we still suffocate in our atmosphere, I saw you but were you really there?

We tore ourselves inside out, just to become invisible. A faded shadow in the background is what I was.

Our silence cuts like a knife, razor blades and salted eyes...I grew numbed, I could not cry.

It had to be the loudest silence I've ever heard...hurt without words.

...and so, that was where we were, stuck, total strangers curled up in bed at nights with each other.

Rocked mentally by the fool I am...I was in your presence for a minute each day until I fade.

It had to be the loudest silence I've ever heard.

S.B

I watched you sleep, unsound but your presence screamed so loud. I watched you sleep, I hoped to god you were having the sweetest dreams of me.

Where is the love of your life?
Could she be awake, tormented and faded, crying her heart out?
I bet she misses you...I wonder if she too, watches you sleep.

As I watched you sleep, warm bodies collided in harmony, In peace. I wrapped my arms around you and wondered if she touched you like me.

I provided arms that refuses to let you go through the night...but I guess we will never see eye to eye, because this is more than me.

You made yourself so known, and I hope I will forever be a mystery lurking in the back of your mind...I wanted you to be mine.

...but that I know will never be, because you broke me down to almost nothing and this void will forever be in me.


S.B

Wild eyes...like the ocean, filled with unforgiving mysteries. I could watch your body's vibration all day.

Your words are few and your stares are faded, there was just something about you that took my breath away.

I heard, you traveled a long way... You fell in my path and swept my feet away.

Here I am driving myself crazy and I don't even know your name. Mixed with wickedness yet there was this softness in your eyes.

I wondered, what could be hidden beneath the surface...sparked with curiosity. All I've ever been since the first day I saw this being who became the fruit of my eye.

S.B

All you saw was me...but you never really saw me. You took my body but was afraid of my soul.

You were so weak and demoralized, faded, lost in disguise...but so was I. I have all these little pieces taken away, I was ravaged, and was growing in pain.

Through eyes that exposed so much I never knew, I've never met. Fighting demons every night I laid beside, I was beautifully wrecked.*

S.B

I'm writing this to you my love, with you on my mind.
To embrace the reckless thoughts of you being mine.
Someone came and put curves of confusion in my life.
But a future with you makes everything feels right.
I can promise you this, that I will forever be wrapped up in your tides of love.
To end each moment with every kiss.
To support thy love, it will never be enough.
Give unto me, as I please. Supply me with unforgiving love that will shake my knees.
I have been so battered, but to hide my scars I will not do.
I love how you accept them and wishes to wash them away.
Now that your here, the pain, it all fades.
Many entered my life, to use and betray...how can I drop guards that keeps my sanity?
How do I trust, to remove this bar and accept this epiphany?
I must say, I'm still afraid.
But my love...I want us to go all the way back, make me feel new and alive again.
I don't think I have ever wanted anything the way I want you...so just tell me what to do.
I'm almost unshakable...you know, so your careful.
We can't be afraid of the hard truth, we swallow painfully as if we intake rocks.
Why don't we just stop...take it all the way back.
I'm willing to walk through the storm with you, because like me...you mean that much.
So I leave masterpiece with you.
This is to you...with love**


S.B

Guess it is all a sad tale...the way the beating of one's heart fades.
Plastic feelings, fake attachments I went head in for the take. I stayed awake; I was just there, like a fool I waited and waited

I guess Its all over now huh?
because you can't hurt me anymore. Like wild fire the hurt spreads, but now all the spine and strokes of my body is dead.

You didn't know huh?
That after all these times I'd be moving on from you, you had me, you had me so tight, wrapped up in your manipulation and lies.

I wanted to break into you, infest your soul so you'll come alive, but I...I was the one who broke as you slowly snatched my life.

All I ever wanted, was to feel wanted...by you...
all I ever needed was my peace of mind that I later found out will never come if I had remained with you.


S.B

Fogged windows blinded my sight from the world. Sitting in a bus, I was overflowed with thoughts that's been haunting me from my past.

A girl can only wonder limitless, intensely and quietly... I go crazy thinking nothing ever really last.

I asked myself everyday, WHEN will I be happy
WHEN will I be complete
WHEN will I find someone who will love me... for me

Why not start a family?
at least I could have some sort of reason. To look forward to sunshine even on a cloudy day, to set sails and freely float away.

But WHEN will I discover peace?
is it that I have everything I want and nothing that I really need?

A confusing puzzle I may never solve. Maybe I should be alone, maybe I was brought here to be on my own.

...I don't know WHEN all the pain and disappointment will end, they say I'm too pretty to feel this sad, too intelligent and I should appreciate what I have, that one day everything will fall into place... Yet I have to pretend
They say just wait, day after day. Everything that is for you, will come to you
.... But WHEN?


S.B