i love you so much i'm going to make you hate me.

if you hate me, you'll find someone who makes you happy.

i don't want you to hate me, but
i want you to be happy.

i tear at my skin, rip the flesh off the bone
layers and layers peel away
i reveal my core, it's broken and confusing
black bones and stars and weeds stuck between
everything looks thrown together
nothing belongs here

my lips burn and sting; for i only long to kiss you

i'm in love with the dying.

every time i go back to that place
i remember calling you
and telling you how excited i was
but also how scared i was

you told me it was okay

i remember my friends talking to you
and they were laughing
and i had a huge smile on my face

you wanted to hang up

i told you that i had to go
and i reminded you i loved you
i held the phone to my ear

i don't remember you saying you loved me back

you stay muted and i do the talking
it's a different feeling for me
but i enjoy it because you turn on your camera
i love watching you smile when i'm talking
you remind me what it feels like to have a
stranger love me, and just me.

i'm watching you sleep right now
and i'm wondering if he ever thought
the same things i'm thinking
when i fell asleep on him
did you stay because you cared?