i think when someone stops loving you
you can really already feel it
in the left side of your chest
but you prolong it
because you don't want to live without them

when we first met
you were full of self hatred
and drinking bottom shelf *****
i asked
why don't you get one that tastes better
and you said
it's better when it hurts a little

i don't think i could ever
un-love you
but i'm trying to learn
to love you differently

even though you don't love me
and maybe never did
i feel bad for you
more than anything
because you lost someone
who loved you more
than you could ever hate yourself

if you told me to stand on the ledge of a tall building
i'd smirk and look down from the edge happily

if you told me to drive 100 miles per hour down a backroad
i'd go 120 without blinking

if you told me to swim and swim and swim until i saw black
i'd dive as deep as i could and ignore the burning in my lungs

if you asked me
what do you fear most
i'd laugh
and say
i don't