I’m so insignificant
and i’m not new to this feeling

it doesn’t hurt anymore
i’ve grown
used to
fond
and understanding

of feeling like i am nothing

I never really knew
Just how much I needed you

You were my strength when I was unsure
You were my anchor, you taught me how to endure

You where my logic when I was confused
You gave me direction, you were my muse

Now you are gone and there are times I feel so alone
Nothing is the same, even this house doesn’t feel like home

I tell myself that you are still here with me
That if I close my eyes then I will see

That you are in my heart and you are in my soul
You will always be apart of me that I never have to let go

I love and miss you more than words can say
And the memory of you helps me make it through each day

I love you Mom!


© COPYRIGHT L. A, Anglin 2013

I asked you to define romance.
I can't remember word-for-word what you'd said
I can however, freeze and replay the moment you replied.
Your feet were buried in the Earth
Fingers sifting sand
You washed your hands in the water
Sealed the space between us and held my hand.
We shared a perfect silence that could inspire God.
You then asked me to define romance
I can't remember word-for-word what I'd said, either.
I can however, tell you what I'd say now.
Romance is how I felt holding your hand.
We could take over the world without saying a word.

Stuck in a rut twenty three feet deep
One for every year I've failed on cue
Dirt falling in at a steady pace
Everyone with their lives figured out
They congregate and tamp down the debris
The possibility of getting out unscathed is that much harder
Looking for hidden optimism somewhere in the dark

The soft glow of the TV
Illuminates childhood photos on my wall
Two beer bottles sit alone on the nightstand
I'm drunk enough to find humor in two things
First-- that at least they have each other to comfort
Second--- that they're both empty, just like me.

It's an insatiable need for human contact
When I find myself hating solitude
I mean, not simply being alone in a room
Alone at heart
My soul longs for comfort
Instead of having the courage to speak up
I fake smiles
Hoping to eventually fool myself
Killing the inner pessimist
Feeling happy. Really happy.

Her eyes,
Sunken, blue
With edges of ruddy green,
Of olive, kelp, fatigue,
A certain muddy camouflage,
Bright with purpose,
Ambition and fierce urgency,
Set their twin star sights
On me and I learned a new
Word that day—
Surrender.

I fell into formation,
Saluting her stars in the fullest light
Of the falling day.
I learned how to survive
Under such searing heat
And became intimate
With sneak attacks,
Friendly fire, sudden blitzkrieg
And the nuclear winter,
The dark sheet,
Of sorrows unveiling.

I stare into your eyes,
as they stare through me.
A blank grey canvas,
staring through infinity.

Your skin is pale,
as white as snow.
Where your mind is,
no one really knows.

How long ago,
did you lose control?
When exactly,
did you lose all hope?

The tiny holes,
all up and down your arms,
sites for the injection,
you never meant any harm.

But now my heart is torn,
and bent out of shape.
It pains to see my best friend,
with such a blank face.