*that someone could be yourself

How do you say goodbye
to someone you don't want to leave?

"Something changed"

"Yep, me."

"Better or worse?"

"I don't know yet."

I will keep on writing
until I run out of words
until I run out of thoughts
I will keep on writing
until I can no longer
write your name
I will keep on writing
until I can forget
like how you did
or like what you're doing

I will keep on writing
until I can no longer feel
whatever it is you made me feel
I will keep on writing
until I can no longer read
the words you have written
that I've assumed
are for me

I will keep on writing
I will write you away
I will write the pain away

I will keep on writing
until my heart accepts
until these what ifs stop
until these maybes disappear

I will keep on writing
until I can no longer write
about you
about us
about how much
about how late
about how
about what
about when
about why

I will keep on writing
until I can finally put the period
that would end everything

I will keep on writing
until I stop
and when I do stop
you'll know
that even though it was so hard for me
I no longer, nor will ever
write again for you

So here it is
*.

"I wish you to be happy..
even if it means me being sad"

I think I will always remember
how your hands fit in mine
how your hugs forced my broken pieces to fit
how your words, our words, seemed to rhyme
how your kisses blew the pain away

I think I will always remember
how happy we made each other feel

I think I will always remember
how we chose to be right

I think what will always stay with me
is how easily you have let go

Does it ever cross your mind? The thought of losing me, I mean. Does it sting like fire ants? Painful but not serious.

I don't know when or how the butterflies in my stomach turned to wasps, stinging the muscles, making it sore and burn but I swear at one point, we were the most beautiful human chromosomes paired....

or was it always an option? Leaving me, I mean.