is this what growing up is like?
losing a piece of myself,
over and over?
because if so,
i don’t want to anymore.

To be loved is to be seen
And I never realized just how invisible I felt
Until you came along
And saw me in full color

i wish i could feel it
the ache of not being enough
the way it once cracked me open

but now
there’s only silence
an emptiness where sorrow should live

nothing breaking

nothing healing

just

n u m b n e s s

still

today i realized
how easily i can be manipulated
and still
i let it happen

out of anger,
out of rage
split the skin
in my thigh
the cut will represent the pain
that i can't bear to keep inside.